If you've read the A/N at the beginning of my outtakes story, you'll know I don't hold much respect for Mrs. Everdeen. This is still true, but I'd like to think that once she'd gotten through some of the crap in her head, she improved a little, and maybe even understood the situation better than Katniss thought. We've already seen that Prim was more aware of what was happening than Katniss realized, so I think it's probably also partially true for Mrs. Everdeen. Here's what I think would happen if she sat down with Peeta and talked to him, some time before the Victory Tour.
"Peeta?" I almost missed the quiet voice, so much like her daughter's.
"Hello, Mrs. Everdeen." I greet her, unwrapping the bread I brought over for them. I could hear Prim giggling upstairs, probably telling Katniss a story.
"You look just like John did." She observes before giving herself a little shake. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you hear that a lot." I shake my head.
"It's fine, I don't mind. Is there anything else I can get for you?" I offer, knowing she might have a list of things to buy for healing people.
"No, I'd just like to talk to you." I'm sure my face blanches a little, because she smiles softly and reassures me, "Don't worry, I'm not upset at you." I nod and she gestures for me to sit on one of the kitchen chairs around the table.
"Is there anything I need to apologize for?" I begin, not knowing how she'd taken any of the love story between Katniss and me, all I know is that she doesn't want Katniss to have a boyfriend quite yet. She shakes her head.
"I couldn't ask for a better young man for my daughter. No, I don't think it's my place to rebuke you for anything you've done, after all, it's really because of you that she came home."
"I don't think-" I object, frowning.
"I know, I know. It's because of her that you came home. But you saved her first, from what I saw. I really do not mind you having a relationship with Katniss - yes, I know what I said to the reporters at the station."
"You told them that Katniss was too young." I reminded her, confused.
"I did. I said that so that nobody would be suspicious if you two didn't get married before the next Games. I don't know if you realize what the future holds for you, your names will be forever linked, and you can't stay apart for much longer."
"I don't know what you mean." She sighs, rubbing her hand over her creased forehead.
"When you both were about to eat the berries, it was seen in one of two ways, that you were defying the Capitol in the most fundamental way, refusing to win their Games, or that you were both so in love that you couldn't stand the thought of being apart - which is what the Capitol needs people to believe. You can't be apart because if you are, it will be more widely believed that you were both rebelling in the arena. You have to marry Katniss." The full weight of what she was explaining to me hits me right then, and my shoulders sink against the hard wooden chair.
"I- I am so sorry, when I told Caesar that I - I never meant for - I wasn't planning on both of us living!" I finally get out. I pull on the hair at my temples. "I never meant for her to be stuck with me, I know she doesn't feel the same way I-" I freeze, looking up suddenly. Mrs. Everdeen's eyebrows raise a tiny bit. "You knew, didn't you?" I ask.
"I know that Katniss doesn't love easily. I know that she's extremely protective of those that she does love. I know that she rarely admits to herself that she loves people other than Primrose. Other than that, I know very little." She tells me. I frown.
"So are you saying she does love me, she just doesn't know?" I dare to ask. Mrs. Everdeen shrugs.
"I can't tell you yes or no, I stopped being able to read Katniss a long while ago, and she doesn't tell me things." She sighs heavily again, resting her chin on her hand and leaning on the armrest of the chair. "I stopped being her mother long ago too, but I'm sure you know that. Both she and I know that I have no place telling her what to do, I gave that up when I - " She looked down, cleared her throat and spoke quieter. "I abandoned the girls at the worst possible time, and they can never know how much I regret those years. I made Katniss grow up too fast. I turned her into what she is now, emotionally unavailable." A single tear streaks down her cheek and I look away, feeling like I'm not the one she needs to tell this to.
"I have no place telling her that she's too young to have a boyfriend. She may be too young, in ordinary circumstances, it would be ridiculous to be so serious when it had only been a couple weeks since the first time you spoke, but..." She wipes her tears away. "We aren't in normal circumstances, and she's much older than I've ever been." She finishes. I clear my throat again.
"How do I fit in? What happens now?"
"You... You are free to do whatever you and Katniss decide is best. You have my blessing for whatever you choose, if that means anything. I know you care a great deal for her, and she for you as well. I don't really know how that translates practicality-wise. It's between you, her, and as much as it irritates me, Haymitch. You both need to talk to him about what's best for all of your safety." She stands, signifying our little talk has come to an end. I am horribly uncomfortable, feeling like an outsider still.
It saddens me, but I feel that Katniss, Haymitch, Effie and I are more of a family than my parents and brothers, and sometimes it seems the same is true for Katniss as well. I smile at Mrs. Everdeen, thanking her for telling me everything.
She says it's up to Me, Katniss and Haymitch to discuss what happens now, but I know for sure that nothing will be done unless Katniss is fully willing. Nothing. Even if that costs my safety, I will not force her into anything. I refuse to force her into something the Capitol's concocted.
Is that rebellion? Probably.