Victor pushed Yuri up against the wall and mashed their mouths together, gums rubbing, tongues mingling, and their breath clashing. Yuri was completely caught up in the heat of the moment. His heart pulsed so heavily that the beating rung though his ears like a drum. The warmth in his body was so intense, it was numbing. His hands clung to Victor's shirt desperately so that he could be sure that the object of his desire was tight in his grip.

The two men panted but didn't stop. Victor fumbled with the zipper of Yuri's pants which just wouldn't cooperate. The frustration drove him to bite the smaller man's bottom lip, demanding that he do something about the problem. Yuri emitted a small whine of surprise but complied anyhow, going for his zipper and pulling it down in one try. Immediately after, his hand was pushed away and the Russian took over again.

Yuri began moaning even before he was touched, desperate for the attention. "Victor," he whined. The man took hold of the back of Yuri's neck with a powerful hand and began to press kisses over the sensitive flesh. Yuri's mind buzzed. "Nnnn," He moaned.

He tilted his head back and gave Victor access to his whole self, holding nothing back. The sound of Victor's kisses rose up to his ears and made the heat in his stomach grow more intense. A moment later, a warm hand was slid under his underwear, causing him to gasp and his knees to buckle. He felt Victor's finger tips travel along his shaft. Yuri trembled at the touch. The kisses on his neck increased.

Yuri opened his eyes to see Victor looking back at him, watching his reaction. Without commenting on the obviously discomposed Yuri, he went back to the man's neck, sucking to create marks of passion. The hand became more liberal as well, grasping Yuri and sliding up and down his length a few times slowly.

Yuri responded by letting out broken moans and holding onto his lover tightly. He tried to think back to how the situation came about.

He remembered that they had been watching the opera and then, when they left their seats during the intermission, he had lead Victor to an isolated cove in the theater and kissed him. Not just a peck but a kiss of devotion. He had held the man's collar and conveyed his deep desire, matching their lips to each other's and pushing his tongue inside the other's mouth. He didn't quite remember what had given him that courage or made him lose his good sense. He supposed that the opera had dredged up all the romanticism his soul could contain and it overwhelmed him to the point that he couldn't help but give Victor the affection he had been holding back.

I was so full…so full of love. My heart's desire was finally more potent than my conscience. Opera does that to me… but that wasn't just it. I wouldn't have acted that way if I were seeing it with Phichit. No, I wouldn't act that way for anyone but Victor. He creates this desire in me, the opera just drove it out.

Yuri released a lustful moan as Victor's hand began tugging at his erection in a more forceful way. His panting mouth was covered by Victor's and Yuri felt a tongue playing along the roof of his mouth. The sensation was so satisfying. He couldn't remember the last time he had been kissed so passionately.

Yuri slid his hand up to the back of Victor's head. He buried his fingers in the man's soft hair and closed his grip, pulling lightly. Victor rewarded him with a grunt of pleasure. They pulled away from each other slowly and looked into each other's eyes. Yuri realized then that they hadn't said anything to each other since leaving the theater. The drive home was silent, partially in homage to the beauty of the opera and partially because each of them were waiting only until they got home to satisfy their desires. As soon as they were upstairs, they were in Victor's room and the lustful encounter had begun as if each of them were satisfying a burning itch.

Yuri looked into Victor's eyes. There was a wildness in them that had been ignited by the heated touches and deep kisses. As Victor continued to focus into those deep, brown, orbs, he regained himself and the wildness dissolved into gentleness. "Victor…" Yuri said softly. "What are we doing?"

The implication that Yuri disapproved of their passion made Victor defensive. He put on his tough façade, jerking Yuri's penis hard. "You know what we're doing." He answered.

The smaller man let out a sharp gasp then glared back at his lover until Victor's expression was apologetic. "I'm serious."

"You want to stop?" Victor asked, wounded and confused.

"If we go anymore, we'll go all the way." Yuri pointed out. Victor shrugged. It was true, he had been expecting a long, passionate, night with Yuri under the sheets but it embarrassed him to admit that because apparently, Yuri wasn't thinking the same thing. "If something like this happens between us… I don't think it should be like this."

The man looked around the room, confused. "Like what?"

"An act to satisfy a stiff dick. This may be normal for you but for me…" Yuri looked away, embarrassed. "Doing stuff like this is really intimate. I can't just do it."

"You think I'm not an intimate person?" Victor accused, sounding offended.

"You take all your business to bed, remember? You told me that yourself."

He rolled his eyes. "That time was different."

"How?"

"This is… more. It happened on its own, not because one of us was trying to play the other."

"How do I know you're not playing me?"

That statement hurt Victor and as always, he responded to hurt with anger. "What are you so afraid of, Yuri? I'm horny and you obviously are too or else you wouldn't be leaking all over my hand. It's a simple equation."

Yuri scowled and removed Victor's hand from his member. "I don't have to explain myself to you."

"What? Do I have cooties of something? Do you want me to get tested and have the results laminated?"

"You're being an asshole right now, Victor."

"You think I'm playing you? If anything, you're the only playing mind games here. You started this whole thing during intermission and I'm certain that up until now, you were loving it. Then you have the audacity to accuse me of playing you!? Do you really think that's all we have? A game?"

"Victor!" The smaller scolded.

"Well, if it's still just a game to you, Yuri, then what are you so afraid of!? I'm horny, you're horny. What more do you want!?"

"I want a partner that I love!" Yuri answered. "I can't do this sort of thing without love, I just can't, and I don't think either of us are ready to throw out that word." Emotion dampened Yuri's voice but he refused to cry. Victor's maliciousness was like a flame that had just been drowned. "Do you understand? If we do this and I can't be sure that we love each other, I'll wake up hating myself. Call it weak or unprofessional or whatever, I just can't."

Victor looked to Yuri and slowly, he returned to his docile self. The smaller man excused himself to the bathroom, pushing past Victor and leaving. The door smacked shut behind him. Guilt wallowed in Victor's stomach. "God, I'm so stupid." He groaned to himself, massaging his temples. "He's going to hate me…"

Victor's attitude changed. "Fine, let him hate me. See if I care. This is just a business deal. I can be satisfied whenever I want, I don't need you." He said, speaking to the door Yuri had closed behind him. "I can buy girls and boys by the dozens. I can have new partners every night. And they'll all be prettier than you. They won't be so whiny. They'll get down on their knees and beg to be my partner, Yuri. You think you're too good for me? You think you're hot shit, don't you? You think you're so pretty?"

He remembered looking at Yuri in that theater when the lighters were low and tears were glistening on the younger man's cheeks. He remembered those few walks they took together under the morning sun, that clever tongue, those curious eyes, the beautiful haikus he read aloud, the look of his sleeping face. Victor's anger melted and he felt as though he wanted to cry. "I'm sorry… they'll never be prettier than you. Please… Yuri… don't hate me…"

In the bathroom, Yuri tugged on his erection and cursed Victor. "He's so fucking stupid." He whispered to himself. "That fucking idiot! It's all about getting what you want, isn't it? You were horny, I made a bad decision and the doors were opened for you to just have a field day with me."

Yuri remembered back to the theater. Victor had been genuine when he smiled at him then. He had been genuine when he kissed him the night before and when he had listened lovingly to the poems. Yuri sighed, admitting to himself that he had made a mistake. No… Victor may act insensitive but he's not like that. He's sincere. He thought. The things we did together… he wasn't just horny. He wasn't playing me. He put as much emotion into it as I did. God, I'm the fuck'n idiot. Why did I accuse him of playing me? We both know we're past that. We both know that we have something real now. I was… I was scared.

With that off his chest, he could finish taking care of himself. It satisfied his body but his mind was as restless as ever. He fixed his pants and went back to Victor's room, rapping his fist against the door twice lightly. What am I going to say? He wondered. I have to say something. I can't sleep with things the way they are.

The door opened in seconds and Victor greeted his partner with a shameful expression. A few moments of silence passed between the two. "Are you going to come in?" He asked, making way for Yuri.

Hesitantly, the Japanese man stepped in and closed the door behind himself. Yuri opened his mouth to address the man but was beaten to it.

"I'm sure you already know this, Yuri…" He struggled with the words, "but I like you. When you're angry like this… it makes me feel bad."

"I'm not angry anymore." Yuri gave the man a little smile to ease his nerves.

"And when you're nice to me, after I've wronged you… that only makes me feel worse."

"You're not the only one with something to be sorry for. I…I was wrong too."

"Was that an apology?" Victor asked.

"It was a statement." Yuri corrected. "I was wrong to accuse you of playing me. If my intuition is right…" He looked up to meet Victor's eyes, "Then neither of us are playing power games anymore. Is my intuition right?"

Victor nodded.

"And… I don't think we're just acquaintances or business partners."

"What do think we are then?"

Yuri rolled his eyes. "Come on, I've only known you three days. I'm not obligated to answer that question for at least another week."

"Is this your idea of teasing me?"

"This is my way of saying it's too soon to know much of anything yet. Let's wait, then we can talk about serious matters. Until then, let's just… have fun."

"What kind of fun?"

"The kind we were having yesterday and all day today. Just being ourselves. Learning about each other. Let's just spend some time together, not pretending to be anything we're not. Just honest."

Victor considered this with his arms crossed. "Okay, but here's my condition. Go to your room, take out your contacts, put on your glasses, and rinse the gel out of your hair then come back."

"What for?"

"We're supposed to use these next few days to learn about each other, right? I want to know what you look like when you're not trying to seduce me. Hair down, glasses on. Just the regular Yuri."

"Okay." He agreed. "But you have to meet me half way. Hair out of your face, fully clothed. Deal?"

"Deal."

Yuri left only to stare at himself in the mirror as anxiety made his fingertips tingle. He didn't know why it scared him to show Victor the "unprepared" part of himself other than it was exactly what it sounded like, unprepared. His face was clean of makeup, his hair free of gel, his eyes guarded by glasses, and his soul vulnerable.

I'm actually going to do it, He coached himself, looking sternly into the mirror. I'm going to let Victor see me. I'm going to let him get close to me. And I'm going to do the same to him. I've going to get to know and love him without restricting myself.

His confidence crumbled as his head fell into his arms, feeling helpless. "This is such a bad idea." He mumbled into his elbow. "I shouldn't be giving in. I shouldn't be indulging. I'm here on work, not to play 'let's have a Hallmark romance and ignore the grave I'm digging for myself'. God, Yuri. You're a fuck'n idiot!"

He took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror again, plucking up his forced ignorance and stupid courage. "I'm going to do it." He said with a nod. "I'm going to indulge. I deserve to fall in love."

He made his way to Victor's room, blocking out his nagging conscience as it tried to remind him of his situation. The door opened to him and Yuri's conscience was dissipated. Victor stood before him in a t-shirt and sweat pants with a pink clip holding back his bangs. The professional Yuri would have hidden his delight but the honest Yuri openly smiled at the man who surprisingly, smiled back.

The Russian played a dark cocoa tuft of Yuri's bangs. "So, this is what you were hiding from me? Why? Nothing's wrong with it. Healthy, strong, rich color…"

Yuri stepped in and closed the door. "Being sexy is part of the image. It's easier to make business deals when you're hot. People will give you what you want. This," he said, gesturing to the fluffed-up mess, "Isn't very sexy. It makes me look younger than I am."

"How old are you?" Victor asked with a smirk. "I remember you avoiding the question last time I asked."

"It's part of my profession to seduce, and part of that is never letting your partner know how old you are. People like to guess. It entices them."

The Russian laughed and sat on his bed. "Okay, let me think. You're… in your twenties, right?"

Yuri nodded. "Right."

"Your early twenties?"

He gave a so-so gesture with his hand.

"Twenty-five?"

He bit his bottom lip to contain a smile and shook his head.

"Twenty-four?" He guessed. Yuri didn't answer but his wide grin was enough to give it away. "Twenty-four! I got you. Now you do me."

"Oh, I already know everything. You're 28 and your birthday is on Christmas. I do my research."

"Yeah? Well you're not as smart as you think, Mr. I-do-my-research. I don't know what day I was born on and no one else does either. It was just decided for me as a child that we would celebrate it on Christmas and the tradition has stuck around."

Yuri pried gently. "You don't have a birth certificate?"

Victor shook his head. "No one really cares when an abandoned child was born, they just worry about who's going to feed it and take care of it."

Yuri had intended to mute his look of pity but it showed through. "Sorry… I won't ask any more if-"

"If what?" Victor asked coolly. "We're supposed to be open, right? To learn more about each other. Well, that's the story of Victor Nikiforov. They gave me the same birthday as the Christ child, hoping it would be a good omen and that I would grow to be a virtuous and kind man. Omens are nice in poetry but have no sustainability in practice. Instead I buy rocks, sell rocks, and the world crumbles in my wake. It's not as glorious as it looks on the outside. We wear nice clothes and act like we've got it all figured out… like the money is enough to make us happy and to wipe our consciences clean of old blood but money is just money. It can get you a nice suit but it can't make you happy wearing it."

Yuri sat beside the man on the bed and touched the back of his hand to comfort him. "It's just like you said: everyone is too something for this business. You? Too lonely."

"Being lonely makes you great at this job." He countered, not meeting Yuri's eyes. "Nothing to lose, nothing to fret over, no weakness. Weakness breaks you."

Yuri took Victor's chin lightly and pulled it toward him. The Russian did little to fight. When their eyes finally met, Yuri could see the loneliness and longing that were rich in his deep blue gaze. He leaned in with his eyes closed but waited for Victor to reciprocate, their lips moving on each other's. One man kissed with compassion and the other with desperation, both wanting only to be with the other in that moment.

When their lips separated, Yuri got up from the bed immediately so to avoid getting caught up in a moment of passion with Victor again. He meandered over to the shelves that were full of books and trinkets as the other man watched. His fingers gently played over the objects as he studied them. Suddenly, a book caught his attention. He pulled it out and read the title, which was written completely in Chinese characters. He opened the book and looked through a page. "You're trying to learn Chinese?" Yuri asked.

"I know a bit. I just have that to study from time to time. I have no one to practice with so I find it hard to stay sharp."

"我理解。" (Me too) Yuri responded, still looking through the book.

Victor perked up. "Are you fluent?"

Yuri gave a more-or-less gesture with his hand. He hesitated to say he was fluent in any language but Japanese though he was highly skilled in a hand-full of tongues.

"What languages do you speak?" Victor asked.

"Well? Japanese, Russian, English, Chinese, and Thai. Poorly? Spanish and Swahili."

"That's so many!"

Yuri blushed a bit. He had learned Japanese from his parents, Chinese and English at school, Thai from Phichit, and the others from the academy. He had to know all the major business languages plus a few extra depending on what assignments he was meant to take. Thankfully, he'd always had a knack for languages and picked them up easily. "I'm a business man," Yuri excused, "and I don't like to use translators. The less middlemen, the better."

"Read for me." Victor prompted with excitement.

"Read what?"

"That book." He clarified. Yuri glanced down at the open page and began to read aloud in Chinese. "Now in English." Victor requested.

"Double object pronouns should come before the verb set in the circumstance of a present-progressive verb." Yuri translated as he read. Victor was amazed.

"Now Thai." He requested. Yuri obliged. After a sentence, Victor changed his mind again. "Now Japanese." Yuri started on the next sentence only to be interrupted half-way through when Victor changed his mind again. "Spanish!"

"Los objetos indirectos no pueden cambiar-" Yuri was stopped again.

"Swahili!" Victor cheered.

"You have to at least let me finish my sentence." Yuri complained. "Besides, it too late at night for this. Speaking all these different languages makes my head tired."

Victor patted a space on the bed beside him. "Then come lay down. That way, if you fall asleep while reading, you won't fall to the ground and hurt yourself."

Yuri looked into the other man's eyes in search of ulterior motives but found none. He put the Chinese book back and instead chose Moby Dick then settled into the bed beside Victor. Yuri opened the book and saw that it was printed in English. "It smells old." He observed.

"It's a first edition." Victor answered, leaning back and closing his eyes. "But don't worry. It's not that fragile. Read it anyhow."

"In what language?"

"Russian."

Yuri began at the beginning and didn't fall asleep until chapter 6. At that point, Victor took the book from his limp hands and left it on the nightstand with a piece of string marking the page. As he got comfortable next to Yuri and prepared to go to sleep himself, he wondered if it would be alright to hold or touch the other man. On one hand, Yuri had proved that he enjoyed physical attention from Victor but on the other hand, it felt wrong to try his luck while the other was unconscious. He tested the waters by putting a hand on Yuri's shoulder. The smaller man reacted to the warmth instantly, lazily shifting his weight to be closer to the heat. Victor proceeded, wrapping his arm around Yuri. The Asian moved into Victor, cuddling into him like a pillow. He held his partner and fell asleep in minutes.

Yuri was the first to wake up and realized immediately that he couldn't see. Shit, I fell asleep in my glasses, he thought. He spotted the faint blue frames on the pillow beside his head. It wasn't until he reached for them and found his arms restrained that he remembered where he was. He looked to Victor who slept soundly. The man's long limbs trapped Yuri.

"Victor." He whispered. The man did not respond. Yuri tried again and again, louder and more persistent each time but the man didn't budge. Yuri resisted the urge to yell at him, afraid of waking the others. He began to fear that the other man was drugged or paralyzed somehow. Any normal person would have woken up long ago. He kept calling his name without success. Finally, Yuri nipped the arm that hung over his shoulders. That stirred the silver-haired man to the point that Yuri could get his attention by calling his name. Victor's eyes opened slowly, still full of drowsiness. Those deep blue orbs looked at Yuri with confusion.

"Christ, Victor!" He exclaimed, keeping his voice low. "I need a bullhorn to wake you up!"

The other man rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes, giving Yuri the freedom to retrieve his glasses. Victor grumbled. "It's early." He complained.

"I should go before the others notice. And you should work on your reaction time. You're not going to survive long in this business when you sleep like a grizzly bear. You're guard is down."

"Oh, my guard is down? You're the one sleeping in the bed of the enemy." He put a finger across Yuri's neck like a blade. "I could do anything I want to you. You're unguarded. You have no weapons, no protection, no back up. You're the one who should be careful."

Yuri didn't filch. He looked to the man with calm eyes. "You're the one who told me to come to you unguarded and I did because I trust you."

"What if you're wrong."

"I'm not."

"What makes you so sure?"

"My intuition."

Victor removed his finger from Yuri's throat and turned to his bedside drawer. He pulled out a switch blade and held that to Yuri's neck in place of a finger. Suddenly, the threat of betrayal was much greater but Yuri still didn't react. He looked to Victor, not even sparing a glance for the blade. "You won't." The Japanese man said without doubt.

Victor pushed the blade more insistently into the soft, vulnerable, flesh. Yuri gasped lightly but didn't move away or put his hands up to stop the other. In a second, the blade was removed from Yuri's throat and pushed back into the handle. "Why do you trust me so much?" He asked the younger, genuine in his confusion.

"You wanted me to trust you." The other answered.

"I could have slit your throat. No one would have helped you. You had nothing to defend yourself. I could have given you a slow death right here, right now."

Yuri shook his head. "No… you couldn't have."

"Don't play stupid. You can't seriously be so naïve to think that I haven't killed before. Look at these hands." He presented his palms. "They've had blood on them so many times they should be dyed pink."

Yuri gently took one of the hands and pressed it to his cheek. "They're soft."

Victor cocked his head at the gesture. Against his will, his hand softened and cupped the cheek it held. "I'm not the kind of person you should like."

"Me either." Guilt made Yuri's stomach cold.

"This is a mistake." The Russian argued.

"I know… but I want it and I'm selfish."

"We shouldn't be doing this."

"Why not?"

"I'll corrupt you."

"You're wrong. I'm already corrupted. You're my present. Fate has dealt me a shitty hand. It corrupted me, it put me in hopeless situations where my only choices are bad ones. But in all of this, fate has offered me a silver lining. You're my present. Something bright in my rotten story."

Victor looked at his partner piteously. "Your eyes are broken."

"I can see you clearly."

"I've done unforgivable things."

"We're equals, then." Said Yuri, thinking of the day he would betray Victor. The word unforgivable echoed in his mind.

The Russian man gave up. "You're the stupidest person I've ever met. I bet if a lion told you it was hungry, you would saw off your arm."

"Don't be ridiculous, I'd offer the leg first." Yuri joked with a little smile.

"Yuri, I-" Victor began with enthusiasm but his courage quickly wilted into embarrassment and uncertainty. "I like you. Don't leave me." He finally said.

Yuri kissed the hand that still rested on his cheek and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "It's better if Yurio and Yakov don't wake up to find me in your bed. Then I'm certain that they'll never like me."

"I don't mean like that…" Victor bit his lip until he had the strength to push the words out. "This isn't just a business deal and we're not just business partners. So… when this is over… let's not move on."

The guilt was now sickeningly painful. Yuri nodded at the other man. "You're special to me too, Victor."

"Can we…I don't even know what I'm saying." He grumbled in frustration, his face flushed. "Can you stay close to me? I don't mean move in or anything just… be there, within reach. Pick up the phone when I call and don't forget me."

"I promise."

Yuri left the room soon after uttering the words and went straight to the toilet to drool into it, his nauseousness triggered by anxiety. Poor Victor. He doesn't know what I'm doing to him. He has no idea how badly I'm going to hurt him.

He remembered Victor putting the knife to his throat. Then he imagined himself doing the same thing to Victor but instead of putting the knife away, he plunged it in and let the warm blood seep onto his hands. The last glass tears fell from those ocean eyes. The image was enough to push Yuri over the edge. He gagged and hurled into the toilet, pain ripping at his throat.

I'm sending him to his death. Jail, solitary confinement, abuse, mistreatment, and death. How can you call that love? Yuri imagined visiting the broken man in prison. With tears in his eyes, he would beg Yuri to help him, saying over and over that he didn't want to die.

He hurled again, his stomach finally empty this time. "I'm so sorry…" He whispered in his faintest voice before giving himself over to sobs. He bit his lip until it bled, trying to contain the noise. What am I doing? He asked himself. I thought this was just supposed to be a job. But I love him… I love him. He admitted silently.

When he felt that he had regained some control of himself, Yuri stumbled to his and Phichit's room, his eyes red, his cheeks wet, his hair a mess and his expression helplessly suffering. His friend was already awake when he entered. He opened his mouth to ask where Yuri had been but quickly shut it, realizing that something had gone horribly wrong. He held his arms out and the Japanese man fell into them, the sobs returning as he clung tightly to Phichit.

"What is it?" Phichit asked.

"I love him." Yuri admitted, his voice trembling. "So much."

The horrible news settled in for a minute. There was silence save the soft pants and whines from Yuri. Finally, Phichit laid his head on his friends' shoulder in a sad resign, nuzzling into the man who had been practically a brother to him since childhood. "May god take pity on you." He whispered in Thai. "You poor, poor, soul."