A/N: It was my birthday on December 1st. Also, Merry Christmas!
Both of them had moved on. For real this time.
When John found Sherlock in the drug den, of course he was beyond mad. He had believed Sherlock had gotten past the habit. In fact, John couldn't remember the last time Sherlock used. Sherlock had stopped. John ensured that when he was in 221 B.
Oh.
John feels a pang of guilt. After his wedding, he did not see Sherlock at all. John needed some time to get his head straight (Sherlock's speech changed everything). He was too scared to meet Sherlock. He could not afford falling in love with him again. Not when he had a devoted wife and a child on the way. After he had resolved his feelings, he went three times to Baker Street. All the three times, he found the flat empty while Mrs. Hudson kept talking about the country Sherlock was currently in. He stopped trying. He made Mary and his child his life now. And such a life did not involve running around criminals and risking his life when there were two people at home waiting for him. It was not fair to them.
Atleast, Sherlock seemed to be having fun. His photo was frequently in the papers. The cases got bigger, the clients got more important (not that Sherlock did it for the money).
They were both living happy and comfortable lives. They did have a few regrets, but again, who didn't?
SHSHSHSH
Sherlock was dealing with misery in his own way. He was good at letting go and this was not the first time. Sherlock's philosophy was simple. Cry, grieve and lament to your heart's content. But, don't weep again.
The grieving process took him some time. The only reason he agreed to be best man was because he did not want to lose his only friend in this drama. John meant the world to him and he could never ever lose him. Somehow, John's happiness meant more to Sherlock than his own. He accepted his new role and tried his best to be friends with Mary. She was a nice person too. She was there for John when he needed a shoulder. Like he said at the wedding, he could accept the fact that Mary deserved John. And he forced himself to be happy about it.
He did try, although in a very roundabout matter. John thought that Sherlock lied about the bomb in the carriage for his forgiveness. No, it wasn't what Sherlock was trying to do. Not that he would ever admit out loud, some selfish part of Sherlock wanted John to have a near-death experience. A near-death experience shifted one's priorities. Of course, John always preferred Mary.
SHSHSHSH
She shot him.
And, he was grateful for that.
No, really. Mary had two options. Kill both Sherlock and Magnussen. Her secret would be safe and she would never have to run again. She does not have to be scared when the doorbell rings. She doesn't have to scan the streets every time she goes out. No need to hide a gun under her pillow every night. Most importantly, John would never have to know. Her past would die with two deaths.
She didn't kill him, though.
Later, when she was at the Holmeses for Christmas, he had asked her.
"Why save me?"
It was a question that had been going through his head for ages.
She looked at him, trying to decipher his every expression. When she spoke, her words seem to be carefully chosen, like she was scared of saying too much.
"John loves you. Funny how his happiness overruled mine. Also, I owe you for….everything I have today" she said.
Sherlock gasped inwardly. She knows, Sherlock realized.
"You…know?" he asked, trying very hard to keep his face neutral and his voice calm.
"Of course. I know you love him" she said, smiling at him.
"How do you know?"
"Oh, Sherlock. It was very obvious, right from the start. However, it was the bonfire that settled matters. Both of us were there. Both of us knew John was inside the fire. You ran to drag him out of the fire, risking your own life while I just stood there. Amazing how fire reveals our priorities" she smiled at the irony. She continued:
"Now, look, this is very hard for me to say so don't interrupt. Firstly, thank you. Everything I have today is solely because of you. Thank you for letting John chose me. Thank you for letting me have him when we both know you love him more. Thank you for helping me and John resolve our issues. I understand how hard it can be for you. Thank you, Sherlock for helping me." She said, with tears in her eyes.
"Mary.." he said and stopped. This was hard. But, he had to do it.
"Mary. I don't banter words with ease. What I say always happens to be the plainest truth. I meant what I said in the wedding. You are worthy of John Watson, don't ever doubt that. You make him happy and more importantly you were and will be there for him when he needs you. I've accepted this ages ago. John remains nothing but a good friend to me, so you have nothing to worry about. You don't have to thank me Mary. Like you've said, John's happiness is worth everything. So, sort it all out today and do it quickly."
Mary hugged Sherlock, tears freely streaming down her face.
"You have two bestfriends, Sherlock" she whispered in his ear.
Sherlock smiled. Indeed he had. He hugged her back.
This time, they truly became friends.
SHSHSHSHSH
He shot someone.
Magnussen to be exact.
Why? For his friends.
"Tell Mary she's safe now"
This was it. The end of Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock never expected to grow old but he never imagined his end to come in such a fashion. He always thought he would die while chasing a criminal. It would be a scene filled with guns and violence. He never thought he would give his life out of his own volition. But, here he was, at the airfield.
This time he had used. Excessively. His heart beats were numbered anyway. He would need them to get through today. Goodbyes were always hard, especially when the other person means so much to you. He looked at his two best friends. They didn't know what this mission meant. He wonders if he should tell them.
The selfish part of him wanted to tell John everything. How much he loved John. What John's company meant to him. Sherlock did not want to regret not telling John. Especially since this was his last conversation with the most incredible man he ever knew.
"There's something…something I always wanted to say…" Sherlock began.
SHSHSHSH
Sherlock risked his life for Mary.
No, scratch that. Sherlock risked his life for John. Full stop.
Suddenly, everything made sense. Of course, Sherlock loved him. It was love in its most purest form. Love which had no expectations. Love which was a constant, no matter how bad John screwed it up. Love unbound by sexuality.
"Tell Mary she's safe now"
What about you Sherlock?
And it was in that instant, John knew. High functioning sociopath? Sherlock was willing to give his own life for John's happiness. John felt unworthy of Sherlock's love.
It was worth it. Worth all the toes, the experiments, the screeching, the shooting the walls, the "bored tantrums"…even the Fall. They were nothing compared to what John got in return. He felt overwhelmed, guilty, happy, sad, melancholy, grief, love…everything. It was a feeling, or rather a state of being, that he couldn't explain. Nothing prepared you for this. Was this what being loved felt like?
And no matter how much he denied it, John loved Sherlock too. Maybe not in a romantic way. They loved each other in a way no two people ever have. And that was the reason for the confusion. The reason for the craziness, the uncertainty. John felt relieved, finally understanding.
Mary came second in his life.
SHSHSHSH
"There's something…."
And, it was in that instant, Sherlock knew too. Stupid, stupid!
John loved him too.
And that was why he shouldn't tell him.
"Sherlock is actually a girl's name"
John laughed and Sherlock committed every bit of it into his memory. This was the only thing that would keep him going. He shaked John's hand, not quite trusting himself to hug John. He was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. He went inside the plane as soon as he could.
SHSHSHSH
"There's something…."
John stopped. Was this it? Was Sherlock (finally!) going to tell him the words he wanted to hear ever since he knew what life with Sherlock felt like? John nerves tingled, his brain going to pieces. Mary, the kid, Sherlock, the confusion.
"Sherlock is actually a girl's name"
He laughed. What else could he do? The work always came first. Even though Sherlock loved him, he would never ever say so.
The crack in the lens, the fly in the ointment
John felt deflated. Sherlock would never be his. He belonged to the game and he would play it till the end.
He was Mary's now. Rosie was on the way. This was where he belonged. Home was with Mary. Home was the place in the suburbs. Sherlock was just a friend.
SHSHSHSHSH
Mycroft Holmes was never a man taken aback my surprise. Surprises were never a privilege the Holmeses had.
However, when Sherlock shot Magnussen, to say Mycroft was surprised was the understatement of the year. He didn't understand the reasoning. What could be more important that your own life?
Unless…
Sentiment.
"Oh, Sherlock"
Even though he had grown, the eight year old boy was still within Sherlock.
"What have you done?"
Mycroft had always scoffed the idea of sentiment but he slipped. He cared about Sherlock. Immensely.
And for the first time, Mycroft did not know how to protect his little brother.
Unless….
"Anthea" he called.
"Yes, sir?"
"I shall require the most efficient hacker of all London"
"Yes, sir"
SHSHSHSHSH
Relationships were tricky.
Especially when the other party is married.
Mycroft had no experience in these matters and thus had carefully restrained from involving in this triangle. Until now. He postponed the release, hoping (that was a first) that his brother would summon up some courage (for God's sakes!) and tell John about their engagement.
Or that he loved him.
Anything.
Oh.
Sherlock liked Mary.
He was taking the high road.
Alright, then.
He pressed a button on his phone.
"Did you miss me?"
A/N: As season 4 is coming out, I would like to tell you my thoughts on what I think is going to happen.
About Johnlock: I don't think it will be canon because of two reasons. The writers don't like to stray away from the books and more importantly, not everyone is accepting of a gay couple. At the end of the day, the show needs to make money. However, I think Mary will die in season 4 or 5 (she dies in the book before Sherlock meets John after Reichenbach actually). I think they are going to portray John and Sherlock living together as they grow old, never quite showing that they are a couple. They will leave the viewers to believe what they like.
About Moriarty: I don't know if you've noticed, but the "Did you miss me" part was different in His Last Vow and The Abominable Bride. In His Last Vow it's just an image with some editing to make it look like his lips are moving. However, in The Abominable Bride, it's him talking to the camera, in his own voice. I don't know if it's something important, but you never know. I like to think that he's not dead but the writers are so staunch about it.
About Tom Hiddleston: Obviously, I think atleast one episode is going to revolve around him. He is the other brother isn't he? I am guessing he has come out of exile or prison or something. (Mycroft's quip: "You know what happened to the other one")
About the season in general: There's going to be lot of action. Ropes, revolvers and helicopters. I think a character will make a huge sacrifice in this season (maybe John). Someone's going to die (most probably Mary)
Anyone knows how an Indian can watch the show when it premieres?
I will not update any of my stories until the season 4 ends (no one reads fiction when canon is happening!)
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!