Chapter 8
Alex fell asleep as soon as she lay down with Sally on the lounge room floor, she was beyond exhausted. But she needed to know Sally was there, she needed to feel that physical connection. It gave her a type of comfort she couldn't describe. Sally knew Alex needed that when she was having a rough time, so it had become instinctual for her to reach out and have a hand on Alex all night. It didn't matter if it was her shoulder, arm, or leg, she knew that it helped Alex to stay calm. So that's how they stayed for most of the night, Alex asleep on her side, while Sally lay behind her with a hand on her arm.
Both of them slept in Sunday morning, not waking up until almost midday. Sally woke up first to see Alex asleep on her shoulder. She turned on the TV and let Alex keep sleeping, they had no plans for the day so it didn't matter. Alex woke up about thirty minutes after Sally, rubbing her face against her sister's shoulder in an attempt to wake up. She groaned as soon as she opened her eyes, she was definitely hung over.
"Not feeling so great Lex?"
"You could say that, fuck…"
Alex had a headache and her eyes felt sore and puffy from all the crying, and somehow she still managed to feel tired, even though she'd slept for hours. She took the bottle of water Sally passed her and drank half of it in two gulps, she was so thirsty and her mouth tasted like stale smoke and beer. She leant her head back on Sally's shoulder once she was done and closed her eyes again, she felt like sleeping all day. It sure as hell beat the other option of staying awake and remembering what she did last night. She felt Sally rub her shoulder, and she knew the conversation was about to start.
"So what happened last night?"
Alex knew Sally wasn't judging her, she couldn't blame her sister for wanting to know why she completely flew off the handle. She felt guilty about causing drama for Sally, but it also felt good to let go of her emotions like that.
"I just...I lost it. I was high and drunk, I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to be somewhere else, or someone else, I dunno."
"Why didn't you call me?"
"I don't know, I didn't wanna bother you."
It sounded so stupid when she said it out loud, I didn't wanna bother you, so I came home and started breaking shit instead.
"Did you and Nicky go anywhere last night?"
"Just Nicky's house, but then I made her take me to the cemetery. I had to go, then we stayed there for a while, and then I came back home."
Alex knew it wasn't good enough, but she didn't know what else to say. She didn't mean to scare Sally, her sister wouldn't have even known anything was wrong if she wasn't home. She was expecting Sally to tell her not to do it again, but she didn't.
"I know we both deal with things differently, I just don't want you hurting yourself because you're too stoned to know what you're doing. I know you're not gonna call me every time something's wrong, but you weren't yourself last night."
Alex nodded in agreement, and she was hoping Sally would leave it at that, she wanted to forget last night ever happened.
"And I also wanna talk about Piper."
Fuck, Alex completely forgot she let Piper's name slip last night.
"I'm not gonna get angry if you like her, or if you wanna ask her out. I just don't want you to get hurt. I assume that's why you've been so quiet on the girl front lately."
Alex was grateful that Sally wasn't making a big deal out of it, so she figured she owed her sister some honesty. Or at least as much honesty as Alex was willing to offer up when she was sober.
"I know you guys have gotten pretty close, I didn't want to get in the way of that."
"You're not gonna get in the way of me and Piper being friends. So you like her a lot by the sounds of it?"
"I guess so, there's something different about her Sal, it makes me want something more from her. Something that I haven't wanted from other girls."
Sally smiled and messed up Alex's black hair, she could tell this was more than an everyday crush, "Good, so don't fuck it up then."
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The rest of the weekend disappeared, and Alex found herself back at school all too quickly on Monday. The lunch break was just about finished and she was trying to decide whether she could be bothered going to her afternoon classes. She was wandering down the main hallway with Carrie and Nicky when she saw Piper going into the bathroom just as the bell sounded. She said goodbye to her friends and followed Piper, she saw the older girl standing at the row of basins washing her hands, no one else was there. Alex slowly walked up behind the blonde and slipped her hands around her waist, kissing her neck.
"Wanna skip class with me?
Piper was not the type of student that ever skipped class, but she already felt excited the second Alex's arms slipped around her.
"Hmmm, where would we go?"
"We could go get a coffee?"
Piper smiled and turned around so they were facing each other, "Are you asking me out on a date?"
"Don't be ridiculous Chapman, I need to caffinate."
"Okay, firstly, I'm pretty sure that's not a real word. And secondly, do you usually touch all your coffee buddies like this?"
Piper drew her eyes down her body to where Alex's hands were sitting on her hips, pulling them together.
Alex couldn't resist a smirk and kept playing along, "No, I don't."
She kept pulling Piper in closer until they were kissing, and she ran her hands up the blonde's body until they were on her face. They kept kissing, not thinking about anything else, until Sally walked through the bathroom door and saw them together.
"Shit! I did not need to see that."
Piper pulled away from the kiss as soon as she heard Sally's voice. Her heart was racing, she knew how protective Sally was over Alex.
Piper was convinced Sally was about to unleash on her, "Fuck! Sally, I can explain, it's.."
Sally stepped towards them both, she could tell Piper was nervous about being caught and was starting to ramble.
"Pipes, calm down. Alex already spoke to me about stuff, it's fine."
Sally kept walking towards them and handed her books to Alex while she washed her hands. Alex looked on and stayed quiet, she hadn't told Piper that she spoke to Sally about her.
"Oh...okay, are you sure? I'm sorry, this is awkward."
Sally finished drying her hands and took her books back from Alex, "Seriously Pipes, it's fine. Let's just go to our next class."
Piper tried to compose herself and followed Sally, who was pretty sure she knew what Alex's plans were for the afternoon.
"You should be going to class too Alex, right?"
"Sure, my plans exactly."
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Piper kept walking next to Sally as they made their way down the long corridor. Her mind was racing, she didn't know what she was supposed to say or do. She finally started breathing again once she heard Sally's voice and saw her smile.
"You don't have to be scared around me Pipes."
Piper managed to laugh, she was relieved, and she wanted to make sure things wouldn't change between them.
"Seriously Sal, you've become my best friend in the last few months, I don't want anything to change that."
"Neither do I."
"Okay, so...Ugh! Sorry, this just wasn't how I pictured this all coming out."
"Piper, it's okay. Alex talked to me about it yesterday, she told me she wanted to ask you out. But look, I did want to talk to you about it. You know what she's been through, what she's still going through. She likes to put up her bulshit facade but that's all it is. If it's not something you can take seriously, just say no. Don't let her fall for you if that's not what you want."
Piper was trying to process everything Sally was saying, all she could keep thinking was that she had no idea what she wanted from Alex. She knew that she cared about her, she was definitely attracted to her, but she hadn't thought about it beyond that.
"I care about her a lot Sal."
"Just don't hurt her."
They kept walking to class and Piper was feeling more relaxed. The rest of their afternoon started to feel normal again, but Piper couldn't get Sally's words out of her head. If Piper did ever hurt Alex, even if it wasn't intentional, she knew Sally would not take it well.
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Alex had no intention of going to class that afternoon, and met Carrie and Nicky at the end of the oval where they were already smoking. Nicky had seen Alex follow Piper into the bathrooms just after lunch, which made her stomach sink.
She still wasn't sure exactly what her feelings were for Alex, but she couldn't help getting jealous about Piper. She tried to push it to the back of her mind, she didn't want to think about it. She kept telling herself that all that mattered was having Alex as a friend.
"Finally Vause! I couldn't help but notice you chase after blondie into the bathrooms, kinda creepy."
Alex sat down next to Nicky and took the joint from her mouth, she was in a really good mood, which didn't happen very often lately.
"You can't bring me down today Nicholls."
"Don't tell me she let you fuck her in a cubicle?"
"Close, but no. I asked her out, I kissed her, it was all going perfectly until Sal walked in and Piper freaked out."
Carrie burst out laughing, "Holy shit, that is fucking hilarious! How did Sal take it?"
"I already spoke to her about it on the weekend, and she says she's fine with it."
Nicky clenched her jaw, she tried to hide it and laugh along with Carrie, but she was struggling. She still wasn't convinced Alex knew what she was getting herself into.
"I get it, she's kinda hot, but she's also pretty fucking straight."
"Nick, I'm telling you, she is not straight. She might not be gay, but she's not straight."
Alex took a long drag from the joint and closed her eyes before she exhaled. She knew Nicky probably wasn't happy about the Piper situation, but she didn't want to hide it, she wanted her best friend to be happy for her
"Exactly, she's not gay, she's probably never fucked anyone but preppy rich boys."
"So what?" Alex didn't want this to turn into a fight, but Nicky wasn't making that easy.
"So, just watch yourself, that's all I'm saying."
Carrie stood up and finished her own joint, "Oh my god Nicholls, let it go, find someone else to fuck and get it out of your system. I gotta head to last class, see you ladies tomorrow."
Alex watched Carrie walk back towards the school buildings, and she suddenly felt like she was surrounded by Nicky's emotions. She loved her, she trusted her, but only as a friend.
"I don't want you to be upset Nick, you know I love you right?"
"I get it Alex, I'm just not used to you going all mushy over someone."
Nicky didn't want to talk about it, it still hurt too much and it was too confusing. But she also couldn't leave Alex alone while they were at school, not with the way Healy was still acting. She tried to change the subject.
"Wanna go to class?"
Alex lit up another joint and passed it to her, "What do you think?"
Nicky took the joint and watched Alex lie down and put her head in her lap. Nicky used to love it when Alex lay on her, but now it was just a reminder that she couldn't kiss her or touch her. It was a reminder that they'd never be more than friends.
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Alex was initially surprised at how open Piper was willing to be about their relationship at school. They'd only been dating for a few weeks, but the blonde didn't seem to have any problem with holding hands or giving Alex a quick kiss at school. But she knew Piper's family was completely out of bounds, her mother sounded more than a little up-tight, and she never really spoke about her dad much. Cal obviously knew, and he seemed to think it was fantastic. In Cal's eyes, his sister was in with the badass crew that sold pot to all the seniors, therefore making him look like a badass.
Everyone at school knew Alex was gay, so it wasn't an issue for her. Some kids made fun of her when she first came out, but it didn't last long. Soon enough people got bored of it and moved onto the next person. Alex never cared anyway, Diane always made her feel comfortable about who she was, so keeping it a secret never even occurred to her.
It was a Friday afternoon and Piper followed Alex to her locker towards the end of the day, the week was nearly over and she was feeling pretty tired. She also found herself falling into an easy rhythm with Alex, she'd never felt this relaxed with anyone else she dated in the past. At first she was nervous about being open with it at school, but pretty soon she realised it didn't matter. Alex was already out, and no one at the school knew her that well anyway, it didn't matter. She already made sure to sit Cal down and talk to him about it, making him swear to not tell their parents. She trusted him, she knew he wouldn't say anything, she definitely wasn't ready to deal with that confrontation. It had only been a few weeks, but to Piper it felt like so much longer, she was almost scared by how quickly she felt herself falling for Alex.
She leaned in close to Alex and kissed her on the cheek before they had to go to their next class. Piper was about to kiss her again when saw Sam Healy standing across the hallway, staring at her, like he was horrified. She grabbed onto Alex's hand and let her know he was coming. Piper felt scared, like she might become a target for Healy too. Now he was standing in front of them, just staring, but he didn't stay silent for long.
"What are you doing Piper?"
"It's really none of your business Sam."
She tried to step around him but he blocked her path, now she was feeling nervous. Her heart beat slowed down when she felt Alex put a hand on her shoulder, calm down Chapman, you're not alone.
"Why the hell would you want to waste your time with someone like Vause?"
This time Alex tried to push past him, but he wasn't ready to let either of them go. He shoved her back into Piper, "She's no good Chapman, you're not like her."
Piper felt her anxiety rise again, she just wanted to get away from him. But it also made her angry, the fact that he thought Alex was so worthless.
"Actually, I am like her, just like her. So get out of the way."
He ignored her and took a step closer to them. She knew he was trying to intimidate her, and it was working, but she tried not so show it. She looked towards Alex, her own fear made her feel pathetic, but this wasn't a situation she'd ever been in before, she wasn't used to dealing with this much confrontation. She was going to ask him again to get out of the way, but Alex beat her to it.
"Get the fuck out of our way!"
"I wasn't talking to you Vause."
Piper saw the way he looked at Alex, his stare was full of hatred, and now she was actually scared for their safety. Alex had enough, stepped forward and shoved him hard in the chest, forcing him back, but she didn't say anything. Piper's heart was racing by this point, and she grabbed Alex's hand and pulled her back behind her. She was pretty sure he wouldn't touch her, and she was determined to protect Alex as he walked back towards them.
"Get out of the way Chapman."
"Why? So you can hurt her again? I'm not moving."
Piper stood her ground, but she was still petrified. She was sick of seeing this asshole hurt Alex, and the truth was that she'd never felt so protective over someone else before. Even though she was scared, there was no way she was going to let him do anything to Alex without at least trying to protect her. She knew the real Alex, how much good was insider her, how intensely she felt everything, and she deserved to feel safe. He was about to step closer to them when Carrie walked past and saw what was happening, and walked straight to them.
"Ready for class ladies?"
Healy looked pissed off and stepped to the side, letting Alex and Piper walk past. He knew it would turn into a scene pretty quickly with Carrie involved, so he let it go. All three girls started walking away from him, but Carrie couldn't resist turning around to say goodbye.
"Enjoy your day Samantha."
Alex laughed and linked her fingers with Piper's, who still looked nervous.
"You can't let him get to you blondie, don't let him know you're scared."
"It's okay Pipes, safety in numbers. Especially if big bad Carrie happens to be one of those numbers."
Carrie started walking off to her own class, "Any time ladies."
Alex could feel the tension in Piper as they kept walking on their own, "He won't touch you Pipes, I won't ever let him do anything to you. It's me he hates."
"Is that meant to make me feel better? Because it doesn't." Piper knew that Alex was just trying to make her feel safer, but Piper didn't even care. The whole situation scared her, she was scared of how much she actually liked Alex, which just made her even more scared about what he might do to her next.
Alex pulled her in closer, "I just don't want you to be scared because of him. I don't want you to feel like you're in danger because of me. The numbers strategy has been working for us, we just need to keep it up."
Piper knew she was right, but it didn't make it any easier. She kissed Alex on the cheek and made her way to the next class.
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Sally and Piper had different schedules that afternoon, but she knew Piper would be with Alex and walk her to class. Sally had just finished gym and was the last one left in the auditorium. She picked up her bag and was about to go get changed when she saw Healy walk in.
He was fuming inside at the way Piper had spoken to him, by the way they all walked off looking smug and laughing at him. He was determined to regain the upper hand, and if he couldn't get to Alex directly, then Sally was the next best option. He also hadn't forgotten about when she pulled a knife on him in the hallway, and wanted to make it very clear that he didn't appreciate it.
Sally was expecting this to be another screaming match, he'd never gotten physical with her before. In a few moments they were standing face to face, and she was waiting for him to start ranting. But he completely caught her off guard when he went to grab her and shoved her face first into the closest wall. He held her tight against the wall and covered her mouth so she couldn't scream.
"This is for pulling a knife on me, you're no better than your dyke sister."
Sally tried to pull her arms free from his grip and grit her teeth. Whatever was about to happen, she knew it would hurt. He slipped the small brass knuckles over his fingers and threw his fist into her side as hard as he could. She tried to scream out but it was muffled by his hand, all she could smell was his sweat. He hit her in the same spot as hard as he could two more times. He let go of her and she dropped to the floor groaning. She couldn't focus on anything but the pain.
Healy didn't say anything, slipped the brass knuckles back into his pocket, and left the auditorium. Sally stayed on the floor and tried to catch her breath, she just needed to get it together so she could meet Piper and Alex in the parking lot at the end of the day. She stayed on the floor until the sharp pains subsided and she managed to stand up. Her whole body felt like it was aching but she managed to get to the change rooms and get dressed into jeans and a t-shirt. The last bell had just gone, and she was relieved to know that she had plenty of time to get to the parking lot.
She started walking slowly, trying to not limp and hide the pain on her face. She eventually made it to the parking lot and saw Piper and Alex standing next to the car, laughing with each other. She watched on and saw Alex lean in to kiss Piper on the cheek, and it was impossible to miss the smiles on both of their faces. At first she was worried about how things might go between them, but she couldn't deny that Piper made Alex happy. The younger girl still had her bad days and nights, but Piper was making a difference.
She smiled once she got close enough to the other two girls and they all got in the car to drive back to the apartment. It was a Friday night, which meant Piper would be staying over. The sleeping arrangements seemed to change every time Piper slept over. Some nights all three of them crashed in the lounge room, some nights Sally had the bed to herself while Alex and Piper spent the night in the lounge room, and some nights Alex still slept in the bed with Sally.
Sally had gotten so used to being Alex's protector, to being the one that she always went to for help, it almost made her feel sad to know that wouldn't always be the case. She hoped the day came when Alex didn't have nightmares anymore, when she didn't have to deal with assholes like Healy making her life hell. But a part of her always wanted to be the one to take care of her. No matter how old they got, Alex would always be her little sister.
Once they got back to the apartment, Alex was determined to make nachos for dinner. Sally was feeling pretty sore after walking up the stairs, and her jeans were hurting the spot where he'd hit her. She went to get changed as soon as they got through the front door, leaving Alex and Piper to make the nachos. She peeled off her t-shirt carefully and saw a big deep purple bruise already forming. She carefully pulled off her jeans and got into a pair of Alex's pyjama shorts, they were lose and she knew they wouldn't press against the bruise. She was rummaging through the drawers to find the t-shirt she wanted when Alex opened the bedroom door.
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Alex decided they needed music for their nacho making, so she went into the bedroom to grab one of her playlists. As soon as she opened the door she saw her sister standing next to the chest of drawers in shorts and a bra, with a huge bruise running down her side. Alex's smile immediately turned to worry.
"What the fuck happened to you?"
Sally's mind switched over to auto pilot, she didn't want Alex to know what happened.
"Nothing, things got a little heated in gym."
Alex stepped over to her sister and forced her to sit on the bed, "That's total bulshit Sal, you always were a lousy liar."
Alex sat next to Sally on the bed just as Piper walked in. She was going to ask if they wanted anything from the store when she saw the worry plastered all over Alex's face.
"What's going on?"
Alex helped Sally stand up so Piper could see the damage.
"Oh my god! Sal, what the hell happened? You need to get ice on that." Piper ran out of the room to see what they had in the freezer. She came back with a packet of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel.
"Nothing happened, it's fine guys, really. Go make your nachos, I'm starving."
Alex took the peas from Piper, "Okay, no one is buying your pathetic attempt at lying."
She made her sister lie down and gently placed the peas over the bruise. Alex kept her eyes on Sally's face as the cold pack touched her side, and she didn't miss the sharp intake of breath and grimace on her face.
Piper knelt down next to the bed, "That looks really bad Sally, what the hell happened?"
Sally knew they wouldn't leave her alone, but she wasn't ready to tell them the truth.
"Was it him?" Alex kept holding the cold pack on her sister's side, she could barely bring herself to look at the deep purple marks on her skin.
"It's not a big deal Lex."
Alex jumped off the bed as soon as she heard those words, she was so fucking angry. He'd never touched Sally before, and she couldn't take seeing the aftermath. In that moment all she wanted was to hurt him.
"I fucking knew it! What the fuck did he do to you?"
Piper stood up and tried to calm Alex down, "Just let her explain Alex, please calm down."
Piper ran her fingers over Alex's cheeks to try and force her to stay calm, "Let's just sit down and find out what happened, then we decide what to do next. Okay?"
Alex nodded and sat back down next to Sally, and put the peas back on the bruise to help with the swelling. Piper knelt back down on the floor, she saw Alex trying to hold back her tears, she'd never seen her this upset and angry before. She knew how close Alex was to Sally, and that the idea of Healy hurting her was probably killing her inside. But they needed to stay calm, they didn't even know what happened yet.
"Please tell me what happened Sal, I promise I'm not gonna run off and do something crazy, I just need to know."
Sally could hear the emotion in her sister's voice. She reached out and grab Alex's hand before she started talking.
"He surprised me after gym. I was the only one left and he walked in. I wasn't expecting anything to happen, I wasn't ready for it. That's it."
"You need to tell me the rest Sal," the emotion in Alex's voice now just sounded like desperation.
"He got me against the wall and hit me in the side. Like I said, I wasn't ready for it, he caught me off guard."
Piper sat quietly next to the bed and listened, but she knew Alex was struggling to keep her emotions in check.
"He must have hit you pretty fucking hard to do that. How the fuck did no one notice or fucking hear anything?"
Alex was barely managing to hold off her tears and anger, she still felt like Sally wasn't telling her everything.
"He had his hand over my mouth, no one could hear anything. Please Lex, I promise I'm okay, it's just a bruise."
Alex closed her eyes and tried to get rid of all the images that were flying through her mind, "Did he do anything else? You need to tell me if anything else happened."
"I promise kid, nothing else happened. He left, and I went back to the change rooms."
All three girls were silent for a while, trying to process everything that had just happened. Alex helped Sally sit up and passed her a clean t-shirt to put on. Even though Alex couldn't see the bruises anymore, she couldn't get that image out of her mind.
"He was giving us a hard time today, until Carrie came by, then he left us alone. Maybe it pissed him off, I'm not sure."
Sally hadn't wanted to tell Alex about the pocket knife incident, but she also didn't want her blaming herself for what happened that afternoon.
"It's not your fault Lex." Sally sighed before she kept talking, everything had turned into a huge mess.
"That day I went to see Caputo a few weeks back, after he put you in the hospital, I saw him walking down the hallway. I pulled a knife on him…."
Sally kept her eyes on Alex's face, which was filled with confusion, "What the fuck Sal!"
"I'd had enough of it all Alex! I'd had enough of watching him hurt you, and I was fucking scared when you went to the hospital because of him. I just wanted control of the situation, but apparently that didn't work….You're upset because he got to me today. Imagine how I feel watching it happen to you all the fucking time."
Alex didn't think she could handle it, she'd lose her mind if she had to watch him hurt Sally again. She tried to put herself in Sally's position, and it just made her feel guilty all over again.
"I couldn't deal with it, if I had to watch him hurt you."
Sally put an arm around Alex, "We just need to keep sticking together okay. What happened today was a one off for him, it won't happen again."
Alex didn't say anything, she just tried to convince herself that Sally was right.
"You guys finish making the nachos, I need to lie down for a bit. Let me know when they're ready."
Alex and Piper left the bedroom and went back into the kitchen, letting Sally have alone time to rest.
Piper hugged Alex as soon as they were back in the kitchen, "Are you okay?"
"I just fucking hate him, we've been putting up with this shit for two years, I'm sick of it."
"I know. Just please promise me that you won't do something stupid because you're angry."
Alex had no interest in making promises she knew she wouldn't keep. She pulled back from the hug and kissed Piper before going back to the nachos.
"You need to promise me Alex."
"Pipes.."
"No, this isn't an option. You getting into trouble won't help Sally, or me."
Alex stopped and turned back around to face Piper, she wasn't used to this. She was used to doing pretty much whatever she wanted. The only person that had any remote control over her was Sally. All she wanted to do was go after Healy, she needed to let him know that going after Sally wasn't an option. But she also didn't want to upset Piper. She was starting to realise that if she wanted things to actually work with the blonde, she had to start listening to her.
"Okay, I promise Pipes, I won't do anything."