A/N: Obsession-a relentless occupation of mind. (taken from the script of the show).
Another short chapter.
I am going to call Stahl's wife "M" because Marta just rings wrong for some reason.
Also, I have a request for you all-Stahl needs a new occupation work-wise. He is not returning to FBI. Any suggestions are welcome. I am looking to pick one closest to his character traits, old ones or developing.
Obsession. His mind is relentlessly spinning the same scenes, over and over again: the time at the bar when he first saw and heard her in person. Seeing her busted with gravel under her knees, wrists cuffed. The question- and- answer session at the warehouse later that day. And the night of the recital when she truly defied him for the first time. And oh, he got angry, so very very angry and when he gets like that he is not very nice. And it only got worse from there -he began to feel an insatiable purely physical need, a current, every time she was near. That feeling-it was so powerful that just a picture or a thought of her was enough to inflame him. His fantasy, never tiring, painstakingly haunted his every step. She was with him when he was alone in his bed, cold and naked, imagining how slick and warm she would be. She was with him in the shower with her firm glistening skin and his taste on her tongue. She hung out at work ,without a doubt, and, simply, on a bench in the park.
He could go on and on ticking off days, weeks of this obsession, but also details. Details that should never belong on an asset. He soon knew what her hair looked like dry, wet and in-between. Her mostly sad smiles, sharp tongue, her cursing and fire in those consuming eyes. He should have known better. And the truth is he did. He just didn't want to fight it. For all his desire to control everything he let this thing happen, let it go on, unchecked, until it almost destroyed both of them. Selfish bastard. Why couldn't he choose someone else? Someone safe? Anyone, anywhere ? She herself pointed out the girl at the coffee shop to him but by then it was too late. And now, having pushed her away, he has to deal with it...but this mental churning- it is not dealing.
To make matters worse, the nights are not completely his either. He dreams of her every night, while his wife is laying beside him. M is so pale and thin and so god-damn fragile it's nauseating. But he is calm and respectful, at least on the surface-it's not her fault, afterall. So although he dreams, his sleep is not restful and his eyes are so red that he looks like an addict. And he is-he is addicted to her.
M is not dense. This time the change in him is akin to gentle, guarded caution, and she understands that something needs to be said.