Hello, I'm back! This is kinda late, but I've been really uninspired lately. And kinda depressed too, but school has that effect on people.

This had strayed way far from my intended plot when I first started, but I don't think it's all that bad. I like it, actually. I like your reviews too, and I'd love to hear more from you!

And valery-chan, thank you for liking my story. I'll try my best not to disappoint you.

I hope you like this!

Chapter Twelve: Death by Fangirls

There are three things that terrified the future boss of Vongola, which, when exploited could potentially ruin the entire Famiglia.

Number one is Reborn. Pre-school sized hit man with a yellow pacifier and an unhealthy obsession with ridiculous costumes. Danger level over 9000.

Need I say more?

Number two is paperwork. This is the bane of his existence, and the cause of 80% of his (and his Guardians') regular nightmares.

Number three are, stupid as it may sound, girls.

Specifically, girls that have a huge deal of admiration for him, and his Guardians. Girls that shamelessly invade his personal space and steal his clothes, coffee cup, and pillow sheets for the sake of love.

In a word, fangirls.

He's especially terrified of fangirls that steal his clothes and attack his lips while holding whips, guns, and sometimes syringes.

Honestly, all his enemies had to do was send an army of deranged girls after him and none of his Guardians would be able to fight back. They'd be too busy running away with their dignity then.

A certain Rain Arcobaleno is close to being the third in his list, but truthfully, there isn't any soldier in the world that could make Tsuna run with his tail behind his legs, naked and crying, the way those vultures often did.

It was official, Osamu had lost his mind. He had to. I mean, because it couldn't possibly be Dame-Tsuna - that clumsy, no good and abysmally stupid classmate of theirs since pre-school - that was being approached by the three hot Italian chicks that just came in, right?

Right?

So, Osamu could only be hallucinating, dreaming, high, anything!

Because there's just no way...

The hot ladies smiled - at Dame-Tsuna! - and clung to his arms like, like leeches.

Osamu promptly fainted.

Tsuna wished he could faint too. Unfortunately, his body which had suffered and survived through years of Reborn Style torture, er, tutoring, wouldn't recognize the smooth skin touching his arms, and other places, as horror worth fainting too.

Tsuna really, really wished he could faint.

Behind her, his Guardians - the traitors - were inching farther away, until they were back inside the elevator (Hibari had ran off to somewhere, biting people to death for the smallest infractions) and Tsuna was left alone with three of the most dangerous women in the world. Weren't they supposed to protect me? Sadly, it seemed their survival instincts came in stronger than their resolve to protect their boss.

Besides, the trembling boys reasoned, he's stronger than us, anyway.

He could take care of himself. Probably.

Tsuna tried hard to be polite. It wouldn't do to offend the daughters of one of their important allies. However, the pair of bouncing, springy breasts pressed against his arms, coupled by the hundreds of eyes set on him at the moment, made it hard to simply even breathe at all. He could hear the whispers of his schoolmates, wondering incredulously who the triplets were, and why they were clinging onto Dame-Tsuna, of all people, like that.

No one seemed to notice the SOS signals the red-faced boy was sending.

"Um, why don't we take this somewhere, uh, quiet?" Tsuna said, but moments later, he wished could take it back when he felt the deadly aura coming off in waves from a startled Haru, who wasn't dragged into the elevator.

The stare swapped between the twins spelled bad news.

Tsuna really needed to work on his diplomatic skills.

And Haru...

Oh, my God. I'm going to die!

And he nearly did, at that.

Somehow or other, Tsuna found himself inside his office with a Valeria, Gloria and Mariela in tow. He was flopped down his couch for some reason, and then he was attacked.

"Pleasure to meet you, Decimo-chan," said a childish voice in weird sounding Japanese from Tsuna's right arm. "My name is Mariela! Let's get along shall we?"

No, let's not, Tsuna was tempted to say but settled with a simple, "Nice to meet you, too."

From his other arm, a shrill yell resounded. "Yo, Decimo. Gloria." It was the other one, who looked like a cross between a witch and a delinquent...the one with the hundcuff.

Tsuna tensed. "Uh, hello."

From in front of them, the only one who hadn't come at him aggressively, said, "I'm Valeria. We're all daughters of the 4th Boss of the Grandioso Famiglia. Dad sends his regards." She gave him a look that was filled with mirth.

Glad someone's getting some fun out of this, at least, Tsuna's subconscious sassed.

"Um," Tsuna cleared his throat and forced the stutter out of his voice, "So, what brings the daughters of Grandioso here?" His voice came out smooth and silky and confident, the way he usually sounded in meetings. Three pairs of eyes sparked.

Valeria smiled lazily, "Why, to greet you, of course."

And they pounced.

In Valeria's mind, Tsuna was an easy prey, and he usually was when he wasn't fighting for his life. Anyone could see the kindness in the Decimo's eyes, and everyone knows he was as gentlemanly as a gentleman could get.

He never hurt girls. And he had a soft spot for children.

Only unless they hurt someone close to him, of course, but this was enough of a weakness for other families to exploit. The Grandioso weren't a bloody family, and they certainly weren't enemies of Vongola, but even they recognized the Decimo's kindness as a fatal weakness. They were rather glad to see him grow some bones the past few years.

He still didn't hurt girls though.

(Reason: They terrified him.)

So when the triplets all but took his virginity, Tsuna was helpless in defending himself. He fended off attacks in, uh, uncharted places, but he couldn't possibly stop six arms and three lips at the same time, right?

And they were girls! Girls that had more death count than he had and had hidden knives, handcuffs, and guns somewhere in their bodies, but girls nonetheless.

There was nothing he could do!

He hoped Haru believed him, at least.

If she didn't...

His Guardians better prepare.

Valeria watched as a small teenage girl with long dark hair tied up in a ponytail crashed into the Decimo's office, looking certifiably livid. She was leaking copious amounts of killing intent, one that was so potent it made even Valeria wince before she recovered.

Good, but not enough.

She followed the girls hands as they reached to her pockets and pulled out a pair of silver Walther PPK/.22 handguns and pointed them at her and her sisters.

She smirked when she saw her hands tremble. Amateur.

"Ara, Decimo-chan, there's an ugly alien pointing a gun at us!" Mariela said.

The dark aura from the girl intensified, and, much to Valeria and her sisters' surprise, fired twice, shooting Valeria's right shoulder and Mariela's ankle before any of them could even react.

"Oho?" Gloria eyed the girl interestedly, going to fight mode.

None of them noticed the half-dead Decimo on the couch.

Haru seethed her teeth at the sight of her future husband laying disgruntled on the couch, taking note of the number of hickeys he had on his body, and the number of buttons undone.

"Thirteen," she counted. "Thirteen hickeys, seven buttons off."

Neither Valeria nor her sisters had any time to scream before the monster that was Haru pounced on them.

No amount of training could have prepared them for that.

Needless to say, Reborn was proud. And there were five life-sized frozen statues in the suite that night used by Reborn and Haru for target practice.

Tsuna just cried.