Okay, this had to be done. Yep, it had to, sooner or later. I think I might actually come back and make the Supernatural one a two-shot, but that's probably going to require some sort of plot. So for now...you're stuck with crack-y stuff like this. Thanks again to everyone who reviewed, faved, and followed! This is really fun. ^^

Charmed Season - six-ish

Character(s) - Phoebe

Buffy the Vamp Slayer - er, two or three?

Character(s) - Buffy and random nameless vampire

Disclaimer: Neither Charmed nor Buffy The Vampire Slayer belongs to me.

Charmed Meets Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

If Phoebe had known that there was a magical, swirly vortex conveniently hidden behind the dumpster, she wouldn't have tripped. She wouldn't have stumbled in to it, cursing her three-inch heels all the way, and she definitely wouldn't have looked up from the ground to find herself covered in garbage in front of a really cute, pale guy.

Sure, she didn't regret vanquishing a demon in the alley and saving a random, scared innocent – but she had had actual plans for the afternoon, shockingly enough. Plans that didn't directly involve her work, witchy stuff, or her sisters.

"Okay, ew." She said, picking off a particularly greasy burger wrapper from her elbow, where she'd landed on it. Making a face at the grunge she found herself suddenly surrounded by (why couldn't swirly vortex portals ever lead somewhere nice and clean?) she realized that the tall, pale man must've seen the whole, clearly magical thing and probably thought he was crazy now. She glanced up to explain, pushing herself up with her hands.

"Hey, um, guy, person -"

But suddenly he grabbed her by the collar of her new jacket, picked her off the ground and slammed her against the - different - alley wall.

Phoebe saw a glint of...fangs, maybe? Before he lunged for her neck and she felt a sharp pain there. Hey! What the heck was he doing?!

That really stinking hurt! Phoebe though indignantly. More instinctively than on purpose she kneed him in the groin and stomped on his feet, the usual way to free herself from an attacker's grasp - but he acted like he barely felt it. Okay. Fine, then. Right as she summoned her power, shot out of his grip and four feet straight in the air, someone yanked on the guy from behind. Well, not a guy, she supposed he must've been some sort of vampire thing. A girl, maybe sixteen, seventeen, who was extremely petite with blonde hair and a rather pointy wooden thing (stake, Phoebe remembered they were called), was jerking this vampire around like he was made of Styrofoam. The Charmed One watched from her high vantage point, amused, as the blond proceeded to kick the vampire's butt. Then, after making a witty quip at the demon thing's expense, she raised her stake high and sunk it deep into him. Like most other demon vanquishes, the guy screamed and turned to ash on the dirty ground. It was both completely ordinary for Phoebe, and really cool since the girl didn't seem to be a witch. This female was totally awesome.

"Nice job!" She complemented the blond, landing gracefully back on the cement, careful of her heels - and her likely twisted ankle.

The blond whipped around, stake at the ready, and looked at Phoebe with curiosity. The woman willingly raised her hands in surrender.

"Who are you and how did you do that floaty thingy?" The girl asked, approaching with caution.

Phoebe used her best and brightest grin and lowered one of her hands for the girl to shake. Depending on how she introduced herself, she could either be staked in the next minute or make a new friend in the Xena-blond type female.

"Phoebe Halliwell. I'm a witch. B-but don't worry! I'm a good witch!" She hurried to add. Opps.

At this, the blond girl smiled; and the empath was struck by how unbelievably beautiful the fighter was.

"I'm Buffy.." She greeted cheerfully. "I'm um...well, it's obvious but...I'm the vampire slayer."

"Vampire Slayer?" Phoebe echoed. That meant nothing to her - the book had never mentioned such a person.

"Yeah, you know...she who beats up all the bad guys? What, your coven doesn't know about the Slayer? And they live in Sunnydale and everything?" Buffy sounded seriously surprised. What was more shocking to Phoebe was the Xena-girl's comical, embarrassing name and why any sane mother would call her child that. Still, being in a family of unusual 'P' names, she wasn't one to judge. Or laugh. Or accuse the person of giving her a badly thought-up alias.

"Not in a coven, Buffy. Not even from Sunnyville, either. I just came through that," Phoebe pointed very clearly to the portal she's fallen into, a few feet behind them and still a tad hidden behind a dumpster. "And then I found myself getting rescued by you. Thanks, by the way."

"Uh, it's Sunnydale." Buffy corrected, not unkindly. "And sure. No prob. It's you know, my job."

Phoebe understood that.

"Well, as fun as getting bitten by a vampire is," Man, Phoebe hoped he didn't have rabies. "I have a dinner date to prepare for, so, you know.."

The Vampire Slayer frowned at her, and at first the Charmed One thought that Buffy didn't consider her capable of getting a date. Then she said,

"Um, I'm all for romantic dinners, but isn't eight thirty kinda late?"

"What?!" With no hesitation, Phoebe swooped on the girl's wrist and raised her watch to her brown eyes. They widened as the timepiece did show, in fact, that Buffy was correct. Mouth open, Phoebe blinked cluelessly first at the wrist in her hands, then at the vortex behind her, then at the watch again.

"B-but it was four-ish when I left work!" And yet the sky was already darkening, mocking her. She turned to glare at the magical swirl of doom, muttering, "This is all your fault..."

And she was torn between simply going back through the portal to see if time reversed and she ended back up in her alley again, or calling Leo to orb her home. Should she risk falling into some completely different alley maybe half-way across the world?

"You know, that looks kinda hazardous.." Buffy commented as she peered over Phoebe's shoulder. "I should probably do something about it."

If not for stumbling unwillingly through it or finding an innocent near it, Phoebe would've been inclined to ignore said portal. The cleaners could do something useful for a change, couldn't they? Not everything magical had to be fixed by her and her sisters, did it?

Abruptly, Buffy gave the empath a hard stare.

"You didn't make that, did you? With your witchy powers?" She asked accusingly.

Phoebe shook her head animatedly.

"Just fell through it, I promise. Although, I could try a spell to fix it."

"You're not going to go back through it? To...?"

"San Fransisco."

"Oh, hey, that's cool. That's actually really close from here, I think, maybe like an hour."

The brown-haired woman had just known the alley had a stanky, damp California-feel to it. It smelled just like the ones in her city.

"Really? Well if we're close, maybe I'll just drive there. No need to risk ending up across the globe, is there?"

Because magic vortexes really weren't a reliable way to travel. She'd found this out the hard way.
"That's true...Hmm...I should probably tell Giles about this. You could come with me and I could ask my Mom if we could get a bus ticket."

"Aw, that's sweet! But I don't wanna trouble you or anything, I can just call my friend and he'll come get me, no problem."

She hoped Leo wasn't busy with Piper or anything - that would really be awkward.

"You sure?"
"Sure! I can even try to get rid of this thing for yah. Least I can do for saving me and all." Phoebe grinned manically as she flapped a hand at the swirly mass of magic, knowing full well that her on-the-spot-rhymes only had a 50/50 shot of working, at best.

"Um..." What rhymed with portal? Perhaps she was better off trying a Book of Shadows spell instead. I could use Paige's favorite! She thought.

"Let the object of objection become but a dream,

as I cause the scene,

to be unseen," She uttered. She let out a satisfied "Ha!" when the portal on the brick wall next to the dumpster became nothing but brick once more.

It occurred to her that she was being fairly cheerful for someone who'd just missed a promising dinner date. It also occurred to her that she didn't really care. What had his name been, again? Don? Derek? Whatever.

When she looked back to see Buffy's face, the chick who'd totally kicked a vampire's butt was staring at her in new appreciation.

"Witches are cool." She breathed. Phoebe just laughed.

"Wait until you see this..." And opened her mouth to shout for her brother-in-law. Was she showing off? Maybe. Was she having more fun that she'd had in a while? Definitely.

But it wasn't like she had a hot date tonight, or anything.

A/N: Why am I not finishing my essay? It's due to-frickin-morrow and it's not even close to being finished. *Sigh*

Alright I'm sorry if either of the characters talked a little too valley-girlish. I'm tired and for a writer, words are not being my friends right now. Also...Phoebe! She needed some love :) Yeah, when I said the Charmed characters, I meant all the Charmed characters...Or at least all the ones I can write relatively in-character.

This actually seems to be in season six for Charmed, where Phoebe is completely focused on getting her baby girl but is dating everyone in sight to do it. As for Buffy, sometime after Willow became a witch...dunno.

I'm thinking of Smallville next. Thoughts? Requests? Please review and tell me what you think!