Chapter Twenty Three
Jarrod, who had finally been told by the doctor that being confined to the bed was no longer a necessity, sat fully dressed on the side of the bed. He was holding a letter in his hands, one that arrived just that morning; it was from his mother.
Jarrod sighed as he read the last two lines; both questions, in his mother's letter. IsJohn your brother, Nick or not?Ishe coming home? Jarrod had tried to talk to John more than once since their talk in the doctor's office. Each time John had come up with some reason to either changed the subject, or leave the room entirely. Now, Jarrod's eyes fell on his suitcases; he and Steve were due to leave within the hour. However, Steve had informed Jarrod that, while Steve would ride the train to Stockton, he would not be staying on the ranch. No, he had already sent two telegrams off. The first one had been to his mother and sister asking if they could take Lily and Paulette in until he got there. The second was to Lily instructing her to talk to the good father about taking Paulette to Modesto while Lily and Steve waited for the adoption to go through. Jarrod had forbid him to send a third...one telling them about 'the incident'...the second telegram they'd sent about that had never gone through either. 'I'm fine now, why bother' had been Jarrod's exact words. When it came to Steve, he told Jarrod he was hopping on the first stagecoach to Modesto to spend some much needed time with his own mother and sister….even if he had to ride a stagecoach from San Francisco to Modesto.
Jarrod lay the letter in his lap and sighed. Was he going home alone? Had he come to Nevada to find his brother, only to find the man unwilling to accept the truth that had been handed him? A knock on the bedroom door brought Jarrod out of his private thoughts. "Come on in!" Jarrod called out, expecting to see Steve enter the room. However, he was surprised when his brother opened the door and stepped inside; Jarrod was sure that Paul would send word through one of the Davies that 'John had too much work to do to see you off', or something to that effect. Jarrod didn't know what to think as John entered and he saw a book in his brother's hands. Since it looked nothing like the book belonging to his late father and the late Mr. Alders, Jarrod wondered what was going on. "May I help you?" He asked when John walked over to a chair and sat down, but said nothing.
The only answer Jarrod received was watching John opened the book and began turning the pages. It seemed like an eternity-even though it was less than a minute-before his brother lifted his head, looked at Jarrod and explained what the book was and why he'd started reading it again. "I don't know what I thought I could have written in it that would help me. After all, if I knew my full name back then, anything about my family that would help me get back to them, I wouldn't be living here today. Would I?"
While the question was said more like a statement than anything, Jarrod still sat up straight and answered it. "I would think not." His eyes added the unspoken question 'What did you write?' even as he told himself to be patient and wait for his brother to continue talking.
John's eyes turned back to the open book in front of him. Ever so slowly, and with a voice that sounded loud and clear of one reliving the pain of the past, began reading.
"I have to admit I don't have it too bad here at the Davies. Mr. Davies might be a hard one to communicate with, but he's an honest, hardworking man who is doing his best by his family. Mrs. Davies isn't bad either, and she's a good cook. William is okay I guess. I mean, he might barely talk to me, but he is civil enough I suppose. On the other hand, Paul has made it loud and clear what he thinks of taking me in; seems to think that the Indians found me wandering around by myself-at such a young age-is proof I'm someone's back woods colt that's been abandoned. Behind his parents' backs, he treats me like I was filth."
John looked up from the book and saw the pain in Jarrod's eyes. Not knowing about Heath, John didn't know the intense pain Jarrod Barkley felt was for both 'John' and the blond haired brother John had only heard bits and parts about. John took a deep breath and looked back at the book. It was all he could do to read the next paragraph. In fact, he was having a hard enough time that it made Jarrod stiffen and brace himself for the worst.
"I had that dream again, the one where I'm with another child. We're playing and laughing, only I could see other people near us, but they weren't with us. I can't prove it only my gut tells me they're my family. Well, at least some of them are. As much as I try, I can't get their names to come to me. Well, I guess that's not quite true. I can see…" John stopped reading and then, after taking a deep breath, continued. "I can see one other boy. I can't see him clearly; I can't tell anyone what he looks like. I can't tell anyone his last name, but I could tell anyone-if I wanted to- he's my brother. I could tell you his name is…."
John shut the book, looked up at Jarrod with a look of a man who has, once again, realized just what he was robbed of in the past and sighed. "I could tell you his name is Jarrod." John then shocked Jarrod by admitting he'd had a gut feeling about Jarrod from the beginning. "I think I knew who you were when we first met. It's just," John shook his head and rubbed his forehead; that is, once he'd set the book aside he did. "It's been so long. I had forgotten about those dreams, about writing that part I just read to you." He stood up and turned to face the window, his emotions feeling like they were going wild. "I came to terms with a number of things years ago. My life was okay; maybe not all I'd like it to be what with Eliza and our child dying, but it was still a good life."
While it was flattering to Jarrod to think his brother would actually write that in the journal, Jarrod also felt horrible for him. He realized then what he was going to say wasn't what he'd originally thought about. So, as hard it was, Jarrod started speaking once his brother fell silent. "I'm not asking you to turn your back on your life here. I'm only asking you to come with me to California, for a visit. Allow our mother to see you, to talk to you…and allow us to call you Nick even if you continue going by John when it comes to others around you. Meet the rest of the family, I'll tell you about them before we ever leave this ranch." And he would have to do that, especially in the case of Heath. If this brother could not accept Heath, Jarrod couldn't see how anything but a visit would take place. Then again, after what Nick had been through at the hands of Paul, Jarrod hoped there would be understanding and acceptance showed instead of rejection.
John sighed as he thought on 'Mama Davies'. A part of him hated to leave her behind, but it's not like she was alone even if William was a married man. His younger 'brother' and his bride were now living with Mrs. Davies.
When his brother turned around and headed for the bedroom door, Jarrod's heart fell. He was sure the action meant that John was turning down the request that Jarrod had just proposed to him. However, he felt his heart start beating with excitement as John said, "I need to pack and talk to Mama Davies before we leave, but the name is John Summers to everyone. At least for now,"
Jarrod let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding as he stood up and began making sure he hadn't forgotten anything. As much as he wanted to call his brother by his real name, he wouldn't fight him on it...not if it meant his brother was going back to California with him.