I knew what i was doing was wrong on so many levels, but just because the more logical part of my mind knew what i was doing was fucked up, didn't stop me from acting on instincts. I couldn't stop myself from stopping this poor boy from leaving with his brother. The more instinctual part of me dictated my actions. It made me say that Tommy was my son when he was not. I know he wasn't, but still, i needed to keep him here with me. I could come up with a list of excuses on why, but it was for the selfish reason that Tommy filled the void that Damian left. It wasn't a perfect fit, but it made me feel a bit more calm see him.

I knew i shouldn't be doing this though. No matter how much i felt better, the boy didn't belong here. He had a whole other world waiting for him to go back to. His own family, his own father. Although at the last part, my mind bit at the idea of anyone else handling him. It wasn't him i kept seeing though. It was Damian. I no longer saw Tommy. I saw Damian. Afraid and in pain. I wanted to so badly take away that pain, but that fear. It was from me. He was afraid of me.

I looked down at the mess Alt-tim was. He was clutching onto Tommy with everything he had. He too was afraid i was going to steal his brother. He took off when Dick let it slip that Damian had died. That i couldn't replace him with Tommy. I knew that. Doesn't mean i could let it go though. A part of me wanted to just make Alt-Tim disappear and keep Tommy somewhere safe. Somewhere he wouldn't have to be afraid, but it doesn't work like that. He was afraid of me. He was afraid of what i would do. What i had done.

Oh god, i was so sorry. I didn't want to hurt him in anyway. He was just like my baby. He should go home to his family. I wanted to let him go, but that nagging instinct to keep him by me was at full force.

Looking down at him peeking up at me through the mess of alt-Tim made me want to take him up and reassure him that it was going to be ok. Even though, i'm sure we all knew there was no going back for me.

I took a step forward to get Alt-tim to loosen up his grip so i could send him home, but was distracted by the fist that managed to connect to my face. I was thrown a few feet away from where i was standing. Now i was laid flat on the ground looking at what looked like jason standing in front of alt-tim and Tommy. He was about the same size as my jason, but he lacked the white streaks and the haunted look that jason always bore, but there was one large thing he had in common with jason when he looked at me, he looked livid. His fist still out stretched from punching me.

"Stay the FUCK away from them you sick shit." Jason threatened me. He was poised to attack me again when he noticed Dick and Tim standing not too far away. He turned to them and pulled out a knife.

"You bitches want some too?"

"Jason, stop, we need to hurry." a voice came from beside him. It was dick, but at the same time it wasn't. He leaned down to alt-tim and helped him stand up. Alt-tim gladly took his hand. He adjusted Tommy in his arms, but the person i am assuming was alt-dick, just shook his head and went to grab Tommy himself. He cradled the small boy to him and pulled out a small inhaler from his pocket. He lifted the boy up a bit and put the smaller device to his mouth. Pressing down on it twice. Once he was done he placed it back into his pocket and started to back away from everyone.

"Listen here, we are leaving, this portal is going to close. You stay here, and no one else has to get hurt." Alt- Dick said as he pushed alt- tim behind him. Alt- jason too backed up with them. None of them taking their eyes off of us.

I knew that i had lost. I was fighting something that i should have never tried to fight. I stayed silent as they went through the portal. Alt-tim went first, then i had to watch for a second time the face of my son disappear, but at least he was going with his brothers. He wasn't alone. alt-Jason went last, but not before giving everyone the finger. Guess the world weren't that different.

Once they all were gone, i let it all sink in. i let myself fall back down to the ground. I had lost my son again, but this time, he wasn't alone. I can find some solace in that at least.

I let the world spin for a bit, before managing to sit up. Not too far away from me dick and Tim were still standing. Staring at where the altars were not too long ago. The whole night had gone to hell, and we all need some time to heal. Not from tonight, but from everything. From my actions, from their shock silence, from Tommy appearance, from Damian's death. We all needed to heal.

"We should go home." Dick and Tim nodded and they turned from me. Walking back to the manor. Tonight, was not a good night and that was putting it nicely. Our wounds were reopened and parts of ourselves that were less than pleasant came to the surface. My rage brought on by grief. Their weakness brought on by uncertainty. We all needed time.

We lost a big part of our world, and we saw something that was once part of us, with someone else. Like us, but not us. And we panicked we are not ready to let Damian go, and i believe we won't ever be. We will have to accept though that he is gone, and that all we have each other to catch us when we are losing control.

This was a test of some sort i believe, or at least that is how i will see this experience as. A test to see if i could be strong enough to face the hard facts, a test to see if they could stop me if my strength failed me. And we all failed horribly. The price though, was a baby boy that shared Damian's face, suffering. We all had to be better after this. We had to make sure that no else ever suffered like our baby did.

But looking at the two in front of me, and thinking about their alternates, i had hope. Their alternates came to their brothers aide with no hesitations. They took me down, and they were willing to literally fight themselves to make sure everyone got home safely. Im sure that whatever happens they would be ok. And that gave me hope that we would be too. This was just a bad night, but we'd get better. We would get stronger for each other.