Chapter Five: Making A Home

A/N: This note is only here to say that this might be the final chapter and to explain that there could be a sequel or two. It depends on how I feel. So if you would like to leave a review please do so, however I cannot write on command. I have this thing where my brain shuts down if I am ordered to do something and I am far more likely to make a snarky comment than do as I'm told.

It took a few days to reach a town once they had gotten to the trail. Aya was still injured, but now refused to be cared for and was strong enough to resist Youji's less than honorable intentions. While everyone else stocked up he disappeared into the telegraph office.

To Youji it seemed as though his intent was to leave them as soon as he could, but that night he came into the camp and after talking to Burt made a beeline for Youji's side. When he sat down next to the doctor it was obvious most were surprised. The blonde was a bit shocked, but he was happy too. He liked the silent companionship Aya offered. The man was younger, but closer to his age than either Omi or Ken and besides that those two spent more time away from him now. He was feeling a bit lonely. Maybe that's why his feelings for Aya were so intense at first. Now was a bit different.

Youji liked him even more and it wasn't based on looks any longer. He thought the smaller man was really attractive, but his feelings weren't solely based on that fact. The blonde liked his quiet intensity and the almost affectionate attitude he had towards the children, who would dare each other to approach him. Kind of like the Apache; only not as deadly. He truly liked the redhead.

Ken and Omi weren't as sure that the mercenary was a good guy. Omi was slowly coming around, but Ken was still uneasy. He told Youji that just because he liked the man; it didn't erase his suspicions. He still wasn't sure when the wagon train reached California and the people's claims. Aya was too quiet about his past.

Youji ignored him, though. It wasn't the gunslinger's heart on the line here. It was his and everything about Aya made him fall harder and harder. They spent a lot of time together while on the trail and the redhead helped build his home in a little corner of his property. It wasn't much; just a couple bedrooms, a kitchen, dining area and living room, but there was water close by.

Aya kept saying he'd leave once it was built. A day that was fast approaching, but Youji saw no sign of him being itchy to leave. In fact he seemed to be talking himself into staying, First he had to help build, next the ranchers gave them a bit of trouble. The house was done and Youji's practice had been built. They were getting settled in. Youji went to Aya's fire that night. Even though the Apache were gone the Mercenary still insisted on camping alone. He seemed to be deep in thought when Youji approached so the blonde assumed his sneaking had increased. Then without turning around Aya spoke.

"That's a good way to get yourself killed you know? Approaching an armed man from behind." He turned slightly to look at Youji.

"And here was silly me thinking you were so deep in thought that I wouldn't be noticed." He laughed.

"Not so deep that I couldn't hear the elephant in the woods behind me." He smiled softly.

"That hurts." Youji rubbed his chest with a laugh and took a seat next to the mercenary. It was almost always like this. Aya would tease and Youji would feign offense while secretly falling for the other man even more. "I still don't know why you're so far out here." The blonde said quietly.

"I do not feel welcome around the others and that is fine. To them I am a dangerous entity and they are correct. It is safer if I camp out here." Aya shrugged.

"Aren't you lonely?"

"Constantly, but I was the one who chose to not form attachments to the people or places in this country. I did not choose to leave Japan as you did and until I met you I thought I was doomed to suffer an existence here without real companionship." He glanced over at the blonde who was struggling to not throw his arms around the other man. He had learned that peaceful human contact was not something the other man seemed to have a lot of experience with. Even if he did; he was now much more reserved and stiff.

"So lonely, but you don't do anything about it?" Youji frowned.

"Call it complacency." Aya shrugged again. "I know I could try. Part of me wants to. I just don't."

"Why not?" He was quiet so long that Youji thought it was probably another question he didn't want to answer. There were a lot of those. His reply was quiet and the blonde had to strain to understand his words. It was hard to even hear them.

"I suppose I view it as a sort of punishment." The mercenary's eyes were distant and in their violet depths was a lot of pain. Too much for one person to handle alone. Youji lost the battle and threw his arms around the smaller man.

Aya was a bit surprised when the other man's arms went around him. It wasn't the fact that the doctor was hugging him. He tended to be pretty affectionate. It was more the fact that it was so sudden. Instantly he dropped the stick he had been poking the fire with and grabbed the blonde's arms so they didn't fall over. Kudou...well Youji probably had no idea their position was so precarious. Or he did, because in the next moment he had Aya on his back on the grass and was straddling the smaller man's thin waist. The blonde's mouth was on his, hot and insistent.

The mercenary felt his mouth open and his arms slip around the taller man's neck. He was a bit surprised at his own response and marked it up to being so lonely. On the other hand; he genuinely liked Youji and he really didn't want to leave the valley the man had settled in.

A tongue invaded his mouth and he could feel an arousal pressing into him. It only reinforced his own. He could feel the heat pooling in his gut and supposed Youji could feel the hardness against his stomach. The thought didn't embarrass him and it didn't negatively effect the man above him. In fact Youji's kiss became a bit more intense and the older man moaned. Aya didn't care about noise now. His camp was pretty secluded and it was late. No one was about and if some native saw he didn't care. It was only self-preservation that had stopped him before. Two men together was a part of his culture, but Americans disapproved. It wasn't just disapproval though. There was a fear that went with it. A fear that could lead people to violence.

Youji kept kissing him while his hands fumbled with the buttons of Aya's shirt. The mercenary felt his hands shake a bit as he reached up to help. To him it was evidence that his control was slipping. He was normally pretty calm. Within seconds he had helped the older man to remove all their clothes and move to his blanket. Once there the taller man knelt between his legs and began kissing Aya deeply, his hands roaming all over the pale skin.

Aya moaned into the other man's mouth as one large hand massaged his erection. He tightened his arms, which were around Youji's neck then broke from the kiss with a gasp. The sensations running through him were all going down to his groin. His head fell back and Youji's mouth attached to his exposed throat. The redhead groaned a bit and clutched at the older man as his teeth closed on the portion of his neck where it met the shoulder. It was a bit sensitive to him and Youji's teeth sent a thrill down his spine. He wanted more. The other man obliged him while adding more energetic hand movements.

The smaller man heard a deep groan of pleasure escape as Youji bit down harder. Aya appreciated him not being so gentle. Normally the blonde was a different kind of person. More sweet and never wanting to hurt anyone. Aya liked it a bit rough. Pain seemed to heighten the pleasure for him. Not a lot of pain. This wasn't about punishment after all. It was about feeling that oneness with the person you cared for. It wasn't love just yet. It was too soon to tell, but he knew he was well on the way. Aya already cared about Youji more in the few months he'd known him than he had ever cared about another person in his life. He knew he wanted more of what Youji could offer.

He carefully reversed their positions and kissed down the taller man's throat and chest. Experience told him that things had progressed to a point where only two things could happen. Lubrication was needed for both and he had no oils. All he had was saliva. So he put his mouth over Youji's erection, almost laughing when the other man whimpered and fell back against the blanket. Aya wondered idly if it had been as long for the other man as it had for him. The other man moaned and writhed beneath him as he sucked.

Finally he let go then got up and straddled the larger man's waist. He positioned Youji's erection and bit back a cry as it entered him. The pain and pleasure were equal. He heard the other man groan then his hips came up and Aya lost the battle. He gave a soft cry and clutched the blonde's shoulders. Youji reversed their positions again and began to thrust into him. It wasn't long before they were both crying out in release. Youji collapsed next to him after pulling out. For a while they just laid there panting then the other man got up on one elbow and turned to him.

"I love you." He said quietly. Aya turned to him and caressed his cheek. The admission wasn't really a surprise to the mercenary.

"I am sorry that I can not say the same." He said quietly and grabbed the other man's arm before he could stalk off in anger. "What I feel is close. It's just not there yet." Youji calmed. "I know that I care far more than I have ever cared about anyone. Whether that is love or not I don't know. It is not an emotion I am familiar with. I do know that I don't want to leave here." He looked into Youji's green eyes, which were now calm. "If that is not enough for you-" The older man kissed him.

"It's enough."