A/N: I've had a really good couple of days in terms of writing and sorting out plot points - so I'm happy to present you with another alarmingly long and jam packed chapter. Thank you so much for your reviews!

Chapter Six: You're not enough

I spent the following morning completely and utterly alone.

Except for Dorcas.

But she was too busy revising for a Charms test during our Free and had ignored me for the most part. The Marauders had this lesson free too, but they were nowhere in sight. I wasn't that surprised because they often spent it away from me – more 'Lad's time' according to Sirius. But occasionally Remus would come do homework with Dorcas while I pretended to do the same. But even he wasn't around. I supposed they could have all been in a strop with me because Kyle had apparently given them all detentions and copped points too. There was also the glaring fact that Sirius and I were having another fight and despite what I liked to think, Remus really was Sirius' friend first. Annoyingly.

Normally I would moan about the argument and dissect it to bits, questioning why my life was so very horrible, but Dorcas gave me such a terrifying warning look that I closed my mouth before I even got the first 'Urgh' out.

"Kate, I'm sorry that you and Sirius argued, I really am – but I have to concentrate! You two will work it out," she said.

"It's not my fault you decided to take seven NEWTS!" I complained, but she just clicked her tongue and reminded me that Lily did too, and James and Remus did six, and it wasn't her fault that I was insistent on being absolutely average and had only taken five.

As usual Dorcas was being unforgivably rude, but I did feel a stab of sympathy when I saw her muttering incantations to herself looking stressed. I had completely loathed Charms during OWLs, so I patted her on the back a bit and then offered to quiz her. After all, she was right – Sirius and I would work it out, or we'd break up. There really was nothing new to discuss. I even managed to laugh when Dorcas non-verbally cast the levitation charm and, very uncharacteristically, stuffed it up and knocked herself out with her textbook.

After taking a dizzy Dorcas to the Hospital Wing, I strolled off to Transfiguration, humming to myself. I knew she hadn't meant to, but she'd really cheered me up with her mishap and I wasn't feeling that low anymore. I even smiled at a couple of First Years who stopped and gaped at me as I waggled my fingers at them and laughed. When I got to the Transfiguration corridor however, I saw Lily staring at Severus Snape who was talking in a fast and quiet voice, gesturing a bit wildly. When his eyes twitched down to his sides to where his wand stuck out of his pocket, I pulled my own out and marched forward feeling another thrill.

My friends were too kind having problems of their own and distracting me from mine.

Snape hadn't spoken to Lily since she'd ended their friendship after the OWL incident, but I knew he was bound to try again this year. He was obsessed with her.

"Twitchy fingers Snivellus?" I said nodding at his hand fingering his wand and pointing my own at his feet. "Do you want twitchy feet too?"

"Kate," Lily said in a tired voice and I lowered my wand, eyeing the greasy Slytherin up and down. He was gritting his teeth now and his hands were in fists at his sides. He probably wanted to hit me – I wish he would try, I was so frustrated already, and I needed to get it off my chest. A good Tarantallegra hex was bound to put me in a better mood.

"So," he finally said, turning his glare from me to Lily. "Nothing's changed."

"No," Lily said firmly, shaking her head.

He gave a curt nod and walked away with his arms swinging and his robes billowing around him like a bizarre bat. I pouted and put away my wand looking at Lily, who was still staring at the opposite wall as if Snape was still there.

"You okay?" I asked, nudging her arm.

"Fine. You didn't have to threaten to hex him," she sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her head back slightly.

"Don't worry," I said, patting her on the back. "I wanted to."

She gave a funny laugh and when her eyes opened they were no longer glassy. I smiled at her and she nodded and we walked in to the classroom arm in arm.

Shockingly, the Marauders were there already, even though the lesson didn't start for another five minutes at least. They all watched as Lily and I headed to the desk she usually shared with Dorcas and I felt their eyes on the back of my head.

"They'll probably use that eavesdropping charm," I muttered and Lily sighed, looking over her shoulder. They were still watching and I saw that James' eyebrows were creased in concern. Sirius was the only one who looked disinterested, not even meeting my eyes as his gaze swept over Lily and up and around the room. Peter was glancing at James, and Remus sent us a sympathetic smile. We couldn't tell which one of us it was intended for, but Lily just sighed and muttered the word "Muffliato" and pointed her wand discreetly in their direction.

"They won't hear anything now," she said and true to her word, James looked suddenly frustrated putting a finger in his ear and twisting.

"Was that one of his?" I asked as we turned back around.

"Yes."

She didn't seem to want to talk anymore, and I found that I was happy to stay quiet too. After all, no matter how she was feeling, I wasn't quite sure it compared to the stab in my chest I'd felt when Sirius' eyes had flicked past me as if I wasn't there.

I had another Free after Lunch while the others were in Potions and since I obviously couldn't spend it with Sirius or Peter, who had also ditched the subject, I wandered around the corridors aimlessly looking for something to do. Eventually I ended up in the Defence Against the Dark Arts corridor thinking I might run into a Boggart or something that would provide me with an entertaining and distracting afternoon. I knew that you were really supposed to fight Boggarts with help, but I wasn't afraid of dealing with them myself. I had never got the same Boggart twice since my moods and fears shifted so frequently, and I actually found them surprisingly easy to get rid of since I always found myself laughing in tense or inappropriate situations. I was peeking into random nooks and corners when I heard some laughter and excitement coming from Professor Prewett's classroom.

I glanced in the window and saw that the Fifth Year Gryffindors were chortling at something he was saying – he was a hilarious teacher, a huge improvement on the awful old man we'd had the previous year who had been so mean he'd once dissolved Peter into tears. Professor Gideon Prewett on the other hand was young and fairly handsome and always had his classes in stitches. James and Sirius idolized him and I wasn't much better. It totally devastated me when he'd informed us he was only staying for a year – I had fervently hoped he would be the one to break the DADA Professor curse.

When he caught sight of me through the glass, I blushed and gave him a pathetic wave and I hurried away. Ugh, what was wrong with me? Next thing I knew I'd start stuttering.

"Katherine?"

I stopped in my tracks because, really why wouldn't you stop for a funny, super talented and fanciable teacher who said your full name with a kind of playful caress? Sadly when I turned, he didn't seem as though he was about to profess his undying love for me, but had an eyebrow cocked in confusion.

"Shouldn't you be in class or snogging your boyfriend or something?" he said, with a little smirk.

Well, I did say he was young. I should probably add 'a tad inappropriate' to his description but it would only make me love him more and the crush was already a bit unhealthy.

"I have neither at the minute Professor," I smiled and he beckoned me over.

Feeling very odd and uncomfortable, I walked awkwardly into his full classroom and he closed the door behind me. The Fifth Years just stared at me and I stared back before finally giving them a grimace and a wave. A couple of the boys chuckled and I felt slightly more at ease.

"Any reason you're having me gate-crash your OWL class, Sir?" I asked.

"Yes, I was just recapping Boggarts with my Fifth Years and then I saw you gaping in here, and thought you might assist me in a demonstration?" Professor Prewett grinned.

"Not feeling confident in your own abilities, eh?" I said with a knowing nod. I was so glad I'd been a creep and looked in this window – acting up for this class was cheering me up immensely.

Prewett laughed again and turned to the watching students. "For those of you who don't know, this is Katherine Hopkirk from Sixth Year."

I curtsied and noticed that Lizzy was watching me from the front row with wide eyes. Oh bugger it all – I just realized I'd called her a Mumbler at the top of my voice the night before. She probably didn't like me much.

"Katherine, when she actually tries, is one of the most talented Defence students in her year."

"Key words – 'when I try'," I said, happy to look away from Lizzy's nervous face, and feeling pleased with the compliment. I did know that I was good at his subject, but I still hated writing essays. Also, the problem with being good at Defence was that people really expected you to want to do something noble like become an Auror or something. And shallow as it might seem, the only thing I wanted to do after school was follow The Ghouls around and maybe open up a pub.

"So, while I think that the class will be able to get rid of Boggart together, I thought it might be fun for them to see an older student face one first," Prewett continued nodding to me. There were a few whispers now – a slightly chubby girl beside Lizzy looked irritated and a couple of the boys I didn't know by name, looked impressed.

"Go on Kate! We know you're dying to show off!" Emmeline said, raising a couple of giggles and titters. I rolled my eyes but grinned at her.

"So Kate?" Professor Prewett asked with an easy smile. "Will you help?"

I raised an eyebrow. I wonder if he knew how to do Legilimency and had figured out that I'd been in this corridor looking for a Boggart in the first place. His smile seemed to tell me he knew my answer before I said it as well.

"Two questions," I said holding up a finger. "One – Why are you hoarding Boggarts? Two in one classroom, honestly Sir, what is the point?"

More laughter. I bit back a grin. Thank Merlin stupid Sirius wasn't around – I never got to be the center of attention all by myself.

"Purely educational reasons, I assure you," the Professor replied before nodding me on.

"Two – do I still have to write the essay for tomorrow?"

I think one of the boys swooned. I mean whatever the boy equivalent of swooning was. I gave him an odd look and he cringed.

Prewett rolled his eyes. "If you do a good job, I'll excuse you from it."

"Then unleash the beast," I said, rolling up my sleeves and holding my wand at the ready. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the Fifth Years had leaned forward in anticipation and I couldn't quite hold back a grin. This day was really looking up for me.

Professor Prewett crossed the room to a large cabinet by the windows and nodded to me before throwing open the rusty doors. You could have heard a pin drop when the doors stopped creaking and nothing visible emerged immediately. I heard a little gasp and I thought quickly over the last few Boggarts I'd had. I hadn't had a banshee yet and I had recently developed a bit of a fear of them once I'd realized that Mafalda reminded me of one. I'd have to think about changing her voice to sound like Remus and I badly singing along to the Ghouls.

But then, he walked out of the cabinet. Sirius, looking gorgeous as ever with that addictive smirk on his face, emerged with his hands in his pockets looking a bit sheepish. I frowned and I heard whispers again. This was not a usual Boggart. I cleared my throat and glanced at Professor Prewett who seemed just as confused as everyone else.

"Not sure why that's come up," I said. "I only find that ponce irritating, not scary."

And then before anyone had time to laugh at my joke, three more people walked out of the cabinet blushing and looking flustered. Their clothes were rumpled and their lips looked swollen. I felt my heart starting to beat rapidly but I was still confused as to why. If I hadn't just seen Emmeline and Lizzy sitting in their chairs out of the corner of my eye, I would have actually believed that they were standing in front of me as they joined another pretty, vaguely familiar, girl at Sirius' side. I recognized her, suddenly, as the girl who had made the accidentally inappropriate bat comment. And then, abruptly, they were all over him – draping themselves on every limb – as if they were all part of the same body, kissing him where only I should have been kissing him.

I'm sure Emmeline and Lizzy must have been embarrassed, but that couldn't have held a candle to how I felt right then. It was humiliating – mortifying. That was my biggest fear? Seeing my boyfriend cheat? It didn't make sense. Sure, I got annoyed with the flirting, but I was never really worried he'd cheat, was I?

And then the Boggart Sirius spoke and it had his husky, sexy voice and he said the only words that could have made me understand why that was my Boggart that day. It didn't make it any less humiliating though.

"You're not enough Kate – not enough to keep my attention," the Boggart Sirius said as he ran his hands down the girls' backs. "Not pretty enough or cool or interesting or smart enough. Just a loud, annoying girl who tries too hard."

And then, Mafalda came out of the cabinet too and Sirius was eyeing her up seductively.

My mouth fell open and even though I knew, I knew, that Lizzy and Emmeline were sitting down and weren't taking turns snogging my boyfriend's face off – I felt a surge of anger or worry or maybe even fear run through me. I was paralyzed – the first time a Boggart had ever done that to me. And ugh – for this!

Professor Prewett stood in front of me and I was able to tear my eyes from the improbable, absurd, ridiculous scene that had frozen me so that I couldn't even mutter my favorite spell in the world. As I took some deep breaths, I noticed idly that the Boggart had turned in to Professor Prewett crying over a man that looked identical to him, but also looked dead. It took him just a second before he flicked his wand and said "Riddikulus!" and the dead Prewett's eyes opened and said 'boo!' making the other Prewett skid manically across the room and knock over a potted plant. The room burst into nervous chuckles and suddenly Emmeline called out, "Come on Kate!"

And then a boy said, "Black's not scary!"

So I nodded and elbowed Professor Prewett out of the way and the startled and confused Boggart changed back in to my too-handsome boyfriend (except he had red hair like the two Prewetts) as he snogged Boggart Lizzy and then said scornfully, "You'll never be enough."

Feeling my breath catch just once more, I lifted my wand and said firmly, "Riddikulus!" and suddenly Sirius was bald as a baby's bottom and Lizzy was growing an extremely long and ugly beard. I burst into laughter as the Boggart forms of my boyfriend and the Quidditch Goddess yelped in horror and shame and the room shook with tremendous gales of laughter. And then poof, as the Boggart twitched and shook around the edges, Professor Prewett raised his wand and it was back in the cabinet and the room erupted into applause.

I curtsied again and grinned at Prewett's pat on the back before my eyes flickered to Lizzy. She looked, if possible, more mortified than I knew I'd looked moment ago. I felt a horrible wrench of guilt.

"No offence Lizzy," I shrugged with a half smile and felt a bit bad when the room laughed again.

"Okay, okay I think you've embarrassed too many people today," Professor Prewett said nudging me towards the door. "You can do 8 inches instead of 12 for your essay."

"You are very cruel Professor," I said, shaking my head as he chuckled and slammed the door.

Thankfully the last lesson of the day was History and it was quiet and uneventful. Remus and Peter were too far away from me to talk or even give me odd looks, and Dorcas was still dizzy from her accident earlier in the day. I was able to push away my problems and focus on telling her very nicely that it didn't matter that she had a headache all through her test because, since she'd been knocked out by her Charms textbook, there was always a chance that some of the knowledge had seeped in. She didn't seem to know what to say to that, so she just put her head on the table and closed her eyes. I turned back to Boring Binns and watched him and pretended to listen as I let my thoughts drift back to my Boggart. I still felt my stomach squirm sickeningly when I thought of it, and I wasn't able to push it from my head.

"I'm going to the dormitory to take a nap before dinner," Dorcas said when we left the History classroom. "Tell Lily that I'll work on the essay with her afterwards okay?"

I nodded. "I could help you too – I only have to do 8 inches."

She raised an eyebrow and I winced. I wasn't going to tell anyone about the Boggart – I knew the stupid Fifth Years would probably spread it around before I got a chance anyway.

"You live in another universe," Dorcas sighed, evidently assuming that I was just making up rules for myself. I grinned and waved goodbye before I fell back into a scowl and thundered through the corridors. I yelled at the First Years that I'd smiled at earlier and took slight pleasure in seeing them cower away before I suddenly stumbled upon another pair of familiar faces.

Lizzy and the girl who'd sat beside her during Defence were sitting on a bench in the Entrance Hall practicing summoning charms. Neither of them seemed very good at it because nothing was flying at them at random. I took a deep breath and then unceremoniously darted towards them.

Lizzy's eyes flew open in surprise and her friend narrowed hers. Why was her friend so angry with me anyway? Did she know Legilimency too? Had she read my mind when I'd called her chubby in my head earlier? I hadn't really meant it as an insult. If anything, I related to her body type more than the slender Lizzy, not because I was chubby too – because I wasn't – but more because her tits looked more massive than mine. She clearly didn't seem to think we were kindred breast-its because her eyes just shot to Lizzy protectively.

"Um…" I said awkwardly wishing that my stupid school skirt had pockets. It was so unfair that the boys could just stick their hands in their pockets and look sheepish and appropriately sorry when I had to use my words.

"Hi Lizzy," I continued before nodding to her friend. I didn't want to offend her any more than I already apparently had, by admitting I didn't know her name, so I just grinned at her. She scowled and looked away. Friendly.

"H-Hi Kate," Lizzy said in a small voice.

"Sorry again about today," I said casually. "I didn't know how else to make you look funny."

Friendly girl harrumphed and glared at me again and I smiled.

"Bless you."

Lizzy elbowed her friend and then nodded. "No…er, that's okay. It was er- pretty er- funny."

I fleetingly wanted to slap her. One um or er was okay, but between every word, honestly? How was she in Gryffindor when she wasn't even brave enough to stop stuttering? How could Sirius find that attractive? I suppose the poor girl was just shy and since I was boisterous, I was probably terrifying her. There was no denying the horrified expression on her face.

"And I'm sorry about yesterday too. I shouldn't have involved you in my argument with Sirius. It wasn't nice of me," I nodded, again wanting pockets to stick my hands in. I settled for twirling a piece of hair around my finger instead.

Lizzy's cheeks were glowing a little and Friendly girl was looking confusedly at me now.

"That's really, um, okay," Lizzy said, letting out a shaky breath. "But…er, I think you were wrong."

I studied her face, trying to work out what she meant by that. In truth, I hardly remembered what I'd said at the time. "About what? I mean, not to be rude, but you are a bit of a mumbler."

"Why are you being rude then?" Friendly girl spoke up and I raised my eyebrows feeling impressed. So, she could do more than glare!

"I did say I didn't mean it."

Lizzy gave her friend a look and shook her head again. "No, I meant about…um, Sirius wishing I would look at him." Her face was the colour of Dorcas' favourite sweater now – pink, if you wondered –and she raised a hand to bite her fingernails before Friendly slapped it away.

I shrugged. "Well, you would think that I suppose. But I know him a bit better than you. He's attracted to you."

Now her face was the colour of Lily's hair and I felt my mouth twitch with amusement. She was easier to embarrass than Remus!

"I…I don't think so. We only spoke for the first time yesterday," she said quickly and I wanted to pat her on the back for being so eloquent.

I smiled at her in a way that I hoped showed that she was being clueless. "In any case, I thought I should tell you that we are still going out."

She looked mortified now and just nodded.

"So…if you could," I felt a bit embarrassed now, but didn't let it show. "Not flirt with him – you'd be doing me a huge favour."

"I––" She looked like she was struggling for breath and looked helplessly to her friend who was still studying me distrustfully.

"She doesn't flirt with him, she can barely say a word around him," her friend explained and I saw Lizzy scowl for the first time.

It quite endeared me to her and I suddenly felt bad for putting any blame on her in the first place. These two were clueless – they obviously didn't have a lot of experience with flirting with popular lads. Lizzy was even more innocent than Remus, and Sirius had no business flirting with her, because even if she didn't recognize it, I knew she was feeling the effects and it would only make her fancy him more. And although selfishly I wanted that not to happen because it might cause problems for me – it wasn't her problem.

"Yeah, I guess the real issue is him."

And then the two of them were quiet and I smiled, looking up at the ceiling and trying to whistle. When they didn't say anything, and I'd failed miserably at even managing a squeak, I looked back down at them and shrugged.

"Well, see you around."

And then I ran up the staircase two at a time to find Lily. It took only a few minutes because she was striding very impatiently down the corridor and I ran headfirst in to her. She looked like she was about to yell but then; maybe because she noted the strange tiredness on my face, she shut her mouth and smiled at me comfortingly. Part of me wanted to dissolve into tears but the other half forced me to just smile back and lead the way to the Library.

Once we'd got to our usual tables near the back and taken out our Defence homework, Lily nudged me. As much as I loved Dorcas (despite all of her rudeness) this was the reason Lily was my best friend – she knew when the look on my face was different and when it mattered.

"Hey, you haven't talked about the fight with Sirius at all yet."

I sighed, feeling exhausted. I wished she'd been there at the beginning of the day when I was in the mood to moan – right now all I wanted was to stop thinking of him and the Boggart and Lizzy and anything.

"More of the same, isn't it?" I said listlessly. "He can't keep his eyes from straying and I can't keep myself from freaking out over it."

"Will you two work it out, do you reckon?"

"I don't know Lil – sometimes I think that we're just running through our lives constantly trying to be together when all we want is to be apart. It's very confusing."

"I think you need to really tell him how much the flirting bothers you," she said, grabbing my hand. "You make jokes about it and then you blow up all of a sudden. Maybe he just doesn't realize. Tell him seriously how much it upsets you and why it upsets you and maybe he'll stop. And if he doesn't, then he's an arrogant prickhead and he doesn't deserve you anyway!" she said, her green eyes sparkling, first with earnest, and then resentment.

I nodded. "Yeah. Maybe I will. I might have been being slightly irrational yesterday, I suppose. I was just annoyed that Sarah Hobbs was such a disaster for Remus."

Lily giggled suddenly and pressed her fingers to her lips. "Oh. You didn't see."

"What?"

"She was snogging him like her life depended on it for the rest of the night. He looked exhausted by the time she'd disappeared up to her dormitory."

What. No! Remus' first snog had been with McDanger? She'd only snogged him because he'd gotten in the middle of a fight – not because she actually liked him. Urgh. I was going to kill Peter. Actually, I should have taken full responsibility for allowing her to be Girl One. Why would I trust Peter Pettigrew of all people? Oh bollocks, I hoped that Remus wasn't going to marry her! She liked the Crowing Codwallops – I wouldn't be able to come to the wedding if that would be the music they played.

"Oh," I said, to cover up my despair. I didn't want to let on that I was disappointed by this development – I knew exactly what kind of looks everyone would give me if I dared to say that Sarah Hobbs was not the right girl for Remus after all the trouble we'd gone through to get him to agree to the plan in the first place. At least now I could focus my energy on sorting through that mess instead of the problems in my own life.

What would I tell Remus? That I saw her snogging someone else? No, I wasn't that terrible and even if McDanger was just the annoying kind of shallow girl that drove me mental, it wouldn't feel right.

"I've got to get some books from the Restricted Section – you should fill out the Remus chart and then we can work on Defence when I get back," Lily said, patting me on the shoulder before she headed to Madam Pince.

I took the chart out of my bag slowly and looked at Sarah's column – Dorcas had taught me a cool spell to put on it so that it filled in the details by itself. The description of the first meeting, her appearance, her personality, how she responded to Remus – all of those rows were filled in. Now I just had to give her a score. I couldn't put zero – not when he'd got a snog out of it. Oh why had he gotten a snog out of it? Why was everything so bloody frustrating lately?

"I'd go with 5…well, maybe that's low. 6? 7? Does that seem fair?"

I looked up and saw that Remus was poring over the chart right beside me. His collar was pushed up but I saw some telltale bruises on his neck that matched the one under his eye.

"Hello Slick – did a Niffler find gold in your throat?" I said pointing at the marks, unable to hide my smile.

He blushed and flipped his collar up completely to hide the bruises and gave me an embarrassed shrug.

"And 5 is a bit low for your first kiss, Remus."

"Is it supposed to be so wet?" he mumbled and I held back a laugh. He was really quite brilliant for not mentioning his idiot friend. Maybe he didn't know it, but I much preferred listening to his adorable first kiss problems than thinking about mine.

"Well, too much tongue is never good. But it depends on the situation really. Did you like it?"

His cheeks were scarlet. "I don't really know. She was very nice and patient with me at first because I was so pathetic and clueless…but…"

"But she's a terrible snogger?"

"No!" Remus said, covering his face. "I don't know. I just…I don't think I'm right for her. She only seemed to like me once I'd got this," he added pointing at his black eye.

"And she thought she'd better give you something on your neck to match?"

"Kate!" Remus said, hitting his forehead on the table.

I ruffled his hair and put a 5 under the score for Sarah Hobbs with a little flourish. Thank Merlin; I wouldn't have to lie to get him to drop her. He turned to the side and winced.

"Actually, do we have to score? It's so…vulgar."

I smiled and flicked my wand to make the column disappear. "It's your chart Remus – we do what you want."

"How are you?" he said, propping his head up on his hand as he looked at me. "Did Sirius find you?"

Ugh. Just when I was starting to think he was the most perfect person alive.

"Was he looking for me?"

Remus shrugged and opened up his bag, placing the ink bottle carefully in front of him and the quill to its right. Finally he drew out his Defence textbook and a sheet of parchment. I watched, my mind running through all of the events from the day and wondering why after I'd just brushed Lily off, I suddenly felt like talking to Remus about it. Maybe it was because Sirius was his friend – I was looking for some kind of inside look at why he acted the way he did. And as nice as Lily was to say he didn't deserve me if he didn't change, I needed a more…neutral party.

"Do you think I overreacted?" I asked, fiddling with my quill.

"I didn't see how he was looking at her, but I think if you felt that way then you were justified in letting him know," he said diplomatically. Even though I wasn't looking directly at him, I saw his eyes flicker up to look at me as he bent over his parchment. They looked worried.

"Why does it keep happening?" I said sadly after a few more moments of silence. "Aren't I enough?"

He clicked his tongue and furrowed his eyebrows as he appraised me. He waited until I looked up at him and I suddenly felt a little cautious and stupid. I would never voice that kind of concern around Sirius or James…but Remus, he was different. Even if he thought I was ridiculous, he would never ever say so. My insecurities were safe with him, just as apparently his were with me. Because, I'd just realized, he'd never actually admitted before today that he'd never kissed anyone before. And I think he knew that I would never share his admission of being clueless during the snog, with anyone else.

He was still looking at me thoughtfully and I was patient as I looked back at him. Remus always chose his words carefully.

"Of course you are. Kate, you are hilarious and kind and caring and beautiful – you are more than enough. Too much sometimes – with all your dramatics," he said with a gentle smile.

I looked at the table feeling my ears go a little warm. I picked up my quill for something to do and shrugged offhandedly.

"Beautiful, bah! What about Lily or Dorcas or Emmeline…or Lizzy or any oth–"

He scoffed and cut me off. "Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Look, to…er, to Sirius, you are the most beautiful girl in this castle."

I felt for the first time more unhinged by something he'd said, than the way he looked in response to most things I said. My insides squirmed at the compliment.

"Yeah but how many castles has he been in?"

Remus rolled his eyes and looked down at his textbook, ignoring me. I watched for a moment as he read through some passages. I was hot under my collar and I had no idea why I felt so weird – I'd basically said the same thing to Remus just a few days ago. Why did hearing my words repeated back at me make me feel all odd and jittery?

"I'm all embarrassed now," I laughed, fanning a hand in front of my face. He looked up and chuckled.

"He's never really said that, has he?" I asked.

He bit the end of his quill and I noticed that unlike me, he didn't need to spit out any feathers.

"Well, maybe not exactly that way."

"Ah yes. What did he actually say? 'Excellent tits,' I suppose – 'decent arse,' maybe."

"You know just how to turn the tables. Just say…tits and arse and you're not the embarrassed one anymore," he said quietly, his cheeks glowing.

I laughed again and then sighed heavily and ignoring his embarrassment. "You see! That's all I really needed – some reassurance, a bit of affection that has nothing to do with snogging. Why can't he see that?"

Remus shrugged and started to write something. I saw that he was still a bit red – even the word 'tits' out of his mouth had him blushing like a child. It was so…charming. I hoped having a girlfriend wouldn't squeeze this innocence and modesty out of him – I would miss it too much.

"Sirius is just…I don't know. I don't think he realizes that it actually upsets you – he thinks it's a laugh and a kind of game you two play," he said.

"Yeah, Lily said something like that too."

"Talk to him," Remus encouraged. "He might surprise you."

"How come you just understand though," I sighed. "I bet Sarah won't have to deal with you flirting with other girls."

He looked uncomfortable. "I don't think I'm going to ask her out, actually. I feel sick about it – but I think I should feel more for someone before I start anything with them. I should have never kissed her in the first place. She's really nice and pretty but it was almost impossible to make conversation, we don't have similar interests. She likes the Crowing Codswallops, for example." He made a retching sound.

"Oh thank Merlin!" I said, leaning my forehead to his shoulder. "She was so wrong for you."

He chuckled and patted my head before he moved away. "Any tips on how to break it to her gently? I don't want to offend her."

"You're asking the wrong person," I sighed, thinking of Sirius again.

A/N: Phewf that was a lot. I'm actually really enjoying writing Remus - he's so different to how I wrote Sirius in Bottle-Specs, it's a nice challenge. Thanks for reading!