Chapter 18
~Who you are~

Morriana

We spent a week and a half at Redcliff cleaning homes, the castle, burning whatever bodies were left and getting people's lives in order as much as we could. Tegan and Isolde were out for a few days so their blood could replenish, but once they were on their feet it was as if nothing was wrong with them. The bloodstains were now gone, broken items were taken away and all the staff that had survived the blow helped. Most were elves, but I didn't know them. Isolde had told me most had come here form Highever, a long ways away.

I walked up the stairs to the arl's room, where Isolde and Tegan were with Alistair and Orrick in tow. Once I got there I saw Tegan turn to me and Isolde stand from where she was sitting on the bed where the ill stricken arl laid. Connor was on the floor looking through one of him picture books and ignored us.

"I still cannot believe it's over." Tegan said to me. Now, he didn't look so pale, as did Isolde. Both were in new cloths and looked better—much better—than before. "Connor seems to be his old self and doesn't remember a thing, which is a blessing."

"But my husband is still sick," Isolde's accent voiced through the room.

"Yes, that is true. We still need my brother, but I haven't any idea how to cure him." I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't know what. But, apparently I didn't have to.

"The urn," Isolde announced. "The Urn of Sacred Ashes will cure him!"

"But, isn't that only a myth?" I asked, looking to Alistair.

"It's our only chance." Alistair replied.

"You must seek out brother Genitivie. From last I heard her had come close to the ashes rest place. Perhaps he has already found it." Tegan explained.

"Then we will find him." Alistair said, immediately. "And the ashes."

"Agreed." I nodded. "We will head out tomorrow. I will let the others know." I turned on my heel and walked out, finding everyone else, Orrick following close behind. Wynne and Leliana were chatting in the library, and told me they would start packing tonight. It took me a while but I eventually found Sten in the practice yard and he said to me, as he swung his sword like it weighed nothing, that he had been packed for some time and had been waiting to leave. Have to say, there is no fore-play with this guy.

Morrigan, however, was nowhere in the castle. From what Leliana told me, after I asked when I couldn't find her, she was out looking for herbs. So I walked outside to the village to see if she could be there. As I passed the Redcliff in I heard someone talking and looked to see a cart with new mules, along with…dwarves? I walked over to them.

"Well, if it isn't our savior in Lothering!" the first said. What was his name? Oh yeah, Bodahn.

"Yeah, Bodahn and Sandal. How are you guys?" I said with a smile. Sandal came to Bodahn's side with a shy smile.

"Enchantment?" he said. I shook my head and he nodded, turning away to take care of the mules.

"We are doing fine, my lady, just stopped by here to restock."

"Of course," I nodded, looking at the crates they had yet to load.

"Now, I know you've all but save us once, but I would like to ask you a question."

"Sure. Anything."

"Well, the road's been mighty dangerous these days. But then I thought, 'what could be more safe than traveling with a Grey Warden'? So, I would like to ask if my boy and I could come along." I thought for a moment.

"Well, that would depend. Would we be able to use your cart when we need to and will you be able to stay out of danger when it strikes?"

"Certainly yes, and yes."

"Very well. Welcome aboard." He grabbed my hand and shook it so hard my entire body moved.

"Of thank you so much, you won't regret it." he let go and went straight to packing when I told him we would be leaving tomorrow. With a goodbye I started away. Not wanting to go back to the castle just yet. So I headed down to the docks.

The water was beautiful. It was glittered against the light of the sun and it was clear. I could see the fish swimming about and the ships to the distance. It was so calming and peaceful here. It was on rare occasions that I was able to get out of the Alienage, and even Denerim, but whenever I did the water was the first place I wanted to be. Sure I couldn't swim well…or at all, but I loved to feel and sight of it. The ponds and small lakes wherever we made camp were not compared to the sight of a beautiful place like this. I bent down and picked up a rock, skipping it four times in the water before it sank down. I smiled and skipped another.

Alistair

I walked out of the castle and to the village. The witch returned and Morriana had been out for an hour and a half without a word of coming back. I figured maybe I could find her. I don't know why, but I felt some kind of…overprotectiveness over her since I first met her. Or maybe I happened after I found out about her scares. Either way, I followed the blood pull to the docks, where I saw her skipping rocks.

"Hey," I said as I walked to her. She simply nodded in greeting but then went back to skipping rocks. "Listen," I said after a moment of silence. "I want to talk about what happened here." She stopped and looked at me.

"Why? I think it worked out alright, don't you?"

"Well, yes, but, still I want to talk."

"Okay, we're talking, aren't we?" I blew breath, ignoring her jest.

"I just wanted to thank you. For doing what you did to save the arl's family. Even when you thought you couldn't you still tried." She turns to me with a smile.

"I wasn't just going to simply let everyone die, Alistair. Even when it would have been easiest. That would be unfair." I nod and bite my lip.

"I also wanted to thank you for not treating me differently when I told you I was Maric's son." She lifts an eyebrow and folds her arms.

"Yes that was something I wanted to talk about.

"Oh…" she unfolds her arms and takes a step forward.

"come here." She demands and leads me closer to the water and makes me kneel down. "Look in the water." I do and see the sand beneath the waving water. But if I looked closely I could see my reflection. "What do you see?"

"Sand? Water?" I reply. She shakes her head.

"What do you see?" She asks again.

"My reflection?" I look at her and she gives me a plain look and then looks back down at the water.

"What do you see in that reflection?" Is this a joke? I can obviously see myself. "Try this: What do you see when see yourself?"

"I see an ex-templar turned Grey Warden. I see a warrior…"

"What else?" Might as well be honest.

"…a bastard prince that nobody really wants." I admit quietly. When she doesn't reply I look at her and see her smiling.

"But that's not true." She states. My brows knit together in confusion.

"Alistair, you have always gone with what people have said, haven't you?" I nod, hesitantly to what is going on here. "The way you think you can't lead, the second guessing and you think you're unwanted. But, truly, you're not any of that."

"What do you mean?" she moves to sit on her heels.

"Alistair, you're a funny, and kind person. You can lead, but you just don't think you can, but I've seen it." She looks off to the castle with an almost dreaming look. "'*Every man is born of many men, but dies as only one.*' My father taught me that." She looks back at me, more serious this time. "Perhaps it's time you figured out who you are.

"Right now you are separated by two people. On one side is who you really are, the other is who people tell you who you are and you simply follow it. Right now you are more on the side of people telling you who you are instead of what you want to be. So you need to decide to either cross the bridge, or remain where you stand." I took in what she said. No one had ever really given me a chance to let me decide what I want to be. Everything was always decided for me, from the minute I was born. It was as if I had no control over it. But right now, Morriana was giving me that chance. I looked back in the water; back at my reflection.

At the corner of my eye I saw Morriana stand and being to walk away, maybe giving me time to figure it out. I stood quickly; so fast she jumped. No more. I turned to her, and she looked at me, confused. I walked over to her and stood in front of her. I took a step closer, so that we were nearly touching. I looked in her eyes and she looked in mine. They gleamed in the sunlight, which in turn just brightened her face. I slowly reached out a hand and placed it on her cheek. I felt it slightly stiffen, but she made no move to protest.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly. I smiled and leaned closer.

"Crossing the ditch." I don't remember the last time I was so daring—if there ever was a time—but I came closer and my lips touched hers. A wave of sparks just flew through me and my heart skipped a beat. I heard her softly gasp, but she did not move. I kissed her lips, though hers did not move. She was slightly tense, and I could feel it. Did I make a mistake? Had I gone too far? I began to move away, but stopped when I felt her lips kiss mine.

I leaned down again and our lips met. She kissed me back and made a small moan. Her arms came around my neck and moved one arm around her waist. I felt so entranced. Still feeling a bit daring, I slowly push my tongue in her mouth, which she eagerly greets with hers. I didn't know how long we were there, and, frankly, I didn't care, but we both parted for breath. Our foreheads touched as we panted, arms still around each other. Maker she was so beautiful! She's just amazing! What did I ever do to deserve her?!

She pulled away to look at me. She moved her arms and placed her hands on both of my cheeks, her lips breaking into a huge smile.

"I thought you said you hadn't been with a girl before." She said, still breathing heavily. I chuckled as I remembered when we had helped the Circle Leliana decided to want to know me and asked me if there was ever a girl. When I had said "no" I think I saw her give a small glance toward Morriana and a smile. And now that I think back I swear I hear her say under her breath "yet". She was a rouge, after all, so she must have noticed this coming.

"I haven't."

"Why don't I believe you?" Her voice seemed to have gotten slightly deeper, more flirtatious. I smiled.

"I guess I'm just that awesome." She giggled and kissed me again. Maker, her lips were so soft, despite being a bit chapped, and she tasted so sweet.

"Perhaps we should be getting inside, before everyone starts looking for us." I wanted to refuse. I would have just stayed here for the rest of the day and night. But, the others finding us like this would mean a lot of teasing. Especially from Morrigan.

"I see your point." I dropped my arms and she pecked my lips.

"Good, then I don't have to repeat myself." I chuckled and took her hand, leading her back to the castle, wondering how I managed to be so bold and why I hadn't done this sooner.

Yes, yes I know. FINALLY they decide to do this. But, of course, more is still to come (GIVES EVIL LAUGH)

Thanks to the cool reviews so far!

10 points to guess where the ** is from and who said it. ;)