A/N: I know you guys hate the cliffhangers, but wow I so love your reviews after them ;) Thanks for your patience - enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Seven: He was a bloody werewolf

The scene seemed to be frozen for too long. There I was clamping my fingers tightly against my mouth hyperventilating and there they were staring at me in shock and holding their wands at the ready. And then as long as the stillness had been, time seemed to speed up as they lowered their wands, ran fingers through their hair, stuck hands in their pockets, and turned to look at one another.

"It's just Kate. Should have guessed," Sirius muttered as I still fought for words. All I seemed able to make were squeaky, gaspy sounds.

"Just Kate? You're damn right we should have guessed. All those questions she was asking – how did you not figure out she'd try and snoop?" James demanded angrily.

"What? I'm not a bloody mind reader!"

"You were her boyfriend for months – you of all people should know how her mind works!" Peter put in.

"Well she knows now. What do we do?" Sirius sighed, walking over to me, and peering at my face, like I was some kind of odd painting. Meanwhile, I was still gasping for air.

"Kate? Hello? Kate, are you in there?"

He poked the side of my head a few times and by the third tap, I lunged my hand up to shove his fingers away.

"Good, we didn't break her," he sighed, backing away and collapsing into his chair.

My eyes darted around the curtained off area without being able to focus. The boys were still talking in hurried, annoyed whispers, but I couldn't make out full sentences. It felt like the room was spinning. And then, I caught a proper glimpse of Remus' face. If his forearm looked bad, this was horrific. There was a long thin scar going from just over his eyebrow, down over his eyelid and across the bridge of his nose. At first, it just appeared to be a ragged scratch, but when I'd shakily taken a step closer and bumped into Peter, I realized that the only thing still holding his face together was a thin, glowing and pulsating purple string laced through the wound. I had never been great with blood and hacked up flesh wasn't any better.

Every other time I'd thought I was short of breath, every other time I'd felt like my chest was tight couldn't compare to that moment. With my heart racing, I keeled over at the waist hyperventilating so loudly; it covered up any other sounds in the room. The heavy breathing made me light-headed and the floor didn't seem to be remaining still until I felt an unfamiliar patting on my back. It took a few minutes, but eventually the gesture placated me and I was able to stand upright and squeeze my diaphragm area and look around the room once more. The back-patter was James – his brows furrowed well under the rims of his glasses as he looked at Peter and Sirius worriedly.

"Shit," he said. "He's going to kill us."

"We could obliviate her – it wouldn't be the first time," Peter suggested.

What?

I still couldn't speak, but managed to focus on Sirius shaking his head firmly. "No. No way. You remember how mental he went after we did that last year."

"You did, what?" I exclaimed, finding my voice and wincing as it cut through the air sharply.

"She seems like she's in shock," James said hopefully. "Maybe she'll just block it out?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I snapped loudly and they all jumped – shushing me and looking at Remus' unconscious body anxiously.

"Keep your voice down," Sirius whispered harshly, glaring between me and Remus.

"Tell me what's going on. Why is he – I heard you say – What is this?" I screeched, grabbing James by his collar. His eyes widened in alarm as he straightened his glasses and pulled free from my grasp, blinking oddly for a moment.

"We have to tell her."

"Everything?" Peter gasped.

"Only what's relevant," Sirius cut in. "Kate, you heard it right."

I took a couple of calming breaths.

"Remus is a…a…"

"A werewolf," James provided.

Oh Godric. It was really true.

"Why is he all mangled?" I asked quietly, afraid of my own voice.

"Sometimes the transformation takes its toll – he hurts himself," Sirius explained, his eyes looking dull and unfocused.

Remus was a werewolf. He was in pain and lying half dead on the bed in front of me. He was a bloody werewolf. Good Godric, everything was upside down.

"Yeah. He's going to kill us," James sighed as he studied my face and slumped into the chair on my left. He leaned forward and clasped his hands together and stared at Remus with the same dull expression as Sirius had. And on the other side of the bed, Sirius folded his arms tightly over his chest and stared at the wall grimly. Peter hovered beside the last chair to my right, as if waiting to see if I might fall into it. But I couldn't sit – Remus looked so fragile – like he couldn't even afford to let someone else breathe the same air.

"It's not our fault," Sirius said. "Once she sets her mind to something…"

"But you know that she's the last person he wanted to know," James replied.

"Trust me," Sirius said in a hard voice. "I know."

"Kate," Peter started timidly. "You can't tell anyone. Even if you're afraid."

I jerked my head to look at him so fast, I felt a sharp spasm in my neck.

"Afraid? Of what? Of him?!" I asked.

"Wormtail, you dunce. She's not going to be scared of him," Sirius said impatiently, rubbing his face.

"Right. But, what exactly is your reaction?" James asked, prodding my knee with his foot.

I shook my head. I didn't know. I wasn't scared – werewolves in the theoretical sense had never really frightened me – at least werewolves in their normal state. If there was one thing my parents had taught me, it was that people couldn't control the things that happened to them. Remus didn't ask to be bitten and anyway, he was human now – why would I be scared of human Remus? Maybe, I supposed, if he were transformed and chasing me I might be scared – but truthfully there wasn't even any fear of that happening inside me. I mean what were the odds of that happening anyway? I didn't know what my reaction was. Was it worry for my friend who always put everyone else first? Was it pity? Was it anger that he didn't feel he could trust me with this secret? Or was it plain embarrassment that I hadn't seen through any of his excuses. Bunny flu – Merlin! Like Remus Lupin would own a bloody rabbit as a pet anyway. And why would the Professors let him go home to tend to it even if it was a supposedly rabid bunny? The more I remembered the poorly executed reasons for his persistent absences, the more shocked I felt that more people hadn't figured it out. I suppose his association with the more ostentatious boys in our year hid him in plain sight.

"I'm confused," I finally said.

"Merlin Kate – how can you make even this complicated?" Sirius groaned.

"Don't talk to me like that!" I barked. "I want to know what you meant by you've obliviated me before!"

They exchanged more looks and I shrieked in exasperation.

"Stop trying to come up with more lies! Just tell me!"

"Sirius," James said, jumping up from his chair and ushering me into it. I sat stiffly and glared up at him. He winced and looked back at Sirius. "Sirius, you have to tell her."

"No…Remus should," Sirius said looking uncharacteristically nervous.

"What?"

The four of us jumped and turned our stare to the bed, where Remus was trying to sit up with a look of horror across his scarred face. His eyes were fixed on me and his mouth was bobbling open.

"She knows," Peter said and Remus stiffened and stopped moving.

He fell back against his pillows, his eyes looking wild. Part of me wanted to feed him water through a straw and ask him to lie back down, but I still hadn't had all of my questions answered. He stared at his friends and croaked the next question painfully.

"How?"

"She was asking questions last night and pretended to be ill so she could be here," Sirius explained. "You mixed up excuses."

"You told her it was lad's night and told Gemma you were ill and then they got to talking today…" James added.

"How do you know what Gemma and I talked about?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Lily told us."

"Lily knows?" I gasped and they let out a collective wince.

"Wait," Remus said softly. "So you know I'm a…a…"

"I know you're a werewolf," I said in a no nonsense voice. "And now I want to know why you obliviated the knowledge out of me last year."

His mouth fell open again and he looked petrified, utterly lost for words.

"He didn't do it," James said quickly, backing away from me as my head snapped in his direction.

"I did it," Sirius said.

"Why?"

"Too many people knew already. We didn't…" He hesitated and rubbed his eyes again. "We didn't think. We just acted."

"Other people know?" I asked, sufficiently distracted. Was I the only one who didn't know?

Remus swallowed and replied in a small voice. "Last year, d'you remember all those rumours about Snape and the Whomping Willow tunnel?"

Snape? What did he have to do with this? Well I guess that explained how Lily knew.

"When you saved him from whatever's down there?" I said, nodding at James.

"I was down there," Remus said before James could respond. "Transformed."

"And I was the one who told him to go there," Sirius said brashly.

"Sirius…" I shook my head. How could he? What was he thinking?

"You can save the lectures – I've heard it from this lot a million times."

"And we're over it," Remus said sternly and Sirius gave him a close-lipped half smile.

"So Snape knew…and that made you think somehow me knowing was going to be bad?" I said in disbelief, drawing the conversation back to the main point.

"Like we said," James said softly. "We didn't think."

I frowned, looking at each of their faces in turn. Everyone was focused on Remus and Remus only had eyes for me.

"I don't get it," I said, looking away from him towards the windows. The sun was coming up, but the sky was still a pale grey.

"Okay," Sirius said, getting up and standing in my line of sight. I didn't move my gaze to acknowledge he was speaking, though I nodded vaguely to show I was listening.

"Do you remember when you got knocked out by a Bludger last year?" he asked.

I nodded even though that day was very hazy. I only remembered parts of it – the parts that had been explained to me after I'd regained consciousness. I hadn't even thought about it since – the whole day had been a wash.

"It was before you were friends with any of us except Remus, remember?" Peter added. "You were coming back to talk to him after Quidditch practice and got hit unconscious by a stray Bludger."

"Yeah, I remember," I said, squinting. "At least what people told me."

"We thought you'd gone with the others after Practice," James said. "Everyone had cleared off and the four of us were discussing the full moon. We didn't think anyone was around, so we were talking freely."

"And then you came back. Probably to invite Remus to write one of your songs or something," Sirius said in a tough voice. "And you walked up to us and before we'd realized – you'd heard."

"Your expression," Remus said tightly. "It was…"

"It was horrible," Sirius provided. "Worse than now. And I didn't think – I just pulled out my wand and did it."

Finally, I looked away from the window to narrow my eyes at him. "And then you hit me with a bludger for good measure?"

"No!" Sirius exclaimed. "That's just what we told people. I hadn't done a memory charm before – it worked a little strangely. It wiped most of your memory of that day."

I averted my eyes again and sighed.

"Remus regretted it most," James said. "He didn't want you to know, but he didn't want to hurt you either. But it just…it worked out all right. Until now."

I wet my lips and flexed my jaw. Something horrible was bubbling inside me.

I cleared my throat and swallowed as I stood up and brushed off my pajamas.

"Are you okay?" I asked Remus, turning my full attention to him.

His eyebrows flew up and the crease in his forehead dimpled.

"I…what? Yeah. Madam Pomfrey is used to this," he said, his eyes searching my face.

"Good," I said, before methodically turning to Sirius. "You."

He sighed and gave me a little nod, like he was ready to accept his punishment.

"Never talk to me again," I said, pointing my index finger at him.

"Kate," James protested.

"In fact, none of you," I interrupted. "None of you talk to me again."

"Come on Kate," Sirius pleaded.

"No! This is…this is beyond! Beyond anything I could have expected from you. This is unforgivable. You could be expelled for this," I hissed.

"Oh like you haven't done things you could be expelled for," Sirius snapped back.

"Stop," Remus muttered."

I couldn't look at him.

"I would never take someone's memory away. No matter your reasons – you took away my choice in having the truth about my friend. You didn't get to make that decision. Fine! Fine, keep your secrets – but if you get found out, deal with it! I lost a whole day! I couldn't remember a thing!"

"Kate." Remus sounded breathless now, and though I couldn't see him, I watched James move to check he was okay.

"Come on!" Sirius retorted. "It's not as if the memory loss bothered you until now. And it's not like you have the most photographic of memories anyway."

"I can't believe I ever went out with you," I said and Sirius gave me the eye roll he used whenever he thought I was being dramatic. But I was sure I wasn't overreacting this time and anyway, it wasn't really him I felt hurt by at that very moment.

"And you," I continued, looking at Remus tearfully. My vision was blurry and I couldn't see his exact expression.

"Were you afraid I'd think you were a monster? Me? What would make you think I couldn't be allowed to know the truth? Did you think I was so untrustworthy that you'd let him take the memory away from me altogether?"

My words hung in the air for a long time before Remus spoke. There was something different about his expression and it wasn't just due to the scar across his face.

"Well, is it any wonder?" he said quietly.

"What?"

"Look at you," he said slightly louder. "You can't even come within a foot of me. You can't even look me in the eyes. Of course I didn't want you to know! I get it – the truth changes everything – but I thought you'd at least show a little compassion. Is it a big surprise I wanted to keep it a secret – weren't you happier not knowing?"

"Moony…" James put in, but I cut over him furiously.

"If I'd known you'd taken the memory of it away, I wouldn't have been happy!" I snapped. "I don't want to come within a foot of you because I'm scared I'll hurt you! And if you think I can't look at you because you're a werewolf, not only are you missing the point, then you clearly don't know me as well as I thought you did."

He laughed and the bitterness made him look foreign to me. The other boys were watching tensely, their eyes darting between the two of us so fast I felt dizzy.

"Oh there you go, make it about you. I know exactly what you're thinking – 'oh Remus didn't tell me, he must not consider me a friend!' Look, there is no one – no one – in this room, who regrets you having no memory of that day more than me."

I took a step back, feeling the air pull away from my lungs in one swoop.

"Well that's rich – you're happy I didn't know but somehow you regret me forgetting that day? Why's that? What else are you hiding, Remus?"

We glared at each other for a long moment, before he turned his head and folded his arms over his chest. His fists were clenched and the muscle in his jaw was bouncing.

When I was sure he wasn't going to say anything else, I just shook my head and turned away from them, pushing through the curtain, wiping away the tears and trying to block out the sound Remus made from his bed as he swore loudly.

"How could you let this happen?" he roared at his friends and the hurt in his voice stabbed needles right into my chest. There was some loud metallic banging and scrambling sounds of movement from behind the curtains.

"Moony, stop. You're messing with your Healing spell!"

"Wormtail, get Pomfrey!"

"Katherine? What's going on?"

I pushed past the bewildered matron and shoved the double doors of the Hospital Wing open and made my way back to the dormitory without stopping.

"Kate? Oh Merlin – thank goodness. I woke up in the middle of the night and you weren't here. I panicked!" Lily said, throwing her arms around me when I arrived in the dormitory. Dorcas was still sound asleep and I looked at the clock for the first time in hours - just past six. I let myself hang limply in Lily's embrace and after a minute, she backed away looking confused.

"Are you all right? What–"

"Don't talk to me."

"What?" she said. "What's going on?"

"You knew," I said in a low and determined voice. "And you didn't tell me."

"Kate? What are you talking about?" she said, running her hands through her hair. "What didn't I tell you?"

"About Remus," I whispered, glancing at Dorcas to make sure she was still out.

Lily inhaled sharply and took another step back, recognition flooding her face. "You found out that he's…"

"Yes," I said curtly.

"Kate," she said, reaching over to touch my arm. I pulled it away roughly and she looked even more confused.

"Come on Kate! It wasn't my secret to tell."

"But you helped them cover it up? Telling them that I was on to their secret – my conversation with Gemma…"

"Well yes!" she exclaimed. "He didn't want anyone to know. It's not personal…I just, I found out from Severus and then Potter ambushed me last year and told me I couldn't tell a soul and of course I couldn't. It's a serious thing – Remus has the right to tell and not tell anyone he wants."

"Oh, so you think he has the right to wipe someone's memory when they let it slip?" I shot back angrily.

"What?" she asked, her face scrunching in confusion. I let out a tiny sigh of relief. She obviously hadn't known about the memory charm. I sighed again and touched her arm and her expression relaxed a little.

"Apparently I found out last year, but they obliviated me," I said dully.

"What?!" she exclaimed. "What? I had no idea."

"Me either," I said, collapsing on to the bed. "How could they? What did they think I was going to do? Spread it around? Try and hurt Remus? I just don't get it."

She nodded, still breathing heavily as she sat beside me. "Godric. I didn't think they would go to those kind of extremes."

"Yeah. Guess who did the honours as well? My charming ex-boyfriend."

"Wow Kate…I don't know what to say," Lily sighed, biting her lip. "They must have felt desperate last year or something – it was an impulse."

"So they say," I replied. "It's not a good enough explanation. And now I'm just so confused. It's one thing to find out your friend is a -" I lowered my voice even though Dorcas was still snoring. "A werewolf, but it's another to find out that you already knew it and they took the memory from you. I can't even look at them."

"Try to understand," Lily said gently. "Outside of the lads, your opinion is the one that means the most to Remus. He was probably terrified of what you would think."

I shook my head. "Even if we weren't as close at the time – he knew me well enough to know I wouldn't think any less of him. I'm so stuck and I feel like a horrible friend for being so angry when he's all mangled, but I just can't believe they were so scared of me knowing. Remember the amnesia day because of the Bludger last year – that was it."

Lily exhaled loudly. "Wow. You can't remember anything from that day."

"Yeah. And something tells me, I still don't have the whole story," I mumbled into my pillow.

Remus didn't come back to Gryffindor Tower until late Sunday night and the days in between were spent avoiding the Marauders and their attempts at apologies and explanations. After I'd walked away from Sirius for the third time, Peter tried his luck after lunch on Saturday. He caught us just as we were leaving and stood awkwardly waiting for Dorcas and Lily to carry on. Since Dorcas was the only one not in on the secret, Lily steered her away and left me to lean against a wall and look at Peter expectantly.

"Kate, you can't tell anyone," he said in a hushed voice.

I shook my head and started walking away without a word. It was incredible how dim these boys were. Did they really think I was going to tell someone? It was absurd.

"Wait!" Peter called, grabbing my arm and grimacing when I wrenched it free and glared at him. "Kate, look I know it's a lot to take in. But none of this is his fault."

I raised an eyebrow and put my hands on my hips. "Are you referring to his condition or the fact that you lot took it upon yourselves to steal the memory of that whole day from me?"

Peter scratched his head. "Er…both?"

I sighed and kept walking. "I told you not to talk to me. So don't."

James had his turn on Sunday when Lily and I were working on our essays for Essay Week. Since Dorcas wasn't reading and since, truthfully, she was rather jealous, she'd gone off to the Library while we chose to spend the time in the Common Room. We were supposed to be reworking our essays to sound more speech like, but I was having serious difficulties. The opening lines had initially compared Boggarts to ex-boyfriends, but the more I tried to rework it, the more it became a saga of betrayal and it really wasn't relevant enough at all. In fact, if it hadn't been borderline ridiculous before I began reworking it, then it was surely a pile of steaming dung by the time James pulled up a chair and joined us.

"Working on Essay Week stuff?" He asked, resting his chin on the back of the chair. I flipped some hair over my shoulder and scribbled out another sentence and I heard Lily and James sigh in unison. If I hadn't been so annoyed, I might have found it funny that the two of them were getting along now that everyone else was at odds.

"Yeah," Lily replied. "It's such a pain - I'm crap at public speaking and writing a speech is so different from an essay. How's it going with Transfiguration?"

James chuckled. "I started it and then gave up - I reckon I'll just wing it."

"Only you," Lily replied with a hint of surprising fondness. I had to look up at that and wasn't disappointed to see James looking hilariously googly-eyed. But then he turned back to me and I scowled.

"Kate," he pleaded. "You've got to let this one go. He feels awful. You know how he is - he thinks you hate him because of what he is."

I glared at him in disbelief. "And did you encourage that theory or did you use your common sense and tell him that it is clearly not about that!?"

James looked uncomfortable, but nodded. "Yeah, we tried."

"Look, I think I have a right to be upset about this and it's only making me angrier with you and Peter ushering around trying to make sure I don't spread it around!" I whispered irritably. "When you can tell me why it was so important to keep it from me and not from Snape or even Lily, then maybe I'll stop being furious."

"Come on Kate, it's different. We didn't know if we could trust you."

"Oh, that's sorted then!" I said, slamming my book shut. "Why don't you save time worrying and just wipe my memory again? Maybe I'll forget I have to read at Essay Week along with that whole day of Fifth Year I don't remember. Tell me James, what else are you all hiding?"

James sighed and cracked his neck. "I can't tell you. Remus could…or Sirius, but it's not…look, I can't."

"Goodbye James," I said, unceremoniously grabbing my things and stomping off to some free sofas to continue my work.

It wasn't quite out of earshot though, because I could still hear James and Lily's conversation.

"Evans, you've got to talk to her," he said. "It's tearing him up."

"I have tried Potter, but honestly I agree with her - that was a pretty extreme reaction you lot had. Especially considering all I got was a 'keep your mouth shut', " Lily replied.

"Yeah, but she knows now. It's not personal."

"It is though - especially because it's Remus!" Lily sighed.

"How d'you mean?"

"Well Remus is the one who always believes in her - doesn't think she's a loudmouth or untrustworthy or anything. I guess it hurts her to find out that he might have the same opinion as a lot of other people."

"Bollocks. I bloody hate this," James groaned. "It's all been effed up since Christmas. With Dorcas, and between Sirius and Kate – and now she and Remus are arguing, the last link between our two groups is done for."

"Well," Lily said. "There's you and me."

Even I had to look back to see if those words had actually come out of her mouth and I saw that James was staring at her in the same jaw drop fashion as I was.

"Me and you?" he asked in a strained voice.

"Well we're friends now aren't we?"

Wowwwwwww.

"Er– yeah, we are," James said, glancing at me as if to check that someone else was hearing this. Though I felt an automatic need to nod at him, I remembered I was annoyed and looked away.

"So, we'll bridge the gap until Remus and Kate work it out," Lily said with a light, nervous laugh.

"Yeah…okay, yeah. Let's do that," James said and I could hear his beaming.

"Okay wipe that ridiculous look off your face!" Lily said with another laugh. "I'm going to go over there."

When she joined me, everything in me wanted to let go of my anger and tease her, but then Remus entered the Common Room. His face had been healed completely – there was no trace of a scar and although he wore a bandage on his forearm, it was discreet. He very deliberately walked past me without a word and settled down with his friends looking angrier than I felt.

"Boggarts," I wrote. "They're like finding out your best friend doesn't trust you."

A/N: Please don't hate me for having Remus and Kate fight, I promise there's a reason for the madness! Thanks for reading everyone!