" If I'm Not The Best Then You're Stuck, I Ended Up With Wounds To Bind Like You're Pouring Salt In My Cuts. I Just Ran Out Of Band-Aids, I Don't Even Know Where To Start, 'Cause You Can't Bandage The Damage .. You Never Really Can Fix A Heart." - Demi Lovato; Fix A Heart

I waved my father off as I stepped up the porch with chipping white paint; he returned it with a tired smile and reversed in his cop car, driving back down the mud filled road to most likely head to work. I ran a hand through my now fully short hair, thanks to my left side only reaching to my ear, I had to get the other side cut just as shortly, but added quite a long side bang to it to keep it funky. At first I completely balled my eyes out at the hair dresses when I realised how horrible it now looked, but my mother and the hairdresser had insisted I looked great, which was hard to believe.

Crying all the way home in the car my mother gushed about how I looked like some girl off a random TV show called '90210', which itself sounded ridiculous, it wasn't until she made me watch it that I noticed the girls hair, and the girls name just happened to be Silver. How ironic. Just because some random overly beautiful girl off a TV show about rich high school kids could pull it off, didn't mean that I could, so I decided that I would continue to be moody about it.

I hadn't seen Jacob since my hair cut, which had made me overly nervous about whether he would like it, and I was hoping he did. Not that I understood why, it wasn't as if we were anything like that, in fact it wasn't as if we were anything at all, the term 'friend' seemed very lose to me when I used it with Jacob. Not because I didn't want him to be, but because I didn't actually know anything about him, when we were together, which was for almost 24 hours a day, he would be concentrating on me, asking me if I was okay, carrying me everywhere, talking about how I needed to slow down on things, not that he even gave me a chance to speed up. As much as I liked it, I wanted to know him; I wanted to know Jacob Black, and just why he was so amazing patient with me.

Which is why I was here, standing outside his adorable little red house, huffing softly as I felt no spark of familiarity about the place. A small set of photo albums was carried in my left arm, pulling on my black jacket and shuffling my feet around nervously I eventually knocked on the door. Rocking back and forth in my Vans as I waited patiently on the porch, shivering slightly as the cold wind picked up, I really should have put more layers on other than a white polo shirt, and looking up to the greying skies I could tell we were going to have some rain, not that I could expect any less in La Push. I felt a soft spit of rain touch my tanned face, and I closed my eyes and leaned my head up towards the sky, allowing a few more drops to fall on me, it felt as if I hadn't felt rain fall in so long, and just smelling it was refreshing.

I snapped my head back to the door when it was opened, and I was greeted by the sight of a much older version of Jacob, I looked down to the man in the wheel chair, an aged sympathetic smile adorned his face as he realized who was at the door, his long black hair was in a loose pony tail that hung over his shoulder, and his dark brown eyes seemed to almost be as captivating as Jacob's, almost.

"Silver, it's been so long."

I awkwardly smiled at him, not really knowing what to say, the only other thing I could say was my name, but he already knew that, so I waited patiently for him to invite me in. Which he did rather quickly, seeming to be embarrassed for his staring, and did a sort of reverse in his chair before motioning me to come inside with his hand, and I thanked him quietly as I walked through the door, welcoming the warmth.

I looked around his small kitchen, taking in the fridge that had family photos of Jacob and two other girls, and from the striking resemblances I took the wild guess of them being his sisters. Moving my eyes to the small round dining table centred in the kitchen, a steaming cup of coffee sat there, with a plate of biscuits beside it.

Jacob's father cleared his throat, and I looked back to him smiling, "I'm sorry I forgot about the uhh," he used his hand to wave it around his head, and I nodded in understanding, "memory loss thing, I'm Jacob's father Billy."

"It's nice to meet you ... Again." He released a tight smile at my attempt to lighten the mood, and wheeled his way over to the table, beckoning me over to sit across from him.

"How have you been Silver? I haven't seen you since I came to visit, and back then you-"

"-were in a coma. It's okay I've heard it before, and thank you for visiting me." I shrugged my shoulders as I cut him off, tired of people being so apologetic over something so ridiculously small.

He let out a good natured chuckle, smiling fondly at me before speaking once more, "you still have your old spark girl."

I wish I knew what he meant, that way I probably would have joined in with his laughing, instead I let out a soft smile, and looked around the place to see if there was any sign of Jacob. I assumed he would be here, seeing as he hadn't been with me, it felt like a routine now, normal even, he would show up early spend the entire day with me, hold me till I fell asleep, and the same cycle would happen for the next day. It was the only routine I had known for the past two weeks since leaving the hospital, I didn't have anything else to occupy me, school was out of the question seeing as I couldn't remember anything I had learnt in the past four years, god I hope my memories come back soon.

"Do you know where Jacob is?" Billy looked down at the table, avoiding eye contact with me, and eyed him suspiciously before he spoke in a quite and unconvincing tone.

"He just had some things to do today, but stick around and he'll be back in no time."

Seriously? I may have hit my head extremely hard and cracked my skull open, but I wasn't retarded, even I could tell he was lying, and I didn't even know the man, but because of that one fact I played along, pretending to fully believe him and nod my head. An awkward silence passed over us as he quietly sipped on his coffee, and I attempted to subtle itch my back, which was very difficult seeing as the back brace was under my shirt, I absolutely could not wait to get rid of this thing.

God, if this was how quite and awkward it would be with every old friend I would meet, then I might as well just hide at home and save myself the pain and embarrassment.

"You know Silver, ever since you and Jacob had met you were inseparable, he adored you."

An unknown smile swept across my face as I looked up to connect eyes with Billy, he seemed so sincere when he said it, so fully content, yet there was something else, some sort of deeper meaning.

"I just- I just want you to remember I said that when you're memories come back."

Well thanks Billy that certainly made a lot of sense, a long with a load of other confusing lines people have sent my way. I should just expect a new dent in my head soon with all the questions and thoughts that are crammed into there, I'm pretty sure no one could take on this much stress inside their head, even though technically mine was sort of empty, it terms of memories.

The only logical thing that could make sense is that maybe Jacob and I weren't on the best of terms before I had my accident, maybe we had an argument or something and hadn't spoken, and maybe that's why he felt like he had to always be around because he felt guilty. God, the amount of questions I ask myself over one little sentence is ridiculous, I should just do what Doctor Cullen said and be patient, my mind will tell me when I'm ready.

"What was my friendship with him like? And well … with the way he acts towards me it feels a bit," my face flushed an unbelievable colour of red, but it was a question I knew Jacob would never answer, " intimate, were we a couple towards the end or?"

Billy himself seemed uncomfortable by my question, and let out a strained cough before looking down at his cup of coffee and speaking once more, "You and Jacob had a very light hearted friendship, you constantly fought and bickered but you both found it so highly amusing, and you understood him like no other person could, I'm pretty sure he even called you his own Oprah Winfrey at times … and as for your second question, I think that is one that should be directed towards Jacob."

I can't really blame him, I wouldn't want to talk about my son's relationship or love life issues with a girl who had lost her memory either, it was uncomfortable, but he had answered at least my first question, so I was half happy.

Silence soon engulfed us, and I failed to find it awkward, mostly because we both didn't know what else to say, and decided to settle into a comfortable silence. I kept looking to the clock that was situated above the fridge behind Billy, wondering just how long it would take for Jacob to come back and my leg constantly shook up and down anxiously. Minutes felt like hours when I was away from him, it at some points physically hurt when I had to part from Jacob, which is kind of pathetic now that I really have time to think about it, no one should be that dependant on someone, especially if you barely know them.

I couldn't bring myself to try and fight it though, I needed Jacob there with me all the time, and if he wasn't there it was like trying to breath without oxygen. God, I sounded so melodramatic, a stereotypical whipped teenager, and yet I wasn't even in a relationship, if I behaved anything like this before my accident then I really needed to re-evaluate myself.

Not thirty minutes had gone past when someone bounded through the door, and my heart only leapt for the briefest moment as I craned my head to see who it was. I couldn't even attempt to stop the grin that spread across my face, or the constant flips in my stomach that occurred when my eyes connected with the bronze skinned beauty at the door. His raven hair was dishevelled, as if he had constantly been running his hands through it, his grey t shirt was creased and a tired smile adorned his face, yet at that moment I couldn't find him more beautiful.

We held eye contact for merely seconds before a small frame pushed past him at the door, and suddenly I couldn't help but take my eyes away from the pale skinned girl.

To say that I was jealous of her close proximity between her and Jacob would be an understatement, and she made no indication that she would move either. She stood in front of him, smiling happily with her beautiful lips to Billy, greeting him with a voice that sounded like a beautiful melody.

"It's good to see you again Bella."

Billy's response was some what stiff, I suddenly realized just how awkward the room was for some unknown reason, and turned back to Jacob, who now seemed to find the floor a very interesting thing to look at. Bella, which I assumed her name, was, made no indication to greet me, she just stared at me with a hard gaze, using those insanely beautiful hazel eyes, and I stared back, wondering why on earth she would treat me with such animosity.

It didn't take a genius to guess that we probably didn't like each other when I was the old me, and I was beginning to understand why. Her protective and stiff posture in front of Jacob was enough to tell me that, and although I only just came out of a coma, I wasn't about to let some pale skinned overly beautiful freak intimidate me.

She was dressed in normal attire, yet it seemed to look so overly classy and sophisticated on her, which is quite a difficult task with a simple pair of jeans and a white blouse. So normal yet so damn beautiful and captivating, giving a heavy blow on my self esteem, Jacob couldn't have possibly ever found that attractive, she was too .. clean. Where as Jacob was messy, in a non-dirty way, he was more out there and alive I guess, the complete opposite of how she came across.

I decided to ignore her rude behaviour, and looked to 'Bella' innocently before smiling widely at Jacob, he seemed to visibly relax and take a deep breath, as if he were expecting me to suddenly remember something about the pale Greek goddess and jump her.

He stalked past Bella and came to crouch beside me at the kitchen table, "I was wondering when you would turn up, Mr. Black said you were busy with work or something?"

He looked to his dad for the brief moment, as if that one simple eye contact conveyed a whole conversation, and with that Billy backed up in his wheel chair, softly saying that he would be in the living room if anyone needed. Pulling a chair closer to mine Jacob took a seat, one of his hands never leaving mine as he smiled softly, before looking behind me to Bella and letting the smile drop. He looked at her strangely, it was difficult to explain or decipher, but what I did know was that I didn't want him looking at her that way.

"Silver, this is Bella … one of my friends.", putting on a false smile I extended my arm out, waiting for her to politely shake it, instead she just continued to stare at me with that same look.

How rude. At least I was pretending to be nice; she couldn't even pull that off. I would have narrowed my eyes at her for her next statement, if it didn't just make me feel nervous and uncomfortable, what an actual bitch.

"Nice hair cut." Even an idiot could sense her mocking tone in it, and instantly my hand shot up to my short hair, turning back to Jacob I barely managed to squeak out my question like a pathetic little mouse.

"Does it look bad?"

"No! No it doesn't! You look beautiful."

God I was so pathetic, I wanted to at least imagine that the old me would have bitten back with a sarcastic comment, but all I could do right now was feel slightly smug at the fact that Jacob was now running his own hand through my hair lovingly before fixing a hard gaze on Bella. If I were childish enough I would have stuck my tongue out at her, but I had to remember that I was seventeen now, not thirteen.

The tension in the room began to thicken as it was becoming more evident that this Bella and I were not going to get along, man and I didn't even need to remember anything to know that she was a stuck up bitch. Avoiding all eye contact with her I rested my hands on the photo albums in front of me, taking a deep breath before addressing Jacob once more.

"I was sort of looking around in my room, to see if anything would feel familiar, and I found these in my closet, I was wondering if we could look at them together and you could explain the story behind it …"

He seemed hesitant in replying, looking worriedly to the pale beauty behind me, as if he were conflicted, but I could see the light in his eyes, and he knew I was trying, trying really hard to remember, not for me but for him. I stared at him for a few moments, waiting for him to make a decision, until he heaved a long sigh and his shoulders slumped in defeat, before looking back up and smiling at me.

"Sure, we can do whatever you want." I couldn't help but the let the triumphant grin spread across my face, but it was soon swiped away when Bella's voice cut through our moment.

"Jake. We were meant to talk today."

Her voice was monotone, yet it still managed to sound so freaking good, which to me didn't seem fair at all, and once again I saw that same look on his face, the one I knew from somewhere yet couldn't place my finger on it. He looked so conflicted with himself, as if he was constantly having an argument within his head, and he closed his eyes momentarily while he addressed Bella.

"Maybe another time Bells, I just can't right now."

Bells? He had a nickname for her? I didn't have one. Oprah Winfrey or who ever the hell that randomer was didn't count, and he didn't say her name like he did with mine, he said it with so much intensity like it meant the world. I found myself becoming more and more irrationally jealous, and I had to constantly remind myself to not spit something truly horrible out.

Who was this girl? I had never behaved like this at all since coming out of the hospital, but my thought process and the things that were running through my mind almost felt like it was normal. That I would originally behave like this, and realizing just how strange my behaviour was I reeled myself back in, reminding myself that although this sort of behaviour around Bells may have felt familiar, that I didn't know what my behaviour was like. This was new me, and I couldn't constantly wait around for old me to give me my memories, I had to try and find some ground and become my own person again, no matter what kind of secret demon she awoke inside of me.

"Fine. Walk me out." Even I could tell that her short hard words were not a request but an order, so I wasn't all that surprised when Jacob did, talking in hushed voices with her at the door before he closed it behind her with a soft and regrettable goodbye.

He stood there for a few moments before he sucked in a breath and turned back around, plastering on some fake smile while walking back to me and reclaiming the seat beside me.

"Right, where do you wanna start?"

I was silent as I looked to my lap, my hands softly placed on them before I spoke quietly, "The way you looked at her … its- its like the way you …" it's the way you look at me, was what I wanted to say, slowly piecing things in place, and I couldn't say that I liked it at all.

I thought I was the only one Jacob looked at in that way, like nothing else matter but what was in front of him, like he was afraid to blink for one second because he was afraid I would disappear, it made me feel special, and that was easily taken away.

I was thrust out of my thoughts as my chair skidded sideways, due to Jacob pulling me to face him dead in the eye, and his large warm hands grabbed my shoulders pulling my forward slightly, he almost looked scared, or on edge at least, and when he spoke he stuttered a great amount, desperation and fear filling his voice. But fear of what?

"Sil- listen to me- Bells- I mean Bella ... she's nothing okay? A long time a go maybe- but I swear- I swear to you Silver she means nothing like that to me anymore … you know it's only you right?"

I bit my lip, lowering my head to avoid his piercing gaze, and nodded softly, suddenly feeling extremely guilty for even insinuating anything like that. Jacob was nothing but supportive and loyal to me, always so patient with how I took everything, and I took it upon myself to accuse him of something so absurd, something that clearly didn't even happen a long time ago, like he said, maybe.

His soft lips touched my forehead, lingering there for a few seconds and sending sparks of fire shooting through my veins, once again allowing the butterflies in my stomach to soar, but as quickly as it came the feeling and moment was gone. Resting his hand above my back brace he massaged the area softly, earning a content sigh from me as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"How 'bout we start with your birthday album?"

8 Months Earlier ...

What a tramp. Hair all dishevelled like she thought she rocked the whole 'bed head' look, with some pathetic little lost look in her eyes, really she didn't have to be so damn depressingly suicidal for her ex boyfriend. It wasn't like he imprinted on her, she had no excuse to act like she was gonna drop dead any day; she was probably just infatuated with the fact that he was a fucking vampire. I mean really, they sparkle, I don't think it can get any more ridiculous than that. I'd take Bram Stoker's fable any day of her fairy jumping bunch, it was because of them that she was here anyway, getting the guys and Jake to run around in extra patrols just to protect her, it had nothing to with us.

"Be nice Silver."

I swear Emily could read minds or something; she took one look at my penetrating gaze and knew what was going on inside my head. Bella Swan had just walked into Emily's for the first time that I was present, latching onto my best friends arm as if her life depended on it, and shied away by hiding her face behind his shoulder like some fucking twelve year old.

Okay, so I was bitter. Maybe a little jealous too, and angry, irritation could find its way into there too, but that would most be associated with Jake for even bringing her here. He knew that I didn't like it, I was his fucking imprint for god sake, I was the one that had to watch give some puppy dog eyes to a girl that wasn't me, least of all the bland Bella Swan.

Of course I could never voice these opinions aloud, because that would destroy Jake, and as much as I wanted to see the Swan girl fall, I couldn't bear to see Jake's hurtful and disapproving gaze. I loved him too much for that.

Emily ushered her into the kitchen and took a seat in between Quil and Embry, who warmly greeted her, along with Kim who had been perched on Jared's lap. While the other boys greeted her with short 'hey's' or a nod, they continuously chewed loudly on their meals.

Emily's beautiful yet knowing face turned to me, fully expecting me to behave appropriately no matter what I felt. In some ways I guess I could say she behaved like my mother, since my real one was absent, but I'll leave those bitter thoughts on her for another time. Emily cocked her him to the side and rose an eyebrow at me, I couldn't help but crack a smile as I failed to find her intimidating in the polcadot apron she wore, her beautiful black hair tied back into a pony tail.

When it was time for me to finally greet Bella I felt the entire room silence a little, the boys chewed a little slowly as they would subtly look at my reaction out of the corner of their eyes, while Seth and Quil openly stared.

She looked at me with these innocent doe eyes, a small smile gracing her pale lips, and I could haven tried to give one in return, but it just didn't seem to happen, I just stared at her blankly, waiting for the atmosphere to go back to normal.

Jake cleared his throat loudly, giving me a pleading look while he spoke, "Bella this is Silver, my best friend."

He said it as if that would make me feel guilty; well it didn't, not to her at least. I could have said a lot to her, I could have made my usual snide bitchy comments like I did with the boys, only they knew I was joking, seeing as I would burst into laughter after wards, but with her I would completely mean it. I wanted to sigh, this is how you know when you're spending too much time with Leah, because your mood instantly dampens and you suddenly just hate the world a whole lot more than you originally would have.

She helped though, with a lot of things, and out of the corner of my eye I could see the small smirk playing on her face as she watched my exchange with Bella, she would definitely rave on later about being proud of me.

"Nice to meet you Silver, Jake's told me so much about you."

I bet he has. He probably left out the part about me being his imprint, Jake would never dare in any way foil his own chances with Bella. I actually cannot believe the amount of times I sat with him and gave him advice on her, it was just so much easier with me never meeting her, because then it still felt a little fictitious. Now however, seeing her in the flesh it suddenly hurt so much more, because now she was real, now she wasn't going away, and as long as her sparkling beauty was gone she was going to be here for good. God things never worked out in my favour, the day something actually goes my way pigs will fly, and maybe vampires and werewolves wont exist, maybe I'll wake up and realize that this entire ordeal was just a silly dream and that Jake was still my tall but scrawny best friend.

Wishful thinking will get you no where Silver. How many times do we have to consult each other about this? Talking to yourself is surely a sign of insanity, especially when it happens so often, I guess that's what happens when the love of your life so blatantly ignores any form of affection for no apparent reason.

I snorted, rather un-lady like at that, going completely against what I had said previously on not being able to upset Jake and turned to exit the kitchen through the back garden. Making sure the screen door made as much creaking noise as possible, and even from here I had to smile as I heard the sniggers from all the boys at the table.

I liked being a bitch.

I know ... I know ... It is really really REALLY late ... but honestly I do have a genuine excuse ... it's coming to the end of the year with my studies and work simply piled over that I had to focus on it for the last three weeks! And In my spare time I've been adding bits and pieces to this chapter, but I did have actually quite a lot written up already! I hope I Don't disappoint because this is my longest chapter, it's nine pages long!

Replies:

Wolf Happiness- Ha yeah, she does get over it in time, it just hit her all at once and overwhelmed her! And I think you got your answer to that question in this chapter ;) It's fun to see Bella getting so jealous :P

Crawfish 4 - I know! but he's just being stupid and in denial! Typical boy! And ha sorry! I'm still debating on that actually, guess we'll see where the story goes :D

Embrysgirl444 - Thank you for reading! :)

BY THE WAY I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I'M RENAMING THE STORY! NOTHING TO DRASTIC BUT IT'S JUST BECAUSE IN ANOTHER CATEGORY (TV SHOWS TO BE PRECISE) I CAME ACROSS ANOTHER STORY WITH THE SAME TITLE, AND TO AVOID ANY CONFLICT OR POSSIBLE ACCUSATIONS I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW IT'S CHANGING. ANNOUNCEMENT DONE.