RIG=VEDA 2
So it has come to my attention that Rigveda is something that is p much known in Hindu? I gotta say, I did not know about that until one of my friends pointed it out. The RIG=VEDA that I'm using is based off of a song called EXEC RIG=VEDA by Noriko Mitose. So, meh.
I looked up the actual Rigveda and on wiki I found Indra and Ashura being mentioned there. Ashura, not so much. But Indra quite a lot apparently. And isn't that just a wonderful coincidence?
I'm not going to change the title, unless any of you find it offensive to have that as the title? I don't know, as I mentioned earlier, it isn't based off of the real Rigveda, it is based off of a friggin' song title.
So yeah, no changing titles unless you're truly offended.
Also, this is an IMPORTANT note: if you are expecting this to be as elaborate, descriptive and long as EI, don't even get your hopes up. This story is written on a whim and is continued on a same whim. Therefore I'm writing what I want, however I want, whenever I want. I'd probably put more emphasis on feelings and dialogues than anything descriptive for this.
Anyway, thank you for those who favorited and followed this story. This won't be as elaborate as EI, but I appreciate your support nevertheless. Enjoy!
Warnings: confusing thought structures, brother complex, hints of trauma
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When Uchiha Sasuke wakes up, he jumps out of the hospital bed to hug his brother. The older one doesn't refuse the hug and readily hugs the child back, whispering sweet nothings and asking 'what's wrong, Sasuke? What's wrong?'.
Uchiha Sasuke is not an idiot even before those memories—water and mother and the suffocating feeling of being unable to breathe—came to him; and thus, when he realizes that his parents are there—and watching him with sharp eyes, obviously also fishing for information on what is happening to their youngest son—Sasuke only mumbles to Itachi's shirt.
"Bad dream, Aniki. Bad things."
Itachi frowns, his hand running through Sasuke's hair in order to calm the child down.
"Bad things? …What did you see, Sasuke?"
"…."
"…Sasuke?"
"Red water," Sasuke says, because a normal three year old isn't supposed to know of blood, of death. Nevermind that he's not normal, with his new set of memories and all; but his parents don't know that. "So many red water," Fugaku bites back an almost automatic response of 'you mean so much red water', for he, his wife and his son realize what exactly Sasuke meant by red water.
"I-It's so scary, Aniki," Sasuke's voice trembles, not because of deception but true fear—because he, or his past life in that matter, had drowned for real, and the prospect of water—nevermind if it's red, it's still water—terrifies him so badly. "It won't happen, right? Right?"
Itachi is silent, wide eyes staring down at Sasuke's teary, pleading ones before his resolve seems to firm, and he says as much to his brother: "No, Sasuke. You're fine, everyone's fine. I'm going to protect you."
"…Really?"
"Yeah, really."
"Pinky promise!" The child offers his pinky, making Mikoto stifles a smile, albeit how strained it is, and Fugaku to relax—seeing as his eldest son has done damage control—but still, his eyes are sharp, watching them, watching him.
Itachi smiles, a bit sad and maybe a bit haunted—for he saw death already, and when he figures that Sasuke saw something akin to death as well, it suddenly doesn't sit well for him—but offers his own pinky as well anyway.
"Pinky promise."
Sasuke smiles toothily in response.
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They think after Sasuke wakes up, he'll be okay.
He doesn't.
Sasuke experiences so many nightmares, he wakes up screaming loudly until his throat gives up, to the point where Fugaku has to install silencing seals all over the room so the patrolling Uchiha don't come barging into the room anymore. When Itachi settles into the room, it gets better, but still sometimes it comes.
Sasuke is wary of his mother, seemingly to see something else, something absolutely terrifying before he realizes that, oh, I'm staring at mother. Even so, Mikoto and Fugaku find it worrying that he's started to distance herself from Mikoto for some unknown reason, more so when Mikoto realizes that Sasuke is scared of her. Scared, wary—
And hate.
It always disappears when Sasuke realizes, belatedly, that he's staring at Mikoto, and he always apologizes and smiles at her happily afterwards, even sometimes does so much as to hug her to reassure her that nah, that stare of doom is not for you, kaa-chan.
And yet—
He always flinches when someone says the word 'mother', mouth twisting into an almost snarl on that cute face of his.
But when people ask if there is something wrong with Mikoto, Sasuke always looks confused.
For Sasuke, Mikoto is awesome, he says at much.
But 'mother' is Mikoto so why does Sasuke seem to separate the term 'mother' and 'Mikoto' with each other?
Why is he acting this way?
It happens again and again and again and again—
Mikoto is terrified for her son.
What exactly does he see, before he sees Mikoto?
What happened to her son?
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It becomes confusing when Itachi notices Sasuke seems to avoid taking a shower for too long. And isn't that strange, because Itachi can remember Sasuke taking comfort and so much fun in the bathtub where he can play with rubber duckies and other toys.
He used to always drag the older boy to play with him in the bathroom, to bathe him, and yet, Sasuke never asks him that anymore.
He goes to the bathroom in silence and walks out like his ass is on fire.
Or, at least, that's what Shisui said when he saw Sasuke one evening, after another spar he had with Itachi.
Itachi had frowned—pouted, actually, his eight year old face can't seem to do the Uchiha Stare of Doom just yet—at Shisui back then, but he guesses he can see the truth now. Sasuke does go out of the bathroom fairly quickly. He's curious, and borderline concerned, and so he decides to approach the boy.
When Itachi asks if Sasuke will like to play with him again in the bathtub, Sasuke freezes.
With a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, Sasuke says no.
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If it was confusing, it goes downhill pretty fast when the shower breaks a week later, having fallen to the floor in a loud crash in an accident that included Fugaku, Mikoto and the phrase 'bathing together' (they didn't want to explain to Sasuke rather vehemently as to how the shower could possibly break, choosing to simply stare and tilt their heads in that infuriating Uchiha Head Tilt and fake innocent faces), thus forcing the family members to only use the bathtub.
It becomes alarming when Mikoto realizes Sasuke doesn't bathe.
He simply washes his face, his hands and his legs and declares it's done.
Obviously, being a good mother, Mikoto doesn't allow it to happen. When you do missions out of the village, you may not be able to bathe regularly, therefore bathing at home is like a luxury and is one thing that must be appreciated at all times. And Sasuke is her baby, like hell she's going to allow him to forgo bathing altogether. An Uchiha is clean and proper when they're not on missions or spars, and Uchiha Sasuke must be clean when the day ends.
If Shisui sprouts another joke on how Sasuke is on his rebellious dirty boy days, Mikoto is going to set him on fire.
With resolve firmly set in her, she sets out to properly scold Sasuke and bathe him if she must.
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"No!"
"Sasuke, you have to take a bath, now."
"No! You can't make me!"
Mikoto frowns, her hands on her hips as she stares down at her son, Fugaku and Itachi watching her force the youngest member of the household to take a bath.
"I'm your mother, and you will do as I say, young man!"
"I SAID NO, WOMAN!"
A scandalized gasp leaves Mikoto's lips, and Fugaku's lips pull down in a tight frown. The Uchiha Clan Head doesn't like blatant disrespect, and that is what Sasuke is doing right now, to his own mother. And for what? His refusal to take a bath, apparently.
What Fugaku feels at that moment is anger and disappointment at his youngest son, and the need to correct his ways—for a child should never be so disrespectful to his mother, especially when she means well—as well as discipline him surge forward as he scoops the angry shirtless boy to his arms, ignoring the yelp and promptly dumps him into the bathtub.
He doesn't know what to expect.
Maybe to just have Sasuke throw a childish temper tantrum.
Not for him to flail in the bathtub and looks absolutely horrified.
Even years later when Uchiha Itachi is old and so tired of the world, he will never be able to forget that moment when his brother screams, when he seems to be unable to think straight in the water as he flails around and gulps down so much water and he cries out—
"Aniki!"
Itachi is quick to take him out of the water.
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"He wants to kill me too," Sasuke whispers over and over and over as he clings to his brother, his mind telling him that his father is trying to kill him just like her while trying to deny that altogether for his father is not her, his father is not her so why did he leave Sasuke in the water? Why, why, why, why, why—
Behind him, Fugaku stares at the boy, his jaw slack and expression contorting in pain. Itachi thinks he understands: his father hadn't known, and wouldn't have done such thing to Sasuke if he knew how badly Sasuke would take it. His father loves Sasuke, and to see Sasuke like this—
It has got to hurt.
Itachi hugs his brother tighter, frown pulling on his lips as he notices the boy absolute refusal to look at his father… his obviously guilt ridden father.
It'll be better soon, he hopes.
Please make it better soon, he prays.
In the back of his mind, he thinks on how Sasuke said the word 'too'.
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It is to be expected, when a few hours after that incident, Uchiha Fugaku proceeds to barge into the Nara Compound where the Ino-Shika-Cho trio is meeting up in, and Inoichi is floored when he demands the Yamanaka to evaluate his youngest son's state of mind.
"Fugaku-sama, with all due respect, your son is only three."
"Exactly."
"There isn't supposed to be anything wrong with him…?" This isn't war times, and no incidents have happened, as far as they know. The one who got into a traumatic incident is Uchiha Itachi, not Uchiha Sasuke. If Fugaku wants a mental check up, shouldn't it be for Itachi?
"If there isn't anything wrong," Fugaku mutters out, somehow able to sound defeated and haggard while still looking as regal as ever, "I wouldn't have asked you for this favor."
The Ino-Shika-Cho trio looks appropriately concerned.
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When Inoichi comes to the Compound, Sasuke is asleep, and Mikoto is against waking him up so soon, after Sasuke's bout of hysterics.
"Hysterics? What happened?"
"He refused to bathe. Fugaku put him inside the bathtub and he just started screaming," Mikoto lets out a shuddering breath, her hand on top of the sleeping boy's head, caressing his face lovingly.
Inoichi's eyebrows furrow. That… isn't a good sign. Now he knows why Fugaku dragged him here.
"If that is the case, I can only do a surface scan."
"That is better than none."
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Blood.
Blood.
Uchiwa.
The Uchiha Clan symbol.
Uchiha Clan—dead, dead, dead, dead, dead deAD DEAD DEAD
So much death—so much blood it's too much it's too much
Too much dea—
Too much—
Too much—?
Too much—water
Too much water
Water—
Too much—
I can't breathe I can't breathe I c AN T B REA T H E
Mother
Mother
Mother
Why, mother?
Help me
Help me
m e
Why did you leave?
W hy d I d y o u l e a v e?
WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME TO DIE YOU COWARD YOU POOR EXCUSE OF A MOTHER HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU SO MUCH I HOPE YOU DIE
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I don't want to die
Help me
Mommy
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Yamanaka Inoichi pulls out of the sleeping young boy's mind, confused and horrified.
What is it that made him have those kinds of feelings inside of his mind?
The Uchiha Clan is not dead. And he never heard of Uchiha Sasuke drowning. Even if the Clan tries to make it unknown, whispers will reach the entirety of Konoha anyways, with the shinobi being so prone to gossips.
So, what exactly…?
With a shuddering breath—because a child like Sasuke shouldn't have had these kinds of things in his mind in the first place. He's the same age as Ino, and the thought of his little princess violated in such a way similar to how it broke this young boy's mind, well, Inoichi suddenly understands why Fugaku looks so tired and, dare he say, worried—he leans to his chair and sighs.
"Well?" Fugaku inquires, impatient, a foreboding thought looming in his mind as he sees how haggard Inoichi looks like.
"I'm afraid…" Inoichi starts, "I'm afraid someone messed with Sasuke-kun's mind, Fugaku-sama."
Fugaku blanches. Beside him, Mikoto and Itachi have their own share of horrified looks.
"Explain," the Clan Head demands, and Inoichi elaborates.
"It's… probably because of a genjutsu. A really, really strong and specific genjutsu. A child's mind is unable to really fight against a strong genjutsu, and the thing he saw in that genjutsu seems to be… sticking in his memories. It engraved itself into Sasuke-kun's memory, and because of it, Sasuke-kun's thoughts often clash with each other. On one hand, he wants to believe the genjutsu, one that he thinks as his memories, on another hand he denies such thing vehemently based on the real memories he has of his family."
"What genjutsu did he see? Were you able to get that much?"
"Not much, but I think I got enough."
"Tell me."
Inoichi hesitates, "He saw the Uchiha Clan, massacred."
Itachi's eyes widen. His whole family and clan, dead? Sasuke saw that? He remembers Sasuke describing blood, but for the whole Uchiha Clan to be dead—
Itachi suddenly feels cold all over.
Inoichi is not done, however, and Itachi feels horrible enough as it is. What exactly happened to his brother?
"And he was drowning, I think. He kept on repeating on how there was too much water and that he couldn't breathe and—" Inoichi gaze lands on Mikoto, the Yamanaka frowning sadly. "He seems to be under the impression that his mother drowned him."
Mikoto's jaw drops ever so slightly, stepping backward in her shock. The blond shakes his head, "I'm very sorry. Sasuke-kun kept on mentioning on how his mother left him to die in the water, and with that knowledge on how his 'mother' apparently drowned him: he seems to be holding some kind of hatred for his mother." Through all that, Fugaku notices on how Inoichi refrains himself from saying Mikoto's name, for obviously this is bullshit, Mikoto will never hurt Sasuke, much less drown him—
He's getting more and more agitated by the minute.
This genjutsu—it fucks with his son. His son. It's simply unforgiveable. Nobody messes with his family, nobody messes with his clan! First the suspicions on his clan, and now this?
Fugaku is rightfully angry.
"But," Inoichi continues, "I believe there are still some parts of him that loves his mother. He's just… scared, disappointed… angry. Near the end, he… asked for help, and he said 'mommy'. Before that, it was always 'mother'."
The blond man smiles a little, "I'm going to give you some heads up on how you should handle this. It's good enough that Sasuke-kun has enough sense to doubt those genjutsu-based memories, he'd come around."
Fugaku relaxes.
"Please."
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When Inoichi leaves, Fugaku kneels in front of Itachi, and asks, his voice grave.
"Itachi, that night, was your sharingan on?"
"…W-What?"
"Your sharingan. Was it on?"
"Fugaku!" Mikoto scolds, her voice shrill. "You can't possibly be thinking that Itachi put Sasuke under that genjutsu!"
"W-What? I wouldn't—Tou-san, I would never—"
"We both know that a newly acquired sharingan can be unstable, Mikoto," Fugaku grits his teeth, even when he doesn't want to believe it either, doesn't want to even think that Itachi is the cause of all of these. But there were no other people nearby that night; that much he knows of. Only Sasuke and Itachi. And Itachi has the sharingan that can create formidable genjutsu.
"Itachi saw enough death he could've imagined the whole thing and many other death scenarios when he looked at Sasuke in the eyes. With his sharingan."
Itachi freezes, because isn't that exactly what he was doing?
"I—" he croaks out, "I did this… to Sasuke?..."
"Your sharingan was probably unstable, Itachi," his mother is quick to reassure him, kneeling down to hold Itachi's trembling hand, "you didn't mean it to happen. You wouldn't do it voluntarily. I know you won't."
"I… I… I didn't—I didn't know—I didn't want—"
"Itachi," Fugaku calls. "None of us want this to happen again."
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"You're going to train with the sharingan, harder than before, to prevent this from happening ever again."
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"….Yes, father."
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"—Not good control with the Sharingan, I heard—"
"—Put genjutsu on his little brother the very moment he obtained it—"
"—poor kid. That genjutsu is full of carnage, I heard that it's—"
"—Well isn't that great? He can put the enemies down with that terrifying genjutsu and he can—"
"—it's a pity that his first sharingan-based genjutsu is used on his little brother—"
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"At least he's not against using the sharingan anymore. It'd be a pity if he's against using the sharingan after all that happened."
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"So talented, a huge gain for the clan."
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Sasuke figures out the whole predicament in a week, because even the Uchiha Clan members like to gossip, and well…
He feels bad that people seem to think Itachi is the one who put those memories inside of him—in which he thinks that, maybe, Itachi does cast something on him without him knowing; and instead of a genjutsu, it's something that triggered his memories to come back.
But well, he can't possibly tell that to anyone, can he?
So he silently apologizes to his brother, and lets people think that it's Itachi's fault.
At least Itachi's training for the future where he takes the blame for everything else. (He doesn't really think much of the massacre, he doesn't care enough for the massacre, but well, if it comes down to it, he hopes he can save his parents or Shisui, because he used to like Shisui when he was that person who died by drowning. As for the rest of them, well, he doesn't know them, so what the hell).
You take a blame for something you didn't do, and it hurts, but when you take the next, it won't hurt as much, you know?
Or, well, maybe Sasuke's logic is flawed.
Whatever.
At least he still loves his brother.
Just like Severus Snape says, Always.
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In case you haven't realized, Sasuke is a nut case. Well, not as much as Shippuden!Sasuke but you get the point. For those who've read Erasing Impossibility and liked Rin for how Rin is, I gotta warn you. This Sasuke is not Rin's type of person. He's not going to be kind and forgiving and the good friend everyone loves. Sasuke is messed up, and considering how this is a semi SI, he's still going to be messed up. His thoughts are a mess enough as it is. I think he's going to be even worse sometime in the future.
To what extent, though, we'll figure it out along the ride sometime later.
Marshmallows for your thoughts?