Their hands never fell apart until they stepped inside Armin's apartment.
When he opened the door wide and beckoned her inside, she had to blink her eyes a few times to get used to the bright room before her. The walls were the color of eggshells and the carpet the color of acorns. A red loveseat sat against the wall to where a wooden coffee table stood before it, some paperwork spread across it (most likely homework knowing Armin). A small TV sat on the opposite side of the wall and next to it was a fireplace. Immediately on the left was a tiny kitchen, complete with a stove, microwave, refrigerator, dishwasher, and a white counter with two wooden bar stools.
Annie didn't move from her place on the doormat as her eyes scanned the area like a little kid in a toy store. She hadn't been in an actual house or apartment for half a year. The living room was clean and welcoming and her mouth watered at the thought of a fully stocked kitchen.
She narrowed her eyes a bit when she noticed Armin staring at her curiously. "What?"
"Nothing!" He went back to removing his black winter jacket (it looked old and worn-out; a hand-me-down maybe?) and placed it on the coat rack next to Annie. He looked back at her and offered a hand. "Do you want me to take your coat?"
She paused and she wasn't sure why. She liked her coat because it kept her warm and it made her feel safe, protected. But then again, it was originally Armin's coat…
She mentally shook that thought away as she quickly started unbuttoning the jacket. Just as she was about to rip it off, she felt the heavy fabric slowly drag down her shoulders until she didn't feel it anymore. She watched Armin free her hands from his coat and put it away.
He turned back to her. "Go ahead and make yourself at home. I'll get you something to eat."
As he walked away, Annie began shifting from one foot to the other. She could feel the Female Titan starting to get angry and heard her growl from deep within her. But she felt another part of her reassure her that everything was okay, telling to step further into the room and to finally accept the company she's been yearning for so long.
And so that's what she did, but with extreme caution, for she knew the Female Titan didn't like this. Not one bit.
Annie shakenly lowered herself onto the red loveseat, sinking down further into it than she expected. Her eyes toured out to the window to the right, watching all the city lights beginning to beam. The sight was a bit calming, because she knew she wasn't out there, fighting for her life. But instead she was somewhere warm and comforting, for once in her life.
Five minutes later, she felt Armin nudge her arm as he presented to her a bowl of heated pasta and a tall glass of apple cider. "It's leftovers from last night," he explained. "I'd figure you'd like the rest of it."
She timidly took his offering. "What about you?"
He strolled over to the fireplace in the corner, retrieving a box of matches left on the mantelpiece above it. He peeked at her behind his shoulder, grinning. "You shouldn't have to worry about me. I have access to food twenty-four seven; you don't."
He had a point.
She ate the warm pasta as Armin attempted to get a fire going. It took a few tries to get his match to light up, but she eventually heard the birth of a flame and then the small crackle of it expanding. She watched him shuffle around the firewood to help the tiny flame grow—or to be more accurate, she watched his body move.
He was small (that's more of an understatement) and wasn't very fit at all. He didn't struck her at all as the type of boy to watch sports all day and head to the gym every once in a while—more of the opposite really. She figured the most physical activity he got was running from class to class in school. She observed his bones shifting around as he continued to build the fire, looking at his thin shoulder blades poke through his white button-down shirt. She then began to wonder if she weighed more than him; the thought didn't bother her, in fact she found it sort of amusing. She wasn't proud of her short structure anyway and she'll be the first one to admit that she lost many pounds after she ran away from home. But she still practiced her kicks and punches whenever she had the chance, so all she weighed must've been nothing but muscle.
She glanced down at herself and studied her own appearance for a moment, something she hadn't done in a long time. Yes, she was proud of her strong physical body and enjoyed those moments whenever she had to beat up some poor untrained man (which happened definitely more than once in her lifetime), but she was also self-conscious about herself as well. Like her thighs for instance; they were huge. She knew it contained mostly muscle but they always seemed a bit bigger every time she looked at them. She shuddered and crossed her legs and tried to straighten her sweatshirt over them—she didn't want Armin looking at them.
Her face reflected in the blank TV screen across from her and she wanted to cover that up with her hair. God, how she hated her nose. It was almost as big as her thighs combined. She got her looks from her father; he also sported a very stern and naturally angry expression. Her face was way too masculine and she was sure she could be mistaken for a boy from a distance. She took a big gulp of her apple cider, placed her empty plate on the coffee table in front of her, and tried her best to huddle into herself.
"You okay?" She felt the couch sink lower next to her and peered up at Armin's concerned face.
"Yeah." She looked at her plate. "Thanks for the food."
He grinned. "No problem."
They sat in silence for a while, Annie staring at the crackling fire while she felt Armin's eyes on her. Usually this would bother her (he'd probably have a black eye by now) but it was different when it was him. The Female Titan hissed at her, How can you just sit there and let him in? He is at the foot of your door and will open it eventually if you keep this up! You can't let that happen!
"Annie." The lost girl concentrated on Armin's voice and tried to stray away from the Female Titan's. She closed her eyes and answered him. "What?"
"Tell me about your previous home." A pause. "Why did you run away?"
She smirked. "I thought we discussed this already. I never did have a home."
She heard him chuckle. "Okay, you're right. But do tell me why you ran away."
Annie let a sigh escape her lips. "It's complicated."
"I'll try my best to understand."
She knew she couldn't escape this. Armin wouldn't let it go; for a weakling he sure was determined. She clutched her sweatshirt in her hands and decided she'd rather deal with this now rather than later.
"My father is a very difficult man. My whole life he trained me to be the strongest, the most powerful, the best of the best. 'A warrior' he liked to call me. Nothing was ever good enough for him and he expected no mistakes. I think he's only tough on me because of my mother's death. She died during childbirth so it's understandable why he would do that to me. I lived when my mother did not so instead of dying, might as well make my life a living hell. He drank too, so sometimes his demands would be more forceful and my punishments hurt a little more." She bit her lip. "That's why I ran away. To escape my father. But I think I'll go back eventually; I learned that no matter where I go, my father is always with me."
Annie didn't realize she was twitching until Armin put his hand on her shoulder blade. "You don't have to continue if this is hard for you," he said softly. "You look like…there's something else inside you."
"There is. And she doesn't like you." The Female Titan growled in fury once Annie started to slowly peel off her disguise.
"She?" His voice was awfully calm and soothing. Wasn't he afraid of her? Didn't she sound crazy, dangerous? Like she deserved to be locked up in a mental hospital?
"She…She follows me wherever I go." She hated the way her voice was beginning to crack. "She's been with me ever since I entered this cruel world. I don't know exactly what she is, but…she talks to me, makes me do horrible things."
Annie couldn't believe she was saying all this but Armin seemed like he really cared what was going on with her. The way he scooted closer to her, the way his warm hand ran up and down her spine. He was trying to comfort her in every way possible…
"What kind of things?"
Her exhale came out in a tremble. "I…I can't. She'll hurt you."
Silence. "Why would she do that?"
"She doesn't want me to get close to you. She thinks you're only nice because you're trying to get information out of me, sell me out and throw me somewhere dark and lonely." Her voice now switched to anger, the Female Titan starting to make her appearance known. "Are you scared of me?"
And then Armin revealed his most gentle, caring, and heartfelt smile. "No."
Her eyes opened and she jolted when she realized just how close Armin really was. He watched her closely, face inches from hers. "I think you're scared of yourself, Annie," he whispered, hot air flowing against her chin. "But you shouldn't be. You're a good person."
Her body froze as she watched Armin with wide eyes as he leaned forward bit by bit. She knew what was going to happen, but at the same time, she didn't. She didn't know how to react, what was the right thing to do in this situation, so she just sat still, feeling Armin's breath against her skin. It was warm, and smelled of peppermint. She observed him slowly closing his eyes and felt his soft lips brush against hers.
It was the first time she had ever been kissed; this included the typical goodnight kisses your parents would give you or the pecks on cheeks close friends would present to you. At first, the touch was so light, she thought she had imagined it all. But then he got a little closer, his lips now fully pressed against her chapped ones. His kiss was curious and cautious, but she could feel him wanting to get closer, to be let in. He gave her one more kiss, his pink lips curving into a slight smile as he pulled away.
"Sorry," he apologized, resting his forehead against hers. "I got a little carried away."
Annie's breathing pattern got a little heavy; she was nervous. Did she respond okay? He didn't point out anything that she did wrong so she guessed it worked out okay. She observed his smile. It seemed real, like he was happy with the results. Never was she ever put into this kind of position; she only knew what to do if someone with a switchblade came forth.
Armin stared at her ajar lips a bit longer before finally closing his eyes, a strange emotion crossing his face. It kind of looked like he was in pain or that something was troubling him. He leaned forward to kiss her again but decided not to at the last second. Instead, she felt the hand that was on her back slid down her arm until it came to rest on her wrist. His other hand touched her other wrist and her body went rigid, knowing what was happening.
"Can you show me your wrists?" Armin asked, eyes still closed, forehead still against hers.
She decided to play dumb. "Why?"
"Because I care deeply about you and want to be sure of something." A moment of silence. "I want to be wrong about something."
He knew, without a doubt. Her heart began beating faster and her hands slowly turned into tight fists. She tried to control her breathing as best she could, to not let him know how much this bothered her. "No."
"Annie, please." His eyebrows furrowed in pain. "Please let me in."
"I can't."
His eyes finally opened; they were sad and pleading. "Will 'she' not let you?"
Annie peered down at Armin's hands and slowly removed them from her. "I…shouldn't have told you that." She stood up. "I should go now."
The boy's eyes widened. "But—" He stopped himself mid-sentence and then sighed heavily. "Okay. A-Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she lied.
She walked to his front door and opened it when she heard Armin spring up from the couch and run over to her. "Can I walk you to where you need to be?"
"No. I'll be fine."
"At least take back my coat." He went to reach for the grey jacket hanging on the rack.
"Armin." He paused and looked at her, worry and fear scribbled along his features. Annie sighed and smirked a little. "You have been more than generous to me and I appreciate everything you're doing. But I have to go somewhere where you can't follow. For now at least."
His hands lowered to his sides, still looking sorrowful. And, without waiting for the Female Titan's permission, Annie leaned forward and placed her lips upon Armin's cheek, which she felt heat up instantly. She pulled away. "I really do like you though."
As if on cue, one of his famous smiles slowly etched up across his face. "Thanks again, Armin. I'll see you soon?"
"Y-Yes. Of course."
When she left his apartment, she waited until she was a block away to begin sprinting deep into the shadows.