A/N: I am HORRIBLE.

Never trust me again. If I say I'll update in a week, I'm most likely lying. But this time I actually have a reason other than laziness: my adapter for my laptop broke, so I was forced to use the dinosaur computer we have. It was SO HARD to type on that damn thing, so eventually I gave up; it didn't help when weeks came and went and then the dinosaur computer BROKE. Just today, August 3rd, I finally got the adapter, so I promise I'll write all day today and tomorrow because I know you guys have been dying for an update. I made this chapter especially long for you guys, so here's a treat until the next update (Whenever that is.)

Seriously, though, guys, if you want an update, find a way to contact me. Shoot me a PM on here, leave a review, or send me a message on my tumblr account (queen-sallyjackson). I'm on Tumblr a lot, so that's a definite way to get in touch with me if you want to scream at me for late updates.

But seriously Big Time Rush ended the other week and I just can't I've been with them since I was 11 and both of my shows ended and I just can'ttttt

v v v

"Mate, relax. Everything's going to be fine. Nina's tough!" Mick attempted to persuade me as his football game blasted from the telly. A few minutes ago, I had ringed Mick and told him how worried I was about Nina and all the hate she was getting on social websites. It had only been a few days since the photograph of us at the park had been taken, but rumors were swirling; and I could have sworn I saw our faces on the local news before Rosie turned the channel off.

"No, you don't understand!" I protested, pushing myself off the couch. "I know she's tough, obviously, but everyone has a breaking point. Fans can be cruel, and unfortunately there's nothing I can do about it. What if Nina sees all the hate and mean things people are saying about her — all because of a photograph, may I add — and...like...leaves?" I grabbed my hair as I paced the room, looking at the brown hardwood floor.

Mick narrowed his eyes, turning the volume of the television a little bit lower. "Fabian, are you suggestion that you think Nina might kill—"

"Yes, I am suggesting that," I muttered, sitting down next to Mick again. I buried my head in my hands, ashamed to look up.

"Don't think like that!" He commanded, placing his hand on my shoulder before I could continue. "I haven't seen Nina all that much, nor have I spoken to her or know how she's like. But from what you've told me in these past two months, she's the toughest girl I know and I barely even know her." He took a deep breath. "Nina will, obviously, see the hate on her, but I don't think it will affect her. She won't kill herself."

"Look, I know it may sound stupid," I muttered through my hands, still reluctant to look up and face the truth. "But a couple of nights ago, I had a bad dream that Nina committed suicide when she was pregnant, killing herself and the baby..."

Mick was silent, so I continued. "I know that didn't happen and that it was just a dream, but what if it did? I wasn't in Nina's life when she was pregnant. If . . . if she actually did kill herself . . . I wouldn't have known her. Emma wouldn't exist. I wouldn't have a daughter..."

After waiting a minute, Mick sighed. "Fabian, I have no idea how you must feel. I'm not famous. I'm not the one in the photograph with the mother of my child and I'm not the one who had to lie to the whole world about the girl I'm in love with."

"Hey, I'm not in love with—"

"Fabian, don't try to deny it," Mick laughed, sitting back against the couch to relax, like this whole conversation didn't affect him at all. "I haven't seen you two together but I can tell, and I'm the one that's 'hopeless' when it comes to love, according to Amber."

I glanced over at Mick, and he was smirking. "Is it really that obvious?" I muttered, and Mick, who was already smirking, chuckled.

"Mate, Amber's known it since the day you first said her name. I don't know how — and one thing I learned when I was dating Amber was to never question her — but you should stop denying it. You've told me before that you want to initiate a relationship with her, so go for it."

I blinked. "Mick, do you really think starting a relationship with her at this time is a good idea?"

"Yeah, you're right," he said suddenly, and I closed my eyes for a second. "Have you gotten in touch with her?" Mick asked, and I shook my head. Nina wouldn't answer my IM's yesterday, so I was alone all night. I had ignored my sisters; all of them tried to question me about what happened with Nina before the photograph and what had happened in the two and a half months we had known each other.

"Well, Fabian, you have to do something about your relationship with Nina. People are starting to suspect about you two — I saw someone on Twitter who thought that you two were dating and another one who thought you two were a family. You need to do something about it, Fabian. Denying her in public — which was a really shitty move, by the way — wasn't enough."

"I know — I just —" Mick waited for me to continue, so I took a deep breath and tried again. "I have to protect her."

v v v

Hey! You'd be out of school by now, so...Happy Halloween! Are you going out with Eddie and Mara? [sent Oct.31, 3:32 pm]
Unread by Nina Martin

Well, you haven't answered me...you're either out w/ your friends or ignoring me... [sent Oct.31, 9:47 pm]
Unread by Nina Martin

Hey, how are you? We haven't talked in a day or two...what's up? Are you alright? [sent Nov.1, 5:54 pm]
Unread by Nina Martin

Hmmm...I wonder what's up with Nina and why she isn't answering me...? [sent Nov.2, 8:23 am]
Unread by Nina Martin

You're out of school again...and you still haven't answered me...are you mad at me? Seriously, Nina... [sent Nov.2, 2:45 pm]
Unread by Nina Martin

I'm getting worried now. If you don't respond by tomorrow, I'm coming to your house. I'm worried about you, Nina. Are you still mad at me? We need to work things out; we're a family now, remember? We have Emma...I'm a father...I told you I needed to take responsibility and that's what I'm doing so where on Earth are you? [sent Nov.2, 7:56 pm]
Unread by Nina Martin

I'm scared for you now. Please answer back: I just need to know you're okay. [sent Nov.3, 6:30 am]
Unread by Nina Martin

.

When she still didn't respond, that's when I took action. I didn't know what to do — she might have been kidnapped, for all I knew — so I gathered a whole rucksack full of random things: bandages, granola bars, torches, et cetera. I was well prepared, at least, for the rescue but definitely not the fight.

I parked my grey car in front of her house and slammed the door shut. My heart was pounding, not knowing what I was expecting, but as I walked on the dewy lawn, I heard a noise from inside the house. I couldn't help noticing that my car was the only one in front of her house; usually, her grandmother's car was in front. Nina didn't have her driver's license yet; she was pregnant with Emma when she could have taken it and she chose not to, so her grandmother was the only one with a car, and her grandmother's car was not in the driveway.

I took a deep breath when I reached the house. There was definitely sounds coming from inside; was her grandmother just getting milk and Nina was on the phone with Eddie or Mara? Was it the sound of Nina's scream as a psycho rapist tortured her for information on me?

I knew it was my paranoia, but after the theory that she might have been tortured because of me, I reached for the key under the mat and unlocked the door.

"Nina?" I called out, but no one answered. When I stepped inside the doorway, I identified the sound as crying; I didn't know who was crying, but the sobs sounded guiltier instead of upset.

I held my breath as I walked further in. My heart was pounding out of my chest; in the past few months, I had only known Nina as the strong teen mother who didn't let anything shake or break her. I didn't know what I would do if she was the one crying. "Oh, it's okay..." I muttered, mostly to myself, but when I saw the truth about who was crying, I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders.

It wasn't Nina, after all. It was Mara who was crying; she was standing up, pacing the kitchen back and forth. Eddie was there, also: he was trying to get Mara to calm down. Not knowing what I was doing, I put my back against the wall and listened in. If my dream was coming true —... if Nina actually did commit suicide —

"Mara, calm yourself down!" Eddie yelled once Mara's sobs had increased in volume. "It was just a plate! No one is going to be mad at you! Relax!"

I was so happy to hear that Mara was crying because she had broken a plate and not because her best friend had killed herself. A huge weight had just been lifted off my shoulders and my chest didn't feel so heavy anymore.

"It looked expensive!" Mara was trying to argue back. I closed my eyes in guilt; I had broken a plate in this house a few weeks prior, when I was over seeing Nina and Emma, and no one had gotten angry or exasperated. I wanted to help Mara because if she was Nina's friend, she'd know that she wouldn't be angry; but Eddie beat me to it.

"Shh..." he attempted to calm her down, but even though I wasn't looking at them, I could clearly hear that Eddie was holding himself back from laughing. "It's going to be fine. I'll try to convince them not to murder you." Eddie started laughing at his own joke (It was scary how different I was from him but at the same time so similar). "That is, if we know where they went...I haven't heard from Nina in twenty-four hours..."

"You haven't?" Mara sniffled; she had apparently stopped crying. "Why? You're best friends."

"Yeah, I know, which is why that's weird..." he mused. I heard footsteps from the other side of the wall, and I knew Eddie was pacing too. "Well, whatever, I guess. I'll call her again."

"Daddy!" a voice said from below; I looked down to see my daughter tugging at my pant leg. The kitchen had suddenly become quiet after that; had Eddie and Mara heard Emma? Did they know I was here?

I motioned for Emma to be quiet by putting a finger over my lips. I didn't know why my daughter was here, alone, without her mother, but I didn't dwell on that too much; the world had just been shoved back on my shoulders. I didn't know what I would do if Eddie and Mara saw me.

Eddie and I had exchanged numbers a few weeks prior so I could stay in touch if anything happened — he called me when Eddie and Mara had brought Nina to the hospital because his girlfriend had punched her nose — I didn't feel any better because he said the fight was because of me. I understood why Eddie wouldn't give me Nina's number, but I was still mad about the fact that the mother of my child refused to stay in touch with me. It would be so much easier if I had her number so I could call her on her mobile phone instead of chatting with her over a computer screen.

Unfortunately the two-year-old Emma didn't understand by gesture. "Daddy!" she exclaimed, ruining my life. "Hi!"

"Hi," I muttered, trying to be a good father and quiet at the same time so Eddie and Mara didn't know I was here. I heart footsteps approaching the spot where I stood and I knew that they would see me.

"Daddy! Hi!" Emma exclaimed, and I knew I was a goner when the footsteps stopped. I cringed, feeling Emma's grip on my pant leg tighten, and groaned when I heard a voice say, "Hello, Fabian."

I opened one eye to see Eddie with his hands on his hips.

"Hey!" I greeted. "What's up? Haven't seen you guys in a while…" I attempted to change the subject from me, so when I saw Mara hiding behind Eddie again, I said, "Mara, it's fine. I don't know why you're so afraid of me, but I'm not going to bite you. In fact, I think I bite myself most of the time…"

I saw Mara laugh behind the boy, but Eddie wasn't finished. "Fabian, what are you doing here?"

I shrugged, picking Emma up and holding her in my arms. "Same as you, I guess. Looking for Nina. She hasn't answered me since I met you guys in the hospital."

"Really?" Eddie widened his eyes. "Hm. I would've thought that she'd want to talk to you after everything that happened…"

"'Everything that happened'?" I questioned, and this time Eddie was the one to cringe and hide. "Seriously, guys. What happened? Was it bad? Oh, God, was it because of me and the photograph? Did your girlfriend a fan of mine and punched Nina's nose because of the photograph?"

"Well, actually, my girlfriend's best friend is a fan of yours, but that doesn't really matter," Eddie explained, starting to back behind Mara. I heard him mutter "Oh, that wasn't a good idea to say" before he clearly enunciated, "Yes, it was because of you. A lot of people were looking and pointing at her, teasing and making fun of her. I thought she would want to talk to you because you're Emma's father, but I guess not..."

I sighed. I knew perfectly well why Nina didn't want to talk to me: it would be too painful. The reason she was being bullied was because of me so it would too emotional to talk to me. After only two and a half months, I already knew Nina like the back of my hand. I didn't know where she'd go off too.

"Did you notice that her grandmother's car isn't in the driveway?" I questioned, and Eddie nodded.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Ugh, Fabian, you're right, that woman is a mystery. I don't know how you can talk to her every day without wanting to wring her neck. Alright, we'll have to look for clues as to where she went. Fabian, you look in the common room, I'll look in the kitchen and Mara will look in Nina's room. Now look!"

I set Emma down on the rug when I reached the common room. There wasn't much in that room; a fireplace, mantel, two couches and a china case. I checked under the couch cushions and brushed some dust off the mantel, but there was nothing there that shouldn't be. Sighing, I grabbed Emma from where she was resting on the sofa and onto my lap.

"So I know you can't speak that well..." I muttered, brushing a strand of Emma's light-brown hair out of her face to see her eyes; the eyes that were the same shade as mine. "Seeming as you're only two. But I know your birthday now! May 25th, 2010! You'll be three years old in...six months...so you're officially two and a half.

"God...I was a cunt back then...WAIT!" I exclaimed, realizing I had said a bad word. "Emma, don't you ever say that word. Okay? Ever. Don't ever use bad words or Daddy won't be happy with you." My eyes looked into another pair of the same color. "Comprende?"

Emma didn't say anything.

"Figures, you don't speak Spanish..." I laughed in spite of myself. "Did you know that Mommy is stupid? Yes. She is very stupid. She took off without any sort of word to any of us and I don't even know why she left you here...yeah...speaking of which, why did Nina leave you here?"

"Nina?" Emma questioned, her small eyes narrowing. I knew she couldn't ask a proper question just yet, but I knew what she was asking.

"Yeah, Mommy's real name is Nina, just like my real name is Fabian," I attempted to explain, even though there was a small part of me that knew Emma didn't fully understand. "But since you're only two you can't start calling Mommy by her real name until, you, like...ever. You can't call Mommy by her name ever."

Emma laughed, and that made me feel a little bit better about this whole situation; but at the same time I was scared shitless. I had never, not even once, been alone with my daughter before. What if I messed things up? I was already ranting and Emma, inside her little head, probably wouldn't even remember this day when she was a teenager. Hopefully, by the time Emma begins her teenage years, my fame will have died out and I'll be around Nina much more. Maybe I'd even propose to her one day and we could start a family as a married couple and we could tell our thirteen-year-old daughter and unborn son in 2023 the story of how I got Nina pregnant in the summer of 2009 and how I found her in 2012 and we started this weird-ass relationship that wasn't friends but wasn't a couple.

"Oh, man..." I muttered, mostly to myself, but I was positive that Emma could hear as well. "You're gonna grow up one day...you're gonna be this rebellious teenager that dates this biker dude, and I'm going to despise that kid but you'll see him in secret...Emma, I'm going to tell you this now. Don't make the mistake Mommy and I made when we were teenagers. Don't become a teen mother. No sex until you...pass away."

"Oh, yeah, that's a great time to have it," a voice said. For a horrifying second, I thought it was my two-year-old daughter, but then I realized that Eddie was standing in the doorway.

"Oh, Eddie, it's just you," I breathed, standing up. "I didn't find any clues. You?" Eddie shook his head sadly, but just at that moment, Mara came sprinting down the hall so fast I was surprised she didn't fall down and crack her skull open.

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD EDDIE LOOK AT THIS EDDIE LOOK AT THIS!" she exclaimed, holding out a piece of paper for Eddie to see. I walked over to where they stood, looking over their shoulder at the piece of paper.

It read:

To Eddie, Mara, Fabian, or whoever else is reading this:
Don't worry about me. Seriously, don't worry.
I'm fine. I was just getting sick of all the laughing, pointing, and teasing at school; not to mention all the hate I was getting on Twitter. It was getting out of hand. It was all because I was in a photo with Fabian, which was absolutely ridiculous.
Anyway, I'm fine, so don't think I was kidnapped or killed or something. I'm with my Gran. I don't want to tell you where we are, because then you'll come looking for me, and I want to be alone for now, just me and my thoughts. I'll be gone for two weeks.
Obviously I'm going to miss school, so Eddie, could you tell the teachers I'm going back to the United States to see a funeral for my great aunt? That's the lie we made up.
And Mara, please don't freak out. I still have my phone with me so you can call and text me BUT DO NOT GIVE FABIAN MY NUMBER WHATEVER YOU DO OR I WILL COME BACK AND KICK YOUR ASSES.
I left Emma, though. I couldn't take her with me, because then me and Gran would have to buy food for another person and we'd be carrying a toddler, so it would be hard. Fabian, I'm trusting you with your daughter. She's not just my child anymore, she's yours too. Maybe you and Emma could actually spend some time together.
I need you to take Emma home with you for the next two weeks, though. I don't care who it is, but I'd recommend Eddie, since Emma has been around Eddie since she's been born. I'd say Mara too but we all know how that would end.
M'kay. I'm sorry again. I'll be back November 15th. I promise. Love you.
—Nina

"Well, then..." Eddie muttered, flipping the sheet of paper over and over again in his hands. I was grateful that the note was completely different than the suicide note I saw in my dream, but I knew that Nina was just gone for two weeks. We'd been separated for two weeks before; I had to work on songs and stuff for new music, and I didn't have time to talk to her.

This time was different because instead of me being the one leaving, it was Nina. I didn't know how a sixteen-year-old teenager could have given birth to Emma and taken care of an infant at that age, but nineteen-year-old Fabian Rutter definitely could not.

"Eddie, Mara, I'm sorry, but I can't do this..." I said, slowly backing away to the door.

"Fabian!" Mara scolded, surprising me by coming up to me and slapping my arm. "How dare you? The mother of your child just left, and you're going to back out on her? Emma needs you!"

"I can't take care of her!" I protested, stopping in my tracks. "I...I've been with Emma before, but Nina was there with me. She knows my daughter better than I do. I don't know what food she likes, when she takes naps, when she eats, what her interests are...I don't know anything! I can't do this!"

"Exactly!" Eddie butted in, his American accent standing out between Mara and I, the two Brits. "I think Nina mentioned you in her note because she wants you to bond with Emma. Fabian, I've known Nina for four years now, and I've known Mother Nina for two and a half. She's lying when she said she couldn't take Emma; if she really wanted to, Emma would be with Nina right now, wherever she is. She wants you to bond with your daughter."

"I...I can't do this alone, I really can't," I pleaded, sitting down on one of the couches.

"You won't be alone," Eddie reasoned. "You have us. I mean, I know we haven't talked much, but I consider you a friend. And Mara will be here, for as long as she can be before she runs off to study for the test that's coming next month. What time is it?"

I checked my watch. "Um, eight in the morning. Why?"

"Because I want you to stay here with Emma while Mara and I go to the market to buy some food," he explained. Eddie saw I was about to butt in with something, so he interrupted yet again. "Yeah, I know, Emma will be staying with me overnight for the next two weeks, but we need some spare food here because I'm sure you'll be coming every day or so to check up, right? So, just stay here with your daughter and bond. Goodbye!"

I sighed as I watched the door close in my face. I considered talking to Nina about this; but from what I could tell, there wasn't a computer. But Nina had to have been IMing me some way; so I walked down the hall and into her bedroom.

I felt like I was disrespecting someone or something (maybe my dignity?) but I didn't care. Nina was long gone. She'd never know I was in her room, so I closed the door to shut myself in.

There wasn't much in her room; a small bed, a nightstand, a crib, presumably for Emma's small two-year-old form, and a desk filled with papers and notebooks. I didn't know how she could stand having such a tight space; I was partly claustrophobic because I couldn't handle small spaces very well. My bedroom was larger, with a bed twice the size of Nina's, and guitars in every corner. My laptop usually sat on one of my bookshelves, but at first glance, I couldn't see where her computer was.

It took me a minute, but eventually I thought to look under the bed; and there it was, sitting alone. I took it out, opened the screen and was faced with the dilemma of a password.

Then I remembered, after the concert I took Nina, Eddie, and Mara to, Nina and I stayed behind and played around on Twitter. She made her username be NMEM0725 — and, much to my amusement, NMEM0725 was her laptop password as well.

I did feel bad about invading her privacy, but I desperately wanted to see what Nina had hidden on her laptop. A few minutes' inspection proved that she hadn't opened her email since the 28th — and all her 'unread' messages turned to 'read'.

"Ugh," I muttered to myself, scrolling through all the messages her and I had sent since August.

I didn't know if I felt happy or sad when I scrolled all the way to the top, to see our first messages, on August 9th.

Fabian: Hello!
Nina: Hi.
Fabian: How are you?
Nina: I'm fine. What about you?
Fabian: Sisters are annoying. One of my sisters won't leave me alone. You'd think at sixteen she'd be more mature about who I'm talking to on the internet.
Nina: One of?
Fabian: Yeah. I have four sisters -_-
Nina: Well, that sucks
Fabian: Tell me about it. How's Emma?
Nina: She's fine. I told her about you. She wants to meet you.
Fabian: Can I? I've never seen my daughter before. Ever. But beware because I might freak out and pass out because I don't think the fact that I'm a dad has fully sunk in yet.
Nina: Sure. Are you free today?
Fabian: I'm free after six. Does six pm sound good?
Nina: Great.

She had logged off after that, and Chloe had been the first sister to find out my secret. I hadn't met Emma at that point; if I had never asked to see her, Nina might have kept her away from me, and I might not be in this situation where I was alone with my daughter right now.

Speaking of which, I didn't know where she was right now. "Emma?" I called out, leaving the laptop on Nina's bed. "Emma! Where are you?" I left the room, which wasn't such a good idea; I didn't know the proper way around Nina's house yet.

"Oh Good Lord if I lost my daughter within the first hour of being together I am the worst father on the planet," I muttered to myself as I ran around her one-story house looking for my daughter. After a minute of looking, I found her searching the cabinets in the kitchen.

"Emma," I breathed, relieved, running over to pick her up. I tried to contain my happiness even though no one was there. "Oh, I'm so happy you're safe...not that you could have gone anywhere..."

"Daddy?" Emma murmured, smiling at me. I smiled back; it was weird to be called Daddy. For most of my life, I had been called Dork, Doofus, Stutter Rutter, etc, until I became famous and was called all the nice names you could think of. I'd never been called Daddy before; you could definitely say it was a weird experience.

"Yup," I said, releasing a small smile; I still had no idea how in the hell I was supposed to stay alone with my daughter. "Your father's here...the famous celebrity...loved all around the world...yippee..."

I didn't think much of it when Emma didn't say anything else; she was only two years old, after all.

It was strange to think about; I knew that I had missed the first two years of my daughter's life, but (most likely) I'd be here for the rest of her life. I had missed her first words, her first steps, the first time she laughed; but I'd be here on her first day of school, her Prom, her Graduation, when Nina and I sent her off to college . . . which made me think: would we be a couple?

Or would we be like Ross and Rachel? Parents, but not a couple? I knew that Nina wanted to take things slow, but would we be going like we were for the rest of our lives? If it was, I'd probably be moving on to other people, other girls that I liked and was interested in.

"You cause me so much trouble," I told Emma, but she probably couldn't understand me fully. I sighed, looking out Nina's window; Mara and Eddie's car still wasn't in the driveway. I realized that since I didn't have Nina's phone number and her laptop was sitting right next to me, there was no way to contact her; so I ripped my phone out of my pocket and dialed Mick's number.

"Hey, mate," I greeted, scratching the back of my head when he picked up.

"Oh, God, Fabian, what's wrong?" he asked; Mick knew I was going over to Nina's house if she didn't answer my messages. "What happened? Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no, nothing's wrong," I answered casually, walking around Nina's room in a circle; there wasn't much to look at. Eventually, I sat down on her bed. "Nothing at all. I was just wondering if you wanted to come over to Nina's house."

I tried to make my voice sound desperate; I didn't know how long Eddie and Mara would take, but I did know that in that short time, I would mess something up with Emma and I'd be shunned from this house for the rest of my life.

Mick, apparently, got the hint, as he responded with: "Nothing's wrong, right?" I said No, and he continued. "Well, okay, then, as long as you're sure that nothing's wrong. I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay," I nodded. "Thanks." Mick hung up, leaving me alone with Emma again. She pushed her two-year-old self up on to the bed with me; I probably would have helped her if I had been thinking straight.

For the past three years, I had been too obsessed with my fame and getting people to like me and my music; I hadn't really taken a "Home Economics" class in forever. I didn't know how babies acted. If I had been in contact with Nina when she was pregnant, I probably would have been an ass and backed out on her. If I did that, I probably would have left town; leaving Nina was so much worse than not knowing I had a daughter for two and a half years.

I sighed, turning my body to face my small daughter. "Oh, man," I muttered to myself, picking her up and setting her in my lap. "So, Emma . . ." I paused, not knowing how to start a conversation with a toddler. "Do you know where Mommy is or where she went?"

After pausing for a moment, she faced me, and I saw her eyes; she had the same exact color as me. Shaking that thought of my head, I saw Emma shake her head no.

"Well, of course you wouldn't," I muttered, mostly to myself. "You're two. I don't think Nina would really tell you where she was going. You might repeat it back to me. Man, Nina is a pain in the ass —"

Then I realized that I had cursed in front of my two-year-old daughter, my eyes grew to the size of tennis balls. "No, no, no!" I commanded her, but I didn't really think Emma had picked up on that. "Do not say ass. Oh, God, I said it again! Okay, Emma, you better not say any bad words in your lifetime, or I am going to kick your ass — OH MY GOD I'M HORRIBLE!"

Through my hands, I saw Emma giggle and say, "Nina?"

"What?" I murmured, slowly picking my head out of my hands in shame.

"Who Nina?" Emma asked again, and that's when I realized she was asking who Nina was.

"Oh," I quickly said, regaining my composure. "Oh, um . . . Nina's . . . um . . ." Then I realized I shouldn't lie to a two-year-old, especially my own daughter, so I told her, "Nina's your mother. Nina is Mommy's real name, just like Daddy's real name is Fabian."

"Fabian?" Emma asked, and I nodded.

"Yup, my real name is Fabian! I think I was named after my grandfather...or my great-grandfather...whatever. I don't really like my name. It means Bean Grower . . . I mean, if you're going to name me Bean Grower, might as well name me Jack . . ."

"Fabian!" Emma exclaimed.

"No, no, no," I waggled my finger in Emma's face. "Daddy's real name is Fabian, but that's not you're going to call him. Daddy's your father, so you're going to call him Daddy . . . or Dad . . . or Father . . . but I think I'd prefer Daddy, until you're, like, thirteen in 2023 and you're like, 'UGH DAD I REALLY WANT THESE SHOES' with your American accent while you video chat me in America. Okay, now I'm rambling. I'm sorry. Daddy does that a lot."

After that, silence issued between me and Emma. I didn't think anything out of it; I didn't really believe I could create an awkward silence between me and my daughter this early in her life; Emma was probably just thinking weird things in that small head of hers, like what the color of the ceiling was or how many tiles were on the floor.

"Fabian?" Emma addressed me, and I groaned.

"Oh, Nina's going to kill me," I muttered, but immediately corrected myself: "No. No. Mommy is going to kill me. Yeah, Mommy is going to kill me. Emma, sweetie, we're going to set the record straight."

Emma remained silent, and I felt a stupid surge of being in control for once; but for my first time and it being in front of a toddler, I felt kind of lame. I took a deep breath and continued: "Okay. I want you to call me Daddy or Dad, because I am your father. No sex until you . . . pass away."

Emma giggled uncomprehendingly; I continued with: "Emma, honey, don't be stupid like Nina — I mean Mommy — and have sex when you're sixteen with a potential famous celebrity, because then you'd end up with . . . this. I bet you don't even know I denied you." I took a deep breath. "Wow, I am a horrible father. I denied my own daughter!"

"Daddy?" Emma asked, and with a surge of happiness, I smiled at her. "Potty!" she said, excitement leaping through her tone, as she took off out of my lap and into the bathroom.

After the realization hit me that she was only two years old and would need help going to the bathroom, I said, "Oh my God."

v v v

A/N: Okay, um, I'll try to write chapter 17 by next week, but no promises.

I can't wait to write the next couple of chapters, because: Team Fabian meets Team Nina, there's a twist you'd never expect, and thing heat up with another photo of Fabian and Emma. We're only 6 chapters away from my favorite one, so.

Alright, feel free to do whatever you want, comment telling me how you liked it or how much you'd want to murder me if I missed another two weeks...