A/N: Thanks for waiting.
Things were normal.
Or at least, they appeared to be normal.
Sherlock seemed to be completely okay with the fact that John was engaged to Mary and intended to marry her
John seemed to have finally accepted that the night of the fall was a hallucination.
Sherlock wasn't jealous of Mary at all. Not one bit.
John was completely on board with the idea that Mary and Sherlock are good friends.
Who were they kidding?
"So, the big question. The best man"
"The best man?"
"What do you think?" John asks, casually. Internally, his heart was racing to see what Sherlock would say.
"Billy Kincaid"
"For my wedding. For me. I need a best man"
Best man? Sherlock couldn't care less. John could pick anyone on the streets for all he cared
"Gavin Lestrade? He's a man and good at it"
"It's Greg, and he is not my best friend."
"Oh I see how it is. Mike Stamford."
"No, Mike's great. But, he is not my best friend"
"Look, Sherlock. This is the most important day of my life and I want to be up there with two people whom I love and care about the most."
"Yes"
"Mary Morstan"
"Yes"
"…and you"
The whole world turns upside down. This is what he was. Best friend. Was John that cruel to make him his best man? Surely the agony because of John marrying her was not enough? Was Sherlock to be punished by actually having to arrange a marriage he didn't want to happen? Sherlock pauses, trying desperately to not let his expression show. He forced his face to remain neutral while trying to calm the tumult of emotions threatening to tear up the fragile wall he had created. He had spent years practicing to control his emotions. He had succeeded.
There was a pause. A pause in which both looked at each other in the eyes, hoping that the other would break the silence. Every moment felt important, every breath heavy. This was the case with all important moments. They appeared trivial to outsiders.
"So, I am your best friend?" Sherlock asks, clinging onto the slightest hope that John would say "something more"
"Of course, you are." John said.
They both knew that a shift in the relationship had occurred, Both of the acknowledged it and silently regretted it.
"You'll have to write a speech"
"Yes" a whisper, a carefully controlled whisper. A neutral tone.
John nods. He smiles strangely at Sherlock and leaves.
Sherlock sighs internally. He had handled that quite well. He goes into the hall, planning to go to his mind palace and lock all the feelings again.
It was a pity Sherlock did not see out of the window. Or else, he would have seen John furiously kicking some dustbins.
"You know it won't change anything. Me and Mary, getting married?"
Anything? It changes everything, John. EVERYTHING.
Sherlock was aware that Mary and John knew that he was scared. They just did not know why.
"We'll still be doing this" John said, trying to gauge a reaction from Sherlock.
"Oh good"
"If you were worried"
"I wasn't worried"
Of course he wasn't. Why would Married-To-My-Work Sherlock Holmes even care? John needed Sherlock for his adrenaline fix. Sherlock didn't need him.
"The thing about Mary…she has changed everything" John began, wanting to tell Sherlock, to explain why he was marrying Mary.
However, Sherlock got up. It was enough that he had to be best man. He did not have to listen to the love of his life talking about his fiancée.
"Changed everything"
Changed me. Taught .
"But, for the record, there are two people who have done that" John continued. He had the sudden urge to tell Sherlock what he meant to him.
"And the other…" he looks at Sherlock's empty seat.
This was always the case with Sherlock. Sherlock always left him alone when John needed him the most. Something clicks in John's mind. It felt like a sign. Like marrying Mary was the right thing to do.
Tea was ready. Mrs. Hudson slowly poured it into a cup. She mixed some of her "herbal soothers" in them. Sherlock would need them today. She takes the tray and frowns. She was unsure as to how Sherlock was feeling right now. She listens to the waltz music coming from Sherlock's flat.
Dancing. Dancing. Sherlock was dancing. It was a little sad actually, for he was dancing with an imaginary partner. An imaginary partner who seemed to be exactly of John's height.
"Your mother had a lot to answer for" she said, trying to lighten the mood.
"I know. I have a list. Mycroft has a file" he answered. His face was a mask of complete indifference. But, Mrs. Hudson knew it was a mask.
"So, it's the big day then"
"What big day?" he asks.
Gotcha. Overdoing the indifference, Sherlock.
"The wedding!"
Sherlock blabs, not wanting to lose the mask he had so carefully placed. It had to stay on for the entire day.
"My best friend Margaret….." Mrs. Hudson goes on, wanting to see how he would react.
Sherlock looks at the tea, trying to change the subject
"Aren't there usually biscsuits?"
"Oh, it's the end of an era!" Mrs. Hudson went on, observing carefully.
"Biscuits!"
Mrs. Hudson leaves, satisfied. Sherlock was indeed not so calm as he appeared. She sighed. Only if Sherlock had had the guts to tell John he loved him. It was too late now.
Sherlock looks at her leaving.
It changes people, marriage.
It's the end of an era
Marriage
Dr. and Mrs. Watson
Sherlock's head reels with phrases. No, this wouldn't do. The mask he had placed vanishes. He's vulnerable. He looks at John's seat. This was the sacrifice he had to make for the happiness of the man he loved.
"Right then. Into battle"
"John and Mary. Domestic bliss" Mycroft's words go through like a knife.
"No, no, no. I prefer to think of it as a new chapter" Sherlock said, trying his best to sound indifferent. Optimistic, even. Mycroft did not need to know what Sherlock was going through right now.
Mycroft pauses, knowingly. Deceiving Mycroft was not a good idea to start with.
"What?"
Sherlock's heart beats fast. Did Mycroft know?
"Nothing"
"I know that silence"
The silence was Mycroft's way of looking smug. It was equivalent to Mycroft waving his arms and yelling "I know something you don't"
"Well, I'd better let you get back to it. You have a big speech or something, don't you?"
"What?"
"Cakes. Karaoke. Mingling"
"Mycroft!"
"This is what people do, Sherlock. They get married. I warned you. Don't get involved."
Indeed he had.
"Involved? I am not involved"
"No"
Mycroft shakes his head internally. Did Sherlock really think Mycroft didn't know?
"John asked me to be his best man, how could I say no?"
"Absolutely"
"I am not involved"
"I believe you, really I do"
"Have a lovely day and do give the happy couple my best"
Mycroft pauses. This was it. Sherlock's reply would tell him everything he needed to know about this love triangle.
"I will"
Interesting. Sherlock has given up. Seems like he did not want to risk losing his only friend.
"Oh, by the way, Sherlock, do you remember Redbeard?"
Emotions always fade. No one can love you all the time. Love fades. People forget. They move on.
"I am not a child anymore Mycroft"
"No, of course, you are not. Do enjoy not getting involved Sherlock"
Clinking of glass
"Pray silence for the best man"
This was it. The speech. Finally accepting his place in John's new life.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Family and friends. And….others"
He can't do it. He just can't do it. Sherlock would have dearly liked to run away from the wedding and just cry until he cant anymore. But, no, he had to be strong. John's happiness mattered to him the most.
"John. My friend, John Watson"
Friend. Friend. How Sherlock hated the word.
"…I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could have the misfortune to meet…" Sherlock went on.
John wasn't listening. Sherlock had used this exact sentence in his hallucination. He grips the glass in his hand tightly. His rational part calms him. Maybe Sherlock used that sentence in real life before and his unconscious memory stored it. That must be it. He relaxes.
"If any of you should require the services of either of us, I will solve your murder. But, it takes John Watson to save your life. Trust me, I should know he's saved mine so many times and in so many ways"
John tears up a little. This was the first time Sherlock had said that he needed John. Perhaps…perhaps he loved him? A little atleast? NO. WATSON. It's too late now.
"This blog is the story of two men and their frankly ridiculous adventures. Of murder, mystery and mayhem"
It's been one hell of a ride John, of mystery, murder and mayhem. And I look forward to doing that after the next three years. So, John, would you do the honor of marrying me?
No. No no no no. I was over Sherlock. Universe, listen to me. I am married now. I am over Sherlock. I loved Mary.
"But, now there's a new chapter…..to Mary Elizabeth Watson and John Watson"
Yes, a new chapter. It was over. There was nothing left to fight for, Sherlock realized.
Don't lose it
Mycroft's voice guides him. That was how he survived the evening
"There's a proper to die, isn't there?"
"Of course there is"
"And one should embrace it when it comes. Like a solider"
"Of course one should. But not at John's wedding! We wouldn't do that, would we? You and me? We would never do that to John Watson"
The words reverberate around his head for a second.
"The sign of three"
John's happiness was worth it. His entire face lit up. Sherlock smiled a genuine smile for the first time in weeks. John's happiness was worth it.
"Dance, both of you"
He left the waltz composition.
To Dr. and Mrs. Watson.
It was a new beginning for them and an ending for him.
He looked at Janine. She seemed happy, she was talking to that geek. Everyone had somebody. Except him. At the end, he was always alone. People always left
Sherlock could not do it anymore. He left, pulling on his cloak.
It was time to become Sherlock Holmes, the consulting detective.
A/N: Sherlock's quip in TSoT: "This is hard. The hardest thing I've ever had to do" (on him writing his best man speech). Poor soul, writing a best man speech for the wedding of the man he was engaged to.
Also the bandage. You can see a bandage on Sherlock's wrist when he drops the glass. Fits with the violin, right? I hope you've seen connections like these.
Every expression, every words in this story fits canon. I haven't strayed away from it at all. I suggest you watch the episode again for you know, seeing it in a new light.
Let me know what you think!