Scrawling in her notebook, Alex flipped the page and then looked back up at the computer screen. Locating Trigon hadn't been easy. He was obviously biding his time and likely plotting something huge, but Alex swore she'd found something. A location. Or at least she thought it was the location of where he was, which was halfway around the world...and Alex had no idea what he was doing. She didn't have every resource that she had had at the DEO, but she definitely had resources.

"Doctor Danvers."

Her head shot up and she smiled when she saw that it wasn't one of the people who worked there at Lord Technologies. Instead it was a visitor that she didn't expect, a familiar face that she hadn't seen so recently. Getting up, she closed her notebook and moved to greet her visitor.

"Benanti," she greeted with a hug, since the other agent was more of a hugger than anything else. To be honest, Alex couldn't be happier to see her friend in that moment and she could really use a hug too. "You didn't happen to bring donuts, did you?" she half teased before pulling back to beam at Lara.

"Alice said that you'd have to come to her for them, something about how she wasn't going to step into this dominion of Trekkie-techie-masters-in-white-coats-professors."

"Not that I'm not happy to see you here, but you have to have a reason to stop by," Alex prompted.

Benanti gave a quick nod, still beaming. She actually looked like she might break apart at the seams with sunshine, the only other person Alex knew with that super power was her sister. "So, this is actually sort of like a covert mission."

"Covert?"

"Well, I know the DEO is supposed to be covert," Benanti said with a wave of her hand. "But the boss doesn't know I'm here."

"He didn't send you?"

"Nope," Benanti said and made herself comfortable in the couch in Alex's office. "This thing is comfy!"

Alex was confused and it took her a moment to really take that in. She moved to Benanti and sat down across from her. "Then who sent you?"

"Your family…"

Now Alex was even more confused. Her mouth opened to say something, but she couldn't figure out exactly what to say to that. She motioned towards outside of her office, towards the innards of the building (since her parents were both in one of the science labs together). "My mom and-"

"Well, your other family…"

Alex still didn't know how to react to that-

"Geez, Alex!" Benanti said throwing her hands up in the air. "You've been playing civilian for too long already!" She scooted forward on the couch, her elbows on her knees, and leaned forward as if she were trying to tell Alex a secret. "You know...me, Alice, and Susan...I mean, David was concerned too...but it was more of a grunt of 'duh, obviously you couldn't stop playing agent'."

"What. Are. You. Talking. About?"

"You don't think that the rest of us missed the fact that you're still looking into Trigon?"

Crap.

"Yeah, so...I'm here to tell you that you better knock it off," Lara told her. "We haven't brought the boss into this...yet...but no matter what role you play in life, we're always going to be your family. We're going to have your back, but this...I know what he did, Alex...I was there...and I know you lost a lot...but if Trigon's going to be found and apprehended...or anything else...then it's going to be us together." Lara paused for a moment. "What does your sister say about together?"

"Stronger together?"

"Yeah, but she has some Kryptonite phrase that she was trying to teach Charlie."

Alex smiled at that. She also found that she missed Charlie Benanti, who was a brilliant ball of light and reminded them all exactly why they did what they did. "El-may-arah."

"Right," Benanti said as she got to her feet. "El-mayo-aura." She clapped her hands together and Alex had to bite her bottom lip to keep from correcting Benanti. She'd just mentally note the slaughtering of the House of El's motto to tell Kara later. "Now!" Benanti announced. "I expect that you'll stop chasing Trigon."

"No," she said without another thought.

Benanti's eyes immediately snapped to hers, cold and collected. It was a side of Lara Benanti that you never wanted to be on. "Excuse me?" she questioned. No more was she the cheery ball of sunshine, this was the kickass and what could be fightening version of Benanti.

"I can't."

"You can...and you will."

"No, I won't," Alex said quietly. "I can't just forget what happened...what Trigon did-"

"Are you honestly asking me to take you in right now?"

"I'm asking you to trust me."

"Funny," Benanti commented. "That's what I asked you to do like two minutes ago…"

"Lara-"

"The boss'll have to know now," Benanti told her with a sigh. "You know, there's a pool going for how long this whole civilian thing would last… I'm pretty sure that the boss just won the entire thing."

"Can you please just not give me the disappointed face?"

"I actually had hope that you could get out of this life," Benanti told her. "You finally had an 'out', something you didn't have your entire life." She shrugged. "I mean, you're good as an agent, but you have so much more to give to the world...and you deserve to be out there and happy, Alex...you deserve to have a future."

All her life, she'd fought disappointment and maybe it was because she was feeling so lost and undecided in that moment, but Alex hated to disappoint anyone she cared about...and she cared about Benanti. "You know, growing up...I was an only child and besides my parents' work...I was their world." She took in a shaky breath. "When Kara came to live with us, my world sort of turned upside down...and I didn't really like having this weird sister who was afraid of the popcorn maker or was completely enamored with birds...and as much resentment as I have lived with over the years… It's giving up something that drives me...that I'm damn good at...something that I can use my entire skillset, not just the one that requires the lab coat."

"You belong out there in the world."

"We all do," she said with a shrug. "Isn't that why we do what we do? So we can live in a safe world? A world where Charlie can grow up without fear?"

"Kara called-"

Alex actually dropped her head onto her arm, which was lying across her desk. "Whatever she said-"

"She said that she's worried about you," Eliza stated. "So, naturally...we're worried…"

"Alex, what's going on?" Jeremiah questioned gently.

Breathe.

She bounced her head against her arm a few times trying to think about how she was going to say and what she was going to do now that obviously word was getting around that she was still pursuing Trigon (and from a civilian front). Alex wasn't going to lie to her parents and it was clear from the tones of their voices that they were concerned for her. Blowing out a heavy breath, she pushed herself up in her seat and looked over at her parents. "It's nothing, really… We need to prepare for the board meeting today."

"Alex-"

Closing her eyes, she held up a hand. "Please? Can we just focus on the board meeting? This is our one chance."

They were quiet.

"Okay," her father finally spoke up.

It was dropped.

At least for now.

"You're not going to wear that though, right?" her mother asked in a very motherly judging tone.

Alex found herself smiling. "Apparently not." She had time to change. There was actually plenty of time between now and the board meeting. This board meeting could completely change her life...their lives...the entire company. Alex knew that she had to do everything she could to give them the advantage (even if it was something that Alex felt like shouldn't matter).

"Not a blazer and pants either," her mother went on.

Crap.

"A dress."

Alex made a face at that. "Really?"

"It would look more...polished," Jeremiah put out there.

"They do know that clothing choices doesn't have anything to do with the science, right?"

"No," her mother said. "That said, you have nothing suitable in your closet."

Going out and buying a dress for this event was something that Alex refused to do...for various reasons (including how absolutely stressful the whole shopping process for especially clothes that weren't black was for her). "I know where I can get a dress-"

"An acceptable dress?"

"The DEO has a closet that I can borrow from," Alex told her mother hoping that that would be enough. It was also going to give her the chance to find out exactly what Benanti had told J'onn and how much crap was going to hit the fan. "Prim and proper is what we're going for, right?"

"It doesn't have to be like a high collar or anything, Alex-"

"Are you trying to tell me that cleavage wouldn't be frowned upon?" Alex questioned quickly. She was a little surprised to hear her mother saying that, if she was understanding her correctly. Her mother shrugged and Alex let out a surprised and amused huff. "I thought we were going for polished and not perpetuate that women are just a pretty face and breasts."

"Whoa," Jeremiah said immediately, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation, before turning around.

"It's fine for me to look nice, but they need to understand that I know what I'm talking about...and they need to respect me."

"They're just going to be concerned with the profits," her mother reminded. "You know that."

Alex didn't want to keep thinking that. Maybe it was just because of her sister's optimism that was rubbing off on her more than normal. "Maybe I'm and always be the optimist, the hoper of far-flung hopes, and the dreamer of improbable dreams."

"That sounds like a quote…" her father said slowly, his back still to them.

"It's from 'Doctor Who'," Eliza said with a sigh. Maybe it was because her mother knew she was right. "We'll catch you up, don't worry…" Her mother's attention was back to her suddenly. "Do you want me to come with you to pick out the dress?"

"Absolutely not," Alex managed to say without a beat between.

"Come on, Eliza...let's give Alex some space," Jeremiah said. "When she's ready to tell us whatever is going on...she'll talk to us."

"Have you met our daughters?" Eliza questioned, but went with Jeremiah.

Alex just watched them go and sucked in a breath before looking down at her cell phone. No missed calls. No missed messages. No one had tried to contact her from the DEO since Benanti had left. Obviously Kara had heard something though. Alex was nervous, but she knew that this was something that had to be done and she was hoping that being in the DEO would calm her nerves a bit.

She'd gone on all kinds of ops and faced death...but the board meeting was far more frightening. Picking up the phone, she started to text J'onn. It was a simple text telling him that she was coming in to borrow a dress because she had a big board meeting that evening. Alex knew that J'onn wouldn't care, though he'd probably point out that the whole part of a trial separation of her life options didn't mean borrowing from the closet of the other option. As she set the phone down, it chimed and she found herself smiling just at his response that he'd see her soon.

God, she'd missed him.

She'd missed the DEO.

She'd missed the people.

She'd missed it all…

Walking back into the DEO after being gone, even if it really hadn't been that long, it was a little like coming home. It brought her so much comfort and there was a place inside of her that felt like it sighed a little. She looked around and nodded at a few people, smiling a little more the further she got into the DEO.

"DANVERS!"

And she was almost immediately hugged to the ground by Benanti. She'd just seen Benanti hours before and she'd been not pleased with her...but suddenly it seemed like Lara was bouncy and cheery. She patted at the other woman's arm, sort of in shock that she wasn't being drug to J'onn's office in that moment or glared at.

"What are you doing here?" Benanti questioned a mile a minute. She looped her arm through Alex's and started walking. "Is it because you missed us? Because we missed you!"

It was like walking into the Twilight Zone and Alex wasn't sure what to think about it. "Uh...sure," she said, still completely confused as to what was going on. "So, I need a dress for the board meeting...big important board meeting...and I figured the boss wouldn't mind me borrowing from the closet."

"Dress shopping?!" Benanti practically exploded. She steered her in the direction of the DEO's

'closet'. It was practically a wing all of its own, but it was necessary with the amount of people they had and all of the possible covers that they all took.

"I'm just putting it out there right now, despite the fact that my mom thinks it might help me, I'd rather it be classy and not so much cleavage," Alex stated firmly.

"Got it, modest with the boobs," Benanti said quickly. They entered the 'closet' and Alex found herself unlinked as Benanti went off and started to go through racks of clothing.

She knew that there was no need for her to actually be an active member of the search for the perfect dress, so she sat down and just watched Benanti busy herself. Besides, Alex knew that this was something that Benanti really liked doing. Someone sat beside her and suddenly a donut was held out in front of her. Alex happily took the offering and bit into it. She savoured it for a moment before looking over at Adler. "How are things?"

"We all know," Adler told her.

"Know what?"

"You know, you're really bad at playing dumb, Danvers," she said with a sigh. "Sometimes you make me question how you became a DEO agent in the first place."

"Kind," Alex said before taking another bite.

The two of them watched Benanti for a few minutes in silence, just eating their respective donuts. "You know, I really can't blame you," Adler said. "I don't know how you haven't come back here before now. Being a civilian would absolutely drive me insane. I was a cop before, but that's basically the same as being an agent. Doing what you're doing...it's so...disconnected from this life." There was a beat. "Though, I guess that's the point."

"Apparently."

"How's it working out for you?"

"Well, you know already."

"That's true, but I haven't heard from you...how you feel it's going."

"Life freaking outside of here is terrifying as a civilian," Alex said. "All I keep thinking about is what's happening around the world. What is Kara doing? That I could be here helping to keep her safe...keeping people safe… That there's something more I should be doing… And I have no intel now, so I have no idea if something the size of Fort Rozz is going to fall from the sky and flatten us on Tuesday."

"I think that kind of thing tends to happen on Mondays."

Alex just smiled in response. She sighed and looked towards Benanti who seemed to be studying between two dresses. Alex wasn't very fond of either. That didn't matter, though, what mattered was looking polished and professional. It meant appearing a certain way, even though that didn't really have anything to do with what was in her brain or what her intellect was capable. She was playing her role in the big game. That was it.

"Are you going to see the boss before you leave?" Adler questioned.

"I don't know."

"He misses you."

"No-"

"He's grumpy when you're not around."

Alex sighed, she knew that that was true. He got grumpy when she wasn't around or when she'd been hurt. He was the same way with Kara. "We're all adjusting, right?"

"He can adjust a little faster…"

"Okay! I have it!" Benanti proclaimed. A dress was presented before her and Alex wished it was black, but she was thankful that it was a dark color. There was some comfort for Alex in dark colors. "What do you think?"

"I think it's my sister's color."

Benanti gave a wave of dismissal at Alex's comment. "The color is just fine. What about the dress?" There was a beat. "I know it's not black and that it's not DEO standard field issue…" She obviously sensed what was coming.

"It's simple."

"Well, we can dress it up-"

"No," Alex said. "I like simple." The capped sleeve dress was navy blue with a 'v' slit down the front that was just enough, it had simple delicate features that added to the femininity of the simple design that was obviously meant to show off curves, and the length looked like it fell to right above the knee. It was modest and yet not to the point where it was just way too long. It was bad enough Alex was going to have to wear this thing at all.

"Are you going to stick around so that I can help you get ready?"

"Uh-"

"So, yes? Great!" Benanti said cheerfully.

Alex looked over to Adler, who just sympathetically handed her another donut. She knew she was going to have to fit into that form fitting dress, but another donut in between really wasn't going to do anything more than maybe make the whole thing a little easier for her to handle.

It had been something like a Cinderella moment (or at least that was how Benanti had described it). It wasn't like she hadn't dressed herself up before, but it wasn't something that Alex enjoyed. It was definitely something that Benanti found happiness in, so Alex had just given in. It was just easier that way...and the outcome was perfect. The dress was just right and Benanti had dressed it up with just a couple of things to make it less 'boring' and then they'd moved on to hair and make-up.

Sitting in the 'closet' area alone, Alex was just taking in that she still had time before she needed to leave and head to the board meeting. She was hating the idea of having to leave at all. The board meeting was absolutely no motivation for her to move from where she was sitting. She knew she wouldn't starve because Adler would likely be around with another donut before too long.

"You're going to be fine."

"What if I don't want it to be?" she questioned as she looked in the direction the voice was coming from. J'onn moved towards her, a concerned look on his face. Alex knew that she was supposed to be giving this a fair try and to not be self-sabotaging, but being there in the DEO had made her miss it all the more.

"It still will be," J'onn assured before taking a seat next to her. He stared at her. "You're brilliant, Alex. If I hadn't recruited you...this is what you'd be doing…"

"I wouldn't be CEO-"

"Maybe not, but you'd still be doing work that would be touching the lives of people," J'onn said. "You'd still want to make the world a better place."

Sometimes it was hard to think of her life like that. "I don't know if I ever was truly programmed to be able to live a life like my parents...lab rats…"

He smiled at that. "No, I think you always craved adventure...even before Kara came crashing down from the sky."

Kara.

"I miss you both…" she whispered as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I don't even get to see Kara hardly at all now…"

"I miss you...we both miss you," he told her. "But life is still figuring out a rhythm for all of us."

"I miss the DEO. I miss this life, J'onn."

"Are you really ready to give up on Lord Technologies today? Are you ready to give up Max's legacy? To hand over the company to someone else? To leave the possibility of a normal life?"

"Let's be honest, even working at Lord Tech as the CEO, there is basically never going to be a time where I have a normal life," Alex told him. "Not with my family."

"Alex-"

"I miss the action, though," she pushed. "I miss being out there hunting down alien threats and being side by side with my sister...with you...with everyone." And what she needed to do felt so clear in that moment.

"What about the board meeting?"

She still had to go. "I'll do my presentation and hope for the best," Alex explained. "But that doesn't mean that I choose to keep doing that over the DEO."

"A trial period-"

"Isn't there some kind of clause that says I can cancel my trial period at any time?"

He just grinned at that.

"No?"

"Just a little longer, Alex."

She sighed. It would feel like another lifetime. "Okay."

"I'll be here, though, if you need me."

"And I'll just be a call away."

TBC…