A/N- A reviewer asked if I could add some smut into my story. I just want to say that reading smut makes me feel rather uncomfortable because... well let's just say I was raised old-fashioned. So no, there will be no smut but sexual activities will be implied. That's all I have to say. If you wanna know what I mean by 'old-fashioned' send me a PM but I'm sure you'll know what I mean.

Chapter 13

"Deep breath Clay, you'll be fine," assured Mom.

Clay did as he was told and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. he flexed his fingers and reached up to adjust his tie nervously.

"Stop fidgeting," snapped Mom impatiently.

"Sorry, mumbled Clay.

"It's okay. It's time to go in," said Mom, checking her watch as she stood up.

Clay took another deep breath and followed his mother into the room. He held the door out for Mom before letting himself in behind her. It was an impressive room, open-spaced with a view of the city and bay. In the centre of the room was a long table of deep mahogany, mainly used for conferences and the like. Only one chair was placed on the far side of the table, a black, leather armchair that looked as formidable as it did comfortable.

A single video camera on a tripod sat sat on the other side of the table opposite the chair between two other leather armchairs, which was to be used to record the testimonies of Clay and the other teenagers. Seated nervously in the corner were Hannah and her parents, while the defence attorney was standing in another corner, talking into his phone in hushed tones. When the man saw Clay and Mom come in, he finished his call and walked over to them.

"Good, now we can begin," said the man curtly, shaking Clay's hand before directing him over to sit in the lone chair.

He gave Hannah a small smile as he passed, one which she returned, while Mrs Baker gave him a thumbs up. Clay repressed a groan of pleasure when he sat into the armchair, because it was probably the comfiest thing he had ever sat in. But it still didn't settle the nerves which bubbled just below the surface.

Clay and Hannah had discussed what he would talk about when it came time for him to give his testimony. Zach, Alex and Sheri had already given their's, speaking of their involvement of Hannah's attempted suicide as truthfully as they could. Marcus, Ryan, Courtney and Jessica had also given their testimonies, but Clay didn't know what they had said and he wasn't allowed to know.

Justin never showed up for his testimony, apparently circumstances at home prevented him from attending. When Clay asked Alex about it, he looked uncomfortable.

"Justin gets abused a lot at home," Alex had said. "His mom's boyfriend's a dick head and his mom's doesn't care about him."

"Holy shit," Clay had muttered. "What about Jessica? Any word from her?"

Alex shrugged. "I think she knows what happened to her, she just doesn't want to admit it. I think she's a little torn too. Some of us are trying to tell her the truth but she's hanging around people who keep denying it."

Yet Alex had persisted in winning Jessica over, and they were rewarded. Jessica had finally come over to apologize to Hannah, and their friendship was on the mend. Yet she still refused to accept what happened to her, and Hannah hadn't blamed her for it in the slightest.

"You don't get it," Hannah had argued when Clay had gotten frustrated about it one day. "You've never been raped. It's something taken from you that you can never get back no matter how hard you try. It's the one thing you can't take back other than your life."

Clay had shut up after that, seeing as his girlfriend was the only other person Clay knew who had suffered a similar fate.

When discussing about what Clay should say, Hannah had advised him to just stick to his side of the story.

"Don't talk about my rape or anything you weren't a part of," Hannah said. "Leave that to me because it happened to me."

"So I just talk about what you said in my tape?" Clay had asked.

"Yes, but don't mention the tapes."

They had agreed (Begrudgingly, for Clay) because apparently it was damaging to the case or something that Clay didn't understand.

"Let's begin," said Mom, bring Clay back to the present. "For the record, can you please state your name, age and what school you attend."

"Clay Jensen," said Clay as clearly as he could. "Age seventeen and I attend Liberty High."

"What is your association with Hannah Baker?"

"She's my girlfriend," said Clay evenly. Once upon a time that word would have terrified him, but Clay had grown comfortable with it.

"Were you and Hannah dating prior to her attempted suicide?" asked Mom.

From the corner of his eye Clay saw Hannah stiffen.

"No, we were just friends at the time," said Clay. "Our relationship developed after her attempt."

Mom jotted down some notes on her notepad, the defence attorney doing the same. "Did you know that Miss Baker had entertained suicidal thoughts before her attempt?"

"No. Whenever I saw her at school or work- we work together at the Crestmont, that is, she always looked, well, happy," confessed Clay. "Though at the end I did notice that she smiled a lot less and seemed almost scared of a lot of things."

"Did you perhaps have something to do with Hannah's descent into depression?" prompted Mom.

"Yes," said Clay. Hannah buried her face in her hands while her parents looked shocked at Clay's confession.

"She said I didn't do anything wrong, that it was the actions of others that caused her to try to... hurt herself, but I still think I did something wrong."

"And what do you think you did wrong?" asked the other attorney.

Clay said nothing for a moment, instead looking down at his lap. His hands were coiled into fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "I wasn't there for her when she needed me. She had been asking for help for months, but I was too blind to see it. I had heard the rumours being spread about her, but I did nothing about it. When she needed someone to comfort her, I was too much of a coward to step forward and be that person.

"I almost cost a girl her life because I was too afraid to love her," he finished, his eyes feeling damp with unshed tears.

In front of him, the defence attorney looked stunned, while his mom looked both sad and proud of Clay's words. Mrs Baker was quietly weeping in the corner, and Hannah hadn't even bothered to wipe away the tears falling down her soft, pale cheeks. Mr Baker just sat there with a shocked look on his face. Probably because I just said I was in love with his daughter, Clay thought dryly.

"Can you tell us what happened the night you found Miss Baker?" asked Mom, her face creased with worry, making her look older than her forty-two years.

This was it. The big moment. Hannah had urged Clay to tell the lawyers what happened, but he had been hesitant. It was something he had only talked to Hannah and Tony about. His own parents didn't even know the full story. Clay was worried that if he talked about it, the nightmares would come back. His parents had practically forced Clay to take medication in order to keep the nightmares at bay, even though he had told them that sleeping with Hannah ("Actually sleeping, nothing else," Clay had added when his parents looked at him with positively murderous expressions) kept the nightmares at bay, they had refused, saying it 'wasn't proper.'

"I was at home, doing homework when Tony, Tony Padilla that is, came over and told me that Hannah was in trouble and he needed my help," began Clay, his voice devoid of emotion. "Tony's not a dramatic guy, so I knew something must have been bad for him to get worked up over something. We drove over to the Bakers' home and when Hannah didn't respond to our calls, Tony kicked the door down." Clay sent the Bakers an apologetic smile, one they laughed silently at.

"I found her in the bathroom when I almost slipped on water which was coming from the bathtub. She had cut her wrists with a razor blade and she had already lost a lot of blood. It was everywhere, the blood. It had stained the water, it was on the razor blade, her hands, clothes, my clothes, my hands. She was unconscious when I pulled her out of the bathtub and we went straight to the hospital because we didn't think we had enough time to call an ambulance."

Clay could see it all again. Him begging for Hannah to be alive and awake while she stared back at him with unseeing eyes, her blood dripping out of her wrists and staining his shirt while he carried her to Tony's car, Tony's words of comfort while Clay sobbed in the waiting room of the hospital, thinking that he had lost the one thing her cared more about than his own life.

"By the time we got to the hospital, Hannah had lost even more blood, when the doctors took her. Her parents came not long after and we were together when the doctor came back saying she would live," he finished in that same emotionless tone.

More tears had been shed during Clay's tale, and he couldn't blame them. It was horrible.

"Thank you for that," said Mom, "I think that's all we need from you."

Clay nodded his head and stood up from the armchair before crossing around the table and out the door, not sparing anyone a look. When he got outside, Clay quickly fished out a calming pill to settle his nerves. He hated using them, especially the sleeping pills, because they left him feeling sluggish and pathetic for hours after, and Clay prided himself on having a sharp mind for school. It was because of the stupid pills that his grades at school had slipped.

Hannah followed him out not long after, and immediately the two embraced each other fiercely.

"Thank you," Hannah whispered in his ear.

"For what?' asked Clay, pulling away to get a look at Hannah. Her hair had grown down to her shoulders in the months since she woke up in the hospital, and it no loner framed her pale face. Clay preferred it when Hannah's hair was longer, but he couldn't deny that he thought Hannah looked beautiful even with shorter hair.

"For everything," answered Hannah, smiling sweetly at Clay while her eyes watered.

Clay ran a thumb under her eyes to wipe away the tears as he too smiled. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

oOoOoOo

"You know that we're never gonna get a confession out of him right?" said Zach.

Clay had invited Zach, Alex and Tony over to his place to hang out after his testimony. Clay and Alex were playing a video game, while Alex was stressing over a piece of homework he had brought over and Tony was sitting at the kitchen counter, nursing a cup of coffee.

"There's gotta be a way," muttered Clay, "just some way we can trick him into confessing."

"And how are you going to accomplish that Clay?" said Tony from across the room. "You're not exactly on speaking terms with the guy."

"What about-" began Clay, looking between Zach and Alex.

"No," cut in Alex.

"He hasn't invited us over to his place since we started hanging out with you," said Zach.

"It'd be suspicious if we suddenly decided to hang out with him again too."

"FINE! Then how the hell are we supposed to get Bryce alone?" yelled Clay, throwing his controller on the coffee table in frustration.

"I don't know. The dude's hardly ever alone unless he's making a drug deal," said Zach with a shrug.

"Wait a minute," said Clay, looking up suddenly as it dawned on him. He looked over at Tony. "Do you still have your tape recorder?"

"Yeah, why?" asked Tony, then comprehension dawned on his face as well. "No man. No fucking way."

"It's a good plan!" insisted Clay.

"He'll kill you if he finds out!" shouted Tony.

"Then that'll be just another crime to add to Bryce's list," snapped Clay.

Tony growled in frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Dude, please think this through. Everyone knows that you don't do drugs!"

"No they don't. They just know that I'm a shy person who never talks about himself and somehow scored the most beautiful girl in the school, maybe the town!" huffed Clay as folded his arms across his chest.

"Ugh, young love," groaned Tony. Meanwhile, Zach and Alex watched the exchange in confusion.

"Please Tony. I have to do this," pleaded Clay.

"Why?" said Tony.

"Because she's worth it.'

Tony gave Clay a skeptical look. "Worth dying over?"

Clay's expression hardened as he said, "Yes."

oOoOoOo

Clay pushed the button for the doorbell to the Walker's residence. It was a massive home in the richer part of the town's neighbourhood. He quickly unzipped his bag to make sure everything was in order and pressed record when he heard footsteps coming from the other side of the door. It opened up to reveal the hulking form of Bryce Walker, who was regarding Clay curiously.

"Clay Jensen?" said Bryce incredulously. "What are you doing here dude?" he said in that way jocks speak that set Clay's blood boiling.

"Oh I was just in the neighbourhood, thought I'd come say hello," replied Clay as calmly as he could.

"Cool man, cool," said Bryce. He folded his arms and leant against the doorway as he asked "What can I do for you man?"

"Oh! I uhhh," said Clay, looking behind him nervously. "I was wondering if you got any..."

"Weed?" finished Bryce. When Clay nodded the older boy grinned. "Sure dude, come on in," he said, waving Clay inside.

It was cold and dark inside, and if Clay were a superstitious person he would have thought it a bad omen. He followed Bryce into the lounge where he opened up a small wooden chest.

"What's your poison?" Bryce asked.

Poison? "Er... I don't really have a favourite. I'm not that fussy," said Clay.

Bryce regarded him for a second before he took out a small green pouch. "I think this'll do," he said. "You got the money?" When Clay didn't answer, Bryce laughed. "It's all good man. Just pay me back when you can."

"Thanks," said Clay, taking the offered pouch of weed and putting it in his pocket. Now's the time, he thought.

"Hey. I heard that Hannah went to one of your parties a couple months ago," he said nonchalantly.

"She did?" asked Bryce in confusion, then his face lit up in a smile that made the hairs on the back of Clay's neck stand up. "Oh yeah, she did. It was before..."

"Before she tried to kill herself," finished Clay.

"I'm really sorry about that man," said Bryce, actually sounding genuinely sorry.

"Me too," muttered Clay. "Do you know why?" he said then, a little louder to get Bryce's attention.

"To be honest, I have no idea," answered Bryce as he poured himself a drink of alcohol. "Glad she came to my party though, otherwise I would have missed out on having a lot of fun with her. I'll bet you have a lot of fun with her too, now that you're dating and all."

Clay ground his teeth but said nothing as he put his bag on the floor next to one of the armchairs carefully.

"She told me something a little differently actually," said Clay.

"Oh yeah?" asked Bryce curiously.

"Yeah, she said you hurt her," said Clay, openly glaring at the bigger boy now.

Bryce frowned. "And how did I hurt her?" he asked slowly.

"She said you raped her."

Bryce laughed then He actually laughed, like Hannah's rape was something funny. "Did she tell you that? Cause I only remember us having a lot of fun in the hot tub outside."

"Did you rape Hannah?" Clay growled, his hands clenching into fists at his side.

"Here, have a drink," said Bryce, ignoring Clay's question as he offered a drink to him.

"Did you rape Hannah?" Clay repeated.

"Listen man, it's a little rude to ignore when somebody offers you a drink," said Bryce lightly, but Clay could hear the warning.

"I just want to know. I need to know," said Clay angrily.

"Why? You wanna defend your girl?" mocked Bryce. "i think she was mine before you dude."

That set Clay off. Without a second thought, he launched a fist towards Bryce's face, the impact hard. Yet Bryce hardly flinched while Clay's hand ached horribly. This wasn't like when Clay attacked Justin.

"You really shouldn't have done that," Bryce said lowly, and before Clay had a chance to react, Bryce swung a massive fist and punched Clay.

The impact sent Clay staggering as his face exploded in pain. He was blinded by tears temporarily, but before he could recover, Clay felt another fist collide with his cheek, this one just as painful as the last. Then Bryce's fist slammed into his nose, then his other cheek, then his gut.

Again and again, Bryce continued his assault on Clay, who was so overcome with pain that he collapsed to his knees, gasping for air.

"Oh no no no no no. Get up man," Bryce cooed gently, reaching down to help Clay up off the floor. When Clay straightened up, Bryce punched him again in the gut and Clay buckled over, then another hit landed on his face.

Soon the tears in Clay's became mixed with blood, and the stinging made Clay's eyes feel on fire. He didn't have time to dwell on the sensation though, because Bryce kicked him in the side then, sending Clay sprawling on the floor.

"She wanted me. Me," sneered Bryce. "She was out there in her underwear looking fucking hot as hell. If that's rape then a lot of girls I've been with could say that."

"Like Jessica?" coughed Clay.

That earned him another kick to the gut.

"Shit man. You could have just taken the weed and left. But you had to get in things you had to business being in," laughed Bryce as he grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped the blood from his hands.

Clay could only cough blood onto the carpet in response.

"Come on man," said Bryce disappointedly and he grabbed another napkin then headed towards the kitchen.

Clay struggled to climb onto the armchair nearest him, the pain preventing him from moving too fast. Everywhere seared in agony on Clay's body, especially his face and stomach. Blood continued to dribble down Clay's head and he finally managed to sit in the chair.

Bryce returned with a packet of ice, which he handed to Clay.

"Dude! Mad respect bro," said Bryce with a smirk. "Not many dudes can take a beating like that from me and still get up."

"Thanks," Clay deadpanned, pressing the ice gently to his face.

Bryce then grabbed the glass of alcohol and handed it Clay, which he accepted this time. When he took a sip, he realised it was scotch.

There was silence for a few minutes, during which Bryce stared at Clay with a smirk while Clay tentatively sipped at his drink while pressing the ice to his face.

"Did... you rape... Hannah Baker?" rasped Clay, wincing as each syllable set his lungs on fire.

Bryce shook his head disappointedly. "Call it what you want."

"I need you... to say it," pressed Clay.

"Fine. Yes, I raped Hannah Baker. And Jessica Davis," said Bryce. "Doesn't matter though. It happened, people move on."

Oh, it will matter, thought Clay.

He did it. He had gotten what he wanted.

A/N- This chapter was actually so hard to write. I fucking hate Bryce with a passion. Like, how can you be so full of yourself that you can't even recognise that what you did to a girl was illegal and vile? This kind of shit is one of the things I hate most about our world.