Authors Note: OMG dude's thanks for the follows! Cheers and sorry for my darned spelling mistakes, I try but I can't catch 'em all.
"Hey gorgeous." Raven murmured as she awoke next to the warmth of Bellamy's body.
"Hey baby. How you feel?" Bellamy asked from his position lying beside her. They were snuggled up in a narrow hospital cot so he was on his side, one arm under her pillow, the other rested on her stomach, his body pressed entirely against hers to avoid falling off.
Raven shrugged, she wasn't in pain anymore thanks to the morphine steadily pumping into her system from the drip in her arm and her seizures had stopped. The doctors had explained what happened but she had barley listened. She couldn't handle any more bad news.
"I'm okay, better with you here." She informed him truthfully. She found the hospital weirdly cold and his warmth was welcome. His presence also made her feel like she was wrapped in a blanket of safety, tethering her to reality, keeping her from getting lost in the darkness.
Bellamy looked like he wanted to pursue talking about her health, but a harsh look from her silenced him on the subject. "When do I get to go home?" She asked, linking her hand with his, playing with his fingers on her stomach distractedly. Bellamy watched, he liked the way she fiddled with things, especially when she fiddled with his hair, or hands, or face, or anywhere really. She was one of those people, she liked to be held, she like to touch things, she was inquisitive, like a baby, picking everything up to inspect it.
"The doctor is coming to release you as soon as he's free. Should be soon. You have to rest at home though, no mechanics, or welding, or wiring, or hacking, nothing but rest and relaxation for you." He informed her with a poke in the ribs and a mischievous grin.
"But I'll die of boredom." She groaned, slapping his hand away.
Bellamy laughed, bopping her nose. "You'll have to take up crochet, or knitting."
"Fuck off." She scoffed, pushing him away, accidentally knocking him off the bed. "Shit." He muttered in surprise as he tumbled to the floor quite suddenly.
"Oi." He complained, his disgruntled face appearing at the edge of the bed, making Raven laugh ferociously. "I'm sorry, but you deserved it." She apologised holding out her arms and making a puppy dog face. "Come back to me your warm."
Bellamy stood, raising an eyebrow. "No, I don't think I will."
Raven pouted, folding her arms, ready to reply with equal sass when the doctor arrived at her bedside.
He released after a lengthy speech on what she could and could not do and ordered her to use a wheelchair and bed rest for at least a week, then she would have to attend physical therapy sessions. He also gave her a prescription for chronic pain.
She found all his words extremely depressing and her brief joyous mood from playing around with Bellamy was destroyed.
Their journey home was quiet. Bellamy had lifted her in and out of the car with ease, his strength and care while holding her affected her deep in her heart. To be treated with such respect and love by another human being, especially one you love and are attracted to was indescribable.
The first week back at home was hard. Raven awoke often in tears, her body overcome with pain when the drugs wore off during her sleep. She had had to wake Bellamy so often, and he'd stayed up with her during all the hard nights when the drugs just couldn't overcome her pain, he'd barely been to work that week, and they both looked like ghosts.
The chronic pain in Ravens spine and the lack of feeling or use of her leg was driving her crazy. She had never been more frustrated with or hated herself more than during that week. She missed working, missed her lab.
But they were getting through it. As retired soldiers from the landing on Earth they each received a weekly stipend anyway, so money wasn't tight, it was just the head of the guard wasn't overly pleased with Bellamy. He was a captain in his own right, but still had to answer to the Generals above him.
Abbey visited often, Raven was appreciative but mostly embarrassed to have her see the state of their house. All the houses in the settlement were the same, very much like the cabins they had had in space, but earthier and less spacey.
But despite the hurdles they had survived the week, and they survived the next one as well.
The following Friday, almost two weeks since she'd been back on her feet, she was more or less back to usual. The physical therapy was genuinely helping, even though it completely exhausted her. Bellamy too was sleeping better since she was, and looked more himself as well.
That night there was an event being held at Chancellor Kane's mansion. It was the 3rd Annual Clan Unity Gala, and they'd never really decided whether to attend. So, bored and riddled with cabin fever, they decided to go.
It was a fancy affair, requiting a full crisp tuxedo from Bellamy and a ravishing dress for Raven. Bellamy looked gorgeous, of course, but as they arrived it was Raven who stole the attention.
Her long hair was swept into an Ariana Grande style pony tail and her makeup was sensual and smoky. She was wearing tiny diamonds in her ears and around her wrists and she was a beautiful red ball gown. It featured an intricately lace embroidered bodice and a wide skirt billowed over layers of tulle, hiding her leg brace, and creating a stunning vision for everyone's eyes to feast upon.
She held tight to Bellamy's arm as they were greeted by friends and acquaintances and stagers alike.
She waved to Monty and Jasper across the room and smiled at Abbey over the heads of some people talking to her that she didn't know. However, it wasn't until they finally found Clarke that Raven began to relax. "Oh my god Raven!" Clarke squealed, wrapping her in a tight hug. "Oh, I'm so happy to see you!" Raven returned, squeezing her friend tight. "I've missed you, I know you were unwell, I wish I'd come to see you, I've honestly been so busy." Clarke apologized, guilt written all over her face.
"It's okay." Raven assured her, letting her go and looking her up and down, admiring how hot she looked in her stunning blue velvet ball gown at seven months pregnant. "Bellamy!" Clarke said fondly, turning to him for a hug. "How are you doing, baby doing good?" She asked as Lexa joined them, greeting them with polite smiles as she put an arm around Clarkes waist.
Clarke's eyes lit up as she put a hand on her belly and leaned toward Lexa affectionately. "The baby is so big! I can't wait until it's over," She smirked a little, laughing at her own silliness. "But I love it."
Raven smiled as Bellamy continued their conversation, withdrawing a little as the three of them talked. She admired the wine coloured sequined masterpiece Lexa was wearing before her eyes drifted elsewhere. She noticed French doors not far from where she was standing and slowly she strayed toward them. She exited the ballroom, leaving the gala behind in favour of the fresh air outside on the balcony.
She gazed at the starry night sky, a cold breeze ruffling her hair. She was lost in thought, thinking about nothing and everything, almost unaware that she was shivering with cold. After a while she found herself numb and sitting on the stone floor, her back against the little columns of the balcony railing. It wasn't until she heard her own sobs that she focused, crashing back to reality and her own tears before sinking back into the numbing depression again.
She was a shivering, snivelling mess when Bellamy found her, tears and makeup running down her cheeks and throat, hair whipped around by the wind, her hands and dress dirty from the stone she was sitting on. Her shoulders wracked with sobs as he crouched beside her, his voice alarmed as he wrapped his warm arms around her.
"Raven, baby I've been looking for you everywhere. It's been hours since I've seen you. Have you been out here the whole time?" He asked anxiously, taking off his jacket and wrapping her in it.
She just looked at him through her teary eyes, barely registering his words.
Bellamy was terrified of how dead her eyes looked in that moment. "Come on baby, let me get you home." He tried to scoop her up but she batted him off.
"NO!" She argued, turning away from him, breaking out of his warm embrace.
"Raven! It's freezing out here. Come inside." He demanded, his voice gentle but firm, his distress evident.
"No." Her voice was filled with anguish as she burst into fresh tears, her mind racing, unable to focus on reality, her conscious slipping into a deep pool of pain, rendering her incapable of thinking logically. Bellamy made noises of frustration before sitting down beside her and pulling her close to him. She fought initially but quieted as her body desperately clung to his warmth and she burrowed under his arm, seeking refuge.
Slowly, his familiar scent, soap and warm skin, and his familiar feel, muscular arms around her, hard chest beneath her, and the sound of his steady even breathing brought her back to a place of calm. Gradually she regained her senses, her eyes flooding again as she became aware of her behaviour. "Oh Bellamy." She whispered, cringing, and hiding her face under his arm in shame. "I'm sorry."
The pressure of his hold of her increased as he hugged her tighter. He wanted to help, he didn't want her to feel guilty for things that were out of her control. He stood up, turning, and pulling her up after him. He held her narrow shoulders, catching her eye and holding it. "Raven, I love you. And nothing you are feeling or doing is something you must apologize for. But I need you to be safe. If," His voice caught a little and he looked away briefly, overcome with emotion. "If I'm not someone you trust enough to be around, I will take you to someone you want to help you."
Raven's heart almost broke as she heard his words, Bellamy's face clearly riddled with the pain of saying them.
"No. No." She wrapped her arms around him, clinging to his tall frame like it was her anchor. "I need you. I don't deserve you, you shouldn't have to put up with this. With me. But I need you."
She looked up at him, her expression truly anguished. "I need you."
"And I need you." He replied, his voice hoarse with emotion. He swallowed hard, turning away to wipe his eyes, relieved by her words and comforted that his worst fear, that she didn't need him, was unfounded. He loved her more than words could describe and the last few minutes had been more emotionally draining then he let on. He just wanted to get home, get warm, sleep, and recover.
Raven felt the same, so they made a hasty exit, avoiding saying goodbye to anyone so she wouldn't be embarrassed by concern over her appearance.
Once home they showered together, it wasn't sexual, it was practical, otherwise Raven would have to bathe, as she couldn't stand alone. The hot water warmed them, bringing colour back to her cheeks and washing away the sting of the recent events.
Still wrapped in fluffy towels but dried off they collapsed into bed, cuddling together affectionately, warming each other, and savouring the healing for their souls through their physical closeness.
Raven played with Bellamy's hands for a while, just feeling their familiarity and beauty, running her finger tips over his knuckles and creases. She kissed his fist and then put them down. He took the opportunity to kiss her mouth softly and gently massaged her shoulder, stroking her arm until she fell asleep.
"Night Raven." He whispered, closing his own eyes. "I love you.