A/N: As is the usual, I apologize for the severe length of time between updates. You've all been completely understanding about the long waits and the busy ongoings of my life, but I always feel the need to reiterate this message.
Unfortunately this chapter turned out to be shorter than the previous ones. I actually hope to cut down on the word count for future chapters or at least split them so I can provide you all with slightly quicker updates. And prevent burnout, which has been happening, especially with the subject matters in the previous chapters.
But anyway, enjoy!
"There, all done up and pretty now."
Elsa raised her eyes from the floor as her mother stood up. If it weren't for her light hair, Elsa would look like the spitting image of Idunn Arendelle. Though unlike the intricate bun that held Idunn's dark hair together, Elsa's hair was braided into a single plait and adorned with a navy hairband.
The thirteen-year-old fixed her gloves, fingers trembling as she slipped them through the silk fabric. She let out a shaky breath when the pinched red marks along the insides of her wrists disappeared beneath the gloves. Elsa jumped when hands gently covered her own.
"Don't worry Elsa," Idunn said, bent down to Elsa's eye level. Her mother smiled at her and Elsa swallowed thickly.
"Are you sure?" she asked, voice catching. If she remembered her father's words right, some of his trade associates would be coming to the celebration. She didn't want to see him questioned about the condition of her hands. He had already been notified by one of her teachers and she had had to sit in the lobby, head down as the two talked behind doors. The reminder of that event tightened the knot building in her stomach.
Idunn cupped her cheek, startling Elsa, but after a moment she leaned into the touch. Her eyes watered as her mother pulled her into a hug, nose pressed against the velvet fabric of her mother's dress. "Trust me darling, everyone will be too distracted by the party and drinks to notice something so insignificant as a few marks."
Insignificant. Elsa squirmed. To her, the marks stood out like headlights. Her skin was still sore and her gloves only seemed to aggravate the sensitive skin.
The door to her room suddenly opened and she looked up to see her father walk in, already dressed in his navy, formal wear. His cold blue eyes landed on them and Elsa considered burrowing deeper into her mother's embrace. But her father's eyes softened when he saw them and she relaxed.
"How are my two favorite ladies?" he asked. Elsa told herself that the low quality of his voice wasn't any different, that it was her anxiety making it sound more gruff.
Idunn straightened, stroking the back of Elsa's head once. "We're fine Stefan. Elsa's just a bit nervous right now."
Elsa stiffened when her father's blue gaze met hers, a frown creasing his brow.
"Just party jitters," Idunn said gently, squeezing his arm. "It isn't anything serious."
Elsa cupped her hands together. Again she was reminded it was nothing serious. The knot in her stomach tightened.
Stefan hummed, his frown easing into a contemplative look. "Did you take your medication this morning Elsa?"
Elsa resisted the urge to rub her wrists, pick at her white gloves, do anything that might indicate her growing unease. Instead, she played with the end of her braid, biting her bottom lip. "I did Papa."
A smile lit her father's face and Elsa's chest swelled a bit at the sight. He placed a hand on her back, large fingers resting on her shoulder blade and she leaned into the touch hesitantly. He rubbed her back as he said, "Don't worry Elsa, it's nothing more than a few friends of mine and some business associates."
It's rarely "nothing more."
"And some friends of our friends," Idunn teased. She frowned and grabbed Stefan's tie, fiddling with the knot and mumbling, "I don't remember so many people being invited Stefan."
Stefan shooed his wife's hands away from his tie and shrugged his shoulders. "They're not anyone terribly important and there isn't anything we have to worry about tonight. Just a few potential projects and sponsors."
A sour taste settled on Elsa's tongue and she grimaced as her mother moved to brush her braid over her shoulder.
Idunn hummed as she gently fixed Elsa's bangs and stroked her cheek. "There will be some kids your age this time Elsa," her mother said. "Maybe you'll have someone to actually talk to this time?"
Elsa blinked up at her parents as they glanced silently at each other.
"Okay."
When they stepped down to the first floor, the party was in full spring. Her parents' current quarters were a lavish beachside mansion. The large, open living room—coupled with the private pool and fireplace—lent itself well to the casual atmosphere. The chandelier above cast a bright glow over the room and its light was reflected off the wine glasses in everyone's hands. Platters of appetizers were currently being passed around to several people. The majority of guests were business associates from her parents' company, but she did notice older family friends. Most people were dressed as formally as her parents, in slim gowns and tuxes.
The sight was like something out of a high-class film and the building even more beautiful.
It was a standard affair for Elsa.
She stared down at everything from the top of the staircase, behind her mother and father, hands clasped in front of her. More than anything she wanted to run right back up to her room, slam the door shut, and shrug off her navy dress.
Her mother glanced at her and Elsa tried to ignore her worried gaze. "Elsa," she whispered, "come along dear."
No, I want to hide.
Elsa took in a large breath of air and skidded to her mother's side. She itched to hold Idunn's hand, like she'd done as a child, but kept her hands firmly to herself. When he noticed the exchange, Stefan jerked his chin in the direction of the stairs and Elsa pointedly faced forward. After that, they descended and the party continued on.
And on.
And on.
Elsa was pushed, gently eased into, thrust forward, and steered around the room, introduced to her parents' partners in trade, coworkers, friends and theirfamilies—everyone!
"Elsa, this is Dr. Carlson—"
"—this is Elsa, our daughter—"
"Elsa, I'd like you to meet Mr. Lund and his son Albert—"
"—Jonathon, Mr. Dawson's son is a charming fellow, isn't he?"
"Elsa! Come here and say hello to Mr. and Mrs—"
Her head was swimming by the time the dusk turned the sky an orange-pink. After another round of standing at her father's side, listening to him speak with a few employees, her mother leaned down and whispered in her, "Why don't you go check out the sunset darling?"
Elsa glanced up at Idunn with wide eyes and her mother pecked her temple. In a movement of impulse, she caught her mother's hand and Idunn squeezed her fingers, then let go.
"Go on," she whispered.
Elsa didn't need further reassuring. She ducked her head, mumbled something under her breath, and discreetly slipped away. Making her way to the balcony across the room, Elsa observed her fellow adolescents, several of whom sulked by the hall or lingered at the buffet.
Most of the kids around don't even look like they want to be here.
Elsa reached the balcony leaned against the glass wall, crossing her arms over her stomach as she watched the party. Her shoulders dropped and she heaved a sigh. She couldn't blame them, but...
A sparkle in her peripheral vision made her look up. Her mother was speaking with a few people—one of them being a gentleman sporting thick sideburns—and Elsa smiled slightly at the happy glow on her face. The pearls around her neck complimented her diamond earrings and dark violet dress beautifully. At least her mother was enjoying herself.
Elsa shifted her gaze and noticed other kids loitering around the people Idunn was speaking with, their expressions sullen and withdrawn. Her smile dropped.
They're stuck like me too...
Elsa's eyes drifted to a girl around her age at another woman's elbow and she paused. The chandelier's light bounced off the thin gold chain she wore and illuminated her blue eyes. Elsa's hands tightened around her arms and she swallowed.
She's pretty.
A flush shot down Elsa's neck and her heart skipped a beat.
No, I can't think like that.
She busied herself with looking over the way the beach house was structured. She traced the varnished pine beams and floorboards, taking in the view of the ocean and night sky through the large glass windows on the far left of the room. The white spiral staircase reminded her of the ivy crawling up the bricks of her grandmother's home. Elsa gazed out the windows and watched the gentle waves lap at the sandy white shore.
It really was a beautiful place.
She slipped out onto the balcony and watched the setting sun, soothed by the feel of the ocean breeze in her hair. She stayed there for several minutes, the party dropping to background noise as she watched the waves. Idunn called her back eventually and Elsa felt a pull of regret at leaving the ocean tides. When decorum and stoicism were required of her at dinner, Elsa thought of glass buildings and high rooftops to ignore the way her heart thudded every time a pair of pretty eyes looked her way.
The pills tasted strangely foul as they went down her throat. Elsa took a fast, heavy sip of water to wash it away and wiped her mouth.
I should have eaten something beforehand.
Elsa placed her medication and water bottle into her bag, glancing at her alarm clock every other second. She had classes in an hour and she had yet to rid herself of the chest pains and sweating her body was going through. She glanced at her alarm clock, counting down the seconds until her medication kicked in. It seemed to be doing less and less nowadays. She shoved her papers into her bag and tried to concentrate on the physical action of her morning routine, instead of the shaking her fingers kept doing.
"Elsa, you ready?"
Elsa jumped slightly and glanced over her shoulder. Meg poked her head into the bedroom, brow furrowed.
"If you want to get to class, it's best to go now." Meg rolled her eyes and leaned on the doorway, arms crossed. "Weatherman says it's going to be a fabulous dreary day."
Elsa turned back to her things, trying to ignore the way her shoulders trembled. "I'm almost finished. I just need—"
A loud ringing startled her. She whirled around to see Meg digging her phone out from her pocket.
"Sorry," Meg said. "That's Herc. Do you mind?"
Elsa shook her head and Meg flashed her a small smile before heading down the hallway toward the living room. The blonde breathed a shaky sigh of relief and zipped up her bag. Her fingers shook. Meg's phone ringing had sent a dreadful reminder shooting through her body.
I still haven't called Anna. I haven't even answered her texts.
Every time she had picked up her cell to contact her girlfriend, her hands had trembled so much that she hadn't been able to discern the letters and numbers on the screen. A sharp feeling in her chest had made breathing difficult. Then the thought of what she would even say to Anna had sent cold and hot flashes through her. Despite her meeting with Belle, Elsa hadn't found the courage to speak with Anna last night or this morning.
I'll talk to her face to face.
A thump from the hallway snapped Elsa from her reverie. She jerked her head towards the door and her ears picked up the sound of harsh whispering and footsteps.
What's going on?
Elsa bit her lip and shoved her phone into her bag. She walked over to her door with soft footsteps, listening intently.
"I think she's going to be okay."
Elsa blinked. Meg's voice was quiet, but stern. She didn't see the other woman in the hallway so she guessed that Meg was either in the living room or the kitchen.
"Yeah, she actually made it out of bed early today Herc. That's always a good sign." Elsa heard a shuffle and saw Meg's high ponytail poke out from the living room. She ducked back into the doorway slightly, brow furrowed. "Hey I'm not being a worrywart! Knock off the teasing would you? I'm just—ugh, fine! I'm worried about Elsa. A lot. She hasn't been doing so good."
A pang of guilt hit Elsa right in the stomach. She leaned against the doorway, dropping her gaze to the floor.
"He's only worried about you, my darling. Please try, for him."
She clenched her hands into fists, a cold sweat breaking out on her skin. Elsa inhaled shakily, pressing her hands to her chest. Her heart beat erratically underneath her palm. A wave of light headedness washed over her and Elsa stumbled back to her bed.
She knocked her knee against her nightstand in a sloppy attempt to grab her water bottle. Letting out a sharp yelp, Elsa gripped the edge of the stand and shut her eyes tightly.
"Elsa?!"
Barely a second later and Meg pushed open the door.
"Hey, I heard a noise, you alright?" she asked, looking at Elsa, then around the room.
"I'm fine," Elsa gasped, holding her water bottle to her chest. "I just bumped my knee on the stand." Her chest felt tight and her skin prickled as if needles kept assaulting her.
Meg frowned. "You sure?"
Elsa nodded and took a sip, avoiding Meg's gaze. Her hand shook terribly however and she noticed Meg's eyes dip down to them.
"Elsa, you're shaking all over..." Meg approached her and gently laid a hand on her arm.
Elsa flinched. She tried to respond, but the words caught in her throat and the flashes over her body alternated between hot and cold. She sat down on her bed, trembling.
Through wheezing breaths, she stuttered, "I don't think I can make it to class today..."
One, two. One, two. Don't feel. Get it together.
The sound of keys jangling made her look up. Meg poked her head back into their shared bedroom, dressed in her work attire.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you Elsa?" Meg asked.
Elsa shook her head, trying to regulate her breathing. Her chest hurt and her lungs felt sore after so many breathing exercises. She steadied a hand on her heart and tried to offer Meg a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine on my own Meg. I just...can't go to class today."
Meg looked as if she wanted to protest, violet eyes stormy with worry and hands outstretched towards her. Elsa's smile tightened and her roommate sighed. She placed her hands on her hips and shrugged.
"Alright, but promise me you'll call me if you need anything?"
"I promise," Elsa said. Her smile relaxed a bit when Meg heaved a sigh and slung her bag over her shoulder. "I'll call you on your lunch break."
Meg shot her a quick glance, a suspicious glint in her eye. Elsa was about to reassure her again when the brunette just huffed. "Well, I'm going to trust you to do that, but if you don't, I'll call you myself."
"You're going to get Phil angry at you," Elsa mumbled, wrapping her arms around her torso.
Meg snorted, turning on her heel. "I can handle Goat Man. It's you and Herc hiding shit from me that gets to me."
Elsa's throat tightened and she averted her gaze, warmth flooding her cheeks and chest. She rubbed a thumb into her wrist, feeling her nerves relax a bit. "Okay."
Meg glanced over her shoulder and smirked. "Chin up, things get better."
A low rumble sounded outside their window. They both turned and frowned at the bleak, gray sky.
"Looks like rain," Meg grumbled. She glanced at Elsa and the blonde resisted the urge to grimace, clenching her hands into fists in her lap. "Well, I'm off. There's leftovers from last night if you're hungry."
"Have fun at work," Elsa called out as Meg disappeared down the hallway.
She heard her roommate laugh sarcastically and grumble, "God, I hate driving in the rain."
That makes two of us.
The front door opened and shut a few seconds later. Elsa waited on her bed until several minutes had passed. Her heart rate kept fluctuating—up, down, then up again. After taking a small sip of water, Elsa dug through her bag and pulled out her cell phone. The lock screen flared to life and she felt a sorrowful twinge at seeing Anna's face.
Another rumble made her jump. She whirled around and frowned at the sight of miniscule raindrops beginning to splat on her window. A shiver ran down her spine and the hairs on the back of her neck rose. Elsa stood up jerkily and crossed to the window, grabbing the blinds. She slid them shut and dismal gray sky disappeared. The room was cloaked in a cold, dim light and Elsa sat down on the edge of her bed with a heavy sigh.
Now there was nothing to distract her from the thoughts running rampant in her head, or the insistent whispering at the back of her mind.
I can't let this go on any longer.
Elsa bit her lip and picked up her phone again. Anna's face flashed again before her eyes and her chest tightened. Elsa swallowed and mentally counted to ten. "Okay," she whispered to herself, "get it together Elsa. Come on, you can do this."
Before she had any more chances to second guess herself, she flipped through her contacts to Anna's number. Her thumb moved to the call button and fear flared up within her. Elsa's breath hitched and every muscle in her body tensed.
Not again.
She tightened her grip on her phone. Calling could easily solve her situation, she tried to rationalize. In all likelihood, Anna was probably eager to hear from her. But Elsa couldn't stop her mind from conjuring up every worst possible scenario.
What if she's angry with me? I probably hurt her when I refused to let her see me. No, wait, I did hurt her. What if Anna doesn't want to speak with me? What if she got fed up with my silence and decided to call off our relationship? What if she thought I was being completely irrational over something so silly as a present and she thought I wasn't worth spending time on?
The last thought wasn't entirely out of the question in her opinion. It made Elsa break out into a cold sweat. The room began to close in on her and her heart rate jumped. The blonde jumped off her bed, immediately rummaging through her bag to pull out her other bottle of medication. Her morning dosage seemed to be having little effect. The other prescription her psychiatrist had given her was for quicker effect. It was okay to use, she told herself. This is what it was for. Her lungs strained for oxygen and she was suddenly reminded of the panic attack she had suffered at the cinema on her date with Anna.
Elsa's fingers trembled as she twisted the cap and took out two pills. She swallowed them with a large gulp of water and grimaced at the bland taste. Blinking rapidly to rid herself of the tears watering behind her eyes, Elsa set down her pills and water bottle. She frowned at her cell phone, her stomach clenching at Anna's face on the screen.
"I'm such a mess," she whispered. Elsa ran a hand through her hair, wincing when she noticed her blonde locks were falling out of her usual style. "You can do this," she repeated. Shakily, she typed.
"Anna, can we talk?"
Elsa wished she could find it in her to ask Anna that question instead of sending a message, but her body shook at the idea. The wind whistled outside her window. She glanced over her shoulder to see the darkening sky peek through the blinds. The sound of harsh rain, the shadows of dark gray clouds and the low lighting of her room—all of it was unnerving. Elsa pushed away the images of tombstones, coffins, and black clothes.
Her knuckles turned white as she waited for a response. She started when her phone rang. Anna's number popped up on the screen and Elsa's heart jumped in her throat.
Of course Anna would respond with a call!
Elsa tried to steady her breathing as she accepted. The phone wasn't even halfway to her ear before Anna spoke.
"Elsa! Elsa are you there?!"
Elsa bit her lip and slowly sat down on the edge of her bed, wrapping her free arm around her torso. "I'm here," she muttered.
"O-oh! Oh, right, of course you're there. I mean who else would call me from your cell? Only makes sense that it's you. Right, yeah. I, uh, was kind of wondering if, err, when you'd call—"
"Anna," Elsa cut in. She didn't want to be reminded of the fact that she actually hadn't called. She heard her girlfriend inhale sharply and felt a twinge of guilt. "S-sorry, I just need to tell you something."
"Of course," Anna squeaked. Elsa heard her shifting on the other line and wondered if she was in her dorm or near her class.
I hope I didn't disrupt her morning.
"What did you want to talk about?" Anna asked, soft and gentle.
She's not mad at me.
Elsa exhaled shakily, clutching her dress. "I, um, I was wondering if you still wanted to go to the hockey game with me on Wednesday night."
"Is that it?"
Elsa winced. Anna sounded genuinely confused and the blonde couldn't blame her. "I wanted to speak with you face to face about our...our—" she glanced to the empty necklace case on her nightstand, throat dry, "about the other night."
"You don't want to talk right now?" The disappointment couldn't be clearer in Anna's voice.
Elsa twirled the end of her braid between her fingers, smiling sadly. "No, face to face if you don't mind." The absurdity of her request wasn't lost on her, but her lack of energy and nerves were weighing down on her.
"Does that mean you're not coming to class?"
Elsa shook her head. "N-no, I'm—" she glanced at her medication, the orange bottles looking out of place on her lilac comforter. "I'm ill," Elsa whispered and her throat clogged up.
I'm very ill.
"Oh." Elsa heard the rain fall louder as Anna's voice quieted. "Are you sure you don't want me to come over?"
"No," Elsa said. Anna sighed and Elsa could practically feel the disappointment coming from her. "I-I just need time," she continued, bottom lip quivering.
"Okay," Anna replied. "Um, so Wednesday then?"
Elsa let out a sigh of relief. "Yes, I'll see you Wednesday."
"Do you want me to—wait, do you have tickets to the game? I meant to give you yours, but then, well, you know. Things happened."
Elsa grimaced. "Yes, I have my ticket. Belle came over and had extras." She gripped the end of her braid tightly. "That's why I wanted to call you and ask if you were still up to going to the game together."
"Of course I'd still be up for going with you!" Anna exclaimed. For the first time since they started her call, Elsa could hear the familiar warmth underneath Anna's surprise. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Because I've been ignoring you for no reason.
Elsa shoved the pessimistic thought aside and allowed herself a small smile. "Then I'll see you Wednesday?"
There was a short pause and she heard Anna grunting on the other end. "You're not coming to classes tomorrow either?"
Elsa bit her lip, eyes darting to her medication again. "No, I-I'm not feeling up to it Anna." She hoped she didn't sound as unconvincing as she felt.
"Okay," Anna said readily. Elsa's heart swelled and she sagged with relief. "I'll see you Wednesday then." There was still a note of sadness in Anna's voice, but it was small and almost went unnoticed.
"Wednesday night," Elsa repeated.
"Do you want me to pick you up?" Anna asked, her voice rising in pitch at the end.
Elsa giggled weakly at Anna's insistence. "I'll meet you there." She needed a prescription refill and planned to skip classes to get one.
Anna sighed. "Okay. Well, actually that works fine. I'll meet you in front of the stadium then!"
Elsa's shoulders drooped and she pressed her free hand into her side, pushing down the guilt at having to reject Anna's offers. "Yes. I'll see you soon Anna."
"Bye," her girlfriend whispered.
The call ended with a soft click.
Elsa lowered her phone to her lap and stared at the hardwood flooring of her bedroom. She heard a rumble behind her and the pitter-patter of rain increased in volume. The chill in the air hung over her like an unrelenting presence. Her medication had finally kicked in. Weak and exhausted, Elsa quietly slipped under her bed covers and dozed off.
"I can't wait to taste Mom's cooking when we come home," Kristoff said.
"That makes two of us," Anna chirped as she unzipped her brother's duffel bag. Besides the luggage case Kristoff was looming over, this was the last bit of unpacking they had to do. "I'm sick of living off campus food and canned goods."
Kristoff glanced at her, putting away a pair of jeans. "Don't tell me you've made that a habit."
She threw a shirt at him. "I'm joking you big grump."
He smiled in self-satisfaction. "Good. Did you eat anything this morning?"
Anna's stomach twisted.
"Anna, you need to eat something. You can't just skip meals this often."
Rapunzel's words this morning to her were an ironic echo from three years ago. She pushed them away.
She grabbed a few shirts and muttered, "I grabbed a banana before class."
Kristoff folded the shirt she had thrown at him. "Want to grab a bite after this? I'm starving."
Anna shook her head, giving her brother a half-smile. "I might have to skip out. Exams are coming up and my theatre troupe wanted to squeeze in some last minute meet-ups before our play."
"When is that?" Kristoff asked.
Anna pursed her lips. She hadn't talked about the play with Elsa. "Friday," she said absentmindedly.
Kristoff tucked the shirt into his dresser and looked over at her. "So one last game and one final play before winter vacation."
Anna nodded and smiled at him. "Yeah and then we can go home for break." His expression softened and she immediately knew what he was thinking about. "Sven's going to be ecstatic about seeing you."
Kristoff snorted and she laughed. Then, for the next several minutes, the two unpacked everything quietly. The only noise besides their shuffling and grunts was the rainfall outside. It had remained steady all Monday afternoon. Anna frowned slightly.
I should have mentioned something about winter break to Elsa.
"Have you two talked yet?"
Anna stiffened, the jeans and shirts in her arms suddenly feeling heavier. She felt Kristoff's curious stare burning into her back and dropped his clothes onto the bed.
"Um," she started, biting her lip. "Yeah actually," Anna glanced over her shoulder at Kristoff, flashing him a grin, "we kind of did!"
Kristoff quirked an eyebrow at her. He shoved a pair of shoes into his closet and crossed his arms, leaning against it. "What do you mean you 'kind of' talked?"
Anna laughed nervously and gently smoothed out her brother's clothes. She folded them and placed them into his dresser. "It's not what you think. It wasn't bad, just short. She called me earlier this morning." His eyebrow inched higher and Anna rolled her eyes. "Not like that. Elsa just said she wanted to talk with me face to face. I got the feeling she was really uncomfortable over the phone."
Kristoff frowned. "Talk to you face to face? Don't you two have classes together?"
Anna nodded and went back to the rest of his unpacked luggage. "Yeah, but they're big lecture hall classes and besides, Elsa didn't come to classes today."
Kristoff's frown deepened. "So she's—"
"She's sick," Anna cut in sharply. His mouth shut and she continued, looking down. "She didn't sound that great over the phone."
She didn't really sound sick though either. Just kind of depressed.
She pushed the suspicions away from her mind. "Maybe it's the weather. Maybe she caught something. Elsa agreed to meet me outside the stadium on Wednesday night. Besides, isn't that better? Talking somewhere privately? Who the hell discusses private stuff during class anyway?"
Kristoff shrugged. "There's before and after class you know."
Anna snorted, picking up a few shirts. Kristoff mimicked her actions.
"Not enough time," she said.
"So you two are going to wait even more to talk things out?"
She nodded. He frowned at her as they sorted through his dresser, putting clothes in and going back and forth.
"I really don't get why she couldn't just do it over the phone. It sounds like she's needlessly avoiding the issue."
Anna gritted her teeth, chest clenching tightly. "She's not Kristoff. She seemed nervous is all. I mean, this is probably all new to her and I don't know what's on her plate."
Kristoff's frown deepened and Anna saw the familiar glint of worry in his eyes. "Yeah, I get that, but Anna. I'm just worried is all. Hans used to do that to you too you know?"
Anger and hurt flared quickly in her veins. Anna gripped the dresser with white knuckles, jaw set and eyes hard. "Yeah, but she's not Hans."
If Elsa was anything like Hans, she wouldn't have cried like that.
"Can people please stop bringing that part of my life up?" Anna glared at Kristoff, pushing back the bitterness she felt every time Hans was mentioned under a blanket of regret and anger. "Everything's better now. Elsa's a better person than Hans ever was. I'm better." Kristoff's frown was replaced by a worried look and her fury cooled a bit. Anna's expression softened and she relaxed her grip on the dresser, muttering, "Hans never reached out to me. He just stayed absorbed in his own head."
Her brother sighed and put away the clothes he was holding. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and Anna resisted the urge to flinch.
"I'm sorry Anna. I don't mean to dredge up bad memories, but you do know you'll have to talk about Hans sooner or later right?" Kristoff asked. She stiffened, the hairs on the back of her neck rising.
"I don't see why she has to know," Anna mumbled. She stared at the wood grain of Kristoff's dresser, feeling her insides twist and squirm. "It's my own business..."
Kristoff sighed and pulled her closer. Her cheek brushed his shirt and her nose was filled with his cologne.
"It's not for her that I think you should tell her. It's for you." His hand began to gently rub up and down her arm. "I know you Anna. You hate keeping things from people. It eats away at you. Do you really think you'll ever have the best relationship with Elsa if you don't tell her what happened?"
Anna bit her lip, wrapping her arms around her torso. "No," she admitted. Her vision blurred. "I'm just scared..."
Kristoff gave her a one armed hug. "Don't let that get you down."
Anna huffed, blinking back the wetness in her eyes. "How the hell did this conversation go from Elsa and me to Hans and me?"
Kristoff shrugged. "They both dated you."
She shot him a dark glare.
"Well, one currently dates you," he said.
Anna ran a hand through her hair, sighing. Frustration and fatigue boiled in her veins. "Kristoff please. I don't need judgements and jokes right now."
She felt, more than saw, him soften against her. He pulled her in closer, squeezing her in a hug again. "I'm sorry Anna," Kristoff muttered. "You know I only do this because I care right?"
Despite her anger, Anna's lips twitched into a small smile. "Yeah. You're not exactly the smoothest person." He made an offended noise and she laughed lightly, poking him in the ribs with her elbow. "Definitely a softie though."
"As an extension of my apology, I won't argue against that." Kristoff leaned his head against her hair and Anna's smile widened slightly.
For a minute, they just stood like that. Side to side, with her body tucked up against his. A wave of warm nostalgia flowed through her and Anna recalled the time she had first moved in with his family. Back then, it had been the opposite. He'd been helping her put away her clothes in the spare room her new parents had set up for her. Since then, he had remained a staunch presence at her side.
"So what did you two talk about if it wasn't about your anniversary?"
Anna snorted and pushed Kristoff away, making a face at him. "I don't think you've been listening to a word I just said."
Kristoff rolled his eyes. "Hey, I've been listening. What you told me doesn't actually say you guys actually talked." Anna glared up at him and he crossed his arms. "I mean, deep conversation shit Anna. You two need to be blunt."
Anna sighed and sat down on the edge of Kristoff's bed. "I tried that on our anniversary night and it only made things worse."
Kristoff plopped down beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder. "What did you say to her this morning?"
Anna shrugged. "Well, we- we really didn't talk about much else than what I already told you. She said she still wanted to go to the game with me and I asked if she had tickets. Her friend gave her one apparently. Then, I sort of asked if she wanted me to drop by her place or pick her up for the game. But she…"
She avoided pretty much all my questions.
Anna's insides squirmed. She fiddled with the cuff of her letterman jacket. The sudden distance and aloof behavior from Elsa was more than simply bewildering. It hurt.
Kristoff's stare bore into her shoulder. Anna cupped her hands together and sighed.
"I don't really know what to do Kristoff. She's been acting so weird and I have no clue what I've done to make her act so distant." Anna moaned and held her head in her hands. "What am I going to do on Wednesday night? Do you really think I should just be blunt and ask her what's wrong? Or should I just act natural and wait for her to fess up?"
"Hey," Kristoff wrapped his arm around her, tucking her under his chin, "you'll figure it out. I know you will."
She smiled in spite of the turbulent emotions swirling around inside her.
"In the meantime!" Kristoff got up and walked back to his duffel bag. "I've got a ton of pictures to show you from the trip."
Anna pursed her lips. "What? I thought you already sent every picture you took through your phone."
He smirked and a teasing glint appeared in his eyes. "The team and I saved for the best for last. These ones are going to be framed and put on the Wall of Shame."
Anna laughed and bounced to his side. Just as he began to pull out a large stack of photos, an idea popped into Anna's mind.
Wait. Pictures. That's it!
Monday ended with a light, dreary drizzle of rain. Tuesday came and went, gray and cold. Elsa refilled her prescription with Meg waiting patiently by her side. Both days, Elsa was a wreck, barely able to hold her nerves in or eat. So she condensed her meals to small portions and labored through homework for several hours. Showers were a chore to get through. Chores themselves were a struggle. And she wished for her struggle to end soon. So it was frankly quite a shock, to both her and Meg, when Wednesday evening came by and—
"I'm driving there."
Meg dropped her magazine, glancing up at Elsa with wide eyes. "Wha?! Elsa I thought we agreed to—"
"I know you and Herc originally had plans tonight. I don't want you canceling things on my behalf," Elsa cut in. She was already dressed in black knee-high boots, slacks, and a long sleeved shirt. Slipping on her peacoat, she said, "You two should get to enjoy a night out once in a while. Or at least a night in."
"Eh, but Elsa, Herc's a nice guy. He'd understand if I was a bit late. Besides it's raining and—"
"I can handle a little rain," Elsa cut in sharply.
Meg clamped her mouth shut and stared at her with one eyebrow quirked. Elsa's expression softened a bit.
"Please Meg, I need to do this one thing by myself. Just this one thing."
How could I ever explain myself to Anna if it isn't just me?
Her roommate kept staring, studying the determination in her eyes. Elsa stared back, refusing to falter. Then Meg smirked and crossed the room to wrap her arms around Elsa.
"Go get 'em Ice Queen. I'll call Herc and let him know plans have changed."
Elsa pulled away with a watery smile. "Okay."
This is horrible.
Elsa stared out at the stadium from inside the safety of her car. The dark sky was filled with heavy rain clouds, water splattering against the ground with speed and force. The weather report hadn't been an exaggeration when it was stated there would be a heavy chance of precipitation. She was having a hard time making out certain things through her car window. The raindrops slithered and blurred out the sights.
I can't go out there.
Elsa trembled in her seat, knuckles white on her steering wheel. Every pitter-patter of rain made her shiver. She inhaled slowly and shakily, eyes darting to her cell phone. The screen read 7:10. There was twenty minutes until the game started.
Quickly, she sent Anna a message.
"I'm outside the stadium, in the parking lot. Are you here yet?"
She barely had to wait. The phone rang and this time Elsa was less hesitant in answering.
"Elsa!"
The way Anna said her name made her melt. Elsa leaned back in her chair, smiling shyly.
"Sorry, I—ouch! I'm going to be a bit late." Elsa frowned. "I need to pick up something so do you mind going on without me?"
It's only fair.
Elsa pursed her lips at her mind's wayward thought. "I'll meet you inside then."
"Do you have an umbrella? This rain is awful."
The waves of anxiety were dulled by Anna's soft, worried voice. Elsa fumbled for the umbrella in the seat next to her, muttering, "I do. How long will you be?"
"Shouldn't be longer than ten, " Anna chirped.
For once the anxiety, pessimism, and dreariness lifted from Elsa's mind. She could practically hear the smile in Anna's voice. Elsa pressed her cell closer to her ear, clutching her peacoat tightly with her free hand.
"See you soon then," she whispered.
"Bye!" Anna exclaimed.
Before the call ended, Elsa punctuated her goodbye with a short air kiss. She heard Anna gasp and stutter before the line ended. Then, steeling what little nerves she had, Elsa grabbed her umbrella and purse.
She was almost out her door before she paused by her dashboard compartment. An itch crawled along her skin. Elsa ground her jaw together before fumbling with the compartment and withdrawing a pair of black gloves.
Sighing, Elsa slipped them on and exited her car.
The sky rumbled above her and the dark clouds made her tighten her grip on her umbrella. She hurriedly opened it and raised it over her head as raindrops splattered to the ground. Elsa pushed down her aversion to the rain and hurried through the parking lot. The lights from indoors made her less anxious, but the sight of people spilling into the stadium made her wish she had thought to meet Belle somewhere outside. Elsa sent her friend a quick text as she ducked inside.
It didn't take long for her to pass her ticket along and head towards the ring. She was early enough that people were still lax about the game, chatting amicably with family or friends or buying drinks and taking seats. Elsa looked around the ice rink hopefully, trying to spot Belle among the crowd.
Where is—
"Excuse me lady," another student grumbled.
Elsa jumped and moved to the side, stammering an apology as other people brushed past her. She mentally kicked herself for her lack of awareness and hurried to find her seat. Elsa clutched her purse and umbrella to her chest as she walked through the rows, muttering apologies if someone so much as glanced her way.
I don't like this. There's so many people here.
"Elsa?"
She nearly dropped her purse in surprise.
Hans sat a feet away from her, but when he noticed her, he got up immediately and started making his way to her. Elsa felt her stomach sink to the ice.
Really? Now, of all times? What's he even doing here?!
"I didn't expect to see you here tonight," Hans said, sidling up to her side with a smile. "Why did you come?"
Elsa bit her lip, looking over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't in someone's way. "A friend of mine gave me tickets and we agreed to meet up. I haven't seen her yet though."
"Oh!" Hans flattened himself against the row, gesturing to the side. "Want to sit with us until you find her?"
Elsa pressed her purse tighter against her chest. "No, it's fine. I'd hate to be a bother."
Hans shook his head and Elsa's stomach sunk lower. "I insist. Come on, I'm sitting with my brothers over here." He gestured for her to follow and reluctantly she did.
Two pairs of similar hazel eyes looked up as she approached. Elsa stiffened when she recognized the same man with glasses from class a while back. Her eyes darted between Hans and his brothers, something clicking in her mind.
Well no wonder the look he gave Anna in class was bugging me. They look alike.
"Elsa, this is Oscar and Maximilian," Hans said.
The man with the darkest auburn hair—almost brown—stood up and held out his hand. Elsa took it and gave him a firm shake. "Just call me Max," he said easily, smiling slightly at her.
Despite her nervousness, Elsa found herself returning his smile. Unlike Hans or Oscar, Max wasn't clean-shaven, sporting a trim stubble. "Pleasure," she mumbled.
Max sat down with a grin. Elsa turned her attention to Hans's other brother. She guessed out of the three of them, Max was the oldest because Oscar looked closer in age to Hans. However, he was slimmer than both of them and wore glasses.
And he was staring at Elsa with the most scrutinizing gaze she had ever witnessed since her father.
Elsa felt every hair on her body rise.
Max jabbed his elbow into Oscar's eyes and the spell was broken. Oscar flushed and stood up, offering his hand stiffly to Elsa. "Pleasure to meet your acquaintance Miss Arendelle. I'm Oscar."
Elsa maintained her smile as she shook his hand, but her brow furrowed slightly. "Pleasure's all mine." Hesitantly, she added, "How do you know I'm an Arendelle?"
It had been years since she had to introduce herself like this.
"I told them," Hans quipped, sitting down next to Max. "I thought I recognized your name when we first met and when I mentioned it to my father offhandedly, he said he had spoken with a Stefan Arendelle years before."
A shiver ran down Elsa's spine. The world tipped a bit.
"We only ever heard about Stefan and Idunn Arendelle, the previous heads of Arendelle Corp, having one child. A girl younger than Hans if I remember correctly." Oscar peered at her. "That's you right?" he asked softly.
Elsa nodded. Her tongue felt too thick and her throat was too dry to properly form words. Shakily, she sat down next to Hans, fisting her hands in her lap.
Max reached over and patted her shoulder. She almost flinched.
"We're sorry about the car crash."
Elsa's chest tightened and for a moment, the downpour surrounding the stadium sounded louder, closer. She heard the slam of a door and then the roar of an engine. The ground blurred into the hardwood flooring of her family's home and she almost felt as angry as she had been at the time. In the distance, she heard her father's furious shouting.
Dimly, she was aware of Hans and his brothers talking around her.
"Max, be mindful of bringing up such things out of nowhere," Oscar hissed.
Elsa heard her mother arguing with her father as they disappeared down the pathway to their car. She knew Kai had been watching her sympathetically.
"What? It's been years since then! You'd think—"
Hans squeezed her shoulder and Elsa was jolted from her reverie. She snapped her gaze to him and he smiled sadly.
"We're sorry about your parents Elsa."
Elsa cringed and wished she was somewhere else. She shook her head, gently moving her shoulder away from his hand. Her skin prickled where he touched.
"Don't be," she mumbled, glancing around the stadium. "It's been years since they died." She forced a smile on her face. "I've come to terms with it."
Max visibly winced and Oscar shot his brothers a dirty look.
"They lack tact," he grumbled, turning his attention to the ice rink.
Max rubbed the back of his head and decided to mutter to Oscar while Hans turned back to Elsa, offering her an obvious apologetic smile.
"Sorry, we didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
Elsa shook her head quickly. "It's fine," she mumbled. She tucked a lock of loose hair behind her ear and looked around for the hundredth time that evening. Belle wasn't anywhere in sight. Elsa pulled out her phone and quickly began to text her. Thankfully, she didn't have to wait long.
"Sorry Elsa, we'll be there soon! Adam had some trouble with his, ugh, hair. Again."
"By the way Elsa, what are you studying at the university for?"
She blinked. "Huh? O-oh, architecture. I'm majoring in architecture."
Hans raised his eyebrows. "Not business or anything like that?"
"Er, no." Elsa paused, eyes flickering with sadness. "Actually, I used to major in business. But when I moved to this part of the city, I changed my major from business to architecture."
Anything that reminded her of her parents had been cut cleanly if it had been possible. The months—years, her mind whispered—following their deaths had been her worst depressive episode. Majoring in architecture had been like a balm to her soul.
"So you're not going to head their company in the future?"
Elsa's heart twisted and it felt as if something had stabbed her in the chest. She clutched her purse until her knuckles visibly strained against her gloves.
"N-no. I'm not planning on being the CEO for Arendelle Corp."
For the first time, Hans's face fell. Elsa blinked in confusion as the eager smile was wiped from Hans's features. Her eyes flickered from her phone to him. Against her better judgment—and her wishes to just get up and wait somewhere else for Anna—Elsa turned to Hans. "Why do you ask?"
Hans shrugged, a sheepish smile curling on his lips. "I'm majoring in business." Elsa quirked an eyebrow. "Specifically, real estate," he added.
The ice rink suddenly felt colder. Elsa shifted, turning her phone over and over in her hands absentmindedly. Something was nagging her at the back of her mind.
"You see," Hans placed his elbows on his knees, a glint in his eyes, "when I first started majoring in business, my parents asked me what I wanted to accomplish." He chuckled, but for once Elsa didn't find the gesture awkward or endearing. She dug her nails into her coat. "It wasn't a hard thing to think about you know? Some of us just know what we want."
His hazel eyes flashed and in the lighting of the stadium, they looked green.
"We don't just spend our days being indecisive or worrying about petty things like relationships. Things like that, girlfriends and boyfriends, just hold you down. They're not worth the time."
Out of the corner of her eye, Elsa noticed Oscar lift his head over Max's shoulder. The other man glared harshly at his little brother.
"You would know about something like that wouldn't you Hans?" Oscar growled.
Elsa blinked. Hans stiffened and glared right back at him.
"Well if I want something I'm not just going to dawdle all day about it. I'm going to go for it." Hans's eyes narrowed. "Even if I have to cut out certain people in my life. If I don't think they live up to my standards, why waste my time on them?"
Oscar growled and Elsa leaned back, eyes darting between the two of them.
God, don't tell me they're going to start arguing here? Maybe I should just excuse myself...
Max rolled his eyes. "Don't mind them. Oscar likes to tell Hans off for breaking up with his girlfriend a couple of years ago."
Elsa twitched. "O-oh, I'm sorry I didn't—"
Hans snorted. "It was a dying relationship. Better to just end it." Then he grinned back at Elsa and she stared at the sudden change in his behavior. "Anyway, I told my parents I wanted to be someone people looked up to." He winked and a shiver ran down Elsa's spine. "Big in every area you could say."
Max stifled a laugh under his hand and Hans's smile vanished again.
"But unlike some of us," he continued, "my parents didn't want me to climb the social ladder so easily. Max here is a talent scout and my dad managed to get him into his current position with his connections."
"It was after an injury cut me out of hockey," Max grumbled. He sneered at Hans. "You make it sound as if Pa just snapped his fingers and gave me the job."
"Whatever," Hans muttered. He switched his attention back to Elsa and she forced a smile on her face. "Anyway, since my parents made it clear they weren't going to extend the same favors as they did with my brothers—"
This time Oscar scoffed. "I'm a professor Hans. There weren't any favors done for my job."
"—I figured I'd have to look elsewhere for help," Hans said, raising his voice slightly. He looked at Elsa pointedly.
He wants something from me.
The blonde twitched, realization dawning on her. "You thought I could help you?"
Hand nodded, grinning. "After my father told me a bit about you, I thought we could get to know each more. You're still the heiress to your father's company right?"
Elsa blinked, mind spinning. "I...well yes I am, but I had no intentions of inheriting it."
Especially not after their deaths.
Elsa hugged her purse to herself, biting her bottom lip. "I told Kai, one of my father's old associates, I planned to be the head of the architectural division after I got my degree." Her ears were ringing. "I never wanted to be behind some desk, watching everything being run from afar."
Hans shrugged. "I thought you could help me get an internship at your family's company. Arendelle Corp. is still a pretty respected real estate company, even after everything that's happened."
Elsa shook her head, eyes wide. "I might be able to help you make connections Hans, but I can't get you hired by the board of directors simply based on...on word alone. I'm the heiress yes, but they're not exactly rushing to hear who I want hired."
Especially not after my abrupt leave...
Hans laughed and Elsa stared at him.
"Well, no, no. I'm not expecting it to be so easy. I thought we could talk over lunch? If you'd just take the time to listen, I have big plans for Arendelle Corp—"
"Wait." Elsa held up a hand, her shock ending. "Is that why you've been coming down to my apartment? Talking to me?" she hissed. "To get into my good graces so I'd be willing to offer you a job at my family's company?"
Hans's smile slowly slipped. He frowned and Elsa realized she couldn't tell if he was hurt about her abrupt suggestion or annoyed at being interrupted. She couldn't push away the chill in her bones.
"Well, when you put it like that you make it sound so awful Elsa."
Max and Oscar finally turned away from the rink, their own conversation dying away.
"Hey Hans," Max growled, "put a sock in it. Can't you see she's bored of your talk?"
"Talk about something else," Oscar muttered. "Something that doesn't involve business."
Hans faltered and Elsa wondered if it was only because he'd been ganged up on by his brothers. He sighed through his nose and smiled sheepishly at Elsa.
"Er, they're right. I'm sorry Elsa, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Hans rubbed the back of his neck, lips pursed into a straight, thin line. "I didn't mean to make it sound as if I was using you."
The bottom of Elsa's spine grew taut with discomfort. She coughed into her hand, looking away momentarily. "That's alright Hans. I understand why you did it." I just don't like that you did it at all.
"Oh?" Hans perked up. Elsa nodded stiffly. "Oh that's great, I'd thought you'd be mad at me." He laughed. "It would have made all that work of trying to get to know you better a waste."
Elsa's hands balled into fists. She ground her teeth. "It's like you were saying. I was born into that kind of world so I know what people will try when they want to make connections."
I'm not some object though!
Hans laughed again and nudged Max besides him. "Hey, I told you she was a smart woman."
Elsa's cold fury vanished. She blinked in confusion as Max sneered at Hans. "I'm sorry, I'm confused."
"Baby Hans here and Daddy used to fight about his taste in women," Max teased.
Elsa blanched and Hans drew back as if he'd been slapped.
"What?!" Elsa shrieked. Her spine straightened so fast it almost snapped. A few people around her glanced at her in surprise and she flushed. Embarrassment and anxiety coiling tightly in her stomach. Elsa ducked her head a bit and hissed, "What?!"
Max snickered until Oscar smacked him upside the head.
"Ow!"
"God, the both of you are an embarrassment!" Oscar snapped.
"I didn't do anything!" Hans said.
"Were you going to?" Elsa asked. She inched away when Hans stared at her.
"No, no Elsa! Don't get the wrong idea." Hans rolled his eyes. "Max was teasing me about my ex." He glared at his brother. "Again. My parents and I fought a lot about my 'love life.' They never really approved of her."
"What does that have to do with me?" Elsa mumbled. And why does everything seem to come back about this ex of his? God, could she really have been so awful?
She wished she could just stand up and run, but her legs felt shaky and weak.
"Oh don't worry, I'm not hitting on you," Hans stated with a mindless shrug.
Elsa stared. "What..."
Hans eyes twinkled knowingly. "That crossed your mind didn't it?"
"Um..." She didn't want to admit that it had, but it had.
Hans laughed at her speechlessness. "You said you were gay. There's nothing to worry about." His white teeth flashed when he grinned. "I'm harmless."
Elsa's heart skipped. Suddenly the crowd roared around them and she snapped her attention to the ice rink, grateful for the distraction. The announcer screamed into his microphone and she guessed that the opposing team had made the first goal of the match.
As people screamed around her, Elsa withdrew. Her heart raced like a bullet underneath her sternum and her skin prickled. Her mind whirled from Hans's comment. The only people who knew she was gay was her close circle of friends, Anna, and Anna's own friends by extension. To have her sexuality bored out in the open, by someone she considered more of an acquaintance, sent her nerves skyrocketing.
Elsa breathed into her collar as people stood up and shouted around her. She knew everyone's attention was on the arena. She knew everyone was egging on the players zipping back and forth. She knew that she barely stood out amongst this many people.
But it felt as if a thousand eyes were boring into her back.
"Elsa, what are you hiding from us?"
Her father's words rang in her head.
Elsa inhaled shakily and forced her attention back on her surroundings.
Hans cheered beside her and she noticed Max scribbling something on a notepad. When the noise died down, the oldest Westergard stood up and stretched a bit.
"If you kind folk will excuse me, I'm going to buy some snacks. Want anything Miss 'delle?"
Elsa shook her head. "I'm not hungry," she mumbled. Eating while she was utterly anxious and depressed out of her mind would just remind her of her middle school years.
Max shrugged. "Alright. Oscar, you want anything?"
Oscar shook his head, eyes trained on the hockey players zipping back and forth on the ice.
"Stiff," Max muttered under his breath. Then he suddenly grabbed Hans by the collar of his shirt, dragging him roughly out of his seat. "Okay little bro, you're coming with me!"
"What?! I didn't—hey, let me go!"
"No, you're paying for your own stuff since neither Oscar or the Miss wants anything. Also I need to teach you about—"
Their voices faded as they disappeared down the rows. Elsa watched Hans stumble as his brother pulled him away. Guilty, she felt relieved at being left alone.
Oscar shifted beside her, typing away at his phone with disinterest.
Well I doubt he's going to bother me.
The blonde sighed and reached into her bag to pull out her water bottle. She took a sip, quenching her parched throat. The hockey players on the rink drifted back over to their teammates and coaches. Elsa glanced over the Mountain Stars players, wondering which one was Anna's brother.
What does Kristoff even look like?
Anna was adopted so Elsa had no basis to go off of. She guessed he was tall, at least from how deep his voice sounded over the phone. Although, that wasn't a good indicator to go off either.
I would know what he looked like if I had gone to the airport with Anna.
Elsa curled in on herself as her guilt intensified. Their original plans had fallen by the wayside or been abruptly changed all because of her panic attack on their anniversary.
All because I overreacted over one stupid necklace.
She fisted her hands tightly, jaw hardening. Out of desperation to change things, Elsa started picking out the hockey players one by one, trying to read the numbers and names on their shirts. It was a vain attempt since Elsa could barely pick out individual letters from where she sat.
I'm being ridiculous.
Her shoulders drooped. Stressed and uncomfortable with the way things had turned out for her, Elsa kept glancing at her cell phone and the time on the scoreboard. The intermission was half over. She flicked her fingers over her cell phone screen.
"Belle, where are you?"
Relief flushed through her when her message was quickly answered.
"Caught up in traffic. I'm sorry Elsa, go on ahead without us."
Dread filled Elsa's chest.
"I'm already here. Anna's not here yet though..."
Her eyes watered as Belle replied.
"What do you mean she's not there yet? I thought you two were going to meet up with each other."
I did too.
Elsa sniffed and blinked back the tears. The game had already begun and Anna had yet to show. Elsa hadn't even received any messages from her girlfriend in the past twenty minutes. Pessimistic thoughts invaded her mind like spiders.
Maybe I got stood up.
"Here."
Elsa jumped as a tissue was pushed into her hands. She looked up to see Oscar right next to her, a concerned expression on his face.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.
Elsa dabbed at her eyes, shaking her head. "N-no, it's alright. I'm not surprised it happened anyway."
He frowned. "What happened?"
Elsa laughed shortly. "My friends are going to be late and I got stood up by my date."
"That sucks about your friends." Oscar glanced at his watch. "The match has barely started though. Maybe your date's just running late too? Have you tried calling?"
Elsa sniffed, curling in on herself. "She said she'd be here in ten minutes and that was twenty minutes ago." Her heart clenched painfully.
"Try again," Oscar said gently. "Maybe something came up."
Elsa sighed and nodded weakly. She sent Anna a short text.
"Waiting for you."
Elsa stared at her phone for the next several seconds, blue eyes staring at it as if that would prompt a quicker response. When nothing came, she sighed and slipped her phone into her purse.
"It's a busy night," Oscar said, shrugging. "The rain is terrible right now and the traffic isn't much better. And with the game going on, well, just give it a bit of time.
She flashed him a wobbly smile. "Thank you for your concern." Elsa inhaled shakily and fiddled with a button on her coat. "I'm just nervous," she admitted.
"No real reason to be," Oscar, focusing his attention back on the match.
Elsa cringed. She admonished herself for crying openly and hurriedly wiped away the last trace of tears on her face. Neither of her parents would have approved for showing such raw emotion at a public event. She sniffed and tried to distract herself.
"So you study architecture?"
Oscar's voice made her jump. She glanced at him to see him still staring at his phone, but his eyes flicked towards her.
"Um, yes." She settled her hands in her lap. "I like buildings," she mumbled.
His eyebrow quirked up. Elsa blushed slightly. She didn't feel comfortable admitting to him what she had admitted to Anna on their first date.
"There's strength in them," she clarified. He perked up and she continued with more confidence. "It takes creativity to build something. Have it come off the ground and reach the sky." Elsa's back straightened and she gestured around the stadium. "Make sure it's durable against the wind and sky—elements."
Above the crowd's idle chatter, she could hear the rain and wind rumbling.
Oscar nodded and though he didn't look any more interested in her subject of majors, there was an impressed glimmer in his hazel eyes. He looked down at the rink, pursing his lips.
"A young girl I used to speak quite amicably with talked the same way you did."
Elsa blinked. Some of her nervousness died and she tilted her head at him. "About architecture?"
He laughed for the first time. "Oh no," Oscar shot her a grin and she scowled, "about literature." This time it was Elsa's turn to quirk an eyebrow. "Stories," he said. "Fairytales. Drama. Theatre. I teach English, so we got along well enough."
A chill went down Elsa's spine.
Don't tell me—
Elsa shut down the thought before it could fully formulate in her mind. It would be a ridiculous conclusion to jump to. It was just her anxiety-driven mind making her think like that. It was an idea out of left field.
"Do you remember me from Mr. Simmons's class?"
Oscar finally stared at her head on. His eyebrows retreated to his hairline and the stiff look gave way to genuine surprise. "Should I...?"
Elsa picked at her gloves. "You came in to help Mr. Simmons one time. I was sitting in the back row and you...you were staring at the girl next to me. Why?"
God, the entire thing sounded ridiculous and awkward even in her own head.
Oscar blinked once, twice. "I'm sorry, what?" he blurted.
Despite her need to confirm her suspicions, Elsa tensed and coughed. "Er, perhaps it's none of my business, but—"
"Yes, it strictly isn't your business Miss Arendelle," he said, cutting her off with a sharp look. "I don't understand why you would care, but either way, it doesn't matter. It's confidential."
Elsa bristled, digging her nails into her slacks, anxiety momentarily replaced by anger.
That's my girlfriend you were looking at. God, if the rest of the Westergard family is this unpleasant, then I want nothing to do with them.
A pit of despair opened up inside Elsa and she suddenly wished Anna was with her.
Maybe I'm just overthinking it. But the way he looked at Anna and the girl he mentioned. They have the same interests. And—
"We're back!"
Elsa jumped as Max squeezed back into view. Hans followed behind him with a heavy scowl, but the older man just sat down by Oscar with a wide grin. His arms were laden with drinks and snacks.
"Welcome back," Oscar muttered. "Intermission is almost over."
Elsa glanced sharply at the board and noted in dismay that it was. The first period of the game had gone by and she still hadn't heard from Anna.
Hans settled down next to her, but instead of engaging her in conversation like she anticipated, he remained fixated on the arena. Elsa's eyes darted over his tight jaw, creased brow, and curled fists.
Her stomach sank. She didn't know which was worse.
As the players skated right back onto the ice and the referee whistled, with the announcer's voice starting up again, Elsa grew more and more anxious. She sent a few more texts to Anna, asking:
"Where are you?"
"Are you alright?"
"Please call me."
A part of her said it was only justified irony that she'd be left waiting with no knowledge of Anna's status. After all, hadn't she done the same thing to her girlfriend on their anniversary?
The other part of her wanted to wallow in her hurt.
The people around her cheered and screamed. She was dimly aware of Hans beginning to chat amicably to her again as the hockey players went toe to toe.
"Hey, I think that guy's going to feel that bump tomorrow Elsa—"
A flicker of red caught her eye.
Elsa stiffened, head snapping up and eyes honing in on the entrance of the opposite side. Between the array of dark blue, crimson, white, black, and gold, there was the occasional flash of strawberry-blonde. It disappeared for a moment and her phone buzzed in her pocket, but Elsa didn't have to check it to know.
She's here!
For once, she shoved away all manners of decorum. Elsa shot off from her seat like a rocket. She heard Hans shout in surprise as she pushed through the crowd.
"Elsa, where are you going?!"
"She got bored of your sideburns Hans!" Max howled with laughter. "And Oscar's stiff back scared her. Just let the poor gal go!"
"But—"
Their voices were drowned by the roar of the crowd around her and the rapid beating of her heart. Elsa panted as she shoved past people, trying to look over heads and hands for Anna. Her pulse raced and she nearly slipped as she rounded the corner.
"Anna—!"
Anna stood on her toes behind two familiar brunettes, looking around worriedly.
Adam and Belle!
They had probably met up with Anna outside.
Elsa halted and her eyes watered. For a brief moment, she was hyper aware of everything. The chill in the air. The people screaming loudly in her ears. The gloves on her hands and the painful drumming of her heartbeat.
When Anna turned in her direction, Elsa rushed forward.
Blue-green eyes widened in shock and elation.
"Elsa!" Anna breathed, face flushing. She moved to meet her, a grin splitting her features. "There you are! I'm so, so sorry I took so long Elsa! I had to—!"
Elsa didn't let her finish. She grabbed Anna by the collar of her letterman jacket and pulled her into a rough, sloppy kiss. The redhead yelped and her hands froze in the air. Elsa pushed her mouth harder against Anna's and after a tense moment of nothing, Anna gripped Elsa's shoulders with trembling fingers. The physical presence of Anna's hands on her sent a wave of warmth and euphoria through Elsa. The crowd's roar fell away and the downpour of rain turned into a soft hush. The chill left her bones and the turbulent feelings that had been plaguing her all night quieted into a distant echo. Elsa whined into Anna's warm mouth and slid her fingers up into soft, damp hair, cupping the sides of her girlfriend's face.
She didn't let go for several moments, instead pulling Anna closer to her and deepening their kiss. Anna moaned and a pleasant shiver ran up and down Elsa's spine. She rubbed her thumbs along freckled skin, delighting in the warmth she felt even underneath her gloves. Anna tilted her head back and Elsa followed, not ready to let her go just yet.
Anna's breath hitched and Elsa's toes curled in her boots when something accidentally brushed against her bottom lip. She parted her lips slightly and gently swiped her tongue against Anna's mouth.
"Elsa," Anna gasped.
Elsa moaned and the chill of the stadium and rotten weather receded, replaced by a gentle bliss.
When the need for oxygen proved too great, Elsa pulled back and panted against Anna's mouth. Anna's eyes fluttered open and Elsa swallowed at their darkened hue. Her face was flushed and her eyelashes damp, lips parted and swollen.
"Wow," she whispered, and her eyes went wide.
A shiver ran down Elsa's spine at the breathlessness in Anna's voice. She swallowed thickly and peppered the thin lips before her with short, desperate kisses. "I missed you. I missed you so much Anna," she whimpered.
Anna laughed wetly, reaching up to grasp the blonde's hands holding her face. She returned Elsa's kisses as best as she could, chest heaving from exertion. "That makes two of us." She smiled shyly at Elsa. "I really am sorry I took so long Elsa. I had to rush back to my dorm to pick something up for you."
Elsa pulled back a bit, frowning. "For me?"
Anna grinned and nodded excitedly. "I never got to give you your present for our anniversary."
Elsa bit her lip and looked down, shame replacing the wonderful blush on her cheeks. "Anna, about that—"
She was disrupted when Belle suddenly popped into her field of vision. Elsa jumped, embarrassment coloring her cheeks this time.
"I think you two should go somewhere private," Belle whispered. She gestured with a finger and the both of them looked around.
The people closest to them had noticed. Some coughed and looked away, others stared openly, and Elsa noticed a few girls had blushed to their ears. Her heart dropped and sped away.
Oh god!
Anna grabbed her hand and practically yanked her the way she had come from. "Let's go over here," she hissed. The back of her neck was bright red and Elsa hurriedly picked up her pace to keep up with her.
"Anna, I'm sorry," Elsa mumbled, mortified at the attention she had drawn towards them.
Anna looked over her shoulder, a grin curling sheepishly on her face. "Oh love, don't worry—"
Just as they were ducking into the hallway that led into the stadium, just as Anna had spoken, just as Elsa felt something bright and overwhelming flow through her at the word love, she halted in her tracks.
Elsa nearly bumped into her. She stopped just inches away and frowned. "Anna?"
But Anna wasn't looking at her. She was staring past Elsa's shoulder. Her hand had gone slack in Elsa's grip. The blush was gone from her cheeks and Elsa finally noticed just how pale she looked. Her strawberry hair was matted to her forehead and cheeks. Anna's freckles stood out garishly under the fluorescent lights. Her jacket hung on her figure and Elsa could feel her fingers start to tremble. But all of that wasn't what worried her.
Anna's eyes were blank.
Elsa stepped closer, worry gnawing her insides. She brushed the back of her hand against Anna's cheek, frown deepening. "Anna, what's wrong?"
Anna jerked and snapped her gaze back to her, recognition dawning on her features. She shivered visibly and gripped Elsa's hand with her other one.
"O-oh, it's nothing. Sorry, I just thought I—"
Elsa saw fear flash in those beloved blue-green eyes. She squeezed Anna's hand, cupping her cheek. Anna stammered and her mouth shut. Elsa watched her swallow, blue eyes taking in every miniscule twitch and shiver on her features.
"What's wrong?" she whispered quietly. When she still didn't receive an answer, Elsa looked over her shoulder. Her eyes darted over what she could see of the arena, people's faces indistinct from where they were.
I wonder if—
A tug on her hand broke her concentration. Elsa turned around to see Anna shaking her head.
"It's not important right now Elsa," Anna said, glancing down the hallway. Before Elsa could press, Anna looked up at her with wide eyes. "You said you wanted to talk right Elsa? Can we talk now? Please?"
The fragility in her voice made Elsa wince. The blonde bit her lip and nodded.
"Okay."
Anna sighed in obvious relief and pulled her down the hallway. She gripped Elsa's hand tighter and glanced at her with a small smile. "Your anniversary gift is in my backpack."
Elsa stiffened. The tides of anxiety swept over her again as the crowd's chatter died away behind them. The closer they got to some place more secluded, the more and more heavy her gut felt. The prospect of explaining her mental illness to Anna was suddenly very real and very soon. She clutched Anna's hand tightly and stuttered, "Y-you'll promise me you'll still want to give it to me when I'm done?"
Anna paused. She searched Elsa's face and for once, Elsa let her fear show.
She trembled from head to toe.
Anna blinked slowly, frowned, and reached up to cup Elsa's cheek. Her thumb brushed a high cheekbone and Elsa leaned into it.
"Of course."
The soft, worried smile on Anna's face helped Elsa believe just a little.