This chapter is set parallel to NME chapter 35, the weekend after the Arael fight.

Kaworu looked out over the lake as he skipped stones into its clear water, seeing the morning sun reflecting off its surface. He was miserable. Despite his earlier promise to himself, he had let Shinji suffer the blows from his brother. And once again, he had been forced to take the life of his sibling for NERV. Was this the cost of his new life? That he would suffer in silence? He thought of Mana and Kensuke. His hopes seemed to be tied to them; they anchored his thoughts and gave him joy. But with those thoughts came the inevitable feelings of fear. He was like Arael – he would never stop wanting to unite with his mother, he would never be free of this insatiable need. A cold creeping thought inched into Kaworu's mind like a worm. Maybe it would be better if I just disappeared? Kaworu's introspection was interrupted by a voice from behind him. He turned around to see his fellow pilot, Touji Suzuhara, waving at him.

The boy approached. As usual, he was wearing his standard sweat suit and jacket. Kaworu sighed. Touji had also suffered in the last battle due to his indecision. And while their confrontation on the night of the party still seemed to linger over them, Kaworu felt for the boy. Unlike the rest of his fellow pilots, Touji had a family to think of, a young sister that NERV was helping treat at the cost of Touji's continued cooperation. The thought made him slightly sick. The lilims' endless capacity for apathy towards their fellows disgusted him. As Touji got closer, he could see he had a complicated expression, as if quite conflicted.

"There you are," Touji said. "Been looking all over for you. Listen…" He breathed, steadying himself. "I think we should talk."

Kaworu assumed he meant about the battle. "I am sorry that you were hurt yesterday, Suzuhara. I know that this is a great burden on you."

Touji shrugged, trying to look disaffected. "It's alright, you were hit pretty hard by that thing yourself. And that while trying to save Shinji, so at least you were useful. I feel terrible that I never seem to be able to help." He looked sullen for a moment. "But don't worry about that. Besides, you did everything you could to save me. That's all anyone can ask." The words stabbed into Kaworu like knives. His feelings of guilt and shame over his actions returned tenfold. Touji seemed to pick up on his demeanor and shifted the conversation. "Anyway, that was not what I wanted to talk with you about."

Kaworu perked up, interested. "What did you wish to discuss then?"

Touji shifted, clearly uncomfortable. "I wanted to talk about you and Kensuke."

Kaworu was surprised. "Oh?" Kaworu was unsure as to why some forms of love and affection were scorned while others were lauded. Why Touji had been angry that his friend had found happiness.

Touji looked at Kaworu earnestly. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I was shocked and angry, but that doesn't really excuse it. After all you did yesterday and sticking up for me against Akagi..." Touji sighed. "You have been far nicer to me than I deserved."

Kaworu smiled. "I understood your shock. It is never easy to learn that someone close has kept something from you. I harbour no ill will towards you, Suzuhara, and I don't think Kensuke does, either. But if it means anything to you, I accept your apology."

Touji smiled back and let out a sigh of relief. "That means a lot. And about Ken, you really mean that?"

Kaworu nodded. "It seems to me that he misses his friend. I think if you two talk about it, you can work it out." Kaworu sincerely hoped that they could reconnect. The idea that this would separate the two forever was almost too sad to think about.

Touji sighed. "I just don't know how to talk to him. It feels like so much has changed between us."

Kaworu laughed. "Has it? I admit, I have not known Kensuke for long but I can't imagine him being very different. Yes, his... preferences may be surprising, but I doubt you really put too much thought into his romantic prospects before now."

Touji thought about that. Let it roll over in his mind. "I guess not. I mean, I don't know." He began to smile "Is he still a huge dork?"

Kaworu laughed earnestly. "Do not have any doubt on that, Suzuhara. I am an Eva pilot and sometimes the way he goes on about robots and hardware confuses even me."

Touji laughed along, thinking of his friend's eccentricities. "He certainly speaks in a language all his own sometimes." He picked up a rock and attempted to mimic Kaworu's skipping technique. Predictably, it failed to bounce once, instead landing with a splash. "I wish Ken were here right now. I would... I would say–"

Kaworu put a hand on his shoulder "I was going to meet him and Mana later today, if you would like to join us. It would give you a chance to explain, before things between you get too settled to heal."

Touji rubbed the back of his neck. "I would love to, but me and my dad are visiting Sakura in the hospital. We try and see her as much as possible, especially these days."

Kaworu perked up. "By some coincidence, we are going to the NERV hospital as well. Mana called me earlier and suggested that we visit Shinji. I am sure that he could use friends right now."

Touji suddenly remembered Shinji and the state he was in after the last battle. "Ah man, I'm sure. I'll try to say hello as well. I know we aren't as close as we used to be. Soryu and Ayanami seem to take up all his time these days." He drifted off, perhaps internally regretting not reaching out sooner. "But I should make the effort. He has saved my life a dozen times now, it seems."

Kaworu smiled. "Then I will meet you there. I am sure he would be delighted to see his friends there to support him."

Sensing the conversation had run its course, the two began to walk in their separate directions. Touji suddenly stopped, though, seeming to remember something. He turned and ran back over to Kaworu. "One more thing: Just 'cause you're an Eva pilot doesn't mean I won't beat you senseless if you hurt my friend. Got that?" He held up a fist.

Kaworu laughed. Touji seemed to be a creature of passion, ever eager to face a problem head-on with his fists. Still, while he thought the gesture was foolish, Kaworu understood the intent behind it and admired the boy's loyalty to his friend. He took a moment to formulate a response. "I will try my best to do right by your friend, Suzuhara. You have my word." This seemed to appease the Fourth Child. And so, with an exchange of pleasantries, the two separated, agreeing to meet later on.

Mana sat on the bus with her two new companions, holding a bouquet of roses in an awkward silence. All three of them seemed lost in their own thoughts. For Kensuke, it seemed to be how he would react to his friend Touji's apology, whether to embrace it or to be scolding and where to go from there. Kaworu was inscrutable, but Mana guessed he was worried about the battle the day before and about his actions during it. Mana had learned in the time she knew Kaworu that, while he often played the undying optimist, there was often a twinge of pain behind his eyes.

He is like me. Unable to ever be completely open with others. And that was the root of her sadness now, because while she felt for her classmate's pain, Mana had no real desire to see Shinji. No, the reason she was here now was that she had been ordered to. It was another effort to get her into Shinji's good books, to play the cute funny girl with a crush. Even the roses were her CO's idea: She would show up with them and then realize too late that roses meant romance, not friendship. She would then giggle and say that they were whatever Shinji wanted.

Mana shuddered. Shinji was a nice boy; he had to have saved her and all of Tokyo-3 half a dozen times already. He did not deserve to be manipulated like this. And what was worse was that she had to do it in front of the people she really wanted. All the while she was with Kensuke and Kaworu, she would have to play the stupid little schoolgirl to Shinji. She looked at Kaworu and asked what was wrong. She knew with Kensuke that there was nothing to be done until they reached the hospital and therefore Touji. But if Kaworu was worried about something piloting-related, he could confide in them.

Kaworu looked at his two new loves. "Something Asuka said on the day of the test has been bothering me." When neither of the two spoke up, Kaworu continuedm "I had hoped that Dr Akagi would see reason. That Asuka's passion would cut through her cold professionalism and reveal a humanity underneath." Kaworu sighed "I was unfortunately mistaken. It seems that this was the final straw on a very beleaguered camel. I fear this will not end quietly."

Mana nodded. She knew all too well what happened when people in authority believed they were free to do as they wished to people like Asuka. The results were not pretty. "So what is going to happen?"

Kaworu shrugged, unsure. "It appears that we pilots have formed an impromptu coalition. Together, we stood up to Dr Akagi and were spared the test, but..."

Mana looked confused "But?"

Kensuke stepped in, his eyes sharp "But the pilots only have one card to play. NERV holds all the power here, save one thing. Only the pilots can pilot. I don't know why exactly, none of the explanations NERV releases to the public make any sense, but..." He looked very serious. "In the end, only you," Kensuke looked Kaworu in the eyes, "Can make those machines run. And if you refuse to pilot, then there is nothing that NERV can do to replace you. Especially if what you said about the other pilots agreeing to follow suit is true."

Mana looked stunned. On the one hand, she was horrified by the implications; on the other, she was a bit jealous. How many time in her life would she have done anything for some privacy, some dignity, some basic humanity? Mana could not blame Asuka; she knew what it was like to be pushed so far. Still, she also knew how unreasonable some people were, how demanding. What if NERV did not back down? What if Asuka and the pilots were forced to choose between themselves and the people they protected?

"Do you think NERV will cave?" she asked.

Kensuke cut in angrily. "How can you say that? These are people's lives! Touji is visiting his sister, who was injured by an angel attack as we speak. And that happened even with an Evangelion defending the city. Imagine what one would do with nothing to stop it."

He seemed quite impassioned. And while Mana sympathized with him, she also felt Kensuke was being unfair. He had never been forced to do the things she had done, never been poked and prodded and robbed of all power. Was it really so bad to they use the one thing available to them?

Kaworu was lost. He did not want to put innocent lives at risk, especially now, as he had so much to lose. It made him think of the the way SEELE's councillors acted, who had little qualms to sacrifice people like pawns in a chess game, and it made him sick to think in those terms. But at the same time, he did not want to give up any power the pilots had in claiming dignity. He had spent his life like that, as nothing but an object to examine and then set loose. Kaworu was not used to the feeling of anger, but he knew what he felt when he thought of Kiel and his companions.

Mana looked at Kaworu with sympathy. She knew he was feeling torn between his fellow pilots and his partners. His fellow pilots and his own morals. "I... I can't tell you what to do, Kaworu." She reached out to hold his hand. "But whatever you decide, I know you'll follow your heart."

Kensuke calmed himself and took Kaworu's other hand, smiling. "Yeah, I'm sure you'll figure something out."

Kaworu smiled at his new loves. A silent understanding passed between them. They spent the rest of the bus ride like that, connected. As the bus filled, they got a few odd looks from their fellow commuters. They did not mind, though, not really – they had each other..

The official NERV hospital was an unassuming grey building close to the Geofront for easy access to the base. Large lots seemed empty; indeed, the building itself seemed cold and foreboding to look at. There was nothing individual about it; it was just another NERV structure in a city full of them.

At the checkpoint, Kaworu presented his identification to a guard. The guard gave the three a brief, odd look. It probably did not happen often that a single NERV employee was bringing two minors with him. In the end, though, he said nothing and simply let them pass. The three could thus soon see that the hospital's insides were very much like its outside. There were little signs of life beyond the occasional scuttling nurse or tired technician.

Kaworu whistled aloud. "It's so empty; there seems to be nothing but hallways and rooms full of machines."

Kensuke chuckled. "I should be grateful for that, I suppose. My dad's company sells medical equipment to people like NERV." Kensuke tried to put on a fun face. But the truth was he had hated hospitals ever since his mother had gotten sick years ago. Ever since then, he associated them with despair and death.

Kaworu looked at the cold waiting area, searching for a secretary or nurse of some kind to point them in Shinji's direction. "I hope that Touji and his father have better luck navigating this place. We should ask them if we see them."

That caught Kensuke's attention "Wait, Touji's dad is coming here too?"

Kaworu shrugged. "Did I not say that? I am sorry, I must have forgotten. Touji said the two of them would be visiting his sister."

Kensuke looked stressed. "Toiji's dad is... there is something you should know about him before you meet."

As the three searched for a nurse of some kind to show them the right way, Kensuke outlined the occupation of his friend's father. Mana seemed shocked. "He's a yakuza!?"

Kensuke frantically tried to shush her. "Tell everyone, why don't you? Look, I have known Touji for a long time. And I've met his father dozens of times. He is... well I'm not gonna say he's perfect, he'd certainly not approve of what we're doing, but... He loves his family, and he tries his best to take care of them."

Mana seemed unconvinced. "Still..." She did not need to point out the elephant in the room. That the three of them had been attacked by thugs that may well have been Yakuza days earlier. Afterwards, on her wayhome, Mana had made a quick call to her CO and the police, but the incident still hovered in her mind.

"I… doubt that Touji's dad had anything to do with what happened last week," Kensuke tried to reassure Mana. "According to Touji, he has been angry at NERV over them scooping up his son and threatening to cut off care for his daughter. I highly doubt he would be okay with some of his guys trying to rough up some kids. Especially when one is a pilot like his son."

Kaworu was unsure about this. He admitted he was ignorant of Japan and its relation with organized crime. He did not approve in a general sense, but was confused as to what to do. He decided that he would meet this man before making any concrete judgments.

Mana huffed. "It sounds like you are defending him."

Kensuke shrugged and conceded the point. "Just... Try to hear him out. He's here to visit his daughter, so there is no need to antagonize him."

Mana scoffed, but kept quiet. Finally they found someone who looked like he could help them. However, after several attempts to search through the hospital's patient list on a tablet he carried, the nurse could only shrug. It appeared that while the Third Child had been scheduled to be evaluated and that a room had been set aside for him, he was not currently residing in the hospital.

Mana sighed as the nurse walked off down the hall to continue his business. "I guess Misato just took him back to their apartment." Internally, she was relieved. With a contented sigh, she walked over to a nearby trash can and tossed the bouquet in. She smiled as it let out a satisfying thunk.

"That's good, right?" Kensuke pondered. "I guess that means he is okay. I wonder if we will see him on Monday?"

Kaworu was less convinced. He had been there when his brother brutalized Shinji's mind. He had watched as they pulled him from EVA-01, a sobbing mess. More likely was that Shinji simply was injured in a way that the doctors here could not heal, or even only explain. Kaworu was sure that Shinji was in good hands, though. He could tell that he shared a special bond with Asuka and Rei. The way they moved in tandem, the way they protected each other and brought out the best in each other… It was something he only hoped he could achieve with his loves.

Toshiro Suzuhara was a complicated man. So much of his profession required him to look tough, to act with authority and to make hard decisions. He was not one for subtlety or subterfuge; he left the grand plans up to his oyabun. His was a face not out of place on a wanted poster or a police line up. His large frame and muscled body were tools for when things got rough. And they often did. So it would surprise many to see the gangster completely content, holding his daughter in his arms as he read her a story about a rabbit's trip to the beach.

After he had finished, he put the book down next to a stack of others on a table next to Sakura's bed. He let her rest in his arms a moment, thinking on the last few months. It had been the hardest thing he had ever faced to see his child like this. To watch her suffer and unable to do anything. Inside, he felt guilty. Ever since Haruna's passing, all he had wanted was for their children to have a better life than they'd had. For them to have more opportunities than their parents had been granted. And yet… here he was, holding one of his children in his arms as she lay sick while the other stood outside, where he may be called to fight and die on his behalf at a moment's notice. He had been disgusted by the way that NERV had used his son, snatching him away when he could not protect him and blackmailing him into piloting. The worst part was that he could not stop it. He needed NERV's help – Sakura's condition was too fragile. He would not risk her health. All he could do was vent his frustration at NERV through his men – make them pay for their arrogance and their pride.

When he felt Sakura begin to doze, Toshiro got up from her side. He would have preferred to stay, but the doctors all said that too long visits tired her out, and that she needed rest.

"You going, daddy?" Sakura yawned.

"For now, princess. You should get some sleep." Toshiro tried to be strong for his daughter. It would do no good for her to see him weak.

Sakura could barely keep her eyes open. "Okay..."

Toshiro went to the chair beside her bed and picked up the black jacket he had placed there. He looked back at Sakura. "You be good now, and do those homework books your teacher gave you. I want you to grow up smart."

Sakura whined. "But they are so boring. And there is no one here to help me."

Toshiro swallowed. He tried to be here as often as he could, but with all the uncertainty recently, what with the angel attacks and now the conflict with NERV, his boss had been leaning on him hard to secure their gumi's place. "Come on," he said, trying to smile, "be a good girl for daddy."

Sakura smiled. "Okay, if you say so." She lay back on her bed, dizzy.

Toshiro left the room with a sigh, giving Touji a nod. There was not much to say at this point; all they could do was hope and wait. Two hallways down, the father and son turned a corner to come face-to-face with Touji's fellow pilot Kaworu and his two compatriots.

Touji reacted with some surprise. "Nagisa, Kensuke… Kirishima?" Touji had not interacted very much with the girl, only seeing her in passing at the party. He assumed that she and Kaworu had taken a liking to each other when they toured the city.

Toshiro looked at the gray-haired boy "Nagisa? This is the pilot you mentioned before? Kaworu Nagisa?"

Touji nodded. "He was the one who tried to help me save Shinji."

Toshiro loomed forward toward the angel.

Kaworu was unsure what to say, instead sticking out his hand in polite greeting. "It is good to meet you, Mr. Suzuhara."

Toshiro took the boy's hand and pulled him into an embrace. Kensuke and Mana gave each other a questioning look. Suzuhara Senior simply laughed. "No need to be so formal, boy, you and my son are brothers in arms! The way he tells it, you saved his life." He let go of the confused Kaworu, patting him on the shoulder before turning his attention to Kaworu's associates. "Good to see you here, Ken. You friends with Kaworu here, too?" He then looked Mana over, trying to place her "And I don't believe we have met, either. You are?"

Mana perked up, her bubbly facade returning to the surface. "Mana Kirishima, sir. It's good to meet you. I am a friend of Kaworu and Kensuke's."

The five made their way to the entrance, talking all the way. Toshiro had no shortage of praise for Kaworu for helping his son. And no shortage of things to say about NERV either once it was clear that Kaworu held little loyalty to the organization. Mana explained why they had come, and how they had now been left a bit in the wind. Kensuke and Touji, it seemed, were having their own conversation expressed entirely through looks and glances. As they reached the edge of a vacant lot containing a black station wagon, Toshiro grinned, an idea playing in his head.

"I am sorry about your friend. I know how hard it is to see a comrade injured. I want to show you my appreciation for saving my son."

Kaworu had long since abandoned the idea of insisting to the senior Suzuhara that he had not in fact saved his son – the man did not want to hear it. Now he wondered what Suzuhara senior had meant by his comment. "Really, there is no need."

Toshiro laughed. "Nonsense. Who would not like a reward for their efforts? Don't worry, it's nothing big, just a night in town on me. What do you say?"

Kaworu looked at Kensuke and Mana before answering. Kensuke seemed fine with it, while Mana… "Would you like to come as well, Mana? It would not be as fun without you."

Mana considered things for a moment. She was still unsure about Mr. Suzuhara, but wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. The way he talked about his children made her a bit jealous. She had never had a parent who would fight for her like that. After a moment, she nodded and off they went.