**I'm sorry about the long pause in chapters. I'm back to it now, and I hope you all enjoy!**

Chapter 15 : Sinner's Prayer

Kate couldn't cry. Her heart was so broken that she was numb. Negan had given her an impossible choice, and she wasn't happy with either option. But she wasn't going to let him murder Simon. She stood, unable to move, as if glued to the floor. Negan reached for her, and she jerked away.

"Now, don't be like that. Simon isn't dead. You saved him."

"Shut up." Kate breathed, her voice barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry?" Negan cupped his hand to his ear.

"Just shut the fuck up, Negan."

"What? Now you're going to get high and fucking mighty? You came to me. "

Kate had a million things she wanted to say. Scenarios ran through her mind too quickly for her to focus.

"You're a monster, Negan. A fucking asshole. " With those words, she slapped Negan hard across his face. Negan grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. She tried to free herself from his grip, but he had wrapped his arm around her, pinning her back to his chest.

"Now listen to me. Nothing is free. Everything has a price. I should have fucking killed you in front of everyone at the walker pit. I should have put you down, made an example of you."

"So why didn't you?" Kate asked, teethed clenched in anger.

"Because you've done something to me. Damn it, Kate, you've fucking stirred up shit inside of me that I haven't felt in a long time. I can't lose you. I can't let you go." Negan's grip slacked and Kate took a step backwards.

"But you still take what you want. No regard to anyone."

"It's a new world, Kate. In case you haven't fucking noticed. And yeah, I was going to take you from Simon, one way or another. Every time I thought of you with him, I wanted to bash his head in. I wanted him dead. But he's my right hand man. Shit won't get done without him. I need you both."

"You're jealous? That's what this is all about?" Kate put a hand on Negan's chest.

"I can't live without you. I won't. " Negan placed his hand over hers, but she pulled away.

Kate walked out the door, and headed to her room. Once there, she made her way through the darkness to her bed. She knew that she had to do something - anything - about Negan. She knew that he would consider her his now. But she didn't want to become one of his wives. Those women were broken; shells of their former selves, only focusing on survival. She felt trapped, and she wasn't happy about it at all.

The next day she finished her inventory in the hospital. She went about her day, putting herself on auto pilot. She heard that Simon was sent on a run. Good, she told herself. At least he can escape for a few days. She did her best to avoid Negan. She wasn't sure what would happen if she was anywhere near him. After her shift, she retreated back to her room. She kicked off her boots and headed to the bed, but she was stopped dead in her tracks. There, on the pillow, was a bouquet of wild flowers. She nervously approached them and found a note.

"Kate,

You may think I'm a monster, but I'm just a man. Meet me tonight in my room.

Negan"

Kate closed her eyes and shook her head. Negan had some balls, letting himself into her room while she was gone.

What do you want from me, Negan, she whispered to herself. Kate read his note over and over again. She couldn't believe it, but Negan was really in love with her. Or, whatever version of love he was capable of. This gave her an idea. She had the upper hand now, since she was the object of his affection. Maybe she could use this to her advantage, in an attempt to leave The Saviors and break free of Negan once and for all.

The compound was dark, and not many people were outside at such a late hour. There were guards patrolling the fence and the standing by the gates, laughing and smoking. The gurgling sound of Walkers was an ever present noise in the background of the new world. There were hardly any lights on; just a few security lights to keep people from falling and tripping in the dark. The guard at Negan's building nodded when Kate approached, and stepped aside. She walked slowly up the stairs to Negan's room. The door had been repaired, and she knocked. She heard locks click and the handle turned. He stood before Kate, and reached out to brush a few stray hairs from her face, tucking them behind her ear.

"Thanks for the flowers." Kate remarked.

"I didn't know if you would come. I know I can be an asshole sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Kate smirked, and stepped inside. She watched him as he locked the door behind her. She hated him, but still, something stirred deep inside her. Some wild, untamed passion seemed to come to life when she was alone with him. Nothing made her more angry than the way she seemed to be drawn to the most evil man she had ever met. But she knew that she had to stick to her plan. She would do whatever it took to gain her freedom.

"What is this, Negan? Really. Because I'm still a little confused. You say you're crazy about me, but you try to kill the man that I love. You even raised Lucille to me in anger." Negan moved close to Kate, running his hand around her waist and under the back of her shirt.

"I told you, I'm not a good man. But no one is good anymore, not really."

"You really believe that?" Kate asked, closing her eyes.

"I know that you're no angel. But like I said, I'm not a monster. Kate, I want you. I want to feel your body next to mine. I want to wake up next to you. I want to keep you alive." Kate knew that he was telling her the truth. Sadly, part of her wanted that, too. Her body kept telling her to lean closer, to let go. To give in, and let some of the worry and dire need of survival pass away. She gently pulled back, to Negan's surprise.

"If you want me here, then there are some things that need to happen." Negan laughed, loud and bold. He pulled back his hand, walked to the couch, and sat. He twisted the cap off a bottle of whiskey and poured two glasses.

"Business before pleasure. I get it. Okay, Kate, tell me what you want."

"No more wives. Seriously. It's not just a monogamy issue for me. I don't want anything that won't wash off."

"Hmm. Alright. What else?"

"I keep my room. I want to keep my own space."

"I'll think about that one. Anything else?" Negan asked, swirling his drink in his glass.

"I'll let you know when I think of it." Kate picked up her glass and downed her whiskey in one gulp. Her body shook and her throat burned. This only seemed to delight Negan more. Kate knew what was coming next. She closed her eyes, swallowed hard, and walked over to Negan's bed.

"Actually, there is one more thing, Negan. You're wearing too many clothes."