Chapter Seven

Martin couldn't believe his eyes. Ruthie stood not five feet from him and about six months pregnant. All he had wanted to do was surprise her. He was in Chicago because of a Minor try-out and thought it was the perfect excuse to see her. But it was obvious she had moved on.

"I-I shouldn't have come," he stuttered out shaking his head, turning to leave.

"Martin, wait!" She grabbed his wrist, effectively stopping him from leaving. "What are you doing here?" She still hadn't let go of his wrist and he wouldn't look at her. Her voice was soft, pleading almost.

"I wanted to surprise you," he answered in a tight voice. "I can see that was a mistake. You've obviously moved on."

Ruthie sighed. She could tell he was angry; that he was hurt. She knew what he meant when he said "moved on."

'Martin, come inside. Let me explain. Please?" She tugged at his arm, desperately trying to get him to come into the apartment. Almost reluctantly, he turned, nodding his head and pulled his wrist out of her grip. Instantly she missed the feel of his skin against hers but she understood.

Sighing, she motioned him to enter the apartment and followed him inside shutting the door behind her. She went back to the desk, waddling the whole way, and turned her music off. Martin had taken a seat in the only arm chair, leaving her the entire couch.

Slowly, she made her way to the kitchen getting ready to make her a cup of hot tea.

"Would you like something to drink? We have tea, milk, spring water, and some Mt. Dew, I think." She listed the drinks off her fingers trying not to look at him directly.

"Tea would be fine," he replied his voice still tight. She nodded and got another mug down.

After setting the kettle on the stove and turning the burner on medium heat, she made her way to the couch, sighing as she curled her feet under her. After several moments of silence past, Ruthie decided that she would have to talk first.

"Martin, look at me," she pleaded, "please," she added when he didn't turn his head to face her. With reluctance, his head turned toward her taking in her tense form. "How far a long do I look to you?"

"I don't know," he answered turning his head away. "Maybe six months."

"And about six months ago, where was I?"

"In Glenoak? Ruthie I don't understand."

"Think more exactly, Martin. Or maybe I should rephrase. Where were we about six months ago?"

Realization dawned on Martin's face as he thought of the night they had made love. No planning had gone on; no use of protection.

Ruthie stood, planning to move in front of Martin, just as the kettle whistle blew. She stood, frozen for a moment, before reluctantly moving toward the kitchen to finish making the tea. She set his cup on the coffee table that sat between the chair and the couch before turning to return to the couch.

"Martin, you are the only one I have been with. At first, I was too heartbroken to move on, and then I would get nauseous whenever I thought about it. Now, whenever I think that maybe it's time to move on, I feel a little kick, like this little life growing inside of me is telling me not to even dare to move on from its daddy."

"But you left to move on…"

"Would you have let me leave had you known I was pregnant; that I am pregnant? I knew you wouldn't have. No matter where I am I can't move on. This baby makes that impossible. But I couldn't tell you. I was too hurt at first and then Aaron came and he was your responsibility. I couldn't handle the disappointment that would come from telling my parents, so, as soon as I could, I called Mary. I've kept so many secrets over the years, for all my siblings that she agreed to keep this one for me. I hated lying to you, but I couldn't stay there; I couldn't watch you with Sandy and Aaron; I couldn't keep you from knowing; I couldn't make you divide yourself between two children."

Martin finally turned to look her, his eyes showing anger and hurt.

"So you decided for me. I have called you every other day for months and you couldn't just pick up the phone and tell me the truth? How could you not eventually tell me, Ruthie? Did you even listen to any of my messages?"

"Several dozen times a day, but I didn't want to tell you on the phone. It felt it was too heartless. I never thought you'd just show up here. I didn't want to have to tell you like this. I had a plan. I was going to write you a letter to try and explain. I was going to send copies of the ultrasound photos and its hospital photo with the letter. I thought that since I wasn't able to tell you before I left Glenoak that writing a letter would be the best possible way to tell you. Martin, please. I can't stand it when you look at me like that. I know I could have handled this better but it's too late now. I wasn't going to keep you out of our life, but I needed more time."

"What about me, Ruthie? I wanted you, needed you, by my side. I wanted you to be there for me, to help me get through this mess with Sandy, but you felt the need to get away, so I let you go. I have done nothing but miss you. I love you, but apparently you don't think that I would want, or deserve, to be part of your pregnancy."

"Don't put words into my mouth. I never said I didn't want you to be there for me. I hear rumors everywhere I go and all I want to do is share them with you. You're my best friend; I've been in love with you for I don't even know how long. I've gone to my doctor's appointment and I have seen the baby and I longed to have you by my side. But I just couldn't tell you over the phone and I hated myself for it. I have missed you; God, it felt like I couldn't breathe at times because I missed you so much. If I had chosen to answer just one call and you had asked me to come home, I would've been one the next flight. That's why I didn't answer any of your calls." Ruthie couldn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks, her hormones getting the best of her. "I don't want to argue with you Martin. I know in my heart that I love you, and that's all that matters to me right now. I don't expect you to be alright with me or to not be angry with me. I made a mistake, I know that. It doesn't matter that I was angry with you at the time; I made a decision that affected you without including you and that was wrong of me. If I could go back and fix this I would but I can't. What we need to do is think about the baby which means taking a step back. You need to have time to think about what you want. I won't make that decision for you; I won't make that mistake twice. How long are you in Chicago?"

"This whole week. Minor League try-outs."

"The maybe we can meet tomorrow at a local café. I don't care what time. I just want what is best for all of us, that includes Aaron, and to do that we have to talk calmly and rationally. We can't do that right now. Not when you're this angry; this emotional. I don't either of us to say something we might later on regret."

Martin nodded, stood, grabbed his jacket, and left the small apartment, his mind reeling. His tea sat on the coffee table, cold and untouched, completely forgotten about.