I am genuinely sorry for putting off this story. I completely forgot about it and I'm so sorry. If you want me to be honest with you, I've just lost a close friend to suicide and writing a fanfiction about someone attempting to end their life wasn't really on my list of things to do. So I wrote some more upbeat stories in different topics of different characters, not even The Outsiders. I've decided that writing might actually help a little, and it is. It's like the ending I never got but oh so desired. Please enjoy.
Chapter 3-Introductions
James's POV:
I simply sat in the cold plastic hospital chair, thoughts racing through my mind. I really did push that kid over the edge, didn't I? I was just so pissed that his friend killed Bob. Bob was one of us, a Soc, and I wasn't gonna stand for someone murdering my kind and getting away with it. I couldn't bully the actual kid, so I went with his best friend.
Bully. Geez. That's what I am. I've become what I hated the most. I hope your proud Mom and Dad, because you've raised a monster in your household.
I would love it if I could go back in time, change what I did. But wishing can do much when it comes to reality. Anyone can dream, I guess it's just a matter of whether or not you're willing to do it when your eyes open. This whole time I've closed my eyes, blinded my heart. It's time that I open my eyes and allow my heart to take over, do what's right.
I was searching for revenge and he was searching for a friend. If only I wasn't too much of an insensitive prick to realize this. I need to make things right, but I don't know how.
As I came up with multiple methods I saw someone walked through the patient hallway doors. He looked familiar... Two-Bit! Boy do I need his advice again, I can't really figure this out myself.
"Two-Bit!" I called, waving at him with a warming smile. He was smiling, but once he saw me, the smile faded into a emotionless expression. What was it? Did I say something? I thought we had cleared everything up? Was...was he dead? Did the kid die? No, impossible. Why would he be smiling a second ago. Before I could answer my own question two other men walked out behind Two-Bit.
One looked tall, buff, he scared me. The other one was a tad bit short, not as buff, but he was handsome. I made quick assumptions and concluded that they are either friends or brothers. I don't have evidence to either answers. Either way, I'm assuming these are the guys Two-Bit said to avoid. In an instant, I knew I made a mistake.
"Whose your friend Two-Bit?" The handsome one joked as all three walked over, Two-Bit looked scared as ever. The handsome one suddenly stopped laughing, "Friend...Steve! God damnit I forgot to call Steve!" He seemed to freak out about whoever the hell this Steve guy was, "I'm gonna go call him, be right back y'all." He jitterly ran to the phone booth outside the waiting room and left Two-Bit and the scary dude with me. I stared back at them, my heart beating faster than a raccoon having a buffet through an old man's trash can.
"Who is your friend Two-Bit?" The scary one asked, confused but intrigued.
"N-No one. I just met him while I was waitin'. That's all, really." He stammered a bit. I doubt he was even convincing himself, I've noticed he's a terrible liar, good thing I can stay chill in these situations. I simply relaxed.
"Why you here kid?" He asked me and I saw no reason to lie.
"Got in a car crash with a few friends, waiting to hear on them." I informed him, showing him the white bandage that wrapped around my side.
"You've gotta be more careful." He warned me, as if he were my Father. Who does he think he honestly is? Did it ever occur to him that I wasn't the one driving! Was he really blaming me? Or was I thinking too far into this...? Is it because I'm a Soc? It's cause I'm a Soc isn't it!
"What do you know about car accidents anyways." I spat back at him, not too harsh because I fear he'd beat me to a pulp.
"More than you know kiddo," He shook his head, leaving me confused I waited for his answer, "My parents died in a car accident a year ago. So next time, careful with your assumptions." He warned me. In an instant I felt like a jerk, I had insulted this guy who lost his parents in a car crash. He must be Pony's older brother. Does that make the handsome one also his brother? Or a friend? I'm so confused and so embarrassed.
"I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to- I just- I'm sorry." I let out a deep breath, "I completely forgot that you guys lost your parents back in-" I stopped myself. I had said too much. Good going James. You really screwed this up. Oh God. I really wish this guy wasn't as smart as Pony. I pray that for some reason he doesn't have as good observation skills.
"What are you talking about? It's not like anyone told-" He stopped and looked over to Two-Bit, he put two and two together, I prepared myself for the shit storm Two-Bit was gonna endure, "Why the hell did you tell him?!?!" He yelled at Two-Bit.
"We-We were bonding!" He argued.
"Over my parents death! What the hell kind of bonding is that?" He yelled back.
"How was I supposed to know we were talking about the same kid!" Two-Bit yelled, giving too much information, but none of us caught it.
"Why the hell would be talking about my kid brother!?" The older brother yelled back.
"Because he felt bad! He had some sympathy! He actually realized what he did was wrong and that he shouldn't have done it! Some things people in his own family can't realize from their own actions!" Two-Bit yelled, I'm assuming something happened at home that I just didn't catch on to. Eh, that wasn't my business. But by the looks of the older brother, I could tell it was about to be.
"Are you really blaming this on me? That kid, that monster," He pointed to me as I hung my head in shame, wanting to avoid his eyes, "Drove my kid brother, the kid I love so much! To suicide! Kill himself! And you want to forget it?!?" He yelled louder at Two-Bit.
"I don't wanna forget it man! I want you to realize that this kid realized what he did was wrong! Are you gonna be pissed at him for wanting to change things!?!" Two-Bit yelled back fiercely.
"It's too late for things to change." He said calmly, but with a upsetting tone. In an instant he was facing me, I gulped a lump down my throat and waited for him to yell at me right then and there.
"You," he pointed at me, "You can go die in a hole for all I care. I hope you're happy for what you've done. Cause I'm sure not." He poked me in me in the chest and walked out of the room.
As the older brother left the room the other one walked in. Sliding past his brother he looked confused and looked at Two-Bit for an answer. Two-Bit tried to hide his mouth, but failed misterably.
'I'll tell you later.' He mouthed out. The brother nodded and walked over to me.
"I never caught your name kid." He shook out his hand to me. I took it gladly and shook it.
"James. James Smith." I nodded with a smile.
"Sodapop Curtis, but you can call me Soda." He informed me with a smile. He is definitely Pony's brother, "Who you waiting for?" He asked warmly.
"Couple friends. Got in an accident." I confessed, hoping for a better response than his older brothers.
"Hmm, that sucks. Hope everything turns out fine." He said kindly and all my worries dispersed.
"Who you waiting for?" I said, wanting to make it seem like I had no idea, it would only make sense to ask that question. But I knew, I had taken the wrong approach, Soda's smile faded away.
"Uh, waiting for my kid brother. He uh, got a few cuts, I guess." And I knew he was lying to me. But now I knew, the kid slit his wrists. Interesting way to go, I figured he'd overdose himself. Others always told me he'd take so many asprin before a track run. Guess there are things we don't really know about people.
"Stitches I assume?" Soda nodded with a smile, he really was a comforting guy, "Well, tell him I wish him the best man." I smiled back.
"I plan on it." He smiled at me and then turned to Two-Bit, "Come on. Let's go buddy." He nudged him as the two left.
I sat back down in the plastic chair, finally relaxing after a mentally stressful encounter. I want to make things right again. I truly do. Don't I? I've heard people say that one's past does not define them. But I've also heard people say that once a bully always a bully. Which one do I believe? It can't be both now can it? Do I accept my unwritten fate or do I write my own destiny and fix this? Do I really have to make a choice right now? I need to help. Advice. But who else would understand? No one would understand. Expect the other person in the situation...
I need to see him. Will they allow me to visit him? They allowed Two-Bit and Two-Bit's not family. But will I be back in time to get the news on my friends? Which one do I want to risk?
I can't risk my friends. They'll be too worried about me. I can see Pony another day, I can only catch up with my friend's health statuses one time, and that time is now.
"Mrs. Bollo and Mr. Harley?" I looked up to find a kind looking Nurse.
Her hair was fixed into a neat and very tight bun. Small strands on her cherry blossomed hair color stuck out on the sides. Her eyes were like an ocean of blue that you just desired to swim in but feared drowning in as well. Her face was soft and fragile. But her slim body was covered with a long white coat and her hands held out a clip board.
"Uh, yes? I'm here for them?" I awkwardly sat up and rushed over for the news.
"Mrs. Bollo was lucky to have only gotten moderate whiplash. She may experience frequent occurances of dizziness, muscle spasms, and trouble sleeping. But after no longer than a week of ice and pain killers she should be fine. We will be releasing her in a few minutes. As for Mr. Harley, he has seemed to shake up his frontal lobe. No internal bleeding or break, but definitely a mess up. So, he will be experiencing one, multiple, or none of these options. Memory loss, loss in functions, as well as expression confusion. We will have him stay the night for supervision but he should be out by tomorrow." She smiled a warm smile to me as I sighed out in relief.
"Thank you so much." I thanked her with a smile. She nodded at my appreciation as walked off to places unknown.
Not long after the Nurse left, Rachel walked out. A thick but soft wrap was placed around her neck and a few bruises roamed the parts of her neck that was exposed. When she saw me she smile a smile that look relieved. I was relieved to see that she was Ok, but still stuck on the whole case with Pony. But I need to let it slide for now if I don't want her suspecting anything. I'm not of importance right now, she is.
"James!" She exclaimed and hugged me.
"Hey Rach." I smiled and we soon broke off the hug, "They told me. Whiplash, huh?" I tilted my head and frowned. She nodded painfully.
"It could'a been worse." She shrugged it off. She always was so optimistic.
"I guess you're right." I nodded back.
"You?" She asked concerned.
"Just a few broken ribs. Nothing I can't sleep off." I showed her the clean wrap around my stomach. I seem to be showing that off to everyone now'a days.
"James..." She looked deep into my eyes. Damnit! I can't get anything past Rachel...can I? "What's wrong?"
I sighed out and looked down at the floor in shame, there was no point in keeping this from her.
"Ponyboy Curtis attempted suicide..." I blankly muttered out. I heard Rachel gasp out loudly.
"What? Why?" She almost stuttered out. There was no point in lying now. The truth would soon come out.
"I...I bullied him..." I felt even more ashamed that I was saying it out loud. Despite this I still looked up into her eyes.
Her expression quickly changed as she slapped me harshly across the face. A quick pain stuck and stung through my fragile skin as I quickly touched it. It sent a burning sensation to my hand as my head stayed in place from the harsh movement. I slowly and reluctantly moved to face her again, pushing off the pain. Rachel slapped me. She just slapped me.
Before I talk to her she stormed out of the room crying. Why was this hurting her?
Oh...I'm so stupid. I love Rachel. Rachel loves me. I thought we had something. I was just too scared to say anything. I doubt she'll want anything to do with me after knowing I drove a kid to suicide. The person she thought she loved is a silent murdered with his words. Other people shoot off someone brains with a gun. I cause kids to slit there wrist and end their precious lives with the single shot of my harsh words.
I don't think I'll be getting Rachel back. I've ruined too much and crushes too many. I could try to get her back? Bui doubt she'll forget this moment. No one would...
I aplogize if you find this chapter short, just know I did enjoy writing it. Please Review.