Summary: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. In Ike's case though, it safe to say that curiosity has scared him for life.

Pairings: Ike, Robin, Link, and Marth friendship. No romance this time. Sorry.

The fact that Robin was sometimes a guy was a source of endless dirty jokes and amusement for the less mature Smashers. The children in particular got a kick out of Robin's dual gender, they were kids so they got a pass. But some of the less mature adults could be cruel in their mocking of Robin's condition. This stopped rather quickly when Robin electrocuted Wario so hard that his mustache caught fire. And that was before Ike and Marth went double on him in Final Destination. When asked why the violent display, both merely commented that "Fire Emblem has to look after their own."

For Ike, he liked Robin, both the male and female versions. It was nice having a guy who thought like a girl around, advice for getting dates, and a girl who thought like a guy, someone to bro out with. So needless to say the two got along splendidly.

There was, however, one thing about Robin that drove Ike nuts with curiosity. That book Robin always carried around with him/her. Most just assumed it was a spell tome, but Ike was observant. He had seen, on multiple occasions Robin giggle in a not so innocent way when reading it every now and then. Plus, Ike had seen words and dialogue when Robin tipped the book during fights. It was all quite strange and it got Ike riled up.

You couldn't really blame Ike for being curious, he was a mercenary and mercenaries had to be curious or you wound up dead in a ditch. Ike didn't like unanswered questions. And this one was all the more obsessing because it involved a friend. Robin mocked him with it, and he was nearing the end of his string.

So one day, when Ike was looking for his gender swapping friend for a duel, he found Robin's room empty. And, lo and behold, the infamous book was there on the dresser. Ike glared at the offending tome. He knew it was wrong to look at a friend's stuff without permission, but damn it all he wanted to know!

"Screw it." He said to himself. "One look won't hurt." He assured himself. Robin didn't need to know, and it would just be a quick look. No harm no foul.

Slowly, as though it might explode (and knowing Robin it just might), Ike picked up the book. "What the?" he said to himself, finding the first page he opened to being the usual spell page that Robin showed everyone. To Ike's surprise, they were duct taped in.

Ike leafed past the spells and found what he was looking for after a few moments.

"…AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!"

The scream was heard all across the mansion, striking horror and terror into all who heard it.

Across the Mansion, Marth and Link heard the scream. "I know that girlish scream." Said Marth, terror creeping into his voice. "Link! That was Ike! We need to help him!"

"Right." Said Link, and the two took off towards the direction of Ike's wail. After some searching they found the hulking swordsman on the floor of Robin's room.

"Ike!" cried Marth, running over to his friend. "For the love of all the Gods man, including that one female God that you killed, say something man!" Ike merely groaned in response. "Ike, speak to me!" pleaded Marth. "What happened to you?"

"Book…" groaned Ike, sounding as though in physical agony.

"Book? What book? Speak sense man! What did the book do to you?" asked Link, leaning over Ike.

"...Fifty Shades of Gray… doujinshi."

Meanwhile, far away in another part of the mansion, Robin in his/her female form sneezed and looked around. She was certain that someone, somewhere, was talking about her. After a moment she shrugged and went back to writing her newest masterpiece. She had been studying a recent piece of crap turned hit for a while now and she was confident in his/her research.

After all, if one fanfiction author had turned their smut into millions of dollars then why couldn't she?