Summary: After the events of "Cyberwoman" and "Countrycide", Ianto is left emotionally broken. Will Jack be able to put him back together?

Rating: M

Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness,Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper

Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Owen/Tosh,

Warnings: Swearing, angst, suicide attempt, Gwen bashing

Spoilers: Cyberwoman, Countrycide

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I just like to play with them.

"Lisa," Ianto gasped, struggling to speak through the feeling of Lisa's thumbs pressing onto his windpipe. "I...loved you...I r-risked ev-every-thing..."

"You didn't try hard enough," Lisa growled, increasing the pressure to Ianto's throat. "Do you really think those people saved you because they care anything about you? They all laugh at you! This is your punishment, Ianto! Condemned to live out your days as a useless, broken freak!"

At those words, Ianto could only cry. Lisa was right. Of course she was right! How could he ever be foolish enough to believe this was anything more than some twisted life sentence for his crimes?

"So-rry..." Ianto whimpered, looking up to meet Lisa's angry glare, which was becoming increasingly blurry as he slowly slipped out of consciousness.

He was a disappointment. An embarrassment. He had let Lisa down. He had let Torchwood down.

Deciding that death would be the kindest fate, Ianto stopped struggling. At Lisa's hand, he would finally get his wish.

He would be free.

TWTWTWTWTW

"Ianto! Ianto!"

Jack's voice was a faraway echo; piercing the darkness that had swallowed Ianto up. And as he slowly blinked into wakefulness, he found himself resting in the American's lap, cradled in his arms.

"Jack!" Ianto jerked upright in a sudden movement, confused, and certain he must be dreaming. "H-how..."

"Easy, Ianto. Just rest," Jack whispered, easing Ianto back down into his arms. "You wanna tell me what happened here? I came down to fetch you, and found you thrashing around on the floor."

Ianto took several deep breaths, trying to get his mind to communicate properly with his mouth. Struggling to express something that he still didn't understand.

"Lisa...she w-was here..."

"Lisa is dead, Ianto," Jack reminded him. "You saw her die."

"I know that, Jack!" Ianto snapped, sitting up once again and facing Jack with a glare that was more frustrated than angry. "B-but she was here. I...felt her hands ch-choking..." Ianto's voice trailed off, and he closed his eyes with a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I've g-gone mad...haven't I?"

"I wouldn't say that," Jack answered, pulling Ianto back into his arms, so that the Welshman's head was resting on his shoulder. "I'd say you've suffered through a series of traumatic events, and were never given the support you needed in the aftermath. But I promise, that's going to change."

"I don't...n-need your charity," Ianto said tiredly.

"Don't think of it as charity. Think of it as me finally realizing what really matters." This time, it was Jack who pulled back. Keeping his hands firmly on Ianto's arms. "Now...what do you need right now, Ianto Jones?"

"I..."Ianto bit his lip, considering his answer. Despite the fact that he wasn't technically working for Torchwood anymore, he didn't want to just walk away from it without making sure Rhys had a clear idea what was expected of him as Ianto's replacement. But the fellow Welshman seemed a quick study, and Ianto felt that what he wanted wouldn't need to be sacrificed for what he felt he needed.

"I w-want to...finish tr-training up Rhys today," Ianto finally answered. "And then...i-if you still...want to...I'd like to t-take that holiday y-you...mentioned earlier. I just need to g-get...get away from Torchwood for awhile.""

Jack smiled, letting both his hands slide down to clasp Ianto's. "You got it. I'll make the arrangements while you finish training Rhys." Jack kissed Ianto on the cheek, and for the first time that day, Ianto felt safe and grounded. While he couldn't stop thinking about what Lisa - or, the hallucination of Lisa, anyway - had told him; that Jack and the others had saved him as a punishment, Jack's actions left little room for doubt. He truly did seem to love Ianto. And even if it was all a lie, it was the most beautiful of lies.