John POV

The sign read:

"In loving memory of Joey Alexander Nite"

It's hard to believe that three days ago we were running track and eating ice cream. And then it all changed.

There was so much blood. Joey didn't wake up.

He wouldn't wake up.

I did everything I could, and it was for nothing.

He's dead and I'll never see him again.

Mum is forcing me to be here.

I don't think I can take this any longer.

I can't go in there.

I can't see my brother in a coffin.

I can't see him like that. I can't see him...dead.

I knew he was dead, but I just couldn't give up.

I just want him to wake up. I want my older brother back! I want my brother.

Mr. Tim told me that "God" has a plan for everyone. Well I honestly don't see the logic of his "plan"!

Mr.Tim "father" Monroe told me that everything was going to be ok.

Everything is definitely not ok.

I'm not ok.

I'll never be ok.

"John? John? Hey it's ok. Brother, please we need to go in now." Rosi said trying to get me to go into the funeral parlor where Joey was.

"Ro. I can't. I can't. Please don't make me. Rosalie he he's dead please don't make me go in there I don't want to see him please." I begged tears rolling down my face.

"John hey look at me. Look at me. You can do this. I'm right beside you. I'll help you through this." Rosi said taking my hand and pulling me through the doors into the parlor.

"Rosalie stop. Stop!" I yelled.

I can't breathe. I want to go home. He looks like he's just sleeping. But I know he's not going to wake up. I can't be in here no more I need to go.

"John? You're ok. Ok? John they're going to want you to speak. Is that ok?" Mum asked coming up to me and pulling me into one of the pews.

"I don't know. I I'll try mother. I just I don't know"

"John you don't have to if you don't want to." Rosi told me.

"I would like to ask Joey's brother and sister to come up and say a few words now." Mr. Tim said stepping away from the altar.

"John?"

I can do this.

"John? Come on."

I'm doing this for Joey

Just breathe in 1..2..3..4

Out 4..3..2..1.

"John?"

"I'm coming Ro." I mumbled getting up and walking to the altar.

"You ok?" Rosi asked

"Yea I'm ok. I'm ok."

"You going to talk or do you want me to?" Rosi asked taking my hand in hers

"I will." I said stepping behind the altar podium thing.

"Ok um well you all knew ...Joey as a funny and smart and kind person..but he wasn't.

He was not just funny, smart, and kind. He was a smart, funny, and annoying idiot.

He was my best friend.

He was the only person I knew that would want ice cream after running seven laps." I started, my voice cracking up.

"He loved fishing, drawing, and dancing. He used to dance around the living room singing random stuff. His favorite song to sing was the song in high school musical where they're at a baseball game. You guys know which one I'm talkin bout right?

But yeah he was..he was Joey and he loved his mother, brother, and sister.

And we love him. And now he's gone... And um I don't know what to do anymore because he was always here when I needed advice or when I was upset. My brother is gone and I can't get him back.

None of us can. And I just wanted to say that if there is a God or if Joey is here in spirit, because at least I know they are real, that he was the best and I'm going to miss him forever and if I talk in front of you all anymore I'm going to break down and yea thank you all for showing your love and sympathy goodbye" I said stepping away from the altar taking one last look at Joey dressed in his baby blue suit laying in that black shiny coffin and ran out the door.