Outdoor Enjoyment

Valentine was ready to leave the manor now, before that something quite weird occurred, but truly bizarre this time. She was investigating one more room when she ended up discovering different costumes on hooks; she advanced while glancing at them all. Some were for men others for women, if you gave a damn to dress according to your gender that is, or how a shitty society tells you to dress. There was one in a corny cowgirl-style which almost made her puke on it, that would actually have improved its design. Another was all white and came with a ridiculous golden necklace plus equally appalling high-heels, as Jill looked at it she frowned, «…..so, either they ran out of fabric while creating this attire or the lack of tissue is intentional; either way I'm never wearing this even if my life depended on it.», a tag was on the white dress with the initials E.G. on it.

Then a series of different red clothing were aligned, all bearing a tag saying 'For Spies ONLY', Valentine still didn't get the joke. The next one was a huge mascot thing that looked like a Chipmunk with a t-shirt on; the tag read 'Agent 47', another reference that flew over her head. There was a nice army outfit that came along with a gray bandana; the tag read 'Cobra Unit's Big Boss' but also had a line scribbled in it, ''For better rock-paper-scissors game.'' There was also a pink skin-tight one-piece which definitely made her vomit this time; impossible to improve that look though. Then there was something she figured people she knew could wear, like the chicken outfit that seemed to have been made for Brad or Rebecca.

Well there was a bunch of other costumes all linked to characters from many other games but she got incredibly bored and just left the room sighing, not like she ever liked to shop anyway. Sure her outfit was soaked with many bodily fluids and rotted flesh but still it was her favorite clothes so she kept it.

Our beret-wearing, assault-shotgun-pumping enthusiast and Molotov-cocktail-maniac woman faced that heavy locked door outside. Noticing the cherubs she had been tempted to just shoot them all to dust but decided to keep her ammo for more urgent situations. She did not possess the required item to activate the dumb contraption but no worry, that's where the shells come in handy. Well shells fired by a shotgun that is, as for cartridges alone aren't of much help… One loud shot after another, with tiny eyes and a fierce look on her face plus coughing on particles as bits flew around; the mechanism finally surrendered. She stood there admiring her handy work then reloaded her weapon Sarah-Connor-style from 1991's T2: Judgment Day. This door has just been judged, «That's how pros do it. », and pushed the door open with one fast hit of her forehead.

Generating an echoing voice in her skull advising against such an immature and overconfident exploit from now on.

Pushing the heavy door open with her hand, it gave into a shed of sort with tools lying around, except Bard wasn't there. Opening the normal door at her right lead her to the real outside this time. There stood a very friendly forest with naked dark branches, thin strands of ominous fog floating near the ground, an eerie Moon in the sky, dogs howling in the distance, and soon hunted signs with evil roasters twisting wickedly. It also triggered her radio, «Pig's dung, how does this thing work? I can't get any decent music channels with this but static, that's hardly motivating. », someone fidgeted with the frequency some more, «….yeah I know buddy, you like jazz but we'll apparently have to settle for retarded zombie moans. », then it got silent again. Jill added that little episode to her list concerning Barry.

Making her way down the wet and muddy path, she came to a fence. It was crooked and didn't seem solid so she kicked it open; that took care of it but also frightened the evil raven that had been resting on the other side. They took off from the tombstones to attack her; Valentine just ran straight to the other door and rammed the gates closed behind her. Inexplicably, none of the crows could fly over it, figures; she couldn't have made her way through the tall grass and around the first gate earlier, as if some ghastly weird force prevented it.

A tortuous moan was heard coming from farther into the forest. She processed trees couldn't produce such a reverberation no matter how menacing they looked. Our friendless Alpha ascended the little hills, each path leading her deeper into the woods. She also came to realize some deranged maniac had decorated the wooden fences that stood mid-waist on each side; many tiny animals' heads had been rammed down through the pointy ends. Some were from crows, squirrels, rats, leprechauns; although no raccoons were ever seen, which was really odd. «…Nice…» But so far no dogs attacked her; she figured that in their madness, even they weren't crazy enough to come near this area. But who liked security and peace of mind anyway? The scenery was to her liking and the fresh air more than welcoming; because she likes to decimate and is more than acclimatized to violence but what kind of sick fuck would like the smell of rotting flesh mixed with vomit and feces? That's just messed up.

The woman with the nose of steel soon arrived at a decrepit wooden house of sort. The inside was littered with valueless objects such as empty cardboard boxes you couldn't use to do stealth operations, pumpkins with Minecraft torches in them, a dismantled toaster, cobwebs and, surprise; a strange smell. The lit fireplace indicated that the house was still being used, so as a joke she wondered if a 'sophisticated', less dirty zombie lived here. While investigating the area she imagined walking upon a decomposed man wearing a black tux and top hat, smoking a cigar plus offering her to snack on a semi-fresh forearm he had found.

The different portions of the place didn't offer much in terms of something she could use unless she wanted to assault monsters with a crank, or a soiled mattress. «Waste of time again. », she was about to exit the filthy bedroom when the front door squeaked open. A glance at her right permitted to see that something unusual was coming her way. Well something even more abnormal than all the previous times. She felt she would need the shotgun for that one, crossing the doorframe leading into the 'living room' she suddenly got mercilessly tickled.

Or so she should have been if anyone on this Earth could gain such a reaction from a hard woman like Valentine. Instead she just stared wide eyed at what stood at her left, «That is a very well-made Halloween mask-» and she got hit over the head. During that blackout she dreamed of how she roasted a certain reptile and ate its delectable flesh. Regaining consciousness, she realized that thing had laid her on the floor near the fire and was now wearing an apron; leaving little doubt as to the scenario that would follow.

Still her beret had not fallen off meaning she was fine, she quickly got up not ready to be sliced and turned into a sandwich. A blue sandwich that would taste like guts and gunpowder. The horribly deformed thing looked at her with its blank eye, the one visible through the putrefying face it was wearing over what was left of its real visage. The thing emitted a short but vivid scream which sent saliva flying everywhere and judging by the sound of it, Jill was facing a human that had been a woman once. No doubt the creature had been horribly tortured or went through hell seeing her bruised skin, the shackles around her wrists and chains at her ankles; not to mention her whole appearance, but now wasn't the right time to scrutinize this intricate character.

The Alpha tried to run passed the female but she was faster, and quite stronger, than her thin limbs lead to believe. The blow hit Valentine in the face with brutal force making her almost fall backward, staggered for two seconds and blinked multiple times to clear the blur. Jill lifted the shotgun and fired once, two, three, four times at close range before her attacker fell. While reloading she stared at the transformed monster resting at her feet, it seemed to be going through some healing process; small appendages like tentacles protruding from her head with a sick wet sound and more saliva. If it was really regenerating then there was no use standing there and waste all her ammunition.

The soldier was nearing the door when she heard the creature getting up, the chains rattling behind her. Jill turned around, wanting to know how fast the enemy was in order to plan ahead accordingly especially if they crossed path again. The long bruised legs traversed the doorframe slowly, the Alpha had the information she wanted and left. That woman was slow on her feet but her long limbs made up for reach where she seemed to lack in speed; and her strength was far superior. No matter what that woman went through, whatever she was now; Valentine knew she had met more than her match.

Know when you are beaten; it is not a sign of weakness but intelligence and does not necessarily equal being powerless: then devise around such an obstacle.

++++++++++++R.E.++++++++++++++

Chris felt like nearing hypothermia, and he might have been certain that it was not a good thing. That's when it hit him that he should have sliced his throat with his knife instead of using his t-shirt. That also should have dawned upon him way earlier when the malevolent torturer was taking his vest away. He always was such a loser at thinking, now his sole weapon was gone and he was stuck here for who knows how long. His teeth clattered together, «…m-mean…ny Capta….f-f-f-fuck, cold…» He was certain that if his breath could produce vapor, it would depict sad faces.

Now we all know Rebecca had it easy.

++++++++++++R.E.++++++++++++++

Not pursued by her horrible new friend, Jill went back to that shed linked to the mansion and used the remaining door, finding herself outside again. As she stepped forward she saw that three Dobermans were roaming ahead, that's when her radio shrieked; the canines waited patiently for it to finish before attacking her.

«This is Bread! Listen, I'm sorry, I abandoned you guys to certain death in Hell itself. In the meantime I went over some place to have diner. I know it was not okay to do that; I shouldn't have….that food joint serves horrendous meal. Look at least I came back, I'm still drenched in piss though, should have thought to change pants then. Seriously, you don't know the torture of it all, having to sit through this cold bodily fluid; surely it has to be far worse than what you guys are enduring in that grisly manor. You can't possibly grasp the depth of my agonizing soul right now. If you people weren't so damn selfish and hurried it up, we could go home and I'd be able to change underwear. It really is getting horribly itchy, have some goddamn heart! What did I ever do to you-», sobs were heard before the communication was lost again.

Valentine pressed the button but only heard static, «Shit, it's giving me the mute treatment again. »

Immediately afterwards she got her face chewed off by one of the dogs as it leapt off it; she stumbled backward but turned that into a roll before quickly grabbing a plant nearby before shoving it inside her mouth. Now standing up ready, chewing on "medicinal" leaves, a second canine charged her way and as it leaped she executed a spin kick, the powerful motion exploding its head. She was grabbing her shotgun when the third Cerberus jumped but the detonation sent bits flying everywhere. A growling to her right made her reposition before firing again thus obliterating the first MA-39 that had attacked her. She pumped more shells in the barrel, «To think I wanted to get myself a nice Doberman...», she cocked the gun, «I'll actually buy two seeing they're so awesome. »

She stepped in the blood as she walked past, admiring the vines and starry sky. Crossing the double gate, she faced some sort of barrage. Jill wondered how people usually cross to the other side when she noticed a control panel at her left, with a squared hole in its middle, probably to insert a crank. She sneered, that was the obvious solution but there was always more than one approach to every problem. Valentine jumped into the water; hopefully it'll suffice to remove the stench from her clothes too, even just a little.

Our drenched survivor went down a small elevator and got reunited with her dark feathered friends, the evil raven; the one facing her was staring intently with its comic eyes. Hey she's got nothing against birds, she always found their plumage beautiful, with their reflecting dark blue-purple hues and could appreciate their peculiar chant in most cases… just not when they're savagely attacking in packs, trying to pluck her eyes out and claw her skin open, all while defecating on her.

She started walking slowly past the first one, under every attentive eye tracking her movements and two vocalized their interest. Well one of them must not have liked the color of her beret or something and flew off, immediately followed by the others, so she duck-rolled and dashed across the paved ground past the nice waterfall then through the double gates. Now a pathway covered with similar stones zigzagged under some nicely furnished trees; so much small poisonous snakes dropped off them and tried to attack her.

Decidedly this complex and its surrounding was a very welcoming place, perfect for vacation.