AN: Thanks for the nice reviews! To adress one of them real quick: Dont worry, this isnt gonna be a crossover story. In fact, all one hundred wooden magicians are original characters. The scenes featuring them were all there to establish certain things. But that doesnt matter since the only one were going to spend a decent amount of time with in this story is number 100 anyway. ^^

It had been quite a bit of work, but now he was finally finished. The most difficult to rule out had without a doubt been the descriptions. With the monsters and jobs he had a lot of visual details to work with, things that should be there if the statue was that specific thing. The descriptions though...how exactly was he supposed to evaluate if the statue depicted "weak", or "self-inclined", or frickin "popular".

For all he knew the thing on the pedestal was all these things. Thankfully Lori had been more helpful than he had anticipated.

"Well, if this thing really is supposed to resemble an adjective like "weak" I'm pretty sure the statue would depict an actual clear representation of said adjective. Otherwise it would be impossible to figure out, don't you think?"

"*sigh* If the figure on the pedestal is supposed to be weak, don't you think it would show it trying to lift something small and light but failing? Hunched over a bucket of water or something? Same concept for the other adjectives."

"Oooooooh. Yeah, I figured that out ages ago. Just wanted to check if you really knew what you were talking about. Gotta say though...you were pretty slow there, sis."

"I swear to god Lincoln, you're lucky that you're my little brother..."

After that it was only a matter of time. Still had taken him long enough though. He had to cross reference several of the creatures and occupations mentioned on the list to make sure there was no resemblance. But all in all, this little sleuthing adventure had been exactly what he needed. Except for that one encounter with Lori he hadn't thought about Ronnie Anne all day.

He actually felt a bit childish for worrying about something as silly as that, especially after his big sister assured him that everything's alright. But then he thought back to the "grown-up table" situation and concluded that there wads nothing wrong with someone his age having childish thoughts or problems.

But enough about that. He finally crossed out the second to last name on the list. After looking it over one more time he was actually kinda disappointed with the result. The remaining name was something he had actually guessed early on. So in a way he could have just gone with his guts at the very beginning and would've figured it out anyway.

But then again the real reason he took this whole thing so seriously anyway was to forget his worries for a day, and since that had worked he still qualified it as worthwhile. Lincoln supposed he could just stop now. There was no way in hell this would actually work, right? But he had always been a curious fellow, so whatever, he thought.

After searching for a bit he produced both the second piece of paper and a pen and began filing the first blank with his name. But not a second after he had written the first letter it had vanished again.

"Hmmmm." He scratched his head. "Maybe the second blank will work?"

But predictably all he got was the same result.

"Well, guess this was a waste of time after all..."

He was just about to forget the whole thing and finally embrace the comfort of sleep when he got an idea. He picked the second paper up again and cleared his throat.

"Hereby I, Lincoln Loud, will fully accept the consequences that will arise from performing the following action incorrectly, and also vow to accept the reward should I succeed."

He yawned. After this he'd go straight to bed, that was for sure.

"I hereby declare that I am one hundred percent sure and willing to bet my life that this oak statue depicts a Wizard and I demand my reward for proven intelligence and may I be punished according to your terms if I am incorrect."

He waited for a few minutes. Nothing happened.

"That's what I thought. Well, goodnight weird statue. Tomorrow you're gonna go home. Sleep we-"

Before he could finish the sentence he heard a rumbling sound. Sure enough the statue was shaking violently.

"What the..."

Just as he reached a hand out to touch it it suddenly exploded. Wood splinters were flying everywhere and he could hear his ears ring from the noise. Shortly afterward he heard frantic knocks on his door and the voice of multiple of his sisters calling his name. But he couldn't focus on them right now. Rather he had to focus on what's was standing right in front of him. Or floating, maybe. He really couldn't tell, as his lamp had burst during the explosion. But there was something there.

He couldn't make it out clearly. All he could see was a black silhouette. And whatever it was, it was staring right at him. Suddenly he could hear a voice. Not from the direction of the thing, but in his own head. It was a forceful voice, one that could induce headaches just by listening to it.

Thank you for freeing me young man. You have done me a great favor.

Lincoln just sat there, mouth agape, trying to focus on what was in front of him through the glaring pain in his head.

Don't worry. I wont hurt you. At least not seriously. You and yours have nothing to fear from me. I may be blunt, but I'm not a monster.

This was followed by echoing laughter.

In his periphery he noticed that someone was trying to break his door down now but to no avail. As if it was being violently held in place by something.

Rejoice, child. For now you have the privilege to witness...

The figure raised his hands

...the creation...

Lightning began coursing between his fingers. Lincoln felt an immense power pressuring through the room. His mind still hadn't completely caught up to what was happening. It was all so sudden.

...of a brand new world!

But just as the thing in his room was about to release whatever power it had built up the lightning suddenly just fizzled out. The thing seemed to be just as perplexed as Lincoln was.

What? But no! I...I Can't be...i thought...

Suddenly it let out a violent scream. The rage was apparent. With the flick of a finger a savage storm erupted in Lincoln's room, destroying many of his things and cutting deep wounds into his arms as he used them to shield his face. The pain was unbearable.

Well then...time to formulate a plan b...

Tears streamed down Lincoln's face. Some from the pain that seared through his whole body. Some from the shock of looking down and seeing his ruined arms and his body smeared with blood. Some from the confusion, his inability to comprehend what was happening. He just wanted to feel safe again. Hang out with Ronnie Anne. Playing around with his sisters. Be comforted by his parents. He turned his head in the direction of the raging being in his room once more and held out his bloody arms.

"I...im d-dreaming, right?"

His tears hindered his ability to speak coherently.

"T-this is all..all just a d-dream, right?"

The thing stopped its stormy assault and turned in his direction.

Yes...yes, this was all a dream. Sleep now.

As soon as he heard these words he suddenly felt his drowsiness hitting him like a truck..

Sleep. This was all a bad dream. And like all dreams you will barely remember it come morn.

Lincoln lay down in his bed. In his last few seconds he looked around the room once more. It may be because he was so sleepy but he could swear he saw his room setting itself back up. Broken toys repaired themselves and returned to where they belonged. Ripped paper became whole again. He could even feel his pain going away.

As his view shifted to his door, right before he went to sleep, he could see it opening and his sisters, Luna at the front surprisingly, screaming as they saw what he had seen. And just as he, they fell to the ground one after another as someone commanded them to sleep. Maybe it really was all a dream. No, it definitely was. That thought made him happy.

And so, content, he escaped into a deep pleasant slumber.

When Lincoln woke up he realized, much to his dismay, that his worries still hadn't gone away.

"Damn." He thought, while releasing a morning yawn and stretching his arms. "I should've guessed that its not that easy. Its never that easy."

He got up, greeted the statue beside his bed, and prepared himself for the daily ritual of "making yourself ready in a house with ten sisters." "At least its Saturday..." he thought.

After everything was said and done he contemplated what he should do today. Clyde was coming around later, but in the meantime might as well spend your time wisely.

After a minute in deep thought he decided to try out if the TV was vacant. The chances were slim to none, but it couldn't hurt to try, right? And for once it actually paid off. The TV-area was completely empty.

Satisfied he plopped down on the couch and used the remote. It seemed as if he had picked just the right time to catch...a Commercial.

"Great..."

A gruff, military sounding voice came from the TV.

Hey you there! Sitting on the sofa!

"Who, me?"

Yes, you! Are you in a pinch or in a pickle? Is something bothering you?

"You can say that again..."

Well, then be bothered no more! We have experts in all things pertaining to life just sitting here waiting for your call!

"Oh, yeah? How are they supposed to help me if my own sister couldn't?"

And if you're thinking stuff like "Oh, yeah? How are they supposed to help me if my own sister couldn't?" then stop being such a downer!

"Point taken...Boy, these commercials get more and more specific each time."

Our experts have experience in everything from military, over cooking skills, all the way to love.

Now Lincoln's ears perked up. "Love too?"

Yes, love too. We will guarantee you that one call to our hotline will grant your every wish!

"Well, id love to, but I don't think my parents would allow it..."

And don't worry about whether or not your parents#ts would allow it. Because in a limited offer, just today, everyone who calls in the next twenty minutes will have to pay...nothing!

"Nothing?!"

That's right folks, nothing! So don't just sit there staring at the TV-screen like an idiot. Go, go and secure your future!

"Will do, gruff voice man!"

At this moment Lynn appeared from the direction of the kitchen. She seemed confused.

"Hey Linc, what are you doing?"

Just call 555 949-273 and get to living!

"Lincoln? Im supposed to tell you..."

"Sorry Lynn, Can't right now, gotta go!"

And with that he ran off.

"-that the TV isn't working right now..."

She shook her head, picked up the remote, and turned the staticy TV off.

"That boy gets weirder every day."

In Lincoln's mind it always took way too long until people answered the phone. It was rather irritating in fact. But if living in a house with ten sisters had thought him one thing it was definitely anyway.

"Hello my friend! Are you ready to face your future?!" It was the same voice from the television.

"Yes, I am. I was wondering if you could patch me through to one of your experts?"

"..."

"Your...love experts?..."

"Well why didn't you say so? One moment!"

And sure enough, not a quarter of a minute later a different person answered on the other end of the line. This one was rather softspoken and clearly female.

"Hello. young man, what can I do for you?"

"Yes, hello. My name is Lincoln, and I wanted some relationship advice."

"Hello, Lincoln, Before we start, let me ask you a question."

"Sure, shoot."

"What is it that you wish to accomplish."

"I just want to know how to be a good boyfriend. You see..."

But the woman interrupted him.

"Well, that may be, but is that really your underlying wish?"

"...What do you mean?"

"Well it just seems to me that being a good boyfriend isn't the root problem here. Why do you want to be a good boyfriend exactly?"

Lincoln furrowed his brow.

"Because there is this gir-"

"No, no! Describe it to me in one short sentence."

Slowly but surely he began to think that maybe this whole thing was a scam. But then again, its free for now, so why not humor them.

"I want to be in a mutually happy relationship."

"Good, good. And, how long do you want this relationship to last?"

Lincoln shrugged.

"I don't know...Forever I guess?"

The other end was silent for a moment.

"Excellent. That is exactly what I wanted to hear from you. Now could you repeat all that for me?"

Lincoln facepalmed.

"*sigh* Alright. I want-"

"Oh no no no."

"Uuurgh, what now?"

"Our motto is "We help you fulfill your wishes.""

"...and?"

"..."

He groaned again.

"Alright, I wish for you you to help me get a relationship going in which both people are happy."

"..."

He rolled his eyes.

"...That lasts as lon-"

"No no no no. Exact words my friend."

"You know I've just about had it wit-"

"Do you want advice or not?"

"...that lasts forever. There, satisfied?"

"Oh yes, very."

"So are you finally gonna listen to what I have to say?..."

"Of course! Don't hold back."

"Alright. So my girlfrie-"

"Is what I would say, if there wasn't an insane rabid tiger rampaging through our call center at this very moment. Im afraid everyone who could help you has died a gruesome and torturous death. Including myself."

"...Are you kidding me right-"

"Please call again tomorrow."

And with that she hung up

After he was finished composing himself Lincoln turned in the direction of his room.

"I get it..." he thought. "They are probably scammers trying to hook people on to their expensive hotlines after a "free" session."

Lincoln sighed. He guessed that they figured since he was just a kid he wouldn't have that much money to give...Still no reason to be dicks about it.

He arrived in his room, closed the door and sat on his bed.

"What a rip-off."

"Ill say."

Lincoln let out a scream. Somehow, it seemed, he had failed to notice the complete stranger sitting on his bed as he entered the room. But sure enough, there he was.

An older fellow, probably in his fifties, long, graying hair and beard that reached to his chest, and wearing some sort of black robe with weird symbols on it. But he didn't really have time to contemplate the strangers appearance as Lincoln hopped out of bed and opened the door in one smooth motion. That is, he tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge.

The stranger laughed.

"Yes, I should've known that my appearance may be a little intimidating for a child."

His voice was rough, as if he was recovering from a throat injury, and his pronunciation was deliberate and slow.

All that changed however as without warning his form started to twist and turn. He shrunk a head at least, his hair receded until it was barely shoulder length and the gray was replaced by a vibrant brown, while the beard vanished completely. All in all he looked to be about Loris age now, and his voice changed to fit the bill.

"Is that better?"

"Oh, alright."

Lincoln composed himself.

"Im dreaming. Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

"Oh, but you aren't." The now young man said and pointed at Lincoln's left wrist. "See?"

Suddenly a searing pain burst through it, enough to make Lincoln scream, but not a second later it was gone again.

"So...im not dreaming?"

The man shook his grinning head.

"Then...what do you want?"

His voice transformed into that of a familiar sounding woman.

"You made a wish my friend."

"...That was you?..."

He nodded and spoke, this time with his real voice again.

"You made a wish, and I am hear to grant it."

He chuckled lightly.

"Don't worry, you can believe me one thing. Once I'm done here nothing will be the same anymore. You're gonna love it."

He winked.

"Believe me. This is gonna be fun."