An Awkward, First Something

by talkstopaintings

[Modern AU] Elsa and Anna, college classmates, begin a tentative, awkward relationship. Memories, expectations, and self-worth — this is a first for them both.

18. A Gray, Morning Reunion

A/N: As always I'm terribly sorry for long delays between chapters. If you've been keeping up with Sunshine then you know that I've actually been busy as of late with unforeseen issues. And if you haven't, well now you know! I know I've been terribly slow in updating and I've yet to respond to reviews for a while (which I plan to do so eventually, since I know some of you have questions especially pertaining to this story), but I really want to stress that things are just really tight right now, especially with my mental health being what it is currently. That said, I'm still going to continue writing. If any of you are ever curious about the status of my writing, you can always check my tumblr (located in my bio page). I go by the same URL (talkstopaintings) as I do here.

---

Now without further ado, enjoy!

"Anna? Hey Anna. A-are you awake yet?"

Yeah, but I don't really want to be.

"I was wondering if you wanted to join the girls and I for breakfast."

She wanted to and yet she didn't want to. She wasn't even sure if she could get out of bed right now. Her night had been long and restless.

"Come on Anna. You need to eat. You skipped out on pizza last night. You sure you wouldn't mind even a bagel? A donut? Twinkie?"

Anna finally opened her eyes. Immediately, she was met with her dorm room wall, her nose just inches away from it. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder and up into the concerned green eyes of her cousin.

Rapunzel grimaced. She dropped her hands from her hips and sat on Anna's bed. "Oh Anna," Rapunzel mumbled, reaching over to brush unkempt bangs from the redhead, "you look even worse than you did yesterday."

I feel worse than yesterday.

"Sorry Punz," Anna mumbled, eyes fluttering shut at the soft touch of her cousin's hand. "I don't really feel like going out right now."

Rapunzel sighed and Anna opened her eyes when she heard the older woman scoot closer. The brunette's hand returned to stroking her forehead. "Did you have another bad dream?"

Bad dream?

Dreams.

A chronic thing. An on-and-off thing she'd had for years, since she was young. They could be gone for lengthy periods of time, but they resurfaced in the end.

This time though...

Anna worried her bottom lip. It had been much more like a vague, near-dreamless sleep. Except she'd been surrounded by dark shapes, stomach twisting and turning. And it had been cold. Very cold. She had been shaking, eyes wide, staring into the dark.

One of the shapes had hovered at her side before slowly drifting away.

For some reason, she'd tried to call it back. But her mouth hadn't worked and her cries had been silent. It had gone and she'd been left alone.

Until Rapunzel's voice had woken her up.

Anna's stomach clenched. Her eyes flicked up to see that Rapunzel had been regarding her carefully. She grimaced and nodded awkwardly.

"Y-yeah, I had another dream," she said, tugging a lock of hair behind her ear. Her cousin visibly relaxed, likely relieved from her open confession.

"About school or something else?" Rapunzel gently pressed.

Anna shook her head. "No, not about that." She felt a finger gently brush her temple.

"You know they can't hurt you anymore, right?"

The whisper felt like a worm twisting painfully in her chest.

"I know," Anna mumbled, eyes still downcast.

She knew her cousin was reiterating words that professionals, family, and friends had told her when the after effects of Rapunzel's childhood had started cropping up. After running away from her mother and coming across Eugene, Rapunzel had started a lifelong journey of self-recovery after meeting her birth parents and getting professional help. But Anna knew her cousin was aware that words could only do so much.

She released a breath and let go of her braid. "But that's not what this is about."

There was a short pause. A moment where Anna could tell that it had stopped raining outside.

Rapunzel curled her legs up next to her and settled more comfortably next to Anna. "Do you want to talk about it?" She brushed aside Anna's bangs once more, green eyes soft. "You said you had another dream the other night too."

Anna averted her gaze, mentally cringing that her cousin had remembered that. I was hoping she didn't. She turned back over onto her side and stared at the wall, gripping her pillow. "Not really," she mumbled.

Rapunzel's hand stilled on her head and Anna knew she was grinding her teeth, trying to think of how to approach the situation without overstepping her boundaries.

"You skipped out on pizza last night."

Anna flinched, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip. She curled tighter into herself, staring at the wall. Her muscles tensed when Rapunzel drew her hand back.

"Anna, what's going on? Something's bothering you," Rapunzel whispered. Anna felt her lean in closer and she flinched again in response. "You were back a lot earlier than we thought you'd be, but you..." She trailed off and spent just a few seconds stroking Anna's head. "Did something happen between you and Elsa last night?"

Anna tensed. "No."

She winced at her fast reply.

Yeah Punzie is definitely going to believe me after that.

Rapunzel sighed and gently tugged on her shoulder. Anna bit her lip before rolling onto her back. Her gaze remained on the wall until a few fingers brushed her cheek. Anna turned to stare into her cousin's worried eyes.

Rapunzel frowned. "What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," Anna mumbled. That was the entirety of her problem. Nothing and something had happened. Elsa's sudden withdrawal confused her.

Rapunzel leaned back and crossed her arms. "I don't believe that. You're obviously upset about something and what else could it have been if it wasn't about Elsa?"

Anna winced and wringed her fingers together. "Plenty of things. Stress. It's almost finals and those are always stressful."

"Yeah, but you're a better student than most people think you are," Rapunzel rebutted. Her frown turned into a glare. "So it's obviously not that. And besides, if it was just finals, you're more than welcome to ask me for help."

"Work," Anna said, eyes darting back and forth. "It's tiring standing at the register sometimes. My feet get sore and then I have to deal with all the cranky customers."

"But you're a sweetheart," Rapunzel pointed out, "and the only time you tell me that your boss complains about you is when you fall or break something. It's rarely about a customer blowing their head off at you."

"There was that one time with—"

"One time Anna," her cousin cut her off with a sharp gesture of her hand, brow furrowed. "The pig accident doesn't count. You're dodging the question. What's going on?"

Anna stared at the ceiling. "I haven't really been sleeping well."

Rapunzel's expression softened. She dropped her arms back to her sides and sidled up next to Anna until her hip was touching the redhead's shoulders.

"Sure you don't want to talk about it?" she asked softly.

Anna shook her head, chest seizing briefly.

"You know it's okay if you and Elsa are having problems right?" Rapunzel's whisper made her want to curl up again. "Me and Eugene don't always see eye to eye. Especially in the early parts of our relationships, he was such a pessimist and I was very naive."

Anna laughed, short and dry. She nudged Rapunzel's leg with her elbow. "I bet not as naive as I was."

And still am?

She chewed on her bottom lip.

Rapunzel shot her a look, green eyes wide and worried. "Oh, Anna is that what this is all about?"

"No," Anna said and again, her response was too quick. Rapunzel narrowed her eyes slightly. Anna fiddled with the end of one braid, looking down at her fingertips. "Yes. Maybe. I don't know?"

"Were you thinking about him last night?" Rapunzel asked.

She wanted to say no. She wanted to say yes. She didn't want to say anything at all, but the question hit the nail on the head. Between trying to get Elsa to open up to her and trying not to panic herself, Anna had been reeling from flashbacks of her relationship with Hans. This time they had all been from the end of her break-up with him—more specifically, her last anniversary with him.

She wasn't sure what had caused the throwback of memories. But for some reason, in Elsa's house, she had been transplanted back to the room with Hans and the rest of his family. Once, at dinner. Then, a point in time when Hans had surprised her with an emerald necklace as a gift. And another time where she'd been overlooking the celebration at his side.

Anna squeezed her eyes shut.

At least I didn't end up remembering the end of the party while I was at Elsa's. What would I have done if I did?

"Anna?"

Anna opened her eyes to see Rapunzel worriedly looking down at her.

Oh crap.

Her continued silence had unnerved her cousin.

Rapunzel wrung her hands in her lap. "Are you okay? Was it what I said? I'm sorry Anna, I know you don't like it when everyone asks you about Hans, but I felt like I needed to." Rapunzel's hand moved up and Anna noticed her instinctively reach up for a certain lock of hair behind her ear. "I mean, I'm concerned Anna."

Anna flinched, feeling a twinge of guilt at upsetting her cousin and averted her gaze. "I just had some bad dreams about him Punzie, that's all."

Rapunzel paled and opened her mouth. "Anna—"

Anna cut her off. "They're dreams Punzie. They come and go. You know I had that weird phase after high school? That eventually went away. These ones will too." She rolled over onto her side, muttering, "It's just stress, that's all it is. Stress."

Rapunzel was silent behind her. Anna heard her shift, then speak.

"I'm just scared you'll get in a bad way again. When Kristoff told me about everything in school, I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone hurt you again," Rapunzel whispered. Anna heard the lump in her throat. "But then you met Hans and we both know how that turned out. I don't want to see you hurt again after a break up like that."

It shot straight to Anna's heart. Her eyes watered.

"I know you say you're over him and I believe you on that, but..."

She trailed off and Anna's stomach twisted.

I am, I am. God, I am over Hans. I hate the bastard.

A hand reached over and gently squeezed her arm. "I think what you've got with Elsa here is a really good thing, but talk to me if something is wrong? Please?"

Anna swallowed and gave a tiny nod. Rapunzel sighed in relief. There was a movement on her bed and before Anna knew it, she felt her cousin press against her back and wrap her arms around her. She jerked her head back, blue looking into green in surprise.

"Aren't you going out with the others?" she asked and mentally kicked herself when her voice came out hoarse.

"Not until you fess up," Rapunzel replied. She placed her chin on Anna's shoulders and interlaced one of her hands with Anna's. "Come on now, let's hear it. What's going on?" she said more softly.

Anna turned back to her wall, swallowing the lump in in her throat. "I don't really want to talk much Punzie." The warmth at her back shifted and she rubbed her cheek against her pillow. "Well, I do. But not now."

Rapunzel sighed heavily behind her. They laid there in silence for a bit. Anna was sorely tempted to urge her cousin to just leave her in bed and go out with their friends. Then Rapunzel spoke up, tentatively asking, "Think you could at least tell me if this is about Hans or Elsa?"

Anna went cold. The warmth left her in a rush. Even the warmth of her bed seemed to disappear. She didn't want to admit what happened between her and Elsa for fear her cousin—and by extension the rest of her friends—would redirect their worry and frustration at the blonde.

And God knows Elsa doesn't deserve to be accused of something she didn't do. I don't even know how much of a problem this is or if it even is a problem. For all I know it's not and I'm just being an overdramatic baby!

But she was confused and hurt this morning. Very, very confused. Elsa hadn't returned her calls at all. Her nightly messages had been left unanswered.

Sighing, Anna mumbled, "Our anniversary didn't go as planned."

Rapunzel tensed behind her. "Oh Anna," she whispered, tightening her hold around the redhead's waist, "I-I had a feeling that might have been the case. When I got back and saw you home already, I wondered why you were in bed so early. I kind of figured something happened between you and Elsa, but I didn't want to assume."

The softness and hesitancy in her words made Anna's heart throb. She pushed back the prickling behind her eyes and clutched Rapunzel's hand.

"But you hadn't even changed out of your clothes s-so—" Her voice faltered. "I'm sorry Anna. Did you want to talk about it?"

No, still no.

Anna shook her head and patted her cousin's hand. "It's okay Punzie. Sometimes things just come up. You know how it is."

I just wish I knew what that something was and that she'd return my messages.

Rapunzel placed a soft kiss to her cheek. It tingled, but the warmth left behind was accompanied by a feeling of dread.

"Don't worry Anna," Rapunzel said, voice full of conviction. "You and Elsa will get through whatever rough spot you're having right now."

Anna nodded, but continued staring at her dorm wall. She hadn't told Rapunzel everything and her cousin knew that. She wasn't the best at keeping secrets. Eventually they would catch up to her.

Just give it a rest today.

---

The lack of a bustling crowd at the airport only served to worsen her spirits.

Sundays were usually lazy days, which meant people preferred to stay inside. That, combined with the increasingly cold weather, meant the airport was relatively empty.

Anna stood on the terminal in a pair of jeans and her letterman jacket, shaking as she waited for the arrivals to get off the airplane. She had her eye on the spot where Kristoff would be coming through, thoughts jumping back and forth as she tried to decide on what she would say to him when he finally appeared.

She hadn't seen him in so long.

She should have been excited for his return. Even before he had become her older brother, Kristoff had been her friend first and foremost. She could still clearly recall his face when she'd seen him that day on the orphanage playground. She had never seen the tall and lanky blonde teenager before so she had approached the wired fence with nervous excitement. Kristoff had been hunched over a new phone, large fingers holding it tightly in his tattered gloved hands. She had appeared behind him, so happy at seeing a new face that her broken arm had trembled in its sling.

Anna smiled slightly at the memory, eyes misting. Their first meeting had been so awkward, especially since she had startled him out of the blue.

That and I probably looked really, really bad with that black eye. Matron said I kept scaring everyone because of how bad it was.

A few people passed her by, talking amicably as they met up with friends or family. She blinked, watching them go absentmindedly. "I wonder if Kristoff's flight got delayed," she mumbled.

A glance at her wristwatch revealed that he should have landed ten minutes ago, but she hadn't received a text message from him yet. Anna slumped against the wall and stared at her feet. Her stomach was in knots and although she didn't want to admit it, it wasn't solely because of Kristoff's late appearance. She brushed her fingers over her phone in her pocket.

Elsa still hasn't messaged me back.

Anna sighed and drew a circle with her toe on the tiled floor. She had resisted the urge to check her phone every five minutes after waking up. She had hoped there would be some change since yesterday, but so far Elsa had yet to respond to her.

Maybe I should send her another text? Or would that be too clingy?

She chewed on her bottom lip. "Rapunzel said I should just give it time." Her eyes drifted up, flicking over the people coming and going. "I need to be patient..."

A commotion in front finally drew her attention. Anna stiffened, lips parting. A crowd of men were headed in her direction. She saw black hair, brown, red, and variations. The majority were dressed casually, but some of them had dark blue jackets lined with crimson along the cuffs and collars. A dark red stag was printed along the right side of the jackets. She bet if one of them turned around Anna would see the "Reindeers" printed on the back.

Slowly, Anna's eyes widened and she craned her neck up, lifting herself onto the tips of her toes. Her throat went dry and her heart began to thunder in her rib cage. Her hands shook in her pockets and the hum of the airport terminal seemed to increase to absurd levels.

Where is—

Her eyes caught a glimpse of fine, dark blonde hair at the back of the pack. She recognized the stance, the slightly hunched over form and broad shoulders. She recognized it even from this distance, despite the fact that her view of him was obscured by several other guys. She even swore her nose got a whiff of his body odor, that strange mix of deodorant, dog hair, and sweat that was unmistakably his.

Anna hiccuped, eyes wet.

She lunged forward. Her back left the wall in a blurred motion and her shoes echoed in the terminal as she raced towards the group.

"Kristoff!"

Between the crowd of jackets and excited chatter, she saw brown eyes look up and hone in on her.

Anna nearly fell to the floor as her feet slipped from under her, sneakers skidding along the tiles. A few of the hockey players at the front recognized her.

"Yo, Anna!"

"Hey, look who's here!"

"Kristoff, one of your thousand siblings is here to pick you up!"

The group burst into laughter while she squeezed through them. She fumbled to the back of the crowd and they let her go. Anna skidded to a halt, blinking furiously at the tall young man before her.

Kristoff stood there, one eyebrow quirked up and a bag slung over his shoulder. Like some of his teammates, he was wearing a letterman jacket, the stag showing proud and strong on the dark blue.

She hiccuped again.

Then the bemused look on his face morphed into a knowing smirk. Kristoff dropped his bag to the ground and opened his arms. "Long time no see feistypants."

Anna sniffed, shoulders bunching up to her ears and hands balling into fists at her sides. Her wrists shook and her voice quivered a bit as she spoke. "You're h-home."

Kristoff's expression softened and he opened his arms even a bit wider. "Yeah. I'm home."

A lump formed in her throat and her chest tightened at the warmth in his voice. Anna threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his body and burying her face in his broad chest. She felt him do the same, tugging her close and letting her feet slump along the floor with how hard he was holding her.

"I missed you," Anna said with a noise between a choke and a sob. The back of her eyes burned and she felt moisture prickle the corners. "I-I'm so glad you're back," she spluttered, rubbing her face against his shirt. She was positive she was getting snot and tears on the fabric, but she couldn't have cared less.

"I wasn't gone for that long," Kristoff grunted in her ear, voice thick.

Anna sniffed. A shiver ran down her spine when she felt him bury his nose in her shoulder. "Yes you were you big dork. You were gone for like months." A tear trickled down her cheek. A large hand threaded through her hair and stroked the back of her head. "You owe me stories," Anna mumbled. "Lots of stories."

Kristoff laughed wetly in her ear. He tugged her a little closer, nodding. "Not even here for ten minutes and already you're bossing me around," he grumbled.

Anna laughed. Or tried to. It came out sounding more like a gurgle. But still, despite her worries, she laughed. She moved her hands from his back to his chest, clutching the front of his shirt. She snuggled as physically close as possible.

Kristoff chuckled, though it sounded hoarse and scratchy.

"God, I missed you so much Anna."

Anna's eyes screwed shut. Kristoff shifted her closer. She felt something swell within her chest.

The weight that had been piling on her shoulders for months—the stress of exams, her job, the dreams, her exciting and fumbling relationship with Elsa—all seemed to crumble. It fell away from her like debris from a landslide, making her feel as light as air. Or maybe that was just because Kristoff held her up nearly a foot off the ground, his face buried in her shoulder and hers in his hair. She could smell his pine tree shampoo.

It felt like it had been longer than an out of state trip. It felt like it had been ages since she'd been wrapped up in Kristoff's bear-armed embrace. All too suddenly she was fifteen years old again, being held by her big older brother, her best friend, and confidant as he comforted her. Of course back then it had been school bullies. Very different from the present, but the effect was all the same. Her shoulders shook and she felt Kristoff tense around her. Slowly, he placed her back on the ground. She buried her face in his chest again.

"Anna—?"

Anna shook her head furiously. She didn't dare open her eyes. Not yet. "Don't ask," she mumbled. Snot and phlegm plugged her nose and throat. Tears trickled hotly down her cheeks and stung her eyes. "Just hold me for right now?"

There was a short pause before Kristoff answered.

"You're so dramatic."

She managed a tiny giggle. She could taste snot on her tongue. And salt. Her tears were still spilling down her cheeks. She couldn't stop herself from crying softly into Kristoff's chest.

"Anna?" She let out a choked sob at hearing him saying her name, so close and clear in her ears. It was so much better than talking over the phone. Kristoff sniffed and began to walk towards the airport exit. Although with the way Anna clung to him, hiccuping and sniffing into his chest, he only ended up succeeding in waddling a few steps. Kristoff laughed. "Hey Anna, come on, let's move. I can't get out of here until you let go of me."

"Sure you can!" Anna slurred. Her eyes were still shut, but she moved to place her chin on his shoulder. "You're just gonna have to carry me all the way back to my truck."

"God, you really are as bossy and pushy as ever," he grumbled.

She could practically feel him rolling his eyes, but instead of responding, Anna just pushed her nose into his neck. She sniffed, clinging to him. Kristoff reached up and patted her head roughly. He cleared his throat, or tried to. His voice still came out rough and she wondered if he was crying as much as she was.

"If you don't move your skinny butt right now, I'm going to have to take drastic measures."

Anna snorted and blew a very wet raspberry. He balked at the proximity.

"Ugh, Anna!"

She giggled even as he wiped his cheek on her shoulder. Anna didn't relax her grip however. Instead, she nuzzled into him and sighed softly. Her eyes were stinging from the tears that continued to bead at the corners. Kristoff huffed.

"Alright, drastic measures it is."

Anna shrieked as she was lifted off her feet again. Kristoff grunted as he hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and placed her against his other one.

"Hey, hey! Kristoff put me down!" She kicked her legs in the air as he headed for the airport exit. "Seriously Kris! I'm not little anymore!"

A deep voice responded in kind, laughing, "Could have fooled me with how puny you are!"

Anna puffed up her cheeks and glanced over her shoulder. "Shut up Gaston!" she yelled. He only laughed harder in response and she slumped against Kristoff's back, groaning. "Whatever, just laugh at me."

Her earlier worries and stress dropped on her like an iron weight.

Please don't let him notice. Please don't let him notice—

She was jerked suddenly as the hand around her waist pulled her off. Anna squeaked as Kristoff set her down. On instinct, she grinned up at him.

Only for her smile to waver when she recognized the familiar look in his brown eyes. Anna laughed once, nervous, and rubbed her left bicep.

"Something's wrong."

Yeah, of course he'd notice.

Anna shrugged, averting her eyes to stare at the spot between their feet. "Well, okay, Gaston's not exactly wrong. I mean I'm not much different than when I was in high school. Oh, except for my knobby knees! Er, wait, that was in middle school. But the point is I've always been a bit on the scrawnier side—"

Kristoff's hand clasped her shoulder. He gave her a gentle squeeze and she looked up, biting her lip. "Anna, c'mon tell me, something's wrong."

Anna sighed, shoulders slumping. "How do you do that? Instantly know when something's not right."

Kristoff chuckled and smirked. "Raised by love experts gloomy pants."

She huffed, crossing her arms. "Why couldn't Mom and Dad give that ability to me too?"

Kristoff wrapped one arm around her and brought her in for another hug, snickering and saying, "Come on, let's get out of here."

She sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his dark blue jacket. Together, the two of them walked towards the airport exit. The rest of his team were meeting up with either friends or relatives. She recognized a few of them. A tall young man with light brown hair was waiting at the front entrance by himself, and triplets nearby bounced excitedly on their toes. If Anna was correct, they were waiting for their uncle. She saw Gaston surrounded by three blonde women and felt her chest tighten at the sight.

Elsa remained at the back of her mind. No matter what she did or who she was with, the other woman was like a cloud above her head. In contrast to the warm and fluttery feeling she had experienced at the start of their relationship, Anna felt something squeeze her insides.

"So, have you been eating your five basic food groups?"

Anna bit the inside of her cheek, ducking her head when she felt Kristoff glance at her suspiciously. "I have," she mumbled. A blush bloomed on her cheeks. She could feel Kristoff's stare boring into her. Anna shrugged slightly. "When I had time or remembered..."

"Is that the reason you've lost weight?"

She refrained from groaning. The blonde man had always been so blunt. Instead of answering right away, Anna glanced at his luggage. "Do you need help with your bags?"

He glanced at his duffel bag and shook his head. "No, I'm good. Besides you look like you're about to fall over."

She laughed once and pushed down the coiling feeling in her stomach. "I've just been stressed," she said without thinking. Immediately, she regretted it. Anna cringed when she felt Kristoff tense next to her.

"Stressed?" he asked when they were within feet of the exit doors.

Anna nodded quickly, chewing on her bottom lip. "Yeah, stressed."

Fix this Anna. Don't let this reunion go south. Kristoff just got back. Don't be a big baby and run crying to him. You're not a kid anymore.

She fiddled with her fingers, stammering, "I-it's just been school, you know? You guys came back when exams are all over us. And you know professors. They all think they're the only ones giving out assignments. And with work and the weather, things have been so hectic around here. With the upcoming play and everything too..." Anna paused and glanced up. "I've just been kind of swamped?"

Kristoff frowned and then looked around. Her stomach twisted.

He's looking for—

"Are you alone?"

Her phone felt like it was burning a hole in her pocket.

Anna swallowed and stared at her sneakers, eyeing a loose lace. "I- well, I'm not really alone."

"You're not?" Kristoff sounded confused. She didn't have to look up from the spot on the floor to know he was searching the airport. "Er, then you're going to have to point her out to me."

Scratch that, he was definitely confused.

And Anna wasn't sure how to tell him that just a few days ago, she and Elsa had been doing great and now they weren't. She grabbed the end of one braid, eyes downcast.

"Anna?" Kristoff squeezed her shoulders.

"Can we talk at the car?" she mumbled. Before he could protest, Anna stared up at him with large, blue-green eyes. "I'd prefer to talk, uh, somewhere else."

Kristoff narrowed his eyes and she could see his jaw working. That's the lecture face. Definitely the lecture face. Or maybe the "serious talk" face. Either way, definitely not a good face. Not now.

Kristoff ground his teeth and retracted his arm. Anna missed the contact almost immediately. She bit her lip and fiddled with her braid as he crossed his arms.

"Anna what's going on?"

Anna winced, glancing outside to the cars coming and going. Around her, people walked in or out. She could hear a few muttering into their phones, complaining about the weather or the flight plans. The hair on the back of Anna's neck rose. She pushed her arms tighter into her sides.

"I, uh," Anna struggled to get her mouth working and her tongue moving, face heating up, "I might have decided to- to come..." A lump was stuck in her throat. She forced it down, eyes a bit wet. "Alone."

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

Kristoff's face softened. Anna averted her gaze just as he wrapped his arm around her again and began to pull her out of the airport. They stumbled for a moment before Anna buried her face in his side, pushing down the tears that threatened to spill again. Her older brother rubbed the back of her head, whispering, "Hey, hey, it's okay Anna." When she just nodded wordlessly, he tucked her deeper into the crook of his arm and muttered, "Okay, yeah, car. Now."

They stepped out into the crisp December air. The rain had let up Saturday morning and hadn't come back since. However, the taste of moisture and the smell of damp asphalt and cement clung to the slight breeze. Anna felt the cold sink into her skin and bones despite the warmth of her green jacket. She sniffed and pushed against Kristoff's side, seeking the sturdiness of his support and warmth.

The parking lot was half-empty. Actually even less than that. The gray clouds overhead cast everything in a one-note color. It made Anna's shoulders sag.

Kristoff's home, but the day can't get any worse.

Fortunately, Anna's truck wasn't far. The red pick-up had been cleaned yesterday, both outside and in, to make room for Kristoff's luggage.

Anna fumbled for her keys and went to unlock the passenger door.

"Mind telling me what's really going on with you?"

Nevermind, today can get worse.

Her hands shook as she slipped metal into metal, unlocking the door and swinging it open. "Nothing's wrong," Anna said, shoulders hunched. Kristoff frowned at her, but threw his duffel bag into the back when she gestured. Anna ran a hand through her hair and grinned awkwardly.

"It just ended up being me today," she said, shrugging.

Kristoff quirked an eyebrow. "Just you?"

Anna's stomach sunk to the pavement. Her smile dropped and she gulped, throat bobbing. A wave of heat—despite the winter chill—washed over her.

Kristoff caught on quickly. "Anna, wait. Forget that."

He moved to hug her again, but she turned abruptly to her car, clambering into the driver's seat instead of walking around her truck. "Yeah, just me," she said, voice high and strained to her own ears.

Kristoff frowned at her, concern flickering in his eyes. He climbed into the passenger seat and shut the door. The slam made Anna cringe.

"What happened? I thought you were going to introduce me to Elsa."

Straight and to the point. Definitely Kristoff.

Despite the fact that she hadn't revved the engine yet, Anna gripped the steering wheel. Her knuckles turned white under the strain and she chewed the inside of her cheek, mulling over her words.

"I, well, something happened."

Kristoff stared at her, face blank. "Obviously..."

"Before, you know, we were going to meet you both here," Anna started, "but things changed last minute."

Kristof nodded, brow furrowing. "We've established that already Anna. Just tell me what's wrong?"

Anna squeezed the steering wheel, turning her head to stare out at the gray skies and cold parking lot. A white minivan backed out and drove away. She tensed when a large hand gently grasped her shoulder.

"Anna?" Kristoff's voice was soft again, tentative. "You know you can tell me anything."

Anna turned her chin slightly, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

"Promise you won't get mad?"

Kristoff snorted in surprise, eyes widening. "What? No, I won't get mad."

"Promise?" she asked, turning big, blue-green eye on him. "You promise you won't get all overprotective, big brotherly on me this one time?"

"Anna, I—"

Anna brushed back her bangs, feeling a hot flash of embarrassment on the back of her neck. "Because this isn't what you think."

"Anna."

She was avoiding his question. Stalling, to be precise. She knew that. She was trying to dodge the incoming conversation.

"This isn't even what I think it is."

She gestured in the air, frowning. The spaces between her fingers felt empty.

"Anna."

The hand on her shoulder shook her, trying vainly to get her attention. But her mouth continued to move and her eyes kept darting from side to side.

"I mean, s-something came up. Something came up and she couldn't make it. It's okay though, you can meet her later. Once we work out everything—" we will right? Yeah of course, "—I'll introduce you to her. Just please, please, please be sensitive here Kristoff. She—"

A tug on her shoulder drew Anna's attention at last. She faced him just in time to see his gaze harden. "Your girlfriend's a no-show," he said simply.

The words cut right through her.

"Kristoff."

"What?" he quipped, frowning. "Am I wrong?" Kristoff's dark eyes flashed and he leaned back in the passenger seat, crossing his arms. "Because I distinctly remember a promise that I would meet a certain Miss Elsa Arendelle today. Who, if I'm correct, is supposedly a wonderful girlfriend. But she isn't here and you're hiding something from me. That doesn't make her look like a good person here."

Anna's shoulders slumped and she sighed heavily, eyelids drooping. "Kristoff," she said, exasperated with the undertone of anger and protectiveness in his voice, "you've only talked to her once. It's not fair to judge her so quickly on this. Especially when you don't know what happened between her and me."

He opened his mouth to protest when Anna shot him a glare.

"Don't," she hissed through gritted teeth. Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Kristoff, I know you. I know that right now, more than anything, you probably want to march to wherever Elsa is and shake some 'sense' into her, but—"

"Well of course I do. First thing I notice is that your girlfriend made you cry," Kristoff huffed, rolling his eyes.

"But," Anna growled, trying to keep the sudden flare of anger down, "that's not going to help matters right now."

When his scowl dropped in response, she softened. Anna reached over and tugged on his crossed arms. She slipped her fingers into one of his large hands, gently entangling them together and pulled. Kristoff blinked, confused.

Anna smiled slightly. "Trust me?"

Kristoff stared down to where she had caught his index finger between hers and her thumb. The difference in sizes was even more apparent in the tiny interior of the truck he had given her. His lips twitched and for a moment Anna thought he was going to grimace and pull away.

Then a deep and low growl sprung forth into the air.

Kristoff's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He blinked owlishly and Anna mimicked the action. The tension in the air all but dissipated as the two stared at each other.

"I think that was my—"

Anna's stomach rumbled a second time. She blushed darkly, coughing into her free hand.

"You still sound like a bottomless pit," Kristoff dead-panned.

"Hey!"

He laughed and Anna's shoulders loosened. She smiled in spite of her embarrassment and a warm glow swelled in her chest when he firmly gripped her hand. "Okay, just laugh at me you big jerk jock."

There was no bite to her words however. Anna's smile turned warm and loving as Kristoff tried to control his snorts. Her eyes glinted though when Kristoff's face turned red from exertion.

"See?" Anna giggled. "Justice."

"Brat," Kristoff panted as he finally calmed down. He scooted closer to her. Anna smiled like an adoring teenager when Kristoff brushed back her fringe and ruffled her hair. "Okay, let's go something to eat first."

The redhead bit her lip, glancing sideways. "And then I guess we'll talk?"

"Sandwiches first. You really do look on the skinny side."

---

It was well past ten in the morning. A glance at her alarm clock confirmed this. The numbers glowed back at her obnoxiously, doing nothing to alleviate her mood. Even without the constant pitter-patter and gray of rain, her apartment was somber and dull.

What a wonderful day...

Elsa turned away from her alarm clock and continued staring at her window, blue eyes boring holes into the glass. Meg had drawn back the curtains an hour ago. Elsa had protested at first, but her roommate had been insistent on it.

"God damn it Elsa, you need some sunlight. Some sunshine or something. It sucks to see you sit and lay in the gloom and doom all day. At least let me pull back the curtains? You can keep the light off if you want, but some natural light might do you some good."

Personally, Elsa really would have preferred to just lay in bed within the dark sanctity of her room. She didn't feel like seeing anyone or getting any natural light. The pale, weak sky light hadn't convinced her either. But the rational side of her brain knew that Meg was right and the heavy atmosphere would only worsen her depression.

Not like it makes a huge difference though.

Elsa sighed heavily through her nose and pulled her blanket tightly around her. Despite Meg's best efforts—and her own efforts—she hadn't found the energy to get out of bed, let alone do anything but vainly try to sleep. She hadn't gotten up to shower despite her usual early morning routine. Her hair was still in the braid she had done up yesterday. Several strands stuck out and splayed onto her pillow. Without looking in a mirror, she knew her face looked pale. She hadn't bothered with the comforting routine of applying her make-up. She hadn't even eaten. Hunger was a distant thing. Earlier her stomach had growled and she had barely noticed.

A tingle ran down her spine.

Elsa looked over her shoulder. Her phone lay on her nightstand, untouched and still.

"I'm here for you Elsa—"

Elsa jerked her gaze away and pushed her face into her pillow, fingers like claws.

Stop. Please stop.

She hadn't touched her cell ever since she had received Anna's messages. The series of texts had left her speechless and prone. She closed her eyes, fighting back the fresh onslaught of tears. She had done enough crying by now.

She's here for me, but I'm not here for her.

Her unbidden thoughts brought a new wave of guilt.

Elsa whined and bit her lip. "Why did it have to end up like this?"

And there you go again. Wallowing in self-pity.

She tried to shake the thoughts away, but they only sunk in between the crevices of her mind.

Instead of moping around and feeling sorry for yourself, you could try calling her Elsa.

"It's not that easy," Elsa whispered. Her eyes fluttered shut. "It's not as easy as people make it out to be. I can't just shut off these feelings."

What happened to "Conceal, don't feel?"

She sucked in a breath. Her father's mantra rang in her head.

In truth, she hadn't been using it as much as before. Her choice to pursue a relationship with Anna had freed her spirit somewhat. Allowed the constrictions on her person to loosen and widen.

She had simply forgotten.

The return of the mantra soured her mood even further.

Elsa lifted her head and looked over at her phone again. Her fingers itched. She pressed them deeper into the pillow. The urge to scratch and pick at her hands and wrists was coming back.

But another urge, an unfamiliar one, was fighting for her attention as well.

She wanted to talk to Anna.

Elsa was positive that her girlfriend was waiting restlessly for a callback. She probably expected a proper explanation from Elsa. Hoped for an explanation. Anna had obviously been so confused by the turn of events.

And me not answering probably reinforces the idea that she's at fault.

Elsa gritted her teeth and turned back on her side again. She closed her eyes, unable to face the light from her window, but also unwilling to lay in the direction of her cell phone. The silence of her room was a comfort and a torture. She could distantly hear the rush of traffic below in the streets, but her apartment, her room—her haven—the silence was her companion. Left alone, Elsa found the solace she desired to mull over her own thoughts. The very thoughts that continued to run over and over again in circles, pointing out the obvious course her actions should take.

"I want to talk to her," Elsa mumbled into her pillow. It was cool against her cheek. "I need to talk to her, but—"

But.

But—

"I'm afraid," Elsa whispered. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

I don't want Anna to think I'm...abnormal. I don't want her to look at me and see me differently.

She didn't want Anna to judge her.

Diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression at a young age, Elsa was all too familiar with people judging her. She had been eight. Eight when her parents had found a suitable doctor to get to the root of her "problems."

"Is that what's wrong with our daughter?"

"Darling, this isn't her fault. Elsa can't control the way she feels. Don't judge so harshly."

She didn't want Anna to judge her.

Judge her like she had been judged every time she had set foot in a new school. Judged her like every other person had judged her when she had walked the halls to her classroom, books pressed tightly to her chest and clothes concealing as much of her as possible. Concealing skin that sagged around her waist or legs. Concealing splotches of red around her wrists or hands.

She had tried to hide as much as possible growing up. Hide behind her books and clothes. Hide the fact that every student she met made her shake with every glance. Hide that the fact that her skin crawled every time a business associate of her father's, or a son of said associate, entered her personal space.

She didn't want Anna to change her opinion of her in the same way everyone else had. In the same way her parents had—subtly, but surely—changed their opinion of her.

And therein lay all her troubles.

Elsa knew her parents had loved her. Of that, she had no doubt. After the official diagnosis, they had bought the best of what money could buy. Extensive therapy and counseling. Medication to help her function with her anxiety, depressive moods, withdrawn behavior, scratching, worrying, everything. The most well-versed doctors in the field had been at their leisure and they had researched to the best of their abilities what they could do for her.

But above everything, she had still needed to keep up appearances for the benefit of her family name. She'd sat at large dinner tables when she wanted to hide away in her room. She had met young man after man when she didn't want to touch anyone. She had attended classes when she could barely get out of bed.

And Elsa had stowed away strange, confusing feelings when girls her age had caught her attention. Long or short hair. Painted fingernails and swirling skirts. Giggles and coy smiles. Elsa had shoved the thoughts down in her teenage years.

"I like girls..."

Because she knew there were certain expectations of her as the first and only child of her family and therefore her father's heiress.

It had ultimately been the dividing point in the relationship between her and her parents. They had never vocally expressed any distaste or dislike towards her when she had come out. Her father had been eerily calm when she came out and her mother hesitant but loving.

But.

"It's just a dinner with Mr. Southwaters and his family. You'll like it. I hear his youngest son is into design. You two might have a lot in common."

And.

"She's an old friend of mine from college. We were roommates at the same women's university. Her son and daughter are going to be joining us for brunch. It's kind of nice isn't it sweetheart?"

Elsa curled into a fetal position, trying to shove away the thoughts and memories that always plagued her when it came to her parents after their deaths. She could smell the hint of rainwater in the air and hear fat droplets falling upon the cement walkway to their expansive home. It wasn't raining today. Her rational mind told her that, but she could still hear and feel the frigid undercurrents in the air from that winter six years ago.

Her heart clenched tightly. She felt a wave of dread, anxiety, and some emotion that swelled so rapidly in her chest she found it difficult to breathe again. Despite everything that had happened, right now she wanted nothing more than for her parents to come back and scoop her from her bed into theirs. In the way they always had whenever her anxiety and depression had become too much to handle by her lonesome. Elsa balled her hands into fists, feeling tears prickle behind her eyelids. She hiccuped, voice thick, "I wish you were still here Mama, Papa. I wish you were still here. I miss you."

"They died on impact Miss. They shouldn't have felt any pain. I'm so sorry Elsa."

Elsa buried her face in her knees, bones locking and muscles tensing.

Stop. Stop, stop, stop. I can't do this today. I can't think about them when I hurt about Anna too.

In her need to get away from the memories swirling around in her brain, Elsa scrambled off her bed and rushed to the bathroom. She shut and locked the door before Meg could question her sudden actions. Her loose pajamas came off and she roughly pulled at her braid to release her hair.

I need to clear my head. Clean up.

Her fingers itched to pull and prod at her skin. She shoved the urge down.

"Control it," Elsa whispered to herself, filling the bath with water. "You can do it." The water hissed and flowed onto white porcelain. Elsa fidgeted in place as the tub filled, repeating, "Don't feel, don't feel, don't feel," over and over again. It felt like ants were crawling on her hands.

When the water was halfway, Elsa jumped in and immediately reached for the soap and sponge. "I just need a distraction," she muttered to herself.

A distraction from what? A distraction from Anna?

She bit her lip, insides squirming as she passed the sponge over her arm in repeat strokes. Her hair wasn't even fully wet.

Or a distraction from the fact that you're ignoring Anna?

"I'm not ignoring her," she whispered. Elsa switched to her other arm, frantic to rid herself of the crawling and itching on her skin. "I just need some time to sort out my thoughts. How to approach the situation logically."

Logically though, she knew the best way to respond to Anna's worries was honesty.

But I'm scared.

Elsa wheezed and flipped the water on higher. The temperature increased.

How do I say it to her?

She moved to her legs. Her pale hair was slowly getting heavier with the rising level of the water. Her breathing shortened.

I have anxiety.

Elsa scrubbed the front of her chest. Her skin was flushed. Steam was rising in the air.

I have depression.

She shut her eyes. "Since I was eight," she whispered.

That's it. That's all I have to tell her.

Elsa whimpered. She brought her knees to her chest and rested her forehead against them. The water continued to pour and the heat was getting too hot.

"But I'm afraid."

I'm so afraid.

It was irrational. She was overreacting. It could barely be called a falling out. It wasn't even a fight. Her behavior wasn't sensible in the slightest. Anna had stayed with her throughout her panic attack despite the confusion. She hadn't left until Meg had come back. Their anniversary could have gone worse.

But the dead silence and blank look in Anna's eyes upon seeing her gift had been a blow to her self-esteem. Her insecurities had felt like they'd been laid bare. Stressed and confused after her latest therapy session, she had felt vulnerable.

What if this is some stupid late rebellious phase and I'm only doing it because Mama and Papa didn't let me be myself?

A loud banging jarred her from her thoughts.

"Elsa! Hey Elsa!"

Elsa jumped, twisting in the tub to look at the door. Water flushed over the rim and that's when she became aware of the thick steam and heat in the air. Condensation clogged the mirror and she noticed the tub faucet still running.

"Oh no," Elsa gasped, scrambling to turn off the water. When it hissed and turned off, she shot up and out of the tub. Her nerves, already tightly wound from her circular thoughts, buzzed under her skin as she fumbled with her towel. "I-I'm coming Meg!" Elsa yelled. Her feet slid along the wet floor, not helping her frayed nerves.

Elsa pulled on the doorknob before she remembered it was locked. "Fuck," she hissed. She unlocked it and swung it open, chest heaving.

"Woah," Meg said, eyes wide. Her brow creased and she reached out a hesitant hand. "Curse words out of your mouth? You alright there Rebel?"

The nickname sent a hot flash through Elsa's already warm body. Her therapist's words rung in her head. Elsa brushed back a stray lock of platinum hair, eyes darting nervously back and forth. "Y-yes, sorry Meg. I didn't realize I had the...the water running."

Meg frowned and tilted her head, scrutinizing her face. Elsa bit her lip, clutching the doorknob tightly to steady herself. She was positive she knew what was going through her roommate's mind and the idea of being involved in another serious conversation so soon after her latest panic attack was nerve-wrecking.

"Did you have another attack?"

Of course.

Elsa sighed and dropped her shoulders, staring down at her bare, wet feet. She nodded slightly, shrugging. "I guess? A bit, maybe. It was just a small one." She gripped her arm with her free hand, vainly wishing her nerves and heartbeat would slow. "D-don't worry. It's over now."

"Elsa," Meg started and Elsa could hear the clear disbelief in her voice, "did something happen during your therapist appointment?"

Elsa stiffened and clasped her towel tighter to her body. "No," she said quickly, shaking her head. A glance up at Meg's face showed she didn't believe it.

Meg sighed and ran a hand through her hair, biting her bottom lip in thought. Elsa stood there in her towel, shivering from the harsh contrast of heat from inside the bathroom and the cold in her apartment.

Meg stepped to the side, frowning. "How bad was it?"

Hoping to avoid the ensuing conversation, Elsa bypassed her roommate and muttered, "Not as bad as you think he was."

"Which means actually pretty awful," Meg replied, following her.

"He just said some things that have me thinking," Elsa murmured, quickly striding into her bedroom and towards her closet. She didn't want to be naked another moment longer. It was making her tense again. And she couldn't stand to have another panic. She felt drained already.

"What kind of things?"

Elsa paused, a lavender blouse in hand. She looked over her shoulder to see Meg's arms crossed and a stern glare on her face. The blonde licked her lips, painfully aware of how dry they were. Meg raised an eyebrow and Elsa averted her gaze, searching for a pair of loose slacks. "Just things."

"Elsa."

Elsa gritted her teeth. "Can I change first?"

"I—" Meg sounded frustrated before she sighed. "Yeah, sure. Of course. I'll leave you to that, but I still think we should talk about your appointment."

Elsa nodded tersely, shoulders up to her ears.

I don't really want to talk, but I'm not getting out of this no matter how much I want.

With a heavy heart, Elsa silently dressed. The chill left her as she slipped on her clothes, brow furrowed. Knowing Meg, she'd suggest for Elsa to leave her current therapist and look for a new one after her latest session. It would be the fourth one Elsa would have left in her life. Finding a professional to work with was difficult and she didn't want to go through the arduous and tedious process all over again.

But I don't know if I can go back.

One ill-wrought session and she was already considering looking for another. Elsa clenched the buttons of her blouse with stiff fingers and a hard jaw, mentally cursing her lack of will.

She strode out with her arms wrapped around her torso, dragging her feet in her fuzzy, white slippers.

Meg was in the kitchen, hovering over a boiling pot. Elsa stopped and a familiar scent wafted up her nostrils.

Hot chocolate.

The inviting, pleasing aroma sunk down her throat and nestled in her bones. Elsa bit the inside of her cheek, shuffling her feet in the kitchen threshold.

I don't want to go through this conversation.

"Marshmallows?"

Elsa jumped, refocusing on the brunette before her. Meg held up a bag of large marshmallows in one hand and a mug in the other.

"I got the really cheap kind," she said, setting the mug and bag down. She turned back to the pot, stirring with care. "You know, the really addictive kind? The ones parents never let their kids have because it's like putting them on crack. The kind that makes you bounce off the walls and have an aftertaste like chalk or some shit when you're older, but you eat them anyway because they're good."

Elsa chuckled dryly. "The kind that's bad for you?"

Meg scoffed and turned off the stove. "They're not terrible." She poured in the hot chocolate carefully and dumped in two large marshmallows to both cups. Elsa could see the edges of her smirk. "Chocolate and marshmallows. A girl's best friend besides ice cream when she's down in the dumps."

Elsa shrugged her shoulders, smiling tightly. Words were stuck in her throat. She could feel her skin crawling and the hairs on the back of her neck rose. While she didn't feel cold, she still felt cold. Stuck.

"Want to drink in your room?" Meg held out the mug like a peace offering, violet eyes glimmering with sympathy.

Elsa sighed and nodded, grasping the steaming hot cup. The scent of hot chocolate rose up and spread over her taut nerves. Silently, they turned around and walked back to the bedroom, Elsa with her limbs pulled in close and Meg with one arm wrapped around the blonde's shoulders.

Elsa sat on the edge of her bed with Meg opposite of her. The brunette sipped her drink, waiting patiently.

Elsa traced a finger over the rim over her mug, wondering how best to start what had been digging deep into her mind. "He..." Her brow furrowed and Meg leaned in closer. She inhaled, the breath shuddering inside her and leaving painfully. "He made some comments about my relationship with Anna."

There was a pause where Elsa could hear the traffic down in the streets, the winter breeze outside her window, and the pounding in her ears.

"What kind comments?" her roommate asked, eyes narrowing.

Elsa held her breath for a second. She heard the December air whistle outside. Then everything came out in a rush.

"He said maybe I'm only dating Anna because she's the exact opposite of what my parents wanted for me and maybe I enjoy that because it's some odd late rebellious phase. Since they never let me date girls before. Maybe my relationship with Anna isn't sincere and- and—"

"What?!" Meg's eyes flashed and she jumped up, gripping her mug harshly. "I'm going to pour hot chocolate down that asshole's shirt!"

Elsa jumped and made a noise, shaky and wet. "Oh Meg, please don't." She curled in on herself, cup to her chest. Her eyes lowered and she sniffed. "I don't want anymore stress today."

"Did you tell him it was almost your anniversary?" Meg growled.

Elsa nodded and tried to ignore the way her heart clenched on the word "anniversary." Quietly, she said, "That's what started it all in the first place." Her hands trembled. "I mentioned I was anxious about my appointments, he asked if I thought it had to do with my anniversary." She shifted. "I said yes. I didn't think much of it, but then he started questioning me if it might lead back to how I grew up."

"So you were fucking stressed about something that's kind of big for you and he has the balls to start interrogating you?!" Meg began to pace, crossing her arms and muttering. "How the hell does that asshole expect you to act?"

Elsa tapped her fingers on her mug, biting her lip. "It's not that simple. He wasn't intentionally trying to make me uncomfortable."

Meg gawked at her. "But you still were. It's this thing called tact Elsa. What kind of professional digs into their patient the day before something big?"

Elsa didn't reply. Couldn't really. She sipped her hot chocolate, fighting back the rolling waves of rising panic. She didn't want to divulge anymore information. Not yet at least.

Meg noticed her silence and stopped pacing. She frowned and rubbed the back of her head. "Sorry. You probably don't need my angry, sarcastic bullshit right now."

Elsa chuckled weakly and turned to her nightstand. She took out her medication, spilling the correct dosage on her palms. "I just...don't want to really talk right now Meg." Her hands shook as she swallowed her pills, followed by a quick drink of her hot chocolate.

Meg nodded, flashing her a small smile. "You know I'm here for you though right?"

Elsa paused and stared down at the sweet liquid in her mug. She nodded stiffly, returning Meg's smile with a tired one of her own. "I know."

Soon as the words left her mouth, the atmosphere seemed to lighten. Meg straightened, lips curling into her usual smirk. "Well, now that that's settled, I need to run down to the store."

Elsa snapped her gaze to the brunette, frowning at the jarring change in topic. "What...?"

Meg shrugged. "I need to pick up some stuff. I was going to tell you earlier, but then you ran into the bathroom and well." She splayed out her hands and gestured to Elsa's medication.

Elsa winced. "I'm sorry for worrying you again," she said reflexively.

Meg shook her head immediately. "Relax Els, it's okay. You just take it easy today alright?" She waved her hand. "Avoid any possible...stressy-like things."

Elsa laughed once before nodding dejectedly. She took a sip of her cup, staring down at the space between her feet. Her stomach was still in knots and the shivers running up and down her spine made her believe that it was going to be another one of her stress-ridden, anxious days no matter how hard she tried to push down the thoughts and feelings swirling in her mind.

"Do you want anything?" Meg asked gently.

Elsa lowered her cup. She bit her lip, twirling the bottle of medication in her hands.

Meg frowned. "Besides a life without anxiety, depression, college, and shitty, tactless therapists?"

Elsa chuckled dryly. "Something you can actually buy?"

"Well I might be able to persuade people to stop giving you shit, but the anxiety and depression I can't make go away, much as I want to. I can still pour hot chocolate down your therapist's shirt though. That offer still stands."

Elsa gave her roommate a thin smile. It managed to reach her eyes just the slightest bit. "No thank you. But I could go for some more chocolate," she said softly.

A grin split Meg's face in two. "I can definitely do that. Dark or milk?"

Elsa sighed and some of the tension loosened from her shoulders. "Extra dark. I-if you don't mind that is."

"Course not Blondie. I'll get the really good kind."

Elsa ducked her head, cheeks pink and chest tight. "You don't have too..."

Meg shrugged and leaned against the doorway. "No one ever has to do anything for anyone, but we do it anyway."

Elsa swallowed, unable to respond.

"Alright, call me if you want anything else okay?" The blonde nodded and Meg shoved herself off the doorway. "Take it easy, I'll be back soon."

Without another word, Meg strode down the hall and Elsa heard the door shut. She sighed, tension leaving her body. She loved Meg, she really did. She loved all her friends and the steadfast support they'd given her through college.

But sometimes Elsa needed space to think and recuperate.

Alone at last.

Elsa rolled her shoulders and neck. There was a satisfying pop and she groaned in relief. Placing her pills back in her drawer, Elsa considered her options. "I should try and actually get started on things since I've already showered," she mumbled to herself. There was homework, studying, reading, and a host of other chores she needed to do today. Things that she hadn't started because of laying in bed all morning.

Guilt pricked at her insides.

Elsa sighed and turned to her door when something caught her attention.

"New messages, two," she read off the screen of her phone. Her stomach twisted and her heart jumped between her sternum and her throat. She cupped her hands together, trying to ignore the shaking fingertips.

I still can't answer her. I know how to, but I can't.

She jerked away from her phone and strode quickly out of her bedroom.

"Work first," Elsa muttered to herself.

The silence of her home, her phone, and the continuous beating of her heart answered back.

---

The vegetarian sandwich was probably the most substantial thing she had eaten all day. Which wasn't actually a fair point because it was the only thing she had eaten all day.

Still the crisp vegetables and light dressing brightened her spirits slightly. Kristoff sat to her right, digging into his own sandwich. The two of them had stopped at a little food joint for a much needed brunch. She had called Rapunzel and Eugene, letting them know she had picked up Kristoff safely. She had asked them if they had wanted to meet up for brunch as well, but the two had declined.

"Actually, Eugene and I were going to head down to the arcade with Aladdin and Jasmine. The others wanted to come too."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, plenty sure! Remember to eat a big brunch though! You skipped out on breakfast today too."

"They're just sandwiches."

"So? You love sandwiches. Eat lots. Love you!"

Anna had the sneaking suspicion that they had declined in order to give her and Kristoff a few hours of alone time.

Guilt, gratitude, remorse, and stress had continued to pile on her shoulders.

The sandwich was a much needed distraction. Anna ripped off another chunk with her teeth and swallowed in three bites. Beside her, Kristoff pushed the water bottle closer to her.

"Thank you," Anna said, taking a sip. It dribbled down her throat sweetly.

"Don't mention it," he replied. Kristoff munched on his sandwich for a little bit longer before adding, "Besides, you could really use it. Gaston was kind of right. You are skinny."

"Hey!" Anna glared at him, cheeks filled with bread, tomato, and cucumber. "I'm not that thin."

Kristoff smirked and swallowed his bite. He nudged her with his elbow. "Oh yeah? Prove it to me. When was the last time you weighed yourself?"

Anna rolled her eyes, gulping down her food. She tucked a lock of copper hair behind her ear, muttering, "I swear, sports turned you into a strict health foodie. Do you have an off switch?"

He snorted, nudging her harder. She giggled and ate the rest of her sandwich more slowly. A shift to her right made her glance sideways. Anna blinked as Kristoff edged closer to her until their sides touched, his knee against hers and their shoulders together. Emotion swelled in her chest and she felt a fresh wave of tears burn the back of her eyes. Anna smiled slightly and leaned her head against his arm.

"You know, I've been really worried about you..."

Anna blinked again. She swallowed her current bite and it went down her throat painfully. She knew that tone. Their conversation at the airport was still in the back of her mind. She had promised to explain to him what was going on, but a part of her—a very large part of her—wanted to delay the talk just a while longer. The part of her that squirmed at the idea of certain conversation because certain conversation had always led to uncomfortable and terrible things in her life.

But.

This was Kristoff.

Her brother, confidant, and best friend since middle school. The guy who'd wrapped up her hands in bandages when she had first tried to hide from her parents what was going on. The boy who had wiped her knuckles clean of blood when he had stumbled on her washing her hands in the sink. The one who had applied anesthetic while she cried in front of him, eyes red and nose dripping snot.

"I d-dont g-get Kristoff! What did I ever do to them?!"

Anna sighed and put down her sandwich.

Here it goes. Better to just get it over with. It's not fair to hide things from Kristoff.

"Is this about the text message I sent to you Friday night?" she muttered. Kristoff paused with his mouth open over his sandwich. He lowered it and fixed her with a sympathetic gaze, brown eyes deep and waiting. Anna pressed against him more, staring at the tiny, tiny space between their arms. "'M sorry for sending it so late at night..."

The blonde snorted, rolling his eyes. He nudged her with his shoulder. "It wasn't that late you drama queen. Not even midnight."

She giggled despite the emotion in her voice. Despite her decision, Anna remained silent, mulling over how to accurately explain what was going on between her and Elsa. She was still unsure.

Kristoff drummed his fingers on the table. "So, uh, obviously I saw your text." She nodded. Kristoff huffed and rubbed the back of his neck. The motion was awkward with the way Anna was still pressing the side of her face against his shoulder. "I've been worried ever since I saw it the morning after you sent it."

Anna bit her lip guilty. Embarrassment and shame coated her cheeks red. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't originally want to text you anything because I knew it'd throw you off your game."

Kristoff snorted again, sounding shocked and indignant. Anna felt him pull away and she looked up just as large fingers brushed her cheek.

His fingertip came back wet.

"Hey, hey, Anna," Kristoff whispered, ruffling her hair. "C'mon, you should know my games aren't nearly as important as you. I mean, they're important, but you always come first."

She sniffed and bit down harshly on her lip to stop the hiccups. Anna furiously rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of her green jacket. "I hate that," she whimpered. "You should concentrate on stuff that happens to you. Not your big, baby sister who can't stop running and crying to you every time things go even slightly bad."

Kristoff blinked and frowned. "Christ, what happened between you and Elsa?" He brushed a tear from her eye roughly with his thumb, something she was grateful for. "This doesn't seem like a little thing to me."

"It is," Anna whined, "I mean, it was. I don't know..."

Stop. Stop it. You're making a scene. People are going to stare.

She gritted her teeth and forced her breathing to calm. A quick glance from their corner showed that a few people and an employee or two were staring in their direction.

They're probably just concerned. That's all. They're not judging me.

She clenched her hands into fists.

They're not.

"Can we talk in the truck?"

Kristoff let out a short noise. He stared at her and she smiled apologetically.

"I know, I know you're tired of the delays. But please Kristoff," Anna said and grasped his hands. She leaned forward and his brow creased. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't want to do this around other people."

Recognition dawned on his face. "Right, sure."

They wrapped up the rest of their food quickly and within a minute were clambering back into the large red pick-up truck.

Anna sighed in relief from the safety of the closed interior. An arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her in. She snuggled into Kristoff's side.

Okay, might as well get this over with.

"Elsa and I had a fight. Well, I mean, not a fight-fight, but a," she pursed her lips, "a...mishap? A misunderstanding? I think I upset her!" She pulled away from his hug, hands gesturing in the air and fingers twitching. "We were having dinner Friday night. F-for our anniversary you see. And I thought it was going along fine at first, even if Elsa did seem a bit distant. A little distant. Just the tiniest bit off."

"Wait, what?" Kristoff frowned, trying to follow along with her rambling.

Anna nodded, eyes flicking to stare at the wheel. Her knees began to bounce. "B-but then we were exchanging gifts and she gave me a necklace—"

"Necklace?"

"—and oh, Kristoff. You should see it. It's lovely. It's got this heart thing going on and it's really simple, but it's a perfect fit! You should have seen how nervous she looked giving it to me." Anna blinked furiously. She could feel tears beginning to prick her eyes. "A-and...I panicked."

"Woah, what? Anna—"

Anna jerked her head, snapping her gaze to him. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes were moist. "I panicked Kristoff. I saw the necklace and I couldn't think of anything but Hans." She felt her breathing shorten and her chest began to heave. "All I could think about r-right there with Elsa was the night I-I was with his family." She felt sweat beading her forehead.

Kristoff moved closer, clasping her shoulders gently.

"I could seeand hear their voices. I got quiet. Really quiet." Anna's chest seized as she stared into Kristoff's eyes. His expression contorted into a mixture of worry and confusion. "I felt muddled, like I was back there again. At his house or with his family. With him. And Elsa. She took it badly. I'm pretty sure she thought I hated her gift."

"Obviously you didn't. But that over a necklace?"

Anna stared at Kristoff, eyes round and wet. "Kristoff, you should have seen her! I didn't understand how insecure she was deep down. Or something like that. I don't know!" She hiccuped and he rubbed her shoulders, trying to soothe her. "She locked herself in the bathroom after that."

Kristoff paused and his eyes widened slightly. "Bathroom..."

Anna nodded rapidly, hiccuping. A few tears threatened to spill. She wiped at her eyes furiously. "She was crying and I couldn't get her to calm down and open up. And I," a shiver ran down her spine at remembering Elsa's sobs, "was there listening to her outside her door. I kept thinking I was at Hans's place o-or the restaurant we dined in. Everything was just kind of muddled, was I with Hans or was I with Elsa, but Elsa was crying—!" Anna's voice broke off with a choke.

Kristoff crushed her to his chest, cupping the back of her head and hushing her when she gasped. "Hey Anna, no, no. Shh, shh, it's okay." Anna gripped the back of his shirt, blinking back tears as she pressed her face into his shoulder. "You're not with him okay? You're not near any of them. You're with me and that's over. Elsa—"

Anna sobbed at the mention of Elsa's name.

"I messaged her," Anna sniffed.

"That's good," Kristoff soothed. He rubbed circles into her back.

"But she hasn't answered back," Anna whined. She jerked back and stared at her brother with red-rimmed eyes. "What do I do Kristoff? I've never seen her like that before and it was kind of freaky and I didn't know how to react and I don't want to make another mistake like I did with Hans."

Kristoff rubbed her shoulder and patted her head. "You won't."

"How can you be so sure?" she mumbled. A few tears slid down her cheeks and when she sniffed again it was soggy .

Kristoff frowned and wiped away the droplets. "First, dry those crocodile tears Anna." She opened her mouth to say something, but he shook his head. "Ah, ah, ah! Come on, no ifs, ands, or buts."

She let out a small noise, staring at him with wide eyes.

"This isn't like you," Kristoff said, moving his finger away. "You're not one to break at the first sign of things not going so well." He hardened his jaw and admittedly gruffly, "You stuck around with Hans and his family even when they kept shitting on you or he had one of his moods."

"But that was different," Anna said. She tried to push down the lump in her throat, chest heaving. "Elsa isn't Hans."

"That's right," Kristoff said.

Wait, what?

Anna blinked and sniffed. "I don't get it."

Kristoff rolled his eyes and brushed the last of her tears on her red, freckled cheeks. "She's not Hans so she's not going to react like him. She probably feels bad about confusing you or something, I don't know."

Anna trembled and nodded. "Right, right. You're right." She reached out and wrapped her arms around him. Kristoff returned the embrace and she sank into him from across the driver's seat. His cologne drifted into her nostrils. She felt warm and safe in Kristoff's arms. She closed her eyes, muttering, "She probably does. Elsa was always so thoughtful."

Her mind flashed to the rain and a pink umbrella being returned.

Elsa isn't Hans. Elsa's a good person. Kind and sweet. Beautiful. And she cares for me. I can make this work. Of course we can make this work.

"But you're still you."

Anna drew back. "Huh?" she squeaked.

Kristoff frowned and brushed back her bangs. "And if I know you Anna, it's that you try so hard sometimes you get hurt."

She gulped, shivering.

"And I just don't want to see you hurt again," he whispered. "Last time I had to pick you up out of the rain with a broken heel and bruises. Seriously."

"But I—"

Kristoff cut her off. "Just promise me to take it easy okay? Take it nice and slow. Gentle. Don't jump, just walk."

Anna blinked and gazed at him for a while. His brown eyes stared into hers and she felt like she was thirteen all over again. She nodded and leaned back into his arms. "O-okay..."

Kristoff rubbed her back again and they stayed like that in the truck.

"You know what you need?"

"Hm?"

"A vacation. Come spend winter break back home."

"Huh…"

---

The ring of the phone startled Elsa from her work. She jumped, looking up from her papers and drawings to the vibrating cell on the kitchen counter. She tensed, heart in her throat suddenly.

It's either from Meg, Belle, or—

Elsa pushed herself out of her seat and snatched the ringing cell. The call number made her shoulders sag in relief.

"Not Anna," she whispered to herself. Guilt coiled inside her. As much as she hated admitting it to herself, she wasn't ready to speak with Anna just yet.

But the number on the screen still made her grimace. Elsa flipped 'accept' and brought her phone to her ear. "Kai?"

"Miss Arendelle!"

The older man's voice was noticeably relieved and joyful. Elsa smiled in spite of the stress and dread plaguing her. She leaned against the kitchen counter, drawings and studies momentarily forgotten. "How are you?"

"If you don't mind me speaking honestly, I could be better Miss."

She frowned. Kai had been something of an uncle to her growing up. He had been one of her family's oldest and most trusted business associates. He had overseen their home branch while her family was always on the move. Whenever there had been disagreements between the board of directors and her father, he had always been strictly on Mr. Arendelle's side.

More than that however, he had always lent a listening ear to Elsa and her growing troubles. She had come to him, and by extension his wife Gerda, about her sexuality before anyone else.

And for that, Elsa could never find it in her heart to turn away from him.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Elsa asked, voice soft and warm. "Anything I can do for you personally," she stressed.

Kai chuckled on the other line and Elsa could just imagine him sitting down with a stack of papers on each side and a cup of coffee. Her spirits lifted slightly.

"Unless you can somehow manage to make business deals and paperwork easier, than no, I doubt you can young Miss."

Elsa sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry Kai. I still regret having to leave you to take care of everything and instead running—"

"Now, now, none of that ," Kai interrupted. "You know as well as I do your parents didn't expect you to take charge of the company so young. They always had me and a few others as the back-up plan, just in case you weren't ready."

Elsa tightened her hold on her cell phone, jaw hardening.

I don't think I'll ever be ready.

"So what did you call for me?" Her curt words made her cringe, but she couldn't help feeling uncomfortable.

As if sensing her distress, Kai hurriedly said, "It can wait another day if you'd like Miss. Considering it'll be, well..."

He trailed off, though Elsa knew what he had been about to say. She sighed and mumbled, "Go on Kai."

"Well, the company is having its annual celebration you know?"

She nodded, even though he couldn't see. Elsa idly flicked the stove on and poured some water into a pot to prepare some tea. "In commemoration of its founding father right?" That had been her great-grandfather.

"Yes, and also, well, you know."

Elsa tightened her jaw. "I know," she murmured.

The death of her parents had been a blow to her family's business. Since her father had been the CEO, his sudden death—along with the death of her mother, someone who had also been involved in several business affairs—had left the board of directors and other employees scrambling for damage control.

They were missed terribly. Elsa still felt unsure of where she stood.

"Perhaps you'd like to join us this year?" Kai asked, voice soft and slow.

Elsa stiffened, hand hovering over the cabinet. Her heart skipped a beat and she swallowed. "For the party?" she squeaked.

"We'd all love to know how you're holding up young Miss."

Terrible, she wanted to say, but refrained from doing so. Elsa grabbed a tea packet from the cabinet and returned to the stove. "I'll think about it Kai," she mumbled distractedly. A part of her mind was still focused on current events, like how was she going to address the issue between her and Anna?

If it even is an issue and not just me overreacting. Again. To everything. As always.

Her insides squirmed.

"I won't push you," Kai responded. "I know it still must be difficult for you."

Elsa nodded absentmindedly before remembering he couldn't see. "I'll think about it Kai," she reiterated. "It's just, I have some things going on right now so I can't exactly plan ahead."

There was a pause on the other end and she knew Kai wanted to ask her what was wrong, but she was so sick of questions right now.

Quickly, Elsa added, "Perhaps you can send me the details of the party over email?"

Ever the gentleman, Kai replied, "Of course Miss."

They shared a few more pleasantries before he hung up. Elsa sipped her tea and leaned against the counter, contemplative.

It would be nice I guess, if I went to the party and took Anna with me.

Her chest swelled with emotion at the thought of introducing Anna as her date to Kai and Gerda. The elderly couple had been like a second set of parents to her. They had been less restrictive than her mother and father when it had come to her sexuality. She could imagine their smiles.

How would Anna look in a beautiful gown?

Elsa smiled sadly, clutching her mug to her chest.

I should answer her soon…

Her phone was still in her bedroom.

A knock at the door pulled her back to reality and made her jump.

What the...

Elsa frowned and strode into the living room. The knock came again and her frown deepened. She hesitated for a moment, biting her bottom lip.

Can't be Meg. She would have called out and besides she has her keys.

And if it wasn't her roommate, then it was most certainly someone else. She didn't think it was one of her friends either. They would have let her know ahead of time if they were coming.

Which means it's a neighbor.

Elsa grimaced. She didn't feel up to small talk.

The person knocked again.

But I can't be rude either. Mama and Papa told me being rude is the mark of unprofessionalism.

Biting back a sigh, Elsa opened her door.

Hans beamed back at her. "Good morning Elsa!"

The blonde stared, blue eyes wide and lips slightly parted. "Hans?"

Hans nodded, grin growing.

"What are you doing here?" Elsa asked.

Hans's cheeks reddened slightly. He shrugged and held up a bouquet of daisies. "I was feeling bad about not being able to help you feel better the other day so I brought flowers and a get-well card." He handed them over, hazel eyes bright.

A shiver ran down Elsa's spine and she frowned. She took the bouquet, glancing at the note ("Keep your chin up!") and mumbling, "You didn't have to..."

It was one thing for Meg to buy her things, it was another for a complete acquaintance to do it. Even if Hans was a gentlemen, Elsa couldn't stop alarm bells from going off in her head. Years of her father's stiff upbringing were running in her mind.

There are no free lunches in business.

Hans shrugged, smile still in place. "What are friends for?"

Elsa avoided answering by looking down at the flowers. She was grateful they weren't roses. "How did you know what room I lived in?"

"Oh, simple," Hans said, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets, "I just asked one of your neighbors 'Excuse me, where does the beautiful blonde on this floor live?'" He winked and Elsa repressed another shiver. "They pointed me in the general direction and I figured it out."

Elsa gave him a tight-lipped smile. "My, aren't we the mastermind?"

Hans laughed, throwing his head back. "Hardly, just common deduction."

Elsa nodded and moved a flowerbud. "Yes, well, thank you for the flowers Hans. They're quite lovely."

They stared at each other for a minute more. Elsa shuffled her feet awkwardly, the bouquet crinkling in her hands. Hans stayed where he was, pearly-white grin still in place.

Another shiver ran down Elsa's spine.

Why is he—oh!

Elsa smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry Hans. I haven't made a decision yet regarding your invitation."

For a second, Hans looked confused. His brow furrowed and the lack of recognition in his eyes made Elsa stiffen.

That's why he's here right? To give me these flowers and ask me about the party?

When he didn't answer immediately, Elsa felt her skin crawl. She was too tired and too stressed for this. Then Hans's face brightened and he laughed suddenly, slapping his forehead. Elsa blinked in wide-eyed confusion.

"Oh god! To tell you the truth, I had completely forgotten about that!"

The blonde shifted her weight, eyes darting to the side. Embarrassment colored her cheeks. "O-oh. I see. Then why...?"

He gestured to the flowers, grin returning. "Well, obviously I wanted to make sure you were okay." His expression softened and Elsa forced herself to relax at the gentle look in his hazel eyes. "I was involved in a really bad break-up so I know it's difficult to get back on your feet."

Elsa's cheeks darkened. A hot, irritating flash surged through her. "Yes, well, we're not breaking up." She turned around to place the flowers on the coffee table. "There was just an issue on Friday." Anger coursed through her veins.

Why phrase it like that. I thought Hans was more thoughtful.

She turned back to the door to see Hans flush and stammer.

"I-I'm sorry, that came out wrong!" He gestured with his hands rapidly and she was painfully reminded of Anna. Again. "I didn't mean to imply you two were over! Just that, you know," he shrugged, grinning awkwardly, "I know what it's like to deal with less than stellar partners, so to speak. I'm here to listen."

I barely know you.

Elsa forced a smile, crossing her arms over her torso. "Thank you Hans, but if you'll excuse me—"

"Oh, but there is something I wanted to ask you about!" he cut in.

Elsa frowned, but before either of them could continue, she heard a surprised shout down the hallway.

"It's the dude with the prissy Porsche!"

Elsa snapped her gaze to the side to see Meg and Belle several feet away. Her roommate had grocery bags in hand while Belle's arms were filled with several books. The shorter brunette shot Meg a glare.

"Be nice," she hissed.

Meg glanced at her sharply, eyebrows up. "What?! I've seen him around before. He's the jerk who takes my parking spot!"

Elsa coughed and looked at Hans frantically. He looked surprised, but there was a flicker in his eyes. He almost seemed annoyed.

"Excuse me?" Hans crossed his arms as her friends walked closer. "I don't recall any names on parking spots."

Meg snorted before brushing past Elsa. The blonde stared in shock at her friend's casual indifference.

What's gotten into her? She hasn't been that rude to people in a while.

Belle grabbed her arm and Elsa was literally dragged from her thoughts. The brunette shot Hans an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, but could you please excuse us? Girl talk."

Disbelief flashed across Hans's face. For the second time, Elsa saw something she couldn't quite place in Hans's eyes. His annoyance returned, but just as he opened his mouth to protest, Belle shut the door.

Silence descended on the apartment.

Elsa stared at the door, eyes wide as she glanced from it to her friends, back and forth.

Meg strode to the kitchen to put away groceries. Belle placed a few of her books onto the coffee table. Elsa belatedly realized they were books the blonde had loaned to her.

"What was that?" she blurted out.

Belle shrugged. "Don't know. I think Meg is just tense."

Elsa frowned. I hope it's not because of me.

"That guy rubs me the wrong way," Meg growled, poking her head from the kitchen. "Why the heck was he here?" she asked, glaring at Elsa.

Elsa gestured to the flowers. "He wanted to give me a get-well gift."

Belle frowned, blinking at the bouquet. "Do you know him?"

"We've talked a few times."

Meg stared at her. "What?! When?"

"Friday night," Elsa said. She squirmed. The thought of repeating what had happened Friday was making her throat tighten.

Belle smiled softly. "I heard what happened."

"Forget that for now," Meg hissed. "How did he know where we lived?"

Elsa turned to answer, but Belle beat her to the punch.

"Meg. Not now. Give Elsa a break."

Meg snapped her jaw shut, guilt flashing in her eyes. "Right, right," she grumbled, ducking back into the kitchen. "But later! Tell me!"

Elsa couldn't help but laugh once. "Her bark has always been worse than her bite?"

Belle chuckled and for a moment, Elsa felt the atmosphere relax.

"How are you holding up?"

Too soon.

Elsa shrugged and picked up the books. "Could be worse," she mumbled, beginning to stack them back on the book rack they had in the living room.

"Has she called you?"

Elsa paused, hand hovering over the bookcase. She swallowed and nodded. "She messaged me."

"That's a good sign," Belle mumbled. "She sounds serious about this."

Elsa chuckled dryly and placed the rest of the books. "I think you're the first one to sound optimistic."

"Well, this is important to you Elsa."

Elsa turned, blue eyes taking in Belle's expression. The hope and quiet compassion there made Elsa's lip quiver.

"You didn't come here just to return books did you?"

Belle shrugged, smiling. "Guilty as charged. But I did come earlier than expected. I met Meg at the grocery store. I hadn't planned on returning your books until later, but she told me you were having an awful day and I wanted to come straight away."

Elsa bit her lip and fiddled with a button her blouse. "What else did she say?" she whispered, acutely aware Meg could still hear them from the kitchen. There was the sound of pots and pans being moved, cabinet doors opening and closing, as if Meg was trying to make herself sound busy.

"Just enough to let me figure out your anniversary with Anna didn't go so well."

Elsa flinched.

Belle quickly strode to her side and patted her arm. "Don't fret over it Elsa."

"Easier said than done," she couldn't help replying with.

Belle let the sarcasm roll off her shoulders easily, smirking slightly. "You know if you don't end up doing something, Anna's likely going to approach you first right? Since she messaged you and everything."

Elsa crossed her arms over her torso. "I didn't respond to her texts," she mumbled and felt a twinge of guilt..

"One bad night isn't the end of everything," Belle said gently.

Elsa bit her lip. Her eyes misted over and a million thoughts raced through her mind.

One bad night, no. But how does the knowledge that your partner is like me for life affect a relationship? I want to believe Anna won't care, but I'm scared.It's so easy to say "It gets better," when it's not you.

"She took the necklace with her right?"

Elsa blinked harshly, dazed. "Wha?"

Belle smirked. "Think on that."

Then, Belle kissed her cheek, drawing back to brush the hair from her eyes. Elsa was stunned for a moment, still contemplating her friend's words. When Belle laughed, the blonde managed a brief, tired smile. She pushed aside the idea of Anna and the necklace out of her mind for now.

"Thank you for checking up on me Belle," Elsa rasped. She swallowed the lump in her throat, blinking back the tears. "I'm sorry I haven't been keeping in touch," Elsa whispered, eyelids drooping.

Belle smiled softly and brushed her hair back again, stroking her cheek once before letting her hand drop back to her book. "Oh Elsa, it's okay. The rest of us understand how difficult it is for you." Her brown eyes darted to the medication on Elsa's coffee table. "It can't be easy, dealing with anxiety and depression day in and day out."

Speechless, Elsa merely nodded and fidgeted.

"But try and eat something?" Belle suddenly suggested. Her brow creased and she tilted her so their eyes could meet. "Meg doesn't always show it, but she gets really worried about you. Especially since you have a tendency of not eating."

There was the sound of another cabinet closing.

Elsa winced and averted her gaze. A hot flash of embarrassment surged through her. "Better not eating then overeating," she mumbled. "I wouldn't want to gain weight again."

She could hear the distant piercing jabs and sneers directed at her body in middle school.

Belle sighed and rubbed her shoulder. "You know that that was a side-effect of your medication at the time remember? It wasn't a food thing. Your psychiatrist told your parents it wasn't your fault. That it was a side-effect of your antidepressant medication." The was a crinkle of aluminum as the brunette extracted a granola bar from her purse. She shoved it into Elsa's limp hand. "So here. Eat."

Elsa stared at the chocolate and oats bar.

"I think you need it more than I do," Belle mumbled.

The words shot straight to her heart.

Oh Anna. Anna. God Anna, I want to talk to you. But what do I even say?

The lack of direction was beginning to really grate on her.

"Well, I think I better get going now."

Elsa snapped her head up to look at Belle. The brunette adjusted her book and handbag before offering Elsa a sympathetic and warm smile.

"I have some things to do," Belle said. Then she frowned, concern flashing in her eyes. "Unless, you'd like me to stay and keep you company."

"Oh, no Belle." Elsa rapidly shook her head. A light pink tinted her cheeks and she bit her lip, wringing her hands together. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your other duties and you already did me the pleasure of visiting." She looked down, wrapping her arms around her torso. "I couldn't ask for more than that."

Belle smiled and touched Elsa's arm. "What are friends for?" Then she chuckled and winked. "Every hero needs a sidekick."

Elsa laughed. It came out hoarse and choked, but she laughed. For the second time that day, she felt a glimmer of emotion. The blonde nudged Belle with her elbow, rolling her eyes and smiling slightly. "You're not a sidekick. You're so, so much more than that." Her expression softened and she lowered her eyes to the floor, pensive. "You and Meg. Everyone."

A lump swelled in her throat.

Belle patted her shoulder, tugging on her shirt to draw her attention. When Elsa looked up, the brunette straightened and smirked. "Everyone's a sidekick to someone else in their life Elsa. We're heroes of our own stories and side characters to another's."

"Ever the book lover," Elsa said softly. She smiled however and it reached her eyes.

"I was hoping to see that. I don't pull out corny lines like that for my own enjoyment," Belle quipped, face lighting up.

Elsa blushed and looked down. The brunette laughed and turned towards the door, opening it. "I'll see you soon Elsa."

Elsa lifted a hand and curled her fingers. "Bye," she mumbled.

Belle returned the gesture with a more enthusiastic wave and called out to Meg that she was leaving. She was three-quarters of the way out before she rushed back in. "Oh, but before I go!"

Elsa started when Belle shoved something in her face.

"Here!"

She frowned, slowly taking the slips of paper from the hand in front of her. She flipped them over, confused. "What are these?" she asked quietly.

Belle smiled at her, shrugging one shoulder. "Tickets to this week's hockey game."

Elsa snapped her head up, blue eyes widening. "Tickets? But, why? I-I don't understand..."

"I know you're not really the sporty type and you'd probably much prefer to stay inside. But Adam got me some tickets and the rest of us were wondering if you'd like to join us for the game night. Get you out of the house and maybe out to dinner afterward? A night out would do you some good."

Elsa swallowed thickly, muscles tense. She stared at the tickets in her hands, eyes honing in on the timestamp and location.

Tickets. Tickets to the game.

"I still want to go to the game with you Elsa."

Anna's text… Anna's brother will be playing. Anna will be there. Wait...

She gasped softly and brushed a finger over the date.

Would Anna be there? They had planned to go together. But what if the redhead had changed her mind because their anniversary had gone terribly? What if the idea of going without her had made Anna too uncomfortable to attend?

Don't be a fool. Of course Anna would still go. She'd probably go to support her brother. Her whole life doesn't revolve around you.

That stung.

But...

Elsa tightened her grip on the tickets. "Who else is going?"

Belle frowned and tilted her head, thoughtful. She counted on her fingertips as she lifted, "Well, hopefully it'll be you, me, Tiana and Naveen, Meg, and I think Aurora if I can drag her out of—"

"I'll go."

Elsa's firm words stopped Belle right in her tracks. The other woman blinked several times before comprehension dawned on her.

"Wait, really?! You're coming? Oh, that's wonderful Elsa!" Belle grabbed her hands and squeezed them, a grin lighting up her face. "You won't regret it. The others and I will make sure of it. You need a night off."

Elsa tried to smile back just as excitedly, but her nervousness hadn't dissipated yet. "I...I want to try."

Belle paused and drew back, studying her. She narrowed her eyes, glancing between Elsa's face and the tickets in her hand. "Is there something else on your mind?"

Elsa squeezed the tickets harder in her grip, mentally calculating and formulating a plan. It wasn't going to be easy. She could feel the edges of her nerves stretching and tightening, threatening to send her into another dead lull. Even with her medication and poise, she wasn't sure how well she could stand such a large social event so soon after a severe panic attack.

But Anna...

"I'm here for you."

"Yes, I have someone else in mind."