Another short snippet from me to you, from my heart to yours. This was supposed to be about me...but it sounded so much like Miss Helga G. Pataki...I couldn't help but post it...and add some things. Enjoy!
Unrequited love isn't fun.
I mean...its just cruel to love someone and they're completely oblivious. Okay, so its slightly my fault. I mean...I do treat him sorta bad. But I mean...what would he ever like about me?
I'm not pretty...not as pretty as those other girls, at least. I'm not as...charming per se. To tell you the truth I tend to rub people the wrong way. Plus, sometimes I think I'm too weird for my own good. (A/N: Not that being weird is a bad thing. WEIRD PEOPLE ROCK!)
I mean, seriously! What kid at my age would be...you know...in love!
I wish...I wish I weren't so afraid of rejection. I wish I had the guts to tell him my true feelings...you know...and not take it back. I have the guts to do a lot of thing:
Dressing as Cecile just to go out with Arnold,
Disguising myself as Deep Voice just to help him save the neighborhood,
Pretended to be blind and have amnesia,
Snuck into his house (on numerous occasions),
Dressed and acted like Lila to get him to like her.
The only thing I don't have the guts to do is tell Arnold the truth.
And after how badly I treat him...he's still forgives me! It's so IMPOSSIBLE!; his patience with me is unbelievable.
Besides, I bet all he sees me as is just a bully...or a slight friend...at times...never as more.
It's not his fault that he doesn't see what he does to me. Though I have to admit: the butterflies in my stomach, the clammy hands, the fantasies and the monologues, and the double personalities he causes...it CAN'T be healthy!
I've started slacking off...my...bullying...I mean. I've let him off the hook many-a-time now, I don't mean to, I mean...I don't want him thinking that I've gone all soft on him. But sometimes I just can't be mean to him. I guess my love for him just gets in the way of the mask I am forced to wear...one I've worn too long...one that has now become part of me.
He's my hope for the future...if he were ever to go away...I'd lose interest in everything. Not even Phoebe would be able to lift my spirits again.
I wish I could fall out of love, maybe not be as odd as I am. And I wish the 'un' part in unrequited didn't exsist. I wish one day he'd walk up to me and tell me that he's always felt the same way that I do...that he just hadn't realized. I'm such a basketcase I've even made up different senarios of how I want him to admit it:
My home, or his
school,
or even some random place where we just so happen to bump into each other.
But they're obviously just fantasies, dreams, a trick of the mind.
Unrequited love at first sight.
Head over heals for him.
I just wish...just hope...just dream...of the day that the feeling will be mutual.
"MOVE IT FOOTBALL HEAD!"
*Sigh* I guess today won't be the day.