*****WARNING RUDE WORDS AND AN INTENSE CHAPTER*********

Dean came downstairs at midday on the Sunday. He had heard his family leave for the day, deciding to take Jake out for a walk. It wasn't fair for a 4 year old to be stuck in the house.

He walked into the kitchen to make a sandwich when he saw his brother doing the exact same thing. This was the first chance he had had in a week to be with his brother alone. He loved his little brother with all his might. They were best friends growing up. Mary and John joked that they were more like twins with their own separate language then brothers with a 4 year age gap.

As they had grown older, Dean was so proud at the man Sam had become. His family and his career were everything both had dreamed of as kids. But as everything was going well with Sam, Dean couldn't help but feel a distance grow between them. Unanswered phone calls and texts, visits to their house consisted of Dean just seeing Jess and Jake. Presents and Cards being one way. Dean didn't know what he had done to cause the Sam shaped hole in his chest. It had gone so far as the only text Dean sent Sam every month for a year was "Sammy, I'm Sorry for what I've Done, Please talk to me" he simply copied and pasted it every first of the month, but he had gained no reply. This was his opportunity to build some bridges he didn't know how he had destroyed.

"Hiya Sammy"

Sam looked up and nodded in response

"Great minds" Dean indicated Sam sandwich "I'm starving, I would have made you one. If I had known you were still here. How come you didn't go out with the others?"

"Didn't fancy it"

There was silence whilst Dean made his sandwich and a drink and sat down to eat his food.

"They all gone to the park?"

Sam nodded

"God we used to love it there"

Nothing

"You still got that scar on your leg, from when you went down the metal slide in a million degrees of heat and it burned you"

Sam nodded

"Sam this one way conversation is really not that fun"

"Then stop talking"

"wow that the most words you've send to me in over a week…o no wait…my mistake, that's the most words you've spoke to me in over 2 years" his temper getting the better of him.

Sam sighed and went to stand up; Dean did the same but stopped in front of Sam.

"What the hell happened to you Sammy"

"To me! Yeah it's me with the issue Dean"

"actually it is Sam, I have made every effort to speak to you. How can I know what I've done so wrong if you won't tell me"

Sam just rolled his eyes

"Don't do that, just talk to me man"

"Get out of my way Dean"

"No"

"Move"

"I said no"

"You know, I'm not some little kid that you can boss me around anymore"

"When the hell did I boss you around"

"that's cute Dean"

"you know these snide little remarks are funny and all but I would really like to get down to what is really up your arse"

"sorry I forgot, we are all here for you…poor Dean has fucked up again and expects everyone to drop what they are doing and save his arse"

Dean was dumbfounded by this comment whilst Sam continued

"I wasn't surprised you know, my brother the paedophile, this might finally get everyone to see you for what you truly are…scum" Sam spat in Deans face.

Dean felt as if his brother had just punched him in the gut "wh..what did I ever do to make you hate me so much that you could think, I would do something like that" he could feel the tears in his eyes but he wouldn't let them drop

"Sorry Dean, that I'm speaking the truth. I'm not longer taking your side – you know like you never took mine!"

"I have always took your side, when we were kids I took you punishments when you did something wrong"

"this isn't about us being kids!"

"Then what is it?"

"Jess"

"what about Jess?"

"Do you remember nearly 5 years ago, Jess and I were going through some issues and she decided she needed some space; moved out for a few weeks. In swoops hero Dean to save the day"

Dean is trying to recall what Sam was talking about when it clicked. 5 years ago, Jess has rang him up in floods of tears saying that her and Sam had a massive fight and that she needed a place to stay. He had offered his place but had checked with Sam if it would be ok and he thought it would be a good idea. It wasn't the best memory as he collected his red eyed little sister and helped her with her bags. She had spent 2 weeks solid at his house crying her eyes out, confessing how much she "loved your stupid brother". Dean had been in contact with Sam the whole time; ensuring he knew what his was missing if he let a woman like Jess slip through his fingers.

Sam was panting heavily now, red faced!

"yeah Sammy I remember.."

"you also remember a few months after she returned she shockingly announced she was pregnant with Jake"

The room went silent and Sam eyes filled with tears. Dean felt like hit by a ton of bricks when he realised what Sam was insinuating.

"best moment of my life, Dean. I was going to be a Dad, but I'm not am I? You are"

Dean felt sick – "you can't be serious"

"I didn't even think about it until he was 2 when it clicked. Who was he turning into. He was a spitting image of my amazing big brother"

"Sam, this is ridiculous"

Sam's crying now

"the more I came to realise the more I hated you. My hero had stabbed me in the back! But what could I do I loved the little boy that ran round my feet calling me Dad! So I did the only thing I could do. I cut my Hero off. No communication, no late night brotherly chats over phone, no nothing. I don't have a brother anymore. Yet I couldn't make my family notice this. O no, Jess went mad when she caught me throwing out your gift for his 3rd birthday, so she started having you visit sneakily. Letting her baby daddy come over when her husband wasn't home"

Dean can't breathe, he is crying alongside his brother. He has wanted to know the reason for years now why Sam was no longer his best friend.

Breathing heavily he responded "now you listen to me Sam and you listen hard. Jess came round my house and spent 2 weeks crying over the love of her life. I offered my house to my baby sister who was a mess. You hear me, my baby sister"

"Right…"

"yeah right, I wouldn't touch her Sammy"

"Don't lie to me Dean"

"listen to what you are saying, not only are you accusing me. But you are accusing your wife! When Jess returned to you after staying at mine, did you and her 'rekindle your marriage' Einstein?"

Sam is silent and Dean continues

"Let's forget Jess for a moment and I am going to be extremely selfish here. Do you know what you have put me through for 2 years? My brother, my best mate, just stops speaking to me and I haven't got a clue why and it turns out its some conspiracy theory he has concocted in his head without speaking to me about it. Sam…If you had just talked to me 2 years ago we could have solved all of this"

Dean steps forward and reaches out to Sam who steps back and eyes darken

"nice try"

"I cannot believe you do not believe what I am saying and believe what I am being accused off"

"Woe is me Dean, it's always about you!"

With that Dean lost it, he grabbed Sam and launched him against the wall with forearm pressed against his chest.

"Listen to me you little shit! My life has never been about me. From the age of 4 – since you came into my life it's been dedicated to you. Mom and Dad worked their asses off at work to provide for us but it was me that raised us both. I raised my baby brother; cleaned his diapers, made him his food, comforted him when he was sick, took care of the bullies, helped him with his homework. Not once thinking about myself! So don't you dare think I have ever thought about me you prick! Every breath I took was for you to keep you save. I sacrificed my childhood for my best friend in the whole world and what does he do in return – Kicks me to the fucking Kerb. You want nothing to do with me, you have your wish! I am not fighting for us anymore Sam. So you can fuck right off"

"I might just do that Dean, take my family away and make sure you never see them again. I know why I'm really here. You think I am going to pull your lame ass out of the fire and be your lawyer, you have another thing coming."

"I didn't even ask you to be here Sam, Mom did. Take your family and go if that's how you truly feel you selfish prick"

Tears are coming down both of their faces but it's a sob from the doorway that grabs their attention. They turn to see Jake standing at the door crying.

"I for..forgot my ball" Jake runs off with both men calling after him.