Warrior's Angel

Written by Kiriona

Chapter 1

"WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO MEEEEE!!!!" I shrieked as I ran around my bedroom in a panic attack. Once again, my crappy old alarm clock that's older than my grandmother refused to work and once again, I was freaking LATE for school! "Why, why, WHY!!"

I stumbled out of my disaster area bedroom and down stairs all the while still trying to pull my shoes on, shove things into my bag and tie my hair back all at once. Yeah, it wasn't going so well. And of course, I tripped and fell head first into the kitchen, where my mom was waiting.

"Naomi, would it kill you to get up on time once in a while?" she asked me, hands on her hips and I picked myself up and resumed my panic attack.

"It's not my bloody fault that alarm is older than a whale!" I exclaimed, shoving everything into my bag.

"Do you want something to eat before you go?"

"It's a little late for that, don't you think?" I exclaimed, "I'm late! I'll see you when I get home!" With that, I grabbed everything and bolted out the front door.

I completely ignored the screeching brakes and loud cursing of the drivers that I'd darted out in front of in my mad dash to get to school on time. I would've stopped and apologized, but the adrenaline was pumping and the only thing on my mind was what my first period teacher would say if I came in late to class AGAIN. I could see it now.

"Miss Fox, when will you learn that such irresponsibly is unacceptable in this class?" she would rag on, "With so many tardies, it's a wonder you're grade is what it is." I grimaced. I was so sick of being lectured by that old bag by now… I know that back when she was a high school student, when dinosaurs roamed the planet and primitive humans rubbed up against trees the keep the flees off of them, when fire and the wheel were just being discovered, that people had no reason to be late. But in this day and age, us teens have to deal with stupid alarm clocks that like to turn themselves off in the dead of night just to be annoying!!

With an angry huff, I leapt from the sidewalk and started to run again. There was only a few things in this world that didn't annoy me so much, one of them being, of course video games. I could sit for hours on end on my bed, the controller in hand, staring at the TV screen. Mom always tells me that if I spent as much time studying as I do playing games, I would not only be a straight A student, I would be the top of my class. …Like that was ever going to happen, though. I prefer to sit on my lazy bum all night and play my precious Prince of Persia.

Too bad while I was thinking all of that, I didn't see that bus coming…

When I came out of Ga-ga Land and back to the real world, I felt like my head was several sizes too big and that whoever had stuffed this mattress needed to be shot. There were two men standing over me in weird clothes.

"Ugh… did either of you get that guy's license plate?" I groaned.

"…She's delusional," one of them said, "what now?"

"The king said take every maiden we find captive," the other replied. Captive? Were the terrorists attacking? Was the sky falling? Was I dead? Eh, who cares? Sleeeeeepyyyyyyy…

It wasn't until I woke up the second time and found myself chained to a pillar that I realized that something screwy was going on here. From the looks of things, I was on some kind of moving… thingy with three others girls stuck to it like I was, and we were moving across a desert with a whole mess of soldiers around us. It didn't take me very long to recognize exactly what was going on. I had been taken prisoner by a pack of bloody Persians, and--…PERSIANS?! What the crap?!

I looked around frantically for something, anything that would confirm my suspicions. And I'll be damn if I didn't find it. Or rather, him. The second I laid eyes on that oh-so familiar blue tunic and white hat thingy, and that sexy goatee, only one person came to mind, and it sure as hell wasn't Uncle Jack.

I freaked out a little. Ok, a lot. Enough to make the guard on the side of my poke me with his spear and yell at me.

"Ouch! Hey, fight fair, ya lomax!" I shouted. He shoved me again. "Ow! That hurts, you overgrown baboon!" Maybe it would've been smart to have just shut my mouth and been a good girl, but noooo some part of my brain has to intervene and command me to do exactly the opposite of what I should do. He smacked me in the face with the wooden end of the spear and after that, I decided to shut up. Of course, that didn't stop me from making faces at him when his back was turned.

No telling how bloody long I was up there, bored out of my mind with nothing to do except make fun of the meanie guard on the side of me. But of course, after a while, I got bored of that, and was left with nothing to do except wallow in boredom. I eventually got around to singing the Song that Never Ends, but that didn't sit very well with Mr. Cranky Pants, so I had to think of something else to do. I tried doing a little jig, even though I had chains constricting my movements, but Sir Grouchy Butt didn't like that either.

Finally, I started thinking on this whole crazy situation. The last thing I remembered was dashing to school, running across an intersection, hearing a loud horn, seeing a bus at the last second and then BAM. Then I woke up wherever, and now I was here… in Prince of Persia Land, or whatever you want to call it. …I did see the Prince, right? I wasn't just going nuts from the desert heat? I actually saw him when I looked? Right? Right?

I looked again, leaning over and craning my neck to see behind the thingy I was strapped to… but no sign of Princy. No sign of any royalty for that matter. Maybe they all just ran ahead? Ugh… Sighing, I stood back up and sank down as far as my chains would allow. I had been standing all day… and I was tired by now.

"You!" Oh, great, "Stand up!"

"I have a name, Grumpy Grouch-a-lot!" I shot back, "and I don't wanna stand up! I'm tired!" That may have not been the smartest thing to do, but I really was tired!

"Save your crying for someone who cares!" he retorted, poking at me again.

"Ow! Stop that already! It hurts! Don't you understand the word 'Ow'? It means I'm in pain and that you should probably stop!" He opened his big ol' mouth and was about to retort and smack me again, but someone up there finally decided to lend me a hand and a certain someone came to my rescue.

"Is there a problem over here?" The King of Persia interrupted, staring down at the solder from his horse. Whoa. The King. In the flesh. Should I ask for an autograph? I quickly put on a pout.

"I'm tired! But Crabby Bob over here won't let me sit!" I whined, folding my arms and putting on my best weak little girl face.

"Your Majesty, I'm only doing my job! This girl has been tormenting me since we left India, and it is really wearing my patience thin! I, too, am tired, and I don't believe I deserve an attitude from a captive!" Oh, that liar! I'll show him!

"Wait, you kidnap me and then expect me to just stand here and cooperate?!" I cried. "I mean, there I was, just minding my own business out in the middle of I don't even know where, and then boom! Here comes the wanna-be fuzz in their sardine cans, and the next thing I know I'm stuck chained to this stupid, stupid wall thingy!" I turned to the side and 'humphed.' "Besides, you started it!"

"You were the one who began screaming for no reason, you little wretch!"

"No reason?! Of course I had a reason! What kinda idiot just screams for no reason? Oh, wait, that's right, you do."

"What?!"

"Yeah, you just hit me and yelled at me just to show off, didn't you?!"

"It's my job! I don't think I deserve attitude for it!"

"Well maybe if you'd keep your stick to your self and stop hitting me with it, and stop yelling at me every five seconds, I'd leave you be! What are you, so bloody battle starved that you need to smack around a helpless little girl who is stuck to a wall? How stupid!"

"Why you little—"

"Enough!" the King finally interrupted, sounding slightly amused at our quarrel, but just as exasperated, "both of you, stop acting like children. You," he looked at the soldier, "leave the girl to herself. She does have good reason to act in the manner she has been. You, girl," he looked at me, "hold your tongue and conduct yourself as a proper woman. We are almost at our destination."

"Yes, sir," we both moaned, like little kids answering to a parent. But when he turned and road off, I couldn't hold back my grin, and I stuck out my tongue at the soldier.

"Watch it, you, or you'll be without that tongue when we reach Azad." I glared and 'humphed' and folded my arms stubbornly.

The rest of the journey was…interesting, to say the least. I kept coming up with new and improved ways to annoy ol' Groucho Tinbutt down there, and I could tell that he was ready to carve me into little sticky pieces. Too bad he couldn't! Ha! I win!

"On the road again!" I sang out for what could've easily been the thousandth time. The watched and stifled a giggle as Metal Booty ground his teeth tightly, trying to keep himself from killing me. So far, the other girls with me seemed to approve of my defiance, although, they were probably also getting annoyed with my horrid vocal talents. "I just can't wait to get on the road again!" Of course, whenever Princy or some higher up dude road past, I shut my mouth and pretended to look innocent, but as soon as they were gone… "Sing along, everyone!"

I quickly shut up when Cranky McCrankster suddenly shoved the tip of his spear in my face threateningly.

"I swear, if you do not SHUT UP…"

"RAPE!" I shrieked, "RAPE!" He quickly shrunk back when people started staring. Boy, if looks could kill…

If I hadn't been protected by King Sharaman's orders that no maidens were to be harmed under any circumstances, I know he would've killed me on the spot. Scratch that. I would be dead fifty times over. Well, the way I figure it, if I have to stand here and be a prisoner of war, then damn it, I was gonna have as much fun with these guys as possible! "Now," I continued, brushing my now messy sandy blonde hair behind my ear, "you wouldn't wanna hurt little ol' me, now would you?" He just growled. "After all, I'm just a helpless little girl taken prisoner by a pack of warring thugs, and you're a big ol' mean soldier with a big stick!" I tilted my head back, stretching my neck out and sighed. Sure, I was having a ball, but when the hell was Azad planning on showing up? I just wanted to get there already…

Kiri: Welcome one and all to the new and improved (drumbroll) WARRIOR'S ANGEL! Yes, I have, after careful consideration, decided to go back and fix up all my previous chapters of this growing series! This is just the beginning of my editing, but I hope that this will be a nice blast from the past for all of us!

Naomi: WFT?! I'm 16 again!

Prince: You? Look at me! I'm back in my prime! Hmm... so, uh, Naomi... how about it?

Naomi: ... IN YOUR DREAMS!

Prince: Oh come on, it's not like-

Naomi: NO!

Kiri: Ok, Prince, top with the pervertedness. Anyways, I'm off for a good three weeks, so hopefull I'll be able to get some freaking work donw for a change! Woot! Let's all hold hands and pray for my procrastination syndrome to go away! So until the next edit, (singing) So long! Farewell! Untill we meet again...!