AN: Sorry for the short chapter and longer wait. I really didnt have that much time lately, and the little time i had i spent exploring the glory that is Nuke World.^^ Anyway, im going back to writing more and faster soon, sorry again. Hope you enjoy this chapter. =)
"Are you done yet?"
The wizard was lazily floating in the middle of the room reading one of Lincoln's comics and waiting for him to calm down. He had spent the last twenty minutes trying to come to terms with the fact that magic not only existed, but that there also was a magician floating in his room right now. The wizard himself found this to be rather irritating,
"Let me speed that up for you."
He touched Lincoln's head. Suddenly his thoughts seemed to run at a breakneck pace and he had his inner turmoil resolved in just another few minutes, contrary to the hours, days, or maybe weeks it wouldve taken in real time.
"Huh...Thanks, I guess."
The comic floated back down as the man from the statue yawned and stretched.
"About time."
Lincoln scratched his head. He was still reeling a bit but at least he could form coherent thoughts again. There was one thing he had to know for sure.
"So, you are some kind of genie?"
The man started rotating in a circle as he thought about his answer. It looked quite goofy in Lincoln's opinion but he didn't dare to criticize.
"Its an apt comparison I think. There are some rather noticeable differences of course, but its similar in spirit."
He chuckled.
"Heh, spirit."
Lincoln rolled his eyes.
"Alright, so you're here because I solved the riddle inside this thing Clyde found in his basement."
He pointed at the wooden statue.
"If you could call that a riddle, yes."
Suddenly a long list of names appeared in the mans hand. It was bundled in a roll that looked thicker than an encyclopedia.
"Can you believe that this many people got it wrong? I even have a few on here who filled the first blank wrong. How is that even possible?"
And just like that the list was gone again.
"Seriously, it shocks and amazes me that this is the first time I was summoned since I arrived on this world."
"Okay, okay, but lets not change the topic, alright? You are supposed to grant me a wish?"
"Yes."
"Any wish?"
"Indeed."
"And you say that I have already made that wish?"
"Remember the phone conversation, pal? You even said "I wish"."
"That means you jibbed me!"
He rotated back into an upright position and put his hands up in mock surprise.
"I jibbed you? I simply can't agree."
"You totally did!"
"No, I didn't."
"Yes you did!"
"Yeah, I kinda did."
"Yes you...wait, you admit it?"
He slowly descended back onto his feet before vanishing and startling Lincoln by reappearing right behind him.
"I do. And it was, admittedly, for purely selfish reasons, but I beg you to hear me out."
Lincoln crossed his arms but was willing to listen.
"I had to do it that way. How likely would it have been that you would have made the same wish if you had known about the circumstances?"
"I don't see why it is absolutely necessary for you to help me with some dumb childish problem that only exists in my head. The things I could have wished for..."
He floated back to Lincoln's front and put his hands on his shoulders.
"But that's were you're wrong, my friend."
"How so?"
"I couldn't care less about your romantic problems. I couldn't care less about any of your problems, I have plenty of my own."
"But I thought you just said..."
"It wasn't the subject matter of the wish, it was the time frame."
"...The time frame?"
"Recall my commercial. It said that they would cater to every wish a caller had. Advise in all aspects of life. I did give you a choice. Romance just happened to be the most pressing thing on your mind at that moment."
Lincoln sat back on his bed. Now that he thought about it, the man was right.
"...but why is the time frame important?"
The man floated next to him.
"You see, things didn't exactly go as I had planned. I wont bore you with the details, but lets just say that I was supposed to be free as soon as someone solved the riddle."
"And you arent now?"
He chuckled again. Although this time it was more bitter than amused.
"No. As soon as your wish is granted I will be forced to go back inside the statue, waiting for the next sap trying to free me. No offense."
Lincoln looked at the little figure.
"Would that really be so bad?"
The man stared at Lincoln for a moment before reaching over and touching his head.
"You tell me."
An explosion of pain burst through Lincoln's body. A blood-curdling scream rang from his mouth as his bones shrank and his skin became hard and immobile. After a few hellish minutes the pain was finally over. As his eyes adjusted to their new size he could make out the giant form of the man who not too long ago had been in this exact same position.
He wanted to apologize but as he tried to voice his thoughts he noticed that he couldn't. He couldn't move either. He could still hear though. And smell. And see. As the wizard grabbed him and held him up to his face Lincoln noticed to his growing horror that he could feel as well. Before he had time to think about the implications he was suddenly back on his bed in flesh and blood. He looked at the man.
"How long...have you been like this?"
The man sighed.
"I arrived in this world about...i don't know... about 2000-2500 years or so, give or take? Something like that."
This time it was Lincoln who put a hand on the mans shoulder.
"Dude, I'm sorry. I can't even imagine..."
"Yeah, it was pretty terrible. Roman times weren't that bad though. I spent a considerable amount of time on a soft pillow and was only occasionally dropped."
Lincoln scratched his cheek. The situation was somewhat awkward for him.
"By the way, you can change back into your older...form I guess...if you want. I don't think I'm gonna be intimidated by you anytime soon."
A smile appeared on the mans face.
"Hoo boy, you're going to swallow those words son, believe you me. But no."
He started floating again, stretching his arms and making poses all around.
"I had completely forgotten how good it feels to be in a young body. I spent way too long in that old husk...Still beats that one time I spent six-hundred years as a fat lady though."
At the mention of age Lincoln got curious.
"Uhm, about that...How old are you exactly?"
He turned to lock eyes with Lincoln, his smile stretching into a grin.
"Im so many times your senior I'm not sure a there is a number to express it."
Lincoln waved his hand.
"Come on, you can't be that old."
"Really now? Im older than the universe that this world resides in many times over. Many many many times in fact. Do you want to see how I would look if my body wasn't being kept young by magic? My...true form, if you will?"
Lincoln shrugged.
"Sure, why not."
With that the man began to age. First slowly, then quicker and quicker. The hair became longer and longer, lost more and more color until it fell out completely. His robe slowly dissolved, as his skin wrinkled and eventually fell off to reveal the bone behind. But it didn't stop there. The skeleton slowly became thinner and thinner until it was nothing more than dust. And even the dust broke down into nothing. Lincoln's mouth hung open. Suddenly he heard a familiar voice in his head.
Yes, the body is the most fragile thing when it comes to immortality.
It has to be constantly maintained or forced into a stasis, like mine.
The mind is way more troublesome though. The boredom really gets to you.
And over time your morals deteriorate in your quest for entertainment only to reassert themselves stronger than ever when you crossed a line you never imagined crossing.
And rather rinse repeat, century after century, millennium after millennium. But its all worth it in the end. At least in my opinion.
But why am I telling you this anyway...
He suddenly appeared again in his teenage body, arm slumped around Lincoln's shoulder.
"...when you will go through the same thing soon enough anyway. Look forward to it."
It took him a while for that sentence to register in Lincoln's brain. But when it did...
"Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean by that?"
"I meant what I said. The time frame, remember? You want to be in an relationship that lasts forever. And of course I have to stick around to ensure it does, no?"
Lincoln was still struggling to understand.
"What? How? When?"
"In that order: You won the lottery my friend. A lifetime supply...of life. Heh."
He chuckled again.
"I really am a comedic genius. I should be writing these down."
He shook his head.
"But anyway: With magic. And lastly: It is already done."
Lincoln looked down at his hands.
"It is?"
"Yes. Once you turn twenty your body will stop aging. And don't worry. Your brain will hold all relevant memories. In fact, you should already be able to benefit from your vastly improved memory. Give it time."
"Im...immortal?"
"You can still be killed by conventional means, so no. You are ageless, not invincible. But that's why I'm here, right? Im your shield."
Lincoln continued to stare at his hands, closing and opening them now and then.
"And its not just you."
He turned his head to look at the wizard.
"Whoever the lucky girl, dude or vaguely human looking sentient mold-creature you chose to be your amore will share this incredible gift with you. I would even be willing to extend it to the rest of your family as a show of goodwill. Wouldn't want you to be lonely."
"So...that means..."
"It means that you will have plenty of time to do anything you want. Also you may have to change your identity every fifty years or so. But its really simpler than it sounds. So my boy, what do you think?"
Lincoln looked up, a huge smile plastered on his face.
"Awesome!"
The wizard smiled as well.
"Excellent."