The Living Games

A/N Hello darlings! I just realized how long it's been since I've updated! I hadn't realized it, so I am very sorry. And if it needs to be said, *CURSE WORDS BEWARE* But really, do I have to say it? This story is rated T only because of the language, and, well, it's the hunger games. People die. In brutal ways. *says causally* Oh, maybe my friends are right. I need help. Oh well.

And this is the longest chapter you've seen from me. He he. I didn't split this one up, though. It's 5,350 exactly without the A/N!

Do I need a disclaimer? I've never felt urged to put one, only because this site is for fanfiction . . . So why put one? Only if I quote part of a book or something.

AND ALSO!

There is a tiny part in this chapter where abuse is mentioned, so if that makes you uncomfortable just read until you get to another A/N.

Chapter Five: Sorry Not Sorry

It was Tuesday, a school day. If the old Aubrey's sister had gotten reaped, she would've faked being sick and cried in her room. But that day, she was feeling confident. She went to school in one of the three new outfits her mother bought her, ready to face the world head on. No more hiding. If Bronc, or Payton, or anyone else wanted to mess with her, she would stand her ground. She was done being a little punk. She didn't care who saw her and Zane together, since it wasn't a law that they couldn't date, and she needed all the comfort she could get for the next week or so, depending on how far her sister made it in the Games.

When she finally left the house, she saw many pitiful looks thrown her ways. She just turned her nose up at them.

Aubrey walked into the hallway, and was actually surprised to see Bronc and Payton making out in a corner. There was a rumor that they were dating, but there was also a rumor that she was pregnant, so she payed no mind to them. She almost laughed when Payton looked at her and made a noise in her throat. Aubrey waved at them and made her way down the hallway with a bounce in her step. She saw Zane by himself leaning up against a locker. He was looking at an old book the school gave them to study. It was about the coal mines. She walked up to him and he still didn't notice. She softly closed the book and he finally looked at her with fear and questioning in his grey eyes.

"Aubrey," Zane started. "What are you—"

"Shh." Aubrey put her fingers on his lips. "It's not a law that we can't be seen together. And, I need you at home and school. I got my family to not hate you after they saw and heard our little . . . conversation last night."

Zane blushed and looked both ways down the hallway. Payton and Bronc were the only people in the hallway, still kissing.

"Are you sure?"

Aubrey grabbed him by his collar and kissed him, thinking that was a good enough answer. She didn't care about the stupid rules that the Merchants made up, she needed him, and she wasn't about to let Payton tell her what to do, or how to live her life.

Zane smiled into their kiss. He had jumped on page with Aubrey.

Aubrey pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "I won't let anyone else decide our life. Our future. No one but you, and me."

"You're amazing, you know. And I told you, you are blazing."

Aubrey found that funny. "I would have never done this if I had never met you."

He rolled his eyes. "You always have been, you've just never let other people see."

Aubrey stuck her tongue out at him.

"Well, look who it is." They both turned around to see Bronc standing there with a grin plastered on his face and Payton trying to look confident. Emphasis on trying.

"For as long as anyone can remember, the Seam and Town kids have disliked each other. Sure, some Merchants still married off with Seam men, but look where they are now. Poor and starving. We just want to prevent that. We want everyone to know that rules are rules, and you don't break the rules when we're the ones enforcing them." Payton grabbed a lock of Aubrey's hair. "And you, well, you've never been worth much anyway, so you'd probably end up in the Seam on your own."

Aubrey was not happy.

This girl, this stupid, bratty, snobby Merchant girl was trying to tell about that she was worthless. Before, she might've cried. She let things get to her too easily. But now, she was done with all this nonsense.

She grabbed Payton's hand and threw it away from her.

"Don't touch me."

Payton look intrigued.

"Hm, looks like the mouse wants to fight back, huh?"

"You know what they say. When the cat's away, the mice will play."

She put her face close to Aubrey's.

"Then I suggest you run. Because the cat's still here, sweetheart."

Okay, maybe Aubrey should've walked away. Maybe she should've called someone. Maybe she should've just jumped in one of the lockers. But she couldn't. For once in her life, she just couldn't back down. She couldn't let Payton win—she couldn't stand to see the satisfaction on her face. So she did the only logical thing her brain could think of.

She punched Payton square in the face.

It was a sloppy punch, and Aubrey's knuckles hurt so bad afterward, but seeing Payton stumble backwards and fall on the ground clutching her nose—it just stirred something inside of her. She wanted to do it again. She wanted to see Payton at her mercy and begging on her knees.

Whoa, what had gotten into her?

Bronc snapped his eyes toward Aubrey.

"You did not just hit my girlfriend!"

"Your girl—?"

Aubrey cut Zane off.

"She was taunting me and asking for it. Next time, tell her to keep the fuck out of my personal space."

Bronc's whole face turned an ugly shade of red, and he charged at her.

Her good 'ol boyfriend Zane met him halfway held him down, while Payton screamed and kicked at the floor.

"My nose! Somebody call the nurse! Ow!"

Bronc had accidentally kicked her in the head.

"Alright, buddy boy, calm down before I have to punch you. And you don't want me to punch you." Zane was kneeling on the ground, holding down a struggling Bronc.

"You touch me and I'll have you hanged!"

Zane rolled his eyes.

"Why? So the whole district can know you're a 'lil bitch?" Zane slammed Bronc back on the ground when he tried to get up. "You either stop or I'll shove my foot up your ass and make you sing opera."

Bronc finally stopped struggling, and Aubrey walked over to Payton.

Aubrey looked at Bronc who had been let up, and Payton, who was still screaming. She was aware of Bronc coming towards her.

She whirled around. "Get the fuck back. I'm taking her to the nurse."

"I can." He glared at her.

"No, you can't. You can't even even defend yourself against a 15 year old, so shut up." She saw him clench his lips together, and Zane smirk.

She lifted Payton by her arms and dragged her down the hallway. Zane didn't move. "Aren't you coming? And you too," Aubrey nodded her chin at Bronc.

She pulled Payton down the empty hallways with Zane and Bronc trailing behind her. When they walked in the room, the nurse gasped and asked how it happened.

She quickly said, "She ran into a pole, clumsy her," before Payton could say anything, and glared at her.

She grabbed Zane and Bronc, pulling them out of the room.

"A pole?" Zane raised his eyebrows then laughed.

"Yes." It was all she could come up with on the spot, adding the fact that she didn't really care what the nurse thought.

"There are no poles in the school that I am aware of."

"Shut up." She nudged Zane. "And you," she was referring to Bronc. "You better keep this between us if you know what's good for you." She grabbed Zane's hand and pulled him down the hallway, then started to run. The bell had rung and everyone was heading to class. They ran hand in hand through clusters of kids who parted for them.

They ended up in a small closet.

Aubrey was very stressed about what had just happened, and she wanted to relax.

Aubrey pushed a broom out of her face and straddled Zane's waist.

"If anyone asks why we're late, say we were helping Payton," she said, right before she pressed her lips up against his.

They stayed in that closet for the whole first period, which was about an hour. They laughed softly, talked in whispers, and shared many kisses. When they finally left the closet when no one was around, they sneaked into their classes, and, surprisingly, no one knew they were missing. Aubrey smiled the whole day, and couldn't seem to wipe the smile off her face no matter how hard she tried, even when she got home. She told her mom she was going to meet a friend, and her mother just nodded at her.

She finally got to see Zane in the woods again. It had felt like forever since they had been in the woods, a place where no one would be there to watch them be themselves. Aubrey was still sad about Arianna's absence, but she had to think positive about her sister going into the games, because if she didn't, she would be sitting in a corner crying her eyes out.

As Aubrey slid under the fence, she heard a weird noise. It sounded like . . . something, no, someone was talking.

Aubrey quietly stepped behind a tree, and turned towards the noise. She could see two people in the distance. It looked like a women and Zane. But that women . . . she just looked so familiar to Aubrey. Had she seen her at the Reaping? Had she met her during a past Reaping. Aubrey saw the big basket in her hand, and it suddenly clicked. That was the woman who helped her out the first time she tried to slip under the fence!

Aubrey moved over to another tree to hear what they were saying.

"—Merchants? No way. I know my feelings for them have changed, but once I realized how truly horrible they were, there was no way I was about to give that girl a thing." Aubrey couldn't believe that women was saying those things, considering how nice she was to Aubrey all those years ago.

"But ma! You just cost us a couple coins! I don't care if she was a Merchant," Zane looked angry. His face was flushed and his voice was low but serious. "It's still money. You know we need all the help we can get."

"Okay, okay! Just don't think I'm going to like those evil, dirty Merchants!" If Aubrey had never met Payton, she might have been offended.

"Not all Merchants are like that, ma." She knew Zane was talking about her, and the thought stirred her stomach up.

"Well, it doesn't matter. Most of them are. Goodbye, and don't forget to check for Peacekeepers." Zane's mother hugged him and walked through the forest.

Aubrey waited until the coast was clear, then wrapped her arms around Zane from behind.

He practically jumped out of his skin.

"Aubrey!" he screamed.

"The one and only," Aubrey laughed when she saw his shocked face.

"You scared the . . . Geez, how long have you been here?"

Aubrey decided he didn't need to know everything. "Mmm, I just got here." She turned Zane around in her arms and kissed his cheek.

"So," Aubrey wanted to make the most of the day with him. "What are we doing today?"

"Mmm . . . we're going to . . . I just thought . . . we should . . . to avoid any . . . Aubrey, stop it! I can't focus on what I'm thinking with you doing that," Aubrey put her hands up and stopped kissing his neck. "Anyway, since your sister went into the games, I started to think that the same could happen to you." Ugh. Aubrey didn't need reminding. It was already bad enough knowing her sister was gone, and it was hard trying to stay positive all of the time.

"So you're saying . . . ?"

"I'm saying, we should prepare you for the games. You know, teach you to hunt, walk quietly, all of the basic skills. I saw today you have potential with hand-to-hand combat, but the careers are better. Any skills you're good at?" The careers were what they called Districts 1, 2, 4.

Aubrey didn't want to spend her day training, but she had no choice. "I'm pretty good with a knife. And annoying people."

"Pretty good won't make you a Victor if the Careers are excellent, as they usually are. Show me how "pretty good" you are." Aubrey didn't even bother to point out the fact that what he said wasn't correct grammar. Zane handed her a knife out of his bag, and she held it in her hands. The only time she had thrown a knife was when she was angry, so she didn't know if she would be able to do it while she was happy. "Well?"

"Umm . . . I've never thrown a knife 'just because'. I've only thrown one when my parents were fighting, or when they were making me mad, which was most of the time." She really wanted Zane to comfort her, but she knew that this wasn't sweet fifteen year old Zane. It was games trainer, doesn't take shit from anyone, Zane. It was all the Capitols fault, and oh, were they going to pay. Aubrey put a menacing grin on her face, gripped the knife, and threw it at the tree. Zane had squashed berries into a dye of some sort, and the tree now had a target on it.

It landed somewhere near the middle.

"Wow. I didn't even have to get you worked up. But you do have anger issues." For a second, just a little second, her Zane was back.

"Yeah, well, thinking of the Capitols downfall makes me happy, ya' know?" Aubrey knew her Zane was long gone again, but it was nice to see him for a second.

"Alright, not bad, but you can't always be mad to throw the knife. you won't always be mad in the arena."

"How much ya' wanna bet?" Aubrey knew she was not going to be happy in the arena. Oh no. She would be pissed as hell if she actually went into the arena. She would get so worked up, she might blow the damn Arena and everyone in it up. She actually hoped that's what Arianna would do, but she doubted it. It wasn't even possible, right?

For the rest of the day, they practiced skills Zane thought might come in handy in the arena, like knife throwing, plant identification, running, and mostly survival skills. Aubrey got her Zane back a few times, especially when they practiced running and she beat him every single time.

Aubrey walked home sore, but she felt a little better when Zane said that they'd meet again tomorrow, even though she knew that they would be training. She felt a whole lot better when he kissed her goodbye and lingered around a couple extra seconds to look at her. He said he was memorizing her so he would miss her a little less.

Needless to say, Aubrey went home a very, very happy girl that night.

• • •

Aubrey woke up in the morning, yawned, and held onto the brief, delicious feeling of happiness, somehow associated with Zane. She knew it wouldn't last long.

Today was the opening ceremonies, the chariot rides, the day her older sister would be put on a chariot with a horse, have overly extravagant makeup, and look like a fucking idiot. Aubrey couldn't even believe all of the stupid things the Capitol wore. Between her district escort Kerri Klark and what she had seen on television, they looked like brightly painted llamas. She already knew they would throw Arianna into a stupid coal miner outfit, and she wouldn't get sponsors.

Aubrey snapped out of her fantasy world and got ready for school.

When Aubrey got to school, she was surprised to see Payton and Bronc together. She had thought Payton was in the hospital or something. Payton had a huge white bandage on her nose. Aubrey had to fight down a smile.

"Still don't feel bad, do you?"

She jumped out of her skin when she heard Zane's voice behind her, and felt his arms wrap around her waist.

"Oh my gosh, Zane!" She was still trying to control her out of control beating heart as she turned to face Zane, but it wasn't only beating fast because he just scared the crap out of her.

He laughed. "Sorry, it's a hunter thing. Being a quiet walker."

"Well, you have to teach me that. So one day I can sneak up on Payton, and," Aubrey made a strangling motion.

She was very, very lucky Zane understood her, or else he would think she was a crazy bitch. Well, she was a crazy bitch, but maybe he would think she had a couple thousand screws loose.

"You could breathe and she'd scream and say you stabbed her," Zane told her while shrugging. "And to think, I thought she would make your life hell."

"Trust me," Aubrey said while smirking. "She would know if I was stabbing her, alright," Aubrey said while clasping her hands together and running her fingers up and down her hands.

Zane laughed so hard, that he bent over like Aubrey had kicked him in the crotch again. What? He didn't think about her reflexes when he sneaked up on her during training, so he technically brought it on himself.

"I'm so lucky to have you. You're one of the only people who understands me."

"Am I the number one person?"

"No. Arianna is the number one person, then you," Aubrey deadpanned.

"Aw man! Why can't I be number one?"

"Don't worry," Aubrey reassured him. "You'll always be the number one boyfriend."

"Are you implying that you have others?"

Aubrey shrugged. "If that's how you interpret that."

Zane frowned and said, "Then I guess I'll have to win you over."

Aubrey was about to ask what that meant before he placed a soft kiss on her neck.

Aubrey gasped out in shock and shoved him away.

"We're in school! Save that for later."

She was blushing like crazy and her neck was tingling from where Zane's lips touched her.

Zane smirked and winked at her. Then he proceeded to nuzzle her neck instead.

Aubrey smiled warmly as he nuzzled his nose against hers.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Aubrey looked away from Zane, only to see Payton, and like, ten other girls standing behind her with nasty looks on their faces. What the hell was Payton planning? Did she really think that this pathetic group of Merchant girls, who would scream and cry if you spilled water on their shoes, would do something that could physically hurt her?

"Wow, your wittle mommy must've sold your whole house to get you that outfit."

Okay, she she was going for mentally.

Good luck.

"And your mommy will have to sell her house to buy enough makeup to cover up what I'll do to you if you don't shut up."

If Aubrey knew how to do one thing, it was annoy the hell out of everyone around her. She didn't have a lot of people who hate her for no reason.

"Please, like you could touch me if you tried."

"Have you forgotten yesterday already?" She could see Payton getting flustered under her six layers of makeup.

"Watch your back, Aubrey."

All of her Merchant friends looked pissed as they whipped their hair and walked away

Her and Zane high-fived.

"I really didn't think she had the balls to come up to you and say those things to you," Zane said while smiling.

"Well, apparently she does. But those balls won't last long, I'll bet you. I may not look like much, but all those years of being pushed around sure did pay off. I feel like I could beat anybody up, now."

"Not me right?" Zane said as he grabbed her hand.

"Just because I like you doesn't mean I still won't kick your ass," Aubrey said.

Oh, how she adored Zane. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she did. She never really wanted love. She didn't cast it out completely, but she didn't want it. She would take it if it came, and it had come. She had been so scared to love, so scared that her relationship would turn out like her parents' did. Her mom had to constantly remind her dad to stop drinking, not that he ever listened. They would yell when he was sober, which was almost never, and Aubrey just got so angry when he would yell, with his words slurred, that she sometimes had to walk out of the house and go to the meadow. It was a wide space with lots of green plants and flowers. It would calm her every time she went there. She would run her hands through the soft, green grass and feel alright. When it was winter, she would just throw snowballs at Merchant's windows until they almost saw her.

But now, her father had started to drink even more. He would spend most of the day passed out or hungover, and Aubrey hated it.

• • •

Coming home from school was depressing. She had wanted to go to the woods with Zane, but he had to go with his brother to help his grandmother. It was a wonder she was still alive, with all of the stuff she had been through. She was alive during the dark days, and would tell stories to Zane, and he would repeat them to her.

She smiled.

"Hey, look at you! Actually smiling. The world must be ending."

Aubrey turned to the right to see Zane's brother walking with her.

"Yeah, cue the fireballs," Aubrey said.

They had met a couple of times in the woods when Aubrey first met Zane. Joshua was nice enough, but also very sarcastic and snarky. He was also asexual and aromantic.

"It's not too often that you smile around me," Josh smirked.

"Like you give me much of a reason to."

"Hey! I'll have you know, I am very funny. You can ask Zane."

Aubrey sighed when she heard his name. All sorts of feelings came up when she heard his name, but affection and longing were winning out in the competition for her attention.

She frowned. "Aren't you supposed to be with him?"

"Oh, there goes that smile. What was that, 5 seconds? That must be a record."

Aubrey scoffed. "I'll have you know, I laughed, yes I said laughed, for three minutes straight."

"And when was this?"

"When I looked at your face for the first time," Aubrey joked.

"Ha, ha."

"Fine," She rolled her eyes. "When I was with Zane."

"Of course. You're all he talks about. He won't ever shut up! It's kind of annoying, you know."

"I'm never annoy . . . Okay, never mind." She thought about what happened with Payton before class started.

"Glad you finally realized. Now, as much as my presence warms you, I have to go see my grandmother before Zane kills me for being late."

He turned and walked off.

Aubrey smiled a little. His presence was comforting. It was like an older, snarkier version of Zane, and she had a feeling they would become great friends.

The rest of the walk home was silent. She didn't encounter anyone, but she did see the pity in their eyes.

Idiots.

When she entered her house, she could feel the tension in the air. She looked towards the sound of yelling and knew why.

Her parents were fighting. And it was bad.

That's really saying something.

It was making her angry very quickly. He was being a weak bitch and wasting away his life while the rest of them were dealing with it. He claimed he was doing it for Arianna, that she told him to do it, but she knew he was lying.

"—to die!" she heard her mother yell.

"You don't know that! When has District twelve ever had a Victor? Never," her father yelled back.

Aubrey was surprised he could talk.

"So? She could be the first."

"Yeah, very likely," he sneered.

Aubrey decided she had had enough. Ever since the Reaping, she had been trying to stay calm and happy. Zane was a big part of being able to do that. Her father just made it harder. And now, she was done.

"Shut up! Shut the hell up! you have no idea what she is capable of! All you've done your whole life is sit around drunk! You wouldn't even remember her name if I hadn't told you! You couldn't tell me what my name was if your life depended on it! Do you even know how old you are?

"We have been poor since before I was born, and you still decide to spend all of our money on alcohol. You're the stupidest, shittiest father anyone could ever have. You make up excuses for your drinking, and you're just a bitch! You heard the rumors right? Oh, no. Right. You haven't. People say I fuck old men for our Merchant position! Do you believe it? Because I feel like you would."

Aubrey's father just stared at her. She saw a lot of emotions flash across his face. Surprise. Sorrow. Realization. Anger. A lot of anger. Aubrey felt like she should clear out before one of them exploded from anger, or her parents registered that she just cursed multiple times.

(A/N Alirght, Kiddos. This is where what I mention in the first A/N comes up. Don't worry, it's nothing much, just like four sentences. And he misses, anyway.)

All her life, Aubrey always kept her thoughts about the way her father lived her life inside her head. She couldn't afford to address it, or something might happen. Something bad.

He reached out and angered hand and made a move to slap Aubrey across her face.

Her father had never been the abusive type, and had never lied a hand on any of them before.

Never.

She heard her mother's gasp as his hand passed over her head. He was drunk, so his hand-eye coordination was questionable at the least. She couldn't believe it. For once, her father was the first one to boil over with anger.

(A/N Hey. You can continue to read now.)

He was about to see a whole different side of her. Aubrey never had any positive thoughts about him, only when she was young and oblivious. He had never helped them, had never cared. So why should she care now?

Somewhere in her mind, she was being reminded that he was family. But family didn't hurt each other on purpose time and time again, mentally or physically.

Ohana might mean family, but that didn't mean she had to love him.

She saw the regret fill his eyes, but she wasn't really the forgiving type. She felt heartless at the moment, like her heart had suddenly turned to ice.

Aubrey pushed him back and watched as he stumbled onto the floor. She walked over to his alcohol stash and stared throwing every bottle on the ground. The sound of glass shattering was the only thing she could hear, and it was oddly comforting.

For every bottle she smashed, she thought of what she hated about him.

His stupid ways.

Smash!

His stupid excuses.

Smash!

His stupid carelessness.

Smash!

Aubrey looked at the floor after the last bottle was smashed. It was littered with glass and liquids ranging in colors. The stench of alcohol filled the air, and it made Aubrey wrinkle her nose in disgust.

Aubrey looked over at her parents. They were just standing there, looking at her. Neither of them had tried to stop her. Her father was looking down at the floor, crying.

Cry bitch, cry.

Aubrey tried to gain control of whatever sanity she had left, and decided to high tail it out of there before she did anything she might regret.

She ran to the meadow as fast as she could and fell down onto the grass. She just lied there on her back, her hands clasped together on her stomach, and her legs straight out.

She didn't know how long she stayed out there for. All she knew was it had been a few hours since she left. She didn't know if she would go back. If she could go back.

It was dark when he found her.

"Aubrey? What are you doing out here so late?" Zane was leaning over her.

She jumped up so quickly she knocked him over when she tackled him in a hug.

"Oh, Zane! Today—I messed up. I don't know what—My dad . . ." Aubrey let the tears that formed in her eyes flow down her face. She could feel again now that Zane was there holding her.

"What happened? Shh, just take it slow," Zane said softly. He sat up and pulled her onto his lap.

"I-I was walking home, and I ran into your brother." She told Zane everything that happened, and she started crying when she told him what she had done to her father's stash. Zane just hugged her closer to him, and whispered calming things into her ear.

"It's okay, Aubrey. He deserved it and it'll help him now. If he tries to touch you again, find me so I can beat the shit out of him for touching my girl. But don't worry, it'll all be okay." She wanted desperately to believe Zane, but how could she?

"How? How do you know?"

"Because things always find a way. I'll help you through anything."

Aubrey was extremely grateful to have him. He was everything she needed, whenever she needed it.

She needed to know something.

"How did you know I has here?"

"I went to your house to see you, and they said you left. I knew you wouldn't be in the woods at this time of the day without me. So I came here. Looks like I was right."

"Oh . . . well, I'd better be getting back. Thank you, for everything. And I do mean everything."

Aubrey really didn't want to let go of him and go back to her house alone, but she knew she needed to. She had already missed the opening ceremonies, and didn't want to face her father after what had happened.

"Oh, I don't want to let you go." Zane held her tighter.

"Then don't ever let me go. I mean it."

"I know you do."

Aubrey smirked. "I won't punch you if you make me happy when I leave."

"That's impossible. To make you happy when you're leaving me."

"Exactly the point."

"You just love torturing me, don't you?"

"I do."

Zane smiled and brought his lips down to hers. The kiss started out sweet, but then turned slow and deep. Aubrey held onto the memory of his lips for as long as she could. They kissed until they had to come up for air.

"What the hell was that? I said make me happy, not wanting more," Aubrey said while smiling.

"Exactly the point," Zane said while turning around to go home.

She glared at his back as he walked away.

She started the walk home, dreading what she would find when she got there.