Houston
"Hey Earthlings! We're back, and this is Mark Watney, mission specialist aboard Hermes, and as you can see," he paused, as the camera panned to a window on the right-hand side, "the crew is here on the flight deck, awaiting our departure for Mars," he paused, looking like a kid on Christmas morning, "in just a little while, here."
Mindy wouldn't normally have tuned in to see the traditional televised send-off tour of Hermes, but what the heck, it was Friday night, and she didn't have anything better to do. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that she actually kind of knows that guy, now. It was just interesting to watch, that's all, she thought.
"That's producing the centripetal gravity that's letting us actually walk around, here on the ship," Mark continued, as the camera angle changed to show the ship rotating, "instead of us all floating around in freefall like we were, a little while ago, before Martinez and Johanssen over there started it up."
He was good at his job, she thought, making the information accessible without sounding like he was talking down to the unwashed masses back here on Earth. While she wouldn't have said that he was a natural in front of the camera, really, he did have a charming, self-deprecating, good-natured personality, and she could see why Montrose had singled him out to be the crew's spokesman.
"Hey, Vogel," he said, and the camera wobbled as Mark reached for it. "Alex Vogel, here, is our cameraman tonight, say hello, Vogel," he directed the camera to show an embarrassed Vogel attempting to wave the camera away.
"Hallo, Vogel," he said, finally, laughing, as Mark flipped the camera around to show his stone-faced reaction. He couldn't hold it, though, and he broke into a smirk as he re-focused on Vogel.
"Anyone back on Earth that you'd like to say Auf Wiedersehen to?" Mark completely butchered the German words for 'goodbye', as Vogel made a grimace and shook his head, laughing. "Hey, they didn't hire me for my language skills." he smiled.
"I would like to say," he paused to give Mark a meaningful look, one eyebrow raised, "Auf Wiedersehen," he spoke the words crisply and distinctly, with superior diction, giving Mark an arch look, "to my lovely wife Helena, and our two children. Also I would like," he paused, taking a moment to parse the words correctly, "to give my shout-out, to the children at Grundschule am Baumschulenweg, this is primary school where my wife is the teacher."
"Wow, that's a mouthful," Mark said, as he handed the camera back to Vogel, "You heard it here, Earth. Shout-outs to the kids at the Grund…" he paused and tried again, "Grund, uh, wherever it was that he just said." He grinned, and shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, I tried!" he said.
"Ja," Vogel replied, "Good with the try, Watney," he patted Mark on the head, "Please do not ever try again."
The crew chuckled. Mindy was shaking her head, smiling at Mark's antics, as he pretended to be insulted, crossing his arms and scowling back at Vogel. He broke back into an irrepressible grin and continued.
"Vogel here, as you might have already guessed, is flying with us today, courtesy of the ESA. He's also a moderately talented chemist," he said, faux-grudgingly, "I guess."
Another crew member, maybe it was the pilot, Mindy thought, chucked Watney on the side of the head.
"Vogel, would you care to show us around the chem-lab?" Mark asked, in an ultra-polite, unctuous voice. "If you please?"
"Ja," Vogel replied, "Since you ask nice."
The camera followed Watney down a rounded corridor to a small alcove room.
"Okay, here we are. Now, tell the good people back home what it is that you'll be working on, in here, exactly." Watney grinned knowingly at the camera.
"Quantify chemical analysis." Vogel replied.
"And now, in English," Watney prompted.
"That is English," Vogel groaned. "Is set-up for titration."
"Titration." Watney repeated, sing-song, with a big shit-eating grin on his face.
Mindy was giggling, as Mark waggled his eyebrows and mugged at the cameras, nodding, as though he'd said a dirty word.
"Vogel here likes to do titration," he continued, "and since everyone at home is totally familiar with that, I mean, come on, seriously, man, what the heck is titration?"
"Is method to quantify chemical analysis!" Vogel replied, by way of explanation.
"Alrighty then, moving along," he mugged at the camera again as they continued down the hallway, "this is the botany lab, where the actual scientific research will be taking place-"
"Get over yourself, Watney," a background voice interrupted. It was the pilot again, Mindy recognized his voice for sure this time.
"Martinez, of course, does not recognize actual scientific research when he sees it, because he is," Watney raised one eyebrow, "just a pilot. Some second-rate hack that the Air Force is probably glad to be rid of-"
"Uh, that's Major Martinez?" Martinez came on screen then, "Have some respect, bro, huh?" He smirked, and shrugged, as if to say, can you believe this guy?
"Yes. Of course," Mark agreed, easily, "Major. Yes, yes you are. A major something, but I don't think NASA would be very happy with me if I finished that observation-"
"Do you know what would happen to someone with a smart mouth like yours, in the Air Force?" Martinez challenged.
"Well, I suppose if I were anything like you, they'd probably launch me away from the Earth as fast as they could and hope that I didn't show my face back there again for at least a year," Watney continued, straight-faced, as Martinez rolled his eyes.
"Uh-huh. Okay, well, Mission Specialist Watney, some of us have actual work to do here, like piloting the ship, so I'm going to head back to the flight deck, where as you know, I am the one in charge of, you know, doing all that."
"Okay," Watney replied, waving good-bye to Martinez. "Go knock yourself out. Piloting the ship that steers itself."
"It's been a slice, man," Martinez called back. "Beck, I think Watney here needs a full neuro eval, as soon as you get a chance."
Beck was, Mindy had to admit, an absolute eyeful, as he came on screen alongside Watney. With his chiseled features and ice-blue, hooded eyes, he would not have been at all out of place in a full-page ad campaign for Armani. It was simply unreasonable that a guy that ridiculously hot could also be accomplished enough to be selected for the Ares Program.
"Is he even human?" Mindy asked her empty apartment. "Where did they find that guy?" she wondered, aloud.
"Ladies and gentlemen, and especially the ladies," Watney grinned, "this is our EVA specialist, Dr. Chris Beck."
Beck might have been the better-looking of the two, but Mindy could tell that he was far less comfortable in front of the camera than Watney, and when he spoke, it was with the mannerisms of someone who truly just wanted to be left alone. She supposed that he must be very shy, and he was trying to force himself not to appear so.
"Hi," he gave a brief wave to the camera and managed a tight smile, "I'm the ship flight surgeon, and also I'm the lead mission specialist for spacewalks, when we need to do those."
"Anyone back home that you'd like to say goodbye to?" Watney asked.
"Just my sister," he said. "Amy, in Connecticut."
"Just his sister," Watney repeated, waggling his eyebrows. "Did you hear that, ladies? Just his sister!"
Beck looked annoyed. Good-naturedly, he waved Watney back in the other direction.
They had a good team dynamic, Mindy thought, watching as Watney headed back the way he came, towards the flight deck. It was obvious that they all thought highly of one another, but it was the natural cohesiveness of the group that she found particularly impressive. Watney had mentioned, of course, that they had lived and trained together for over a year, as was typical for an Ares team.
Thinking back, though, Mindy couldn't recall the names of more than one or two crew members from both of the previous two missions. This group seemed far more memorable.
"Now that you've met all the men of the crew," Watney was saying, "I'd like to introduce Johanssen, who is, of course, our resident celebrity. Familiar to dorm walls everywhere!"
Johanssen was a dark-haired beauty, Mindy thought, as she watched her shyly introduce herself and explain her position as reactor technician. She was a tiny little thing, too. When she stood up, pushing away from the console where she'd been sitting, she barely came up to Watney's neck.
Watney's arm had settled around Johanssen's shoulder, in a show of easy camaraderie, as they talked about reactors, and the ever-accelerating engines that would propel Hermes to Mars. Mindy leaned forward, interested to see, not that it was any of her business, of course, whether there might be more to that particular story. Were they actually…?
No. No, she didn't think so. He seemed to regard her more as a little sister, Mindy thought. He did seem awfully fond of her, though, as he teased her about her interests, which he apparently considered especially nerdy.
Like he should be talking, she thought.
The crew was making their final preparations, as the last few minutes ticked down before Hermes was due to leave Earth's orbit. Commander Melissa Lewis was introduced, last, and Mindy was interested to see that Watney's goofball demeanor had quickly fallen away, as he respectfully listed a few of Lewis's accomplishments, prior to being named the Commander of the Ares III mission.
Mindy's eyes widened. Holy shit.
First in her class at the Naval Academy and a Rhodes Scholar? Youngest-ever female commander of a submarine? Former Commander-in-Chief of the entire U.S. Pacific Command?
No overachievers on that crew, she thought. Good lord.
Lewis looked to be only in her forties, Mindy thought, amazed. No wonder she'd been selected. Where on Earth can you even go after that sort of a career, with a résumé like that? On to Mars, naturally.
Mindy had been eyeing a better job at NASA herself lately. A lateral transfer, it would be, but it had, she thought, a lot more potential than her current position. For one thing, nights and weekend hours tended to pay more, whereas she currently worked what people still jokingly called "banker's hours." The position with SatCon would be four ten-hour days each week, so she'd even get an extra day off, while earning more, overall.
Potentially. She still had to get herself selected for the job.
Watney was signing off, now, as Hermes fired up the engines and began to break free of Earth's orbit. She watched as he and the crew said their final goodbyes, until it was just Mark on screen, waving.
Mindy waved back, without even thinking of how silly she was being.
"Be safe," she whispered, to the empty air. "See you in a year."
"See you in a year!" Mark agreed, easily, on-screen; he seemed to be speaking just to her, though Mindy knew that he wasn't. Not really.
The shot changed to an exterior one outside Hermes, showing the curved blue edge of Earth, as the sun disappeared behind it.
She sat there for a long time, watching the credits roll.