Zoro doesn't see his sister as often as he probably should. He sees her every week or every week and a half but she only lives five minutes from the apartment he rents from Nami and he could realistically just live at her place in his old room. You know, if he wanted to be bruised all of the time and also to fail his classes. It's not that he has poor impulse control, it's just that he can't resist trying to beat Kuina at anything and everything.
Maybe that is poor impulse control.
Either way, he can't live with her any more but he still does visit. He knocks on the door and waits for Kuina to open it. He has keys but there was one time he walked in and his sister had a "guest" over and he is never ever EVER repeating that experience again. Thankfully his sister isn't otherwise occupied and answers the door, she pulls it open and lets him in.
"What's in the bag?" She asks him, nodding to the canvas bag and the plastic bag inside it and the one inside that. He needed a decent amount of reinforcement to his bag.
"Chocolate. I figured you might want some of it, or all of it. Please say all of it, you know I don't really like sweet things." He says slightly pleadingly as he finishes taking his shoes off and hands the bag to Kuina.
"Why do you have a bag full of fist sized rocks of chocolate? Oh, there's smaller bits too." Kuina notes, pulling a smaller one out and putting it into her mouth with a pleased hum.
"We had to break it up with hammers, so it's uneven." He answers as they walk into the kitchen and she sets the heavy bag down on the counter.
"Why were you breaking it with hammers?" She asks and puts another part in her mouth.
"Well we were in our transmogrification class and we had to turn tables into trees however we wanted to, I wound mine back into the tree it used to be but Bonney messed up her spell and instead of turning hers into a cacao tree she screwed up and just turned it into a giant solid chocolate table. Knowing Bonney though… I'm not sure it was an accident." Zoro muses, pulling two cups out of the cupboard for them.
He's distracted from that when he hears the sound of something being spat into the sink and when he looks at Kuina she's wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
"You didn't tell me it was magic chocolate." She says disdainfully with stress on the word magic.
"It's not magic chocolate. The teacher checked it before anyone was allowed to eat it, it's perfectly safe." He sighs and sets the cups down.
"I don't want magically made chocolate, it's not natural." Kuina says and opens the fridge, looking for the bottle of sake that's always in there for whenever they meet up together at home.
"You know that chocolate bars don't just grow whole on trees, right?" He snorts and Kuina kicks him in the leg.
"If my tongue turns into a frog or something I'm blaming you." She says firmly and pours their drinks out.
She waits until they're halfway through their first sip before swallowing quickly and asking him the question.
"So how's school?" She asks and Zoro tries hard not to choke.
"It's fine." He answers coolly.
"Only fine?" Kuina asks with an arched eyebrow.
"I'm doing great in all of my classes and I'm in the advanced combat classes and advanced demonology too. Assuming that I don't screw up the practical test next month I'm going to get an A in that. Do you want my whole report card?" He asks her. She wanted that when they were at school. Even though she's only three years older than him she took on a partly parental role to him. Not completely because they were briefly fostered by one of the dojo's other teachers and his family, but she took it upon herself to keep him accountable for being better in everything, including school.
"I would if I knew you had them at this time of year. What's a practical test in demonology?" She asks curiously.
"Summoning a demon. Nothing big and powerful and all of the teachers are there to grade and also help if everything goes wrong, not that it will on my test." He adds quickly.
"Have you ever summoned a demon?" his sister asks curiously.
Zoro panics inside. Robin's brain melting siren powers can lull a person into telling the truth but he's convinced that Kuina can see into his brain. He may as well hold up a big flashing sign with the word lie on it whenever he tries. Diversion is the only escape.
"I have a boyfriend now." He blurts out instead.
Kuina raises an eyebrow and sets her cup down so that she can stare at him more easily.
"Unrelated." She says.
Not really.
"But I'll bite, tell me about your boyfriend. You don't usually bring them up, usually I ask and you confess, so what's different about this one?" Kuina questions him curiously.
That is a long list of things that Zoro could list off about Sanji being different from his previous relationships.
"I like him. It's new… but… I like him a lot." Zoro says and the more he says it the more he realises that it really is true. He thinks about Sanji so much already, he's seeing him tonight actually.
"What's he look like?" Kuina asks him with a devious smile on her face. She's a serious person, fiercely driven and impossibly competitive but most people don't get to see the more playful side to her and the way that she can tease him. He complains about it but he does like it and love her.
"Slightly shorter than me, blonde, blue eyes, glasses but he keeps not wearing them because he's an idiot and thinks they make him look-" Zoro is cut off by Kuina laughing.
"Yeah, you like him alright! I'm glad that you're happy. Does he know that he's never getting laid? And I swear if he tries to pressure you so that he can like the last one did then I'll gut him." She says, her voice going fierce by the end.
"That's really not going to be a problem with him, trust me." Zoro assures her and finishes his drink, putting the empty glass in the sink.
"Oh? Is he not into sex either?" Kuina asks and Zoro bursts out laughing before he can stop himself. He just can't help it, the idea of Sanji of all people not wanting to have sex with anyone is just ludicrous. Sanji has never once complained about his job, aside from telling Zoro about the assholes who try to pull his tail. As far as Zoro can tell Sanji likes what he does.
"You're not being especially reassuring here Zoro." Kuina says flatly and Zoro tries to keep a straight face.
"We've talked about it, he knew all about that limit before we even had a date. He found out when he first met. He's not expecting anything, trust me." He says and Kuina looks a little less sceptical.
"Well… good I guess. As long as you're happy and stay that way, that's the main thing." His sister says in a tone that still carries the implication that should Zoro need her to murder anyone she will.
Happy. Aside from actually spending time with Sanji he can't say that he's felt especially happy or at ease lately. It's not like Sanji's making him unhappy but his existence as the kind of person that he is has ruined Zoro's world view and left him with questions that he doesn't know how to answer. Sanji as a person makes him happy, the fact that Sanji is a demon with feelings, personality and a family makes him ill at ease with his schooling.
"Zoro? You are happy, aren't you? Is everything okay?" Kuina asks gently, reaching out and touching his arm.
"I think I need to drop some subjects at school. Probably change my major and… and everything." Zoro groans, rubbing his hands over his face.
"What? Why? Is the work too much? What's happening?" she asks, worry clear on her face. Damnit, Zoro didn't want to worry her. She's already done enough for him in his life, the last thing that he should be doing in concerning her.
"No, it's not the workload. It's just…" Zoro trails off, trying to find some way to explain his sudden ethical dilemma without outing Sanji as a demon.
"You've met Brook, remember?" Zoro says, hoping that this will make sense.
"The gigantic creepy skeleton? Yeah, he's hard to forget." Kuina says with a snort.
"He's not creepy, and technically he's a lich not a skeleton." Zoro protests.
"He asked to see my panties." His sister says flatly and Zoro is fleetingly impressed that Brook is still in one piece.
"Fine, that's not the kind of creepy I was defending him from though. He's not sinister and evil was what I meant. But he's had plenty of witches trained like I am trying to kill him. Not recently of course because people are starting to get that the litch are just like anyone else, some of them are good and some of them aren't." Zoro says.
"All of my schooling… my demonology stuff and a bunch of my other classes are convinced that there are plenty of kinds of people out there who are universally evil and they're training us to kill them. I don't want to murder people for a living and be the kind of person that shows up in a history book and people look at me as a monster for killing innocent people. That's what's going to happen if I keep doing what I'm doing." Zoro insists. He really doesn't want to be a demon hunter, like the kind who killed Sanji's family. He doesn't want there to be people like Sanji whose lives are ruined because of him. He knows how that feels like after having half of his own family taken from him.
"It sounds like you've already made up your mind." Kuina notes and Zoro looks at her to see if there's a trace of disappointment on her face but he can't see any.
"Think it over until the end of term, go talk to your advisors and see what you'd need to do to switch. You need to know what you're switching to Zoro, you can't just go 'not this' and expect that to work. You're probably going to take longer to graduate too." She warns him. Zoro nods, he'd thought of all that already.
"Well then, I'm not going to stop you. Taking a hard look at your ethics isn't easy and you don't make these decisions lightly. Whatever you decide I've got your back." She says firmly.
"Thanks." Zoro nods and Kuina puts her finished glass in the sink too.
"Well, enough of that. Want to fight?" She asks with a devious grin.
"YES." Zoro agrees emphatically and races her to the main training room in the dojo.
The fight is, as with all of theirs, an utter defeat on his part. It's not even like he's not getting better, she just improves faster than him and it feels as if he'll never catch up. He'd spend all of his time training to beat her if he didn't have schoolwork and even then then temptation is high, this is why he can't live with her.
After their battle she walks him home. Although more accurately it could be said that he leads the way, following the arrow on his hand towards his home.
"You know I could get you one of these too, I'm working on breaking the curse but it does help." Zoro suggests, though it's not the first time he's suggested this by any means.
Kuina tuts and shakes her head at his words.
"I don't need that, my sense of direction is stronger than yours. Some puny curse won't affect me. I don't need any magic." She huffs indignantly.
"Your sense of direction is at least as bad as mine!" Zoro accuses her.
"Not a chance. See, you're home safe and sound. I'll see you soon, tell me if anything happens with school okay?" Kuina says, stepping ahead so that she can turn to face him. She pulls him into a hug and kisses his cheek. Neither of them are massively affectionate people but they both know how easy it is to lose family and how much every missed opportunity hurts afterwards. It's not as if they deliberately always say goodbye as if it might be goodbye forever but they do their best to never leave things with words they'll regret if it was.
On the matter of regretted words Zoro hears the first few letters of his name called out and then die in the air. He pulls back from his sister to see a wide eyed Sanji looking from him to Kuina and back again in alarm. Shit, he can't let them meet!
"Okay, you need to go now, bye!" Zoro insists, spinning Kuina around the other way and giving her a good shove.
"Zoro, who is this?" Sanji asks slowly and though the hat and coat that Sanji is wearing covers his tail and horns Zoro can still see Sanji's sharp teeth and knows full well that his sister can work out in a flash that Sanji isn't human. Even if she can't work out what Sanji is she's going to be curious.
"Zoro! Did you leave your manners back in the dojo or do I need to smack some more into you?" Kuina snaps at him and shoves a thumb into one of Zoro's rapidly forming bruises from their spar.
"Oi!" He protests, jerking back from her because she is in no way above doing that again.
"I apologise for my brother's rudeness, I'm Kuina." She says, holding out her hand.
"Oh, you're his sister. I'm… Duval. He's mentioned you before." Sanji says, pulling that fake name out of who knows where. Though Zoro knows why he's done it, he's hardly going to go giving out his true name to anyone who happens to ask. He shakes Kuina's hand pleasantly.
"I've heard about you too, it's not often Zoro talks to me about his boyfriends." She smiles and Sanji's face lights up like the sun and he can just tell that Kuina has already won her way into Sanji's good books.
"Yeah I wonder why." Zoro mutters irritably.
"So, where do you live Duval?" Kuina asks pleasantly and Zoro is torn between wishing that the earth would open up and swallow him whole and wishing it would swallow her up.
"Oh I live… down south from here." Sanji says in a voice that sounds far more innocent than a man who lives in hell has any right to have.
"Well I'm so glad you two met. Kuina shouldn't you be going home and why are you here already Duval?" Zoro asks pointedly and tries to shoo Kuina away.
"I was in the area for work, I thought it made more sense for me to come sooner than go all the way home and then back." Sanji answers with a shrug and Zoro doesn't want to press him for more details on his work in front of Kuina.
"Great, well if you're done interrogating him then you can go now. I really don't want you trying to scare him off." Zoro says to her but she shakes her head.
"I'm just taking an interest in the people you care about, I've met all of your friends so why shouldn't I meet your boyfriend?" Kuina asks him.
"Because the last one that you decided that you didn't like you threatened to cut his legs off!" he exclaims angrily. He'd had to find out about that one after the fact when his ex told a whole bunch of people about Zoro's supposedly "crazy sister". He'd been pissed off at her for doing it and furious at his ex for insulting his sister. Not that Kuina had any sympathy, she considered it more proof of his unsuitability for Zoro.
"He kept trying to get you to agree to sleep with him." Kuina says in a tone that suggests that particular ex will never be forgiven or forgotten.
"What? Do you have a name or address for this guy because I feel like I want-" Sanji says in a growl and Zoro turns to face him angrily.
"No! No one is doing anything to my ex, I don't care about him anymore!" Zoro shouts and realises that other people on the street are looking at them as they pass by.
Sanji looks horrified and panicked, like he's done something terrible. His hands freeze midway between the pair of them as if he wants to pull Zoro close to him or reassure him somehow. Either way he thinks better of it.
"Hey, no, I didn't mean- I wouldn't if you told me not to. I'm sorry." Sanji apologises quickly and Zoro feels his resolve weaken. Damnit, Sanji's a demon and he's not had a relationship before so Zoro can't expect him to be completely tactful with human things like this. Besides Sanji wouldn't apologise and not mean it. He sighs and looks at the stupid demon that he is becoming increasingly more fond of each time he sees him.
"It's fine, just… don't murder or maim a guy just for being an asshole." Zoro sighs and runs his hands through his hair.
"Promise!" Sanji says brightly and Zoro catches Kuina looking from one of them to the other with a curious smile on her face.
"So… Duval. You said that you were working just now, what do you do for a living? I'd assumed that you went to school with Zoro." Kuina says curiously and Zoro's brain drops from soothed straight into panic.
"Kuina!" He balks in horror. He can't have Sanji lie about what he does, Kuina has a fine tuned bullshit detector and frankly Zoro is impressed that Sanji got away with a fake name.
"What's the big deal? It's a simple question Zoro." Kuina argues back and then she narrows her eyes at him, she's sensed his unease and now he's doomed. It's like throwing blood in the water with sharks.
"Unless there's something that you don't want me to know." She says slowly, her eyes laser focused on his face.
"You're being rude, you can't just demand information like that from people you just met." Zoro says, evading her question and trying to get her to back off.
"There IS something you don't want me to know!" She declares and sweat breaks out on the back of Zoro's neck.
"You're jumping to conclusions." He insists and tries to resist grabbing for his sword in case his sister tries to spar an answer out of him with the logic that he can't lie and defend himself at the same time.
"I have sex with people, that's my job." Sanji says and both Zoro and Kuina stare at him. Sanji looks… mostly relaxed about having said that. Zoro tries not to scream in frustration, Kuina is never going to let this go and Zoro can't see her approving either!
"Like… porn?" Kuina asks in shock.
"Ah, no. But… I suppose I could branch out maybe. Hm." Sanji hums thoughtfully and rubs his little goatee like they're all just discussing the weather and not the fact that he fucks people for a living, though at least he left out the soul stealing part.
"So you're a… is sex worker the right word?" Kuina asks in complete shock.
"That seems like a pretty accurate term for it, yeah." Sanji says with a shrug. How the hell is he so calm about this?
Kuina looks from Sanji to him and back again. All Zoro can do is prepare for whatever her reaction is and he's really not looking forward to it.
"That… I can actually see how that'd work. You still get laid and neither of you has to compromise anything." Kuina remarks thoughtfully.
"I'd never try to get Zoro to do something he didn't want to. Unless it was, I don't know, homework or something." Sanji laughs brightly and Kuina's smile goes Cheshire cat wide.
"Oh, I like him. Okay, I'm not going to intrude any more. You two were supposed to be having a date right? I'll see you soon Zoro, call me if you want to talk about school stuff." Kuina says brightly and kisses Zoro's cheek.
"Yeah, yeah." He grumbles irritably.
"It was lovely meeting you!" Sanji chirps happily and waves at her.
"You too. We should have dinner sometime. Bye Zoro, love you." Kuina waves as she walks off.
"Love you. You're walking the wrong way by the way!" He shouts after her. Kuina turns and walks the other way, flipping him off as she goes past.
"Suddenly the family resemblance is crystal clear." Sanji snickers.
"Shut up." Zoro grumbles and moves past him, unlocking his building and going up the stairs. He unlocks his front door and shoulders it open, abandoning his keys on the table by the door and throwing his bag full of chocolate chunks on the table.
He is tired and his body is sore and he had counted on being able to have a shower and a nap before Sanji got here and he hadn't expected an interrogation.
"Zoro? Have… I done something wrong?" Sanji asks warily and Zoro turns to look at him. Sanji's tail is now unravelled and free and the end is flicking nervously.
"No, I just didn't plan on any of that happening." Zoro sighs and heads to his bathroom. He hears Sanji follow him after a moment.
"Should I not have said what I did?" Sanji asks warily.
"I don't know. I can tell you that lying to my sister is a really good way to get into her bad books and you're dating her younger brother, she already distrusts you from that. Though I think she actually likes you now, anyone that honest and that ready to maim my exes is probably okay in her books." Zoro says and bats the shower on, trying to pull his arm out from under the shower head before it turns on and gets his arm wet.
"Well that's good right? I mean it's supposed to be a big step when your boyfriend's family likes you isn't it?" Sanji says from the doorway. Zoro sits on the thankfully closed toilet and undoes his boots and starts to pull them off.
"Yeah, sure, it's good. I'm glad she likes you. It's a good sign for me at least that she likes you that's for sure." Zoro says and drops a boot on the floor before starting on the next.
"Why is it good for you?" Sanji asks warily, the end of his tail going in anxious little back and forth flicks.
"Well no one I've ever dated that she hated was any good for me and if she hated you I'd never hear the end of her talking shit about you. As it is now I'm probably just going to get asked half a million questions about you and you'll get invited places." he responds and drops his other boot on the floor.
"I'd like that. But... you still don't look happy. What did I do?" Sanji asks again, coming into the room properly this time. Zoro looks up at Sanji in bafflement and sees the incubus anxiously gnawing on his own lip and he has to remind himself again, demon in a first relationship.
"No, Sanji it's not you it's just... school shit. Ethical stuff as well I guess. I've thought about it enough today already because I had to explain it all to my sister and she's really intense about school stuff, I hate letting her down or doing anything like that." he explains gently and the worry lifts from Sanji as the words sink in.
"Family expectations and drama huh? I can relate. My old man can be a stubborn old mule but he's got my back. Your sister clearly loves you so whatever it is I'm sure it'll be fine." Sanji tells him a little awkwardly but still earnestly.
Now it's Zoro's turn to feel like a weight has been lifted. Kuina was supportive and knowing that makes him less stressed. She gave him a plan and he'll work on that and Sanji would obviously be in favour of Zoro moving out of demon hunting. The only people with a problem now are either teachers who were invested in the idea of him being a hunter who'll just have to deal with it and Zoro's friends who also just want the best for him. At worst Robin might cluck her tongue at him for not choosing his classes more carefully in the first place but she'd be proud of him for doing the self examination that led to his change in the first place so it'll even out.
"Thanks Sanji, it helps. I'm ah... gonna have a shower real quick. I was sparring with my sister and you probably don't want to be up close to me right now." Zoro says and stands up, pulling off his shirt as he does so.
"Oh yeah, sweaty men in states of undress, that's completely new to me. I'll go faint on your couch. How could you expose me to this?" Sanji says in the most sarcastic tone that Zoro has ever heard in his entire life.
"Get lost, go make yourself a drink or something and get out, asshole." Zoro growls and shoves Sanji out of the bathroom.
Zoro removes the last of his clothes and steps into the shower, letting the hot water do its wonderful thing to aching muscles and sore spots that will no doubt bruise up into yet more evidence of his latest defeat. He can feel a part of his brain gnawing on the school problem though still and no matter how many times he tries to reassure himself that he can start solving this problem tomorrow it won't go away and quit pestering his brain. He needs to turn it off, he's got Sanji over so he should really focus on him. He's his boyfriend after all.
He stills a little under the spray and he can feel a slow smile creeping over his face. Sanji is his boyfriend, who makes him happy and who Kuina approves of. When he's worked this school stuff out he really needs to ease his friends into meeting Sanji. They're the only people who might have a real problem with it, they've all been taught the same things about demons that Zoro has. The same wrong things.
Maybe he can get them to meet Sanji first and see him as a person and then tell them the truth about him. It's not honest but it gives Sanji a better chance with them. They've got to like him as much as Zoro does, right? How could they not?
Zoro is starting to suspect that he's got a stupid grin on his face just from thinking about Sanji, but that would be way more sappy than he's prepared to admit to being so he's just going to shake it off and get dried off.
With a towel around his waist Zoro makes the short trek from his bathroom to his bedroom. Sanji is leaning against the kitchen counter, peering in the bag that Zoro threw there as he entered his place.
"What is this?" Sanji asks curiously, barely looking at Zoro who is wearing no more than a towel. Zoro has to remind himself that, oh yeah, incubus. Sanji has probably seen more naked people than Zoro will ever meet clothed people. Zoro nearly naked is hardly going to be revolutionary to Sanji.
"Oh, chocolate. There was a magical accident in class and the end of the story is we all got sent home with a tonne of the stuff just to get rid of it. I was trying to give it to Kuina but she wouldn't touch it. Help yourself, I don't really like sweet things." He offers and goes into his room. He hears a thanks from Sanji but mostly ignores it as he gets dressed. It'd be pointless to compete with Sanji's honed fashion sense so Zoro just throws on whatever is clean or clean enough that it passes a sniff test.
As he is pulling a hoodie on though he is halted by a... a sound from the other room. If Zoro isn't much mistake it almost sounds like something from... porn. What the hell?
Zoro goes out into the main room and sees Sanji all but slumped over the kitchen counter. His tail is flicking from excited little back and forth flicks to wide lazy and happy swipes, his eyes are half lidded, his face a picture of bliss and Zoro can even hear the happy little sigh coming from his lips.
"What... are you doing?" Zoro asks warily, tugging his hoodie down.
Sanji looks over and Zoro could almost roll his eyes at the cliché that Sanji paints. Zoro isn't in the habit of watching porn, finding it either gross, boring or weird depending on the type. But he still does watch regular movies and use the internet, he's aware that Sanji looks every bit the stereotypical love interest caught in a compromising position. Given that Sanji is an incubus Zoro isn't completely surprised but it still doesn't explain what's made him act that way, it's hardly like Sanji is trying to seduce him.
"Have you tried this stuff? It's... it's amazing." Sanji enthuses and points to the bag of chocolate.
"I tried a bit before offering it to Kuina, I wanted to see if it had any weird flavour." Zoro says and walks closer. Is the chocolate odd or was there really some undetected magic floating around?
"It's amazing, literally the best thing I have ever put in my mouth." Sanji says and takes another piece and groans obscenely when it touches his tongue.
Warily Zoro takes a small chunk for himself. It melts on his tongue and tastes... well, pleasant but a little too sweet for him. It's just chocolate. Decent quality chocolate but still just chocolate.
"It's just chocolate, it's not that good. Haven't you ever had it before?" he asks in confusion.
"No! Shit, if I could eat this stuff whenever I wanted I'd eat nothing else. This is... this might actually be better than sex." Sanji says wistfully and sucks the ends of his fingers where the chocolate had melted slightly. That kind of sight would probably doom lots of people into selling their soul, yet again though Zoro is safe.
"Well I guess that answers that old question. Sex and chocolate also share the quality of me not being interested in either. You're welcome to take the bag with you if you like." He offers and Sanji's eyes go wide.
"Are you serious? All of this? You don't want any at all? It's so GOOD!" Sanji gasps and clutches the bag close to his chest like the over dramatic idiot that he is.
"Yes, really." Zoro says with a smile because Sanji just became infinitely easier to shop for whenever he has to get him a gift.
"You're the best." Sanji whispers intensely.
"Hm, I have a way you could pay me back if you really wanted. I was going to ask you anyway but anything to secure your help would be good." Zoro says.
"I don't think you've ever asked me for help, except for looking at your curse. What is it you've got in mind?" the demon says with curiosity shining in his eyes.
"Well, it's magical again. It's not homework or anything it's just reversal spells. I try to never fuck up in the first place and that way I never need them but a sort of friend of mine really screwed up a spell in class today and it made me realise that I should practice fixing my own mistakes. I'm not allowed to do serious magic in the building and the high magic buildings at school are always booked up for ages and the PhD students always get first pick on it. It's not fair but it stops over tired PhD students summoning in their homes and setting loose a pack of hellhounds or the student who accidentally turned all of the birds in the block inside out." Zoro explains with a sigh. Usually he'd just bribe Robin or Franky to secure him and place seeing a Robin is working on her thesis for historical magic spells and Franky is an engineering postgrad in experimental magic machinery.
"You're thinking of working on this on your planet? No one around but me to hurt and let's face it, it's hard to hurt me. I can help, come on." Sanji offers, holding out his hand. Thankfully it's the hand that he's not been licking chocolate from.
"Let me grab my bag." Zoro says quickly and darts off to grab his school bag and of course his sword. He checks that he's got all of his basic magic supplies in his backpack and wasn't running low. He stuffs in a summoning textbook and bottle of water while he's at it and then goes back to Sanji. The blond smiles at him with fangs on display holds out his hand.
Zoro takes Sanji's hand and feels the plummeting sensation as they drop through the floor of his home and the burning midsummer day scorching heat of hell before Sanji teleports them further and out again onto Zoro's planet.
Zoro breathes in the clean early evening air, he must be on the same part of the planet roughly that Sanji put him at before as it's always in the same time of day. He assumes so anyway. Looking around he is greeted again by the bright red foliage of the trees and their sooty black bark. This time though they're at the water's edge, a rocky and flat surface of what looks to be a great lake. In the distance Zoro can only just see the opposite shore.
"You know... I want to get that water tested, see if it's safe to swim in and drink. If it is then we should go swimming some day, or magic a boat together and explore more." Zoro says, thinking aloud. Sanji's hand squeezes his in response and Zoro realises that he didn't let Sanji go after they teleported.
"I'm all for you exploring without dying." Sanji teases and Zoro lets go on his hand to shove him lightly.
"Alright, so... magic." Zoro begins. He sets his bag down on the floor and pulls his wand and one of his textbooks free.
"I keep forgetting that you have a wand, I've never actually seen you use it." Sanji remarks thoughtfully and looks and looks at the eight inch long black wood wand that is Zoro's own.
"I don't really like wand magic, give me runes and summoning circles any day." Zoro sighs and looks at it. He always just feels a touch silly when he's waving the thing around. Nami on the other hand adores hers and only switches it out if she really has to or if she can upgrade to her giant overly elaborate staff.
"Demons don't ever have them, it's weird seeing how it changes your magical aura though." Sanji remarks and tilts his head a little as he looks at Zoro.
"You can see that kind of thing huh? Well, all the same I'd prefer not to use it but the point of this is working on my weaknesses so I should stick with this." Zoro explains and starts sketching out some medium size magical containment circles which Sanji steps into before Zoro closes it. That's a smart move, there wouldn't be all that much Sanji could do to help if something goes wrong and he's stuck on the wrong side of the circle.
"So, this is the kind of thing I mean." Zoro says and bends down to pick a rock up off of the floor. He enchants the rock and transforms it from a rock to a long white swan feather. He remembers when he first started formal magic training that this kind of stuff was so hard and now it's an easy example.
"If I wanted to undo that spell normally I'd just do this." Zoro explains and performs his spell.
"I don't want to piss on your dreams here, but since you were talking about undo spells earlier I feel like I should point out that you didn't turn that back into a rock. You turned that feather into a different rock." Sanji says as he looks at the rock in Zoro's palm.
"Yeah, I know. Most of the time it doesn't matter though and I've got really good at mimicking the thing it was before but..." Zoro trails off with a shrug.
"But it doesn't work all of the time and then when you need it you can't do it." Sanji finishes for him.
"Exactly." he agrees.
Sanji seems to consider this for a moment or two, his eyes flicking between the stone and Zoro and back again.
"Show me you trying to undo it." the demon says and Zoro nods.
He focuses on the pebble in his hand, previously a feather and previous to that a different rock. He can do this, he can. He recalls the right spell and wand motion and executes it calmly.
"Resolvo." Zoro recites clearly.
The small rock in his hand abruptly explodes into a far larger amount of sand that trickles out between his fingers and onto the ground below.
"Shit, that was the wrong kind of undo." Zoro groans.
"What was that, Latin? Did you go for something that also means disassemble or something?" Sanji asks, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Basically. You see my problem." he says and shakes the sand off of his hand. His undo spells don't always go wrong but often they do for stupid reasons like this. If he doesn't pick exactly the right form of the word then the spell latches onto an alternate meaning in the magical equivalent of autocorrect and launches off into something entirely unwanted.
"Well, I know shit about Latin so I can't help you there." the blond says with a single shouldered shrug.
"I thought you were going to help me." Zoro grumbles bitterly. He deliberately doesn't say something stupid like 'I thought demons took deals seriously' because aside from being insensitive about demons he wouldn't be alive if Sanji had held to every deal involving him. Besides, demons are loyal to their deals within a given value of loyal. Half of the preparation for summoning demons is going over proper terminology, loopholes, contracts and such. Demons will hold to a bargain but they're keen to strangle a person with their own words.
Best not to bring it up at all.
"I will. I'll teach you the spell that we use. It's just... you might not want to use it in earshot of other people and teaching it can be a little intense." Sanji says warily but Zoro isn't going to let a little danger dissuade him is he?
"I can handle it!" He declares fiercely and Sanji smiles his pointed toothed smile.
The incubus steps a little closer to him softly touches his smooth hands to either side of Zoro's face, stroking his cheeks and then settling on his jaw. Sanji leans in and kisses him, more insistent than he usually does but Zoro lets him. He doesn't see how this is helping until Sanji's tongue runs along his own and Zoro feels like the ground falls out from beneath him. His ears pop suddenly and his tongue feels like he just ate an entire bag of fizzing candy in one go. Words whisper through his brain and stick like gum.
Sanji pulls back and Zoro actually has to work his jaw a few times before his ears will pop again and stop making that irritating rushing sound like water. He feels a little unsteady on his feet and Sanji is watching him warily as if he suspects he might fall.
"Sorry, it's pretty direct." Sanji apologises awkwardly.
"And what exactly was that supposed to be? You've kissed me plenty before and it never did that. You've never given me a warning with it." Zoro says, rubbing his mouth. His lips feel tingly.
"I gave you a bit of demon tongue." Sanji explains, his face going pink.
"More than 'a bit'! Were you trying to lick my tonsils or something?" Zoro laughs and Sanji is now tomato coloured.
"I meant the language, asshole! My native language, that's what it's called. It's the easiest way I could think to transfer just one part of it. You know the undo spell that we use now, so use it." Sanji snaps, his tail flapping about in embarrassed agitation.
Zoro could keep teasing Sanji but he genuinely does want to see if that weird kiss did anything. He raises his wand again and looks down at the scattering of sand on the rocks at their feet. This feels impossible and he can't even recall the word that Sanji whispered into his brain, it was just-
The word is already coming out of his mouth. Something sibilant and with letters that he doesn't know and couldn't even write down. Below him sand flows towards a single point, running in uphill rivulets until it forms into a rock again with all of the unnatural grace of a rewinding video. He can feel the spell before him, tangible and strangely warm like no other magic he knows. He holds tight on it and the rock morphs back into a long white feather and then once more into a rock.
Zoro drops the spell whose words skitter out of the way of his conscious mind like cockroaches in daylight. It'll presumably hide away in his brain without his understanding until he needs it again.
"That was... amazing." He says in awe.
"Well, you're pretty magically skilled for a plant haired human." Sanji mutters, looking away. His face is still pink and his freckles are dark against the skin there. Zoro wants to kiss him without any magic this time and so he does. Sanji makes this startled and pleased noise into Zoro's mouth when he kisses him, like he still can't believe that this whole thing is happening. In part Zoro can't believe it either but he is so viciously happy that he won't let any of this pass him by.
"You're not so bad either." Zoro says a little breathlessly after and Sanji smiles sharply and kicks him in the knee.
Yeah, it's no wonder that Kuina likes him.