Disclaimer: I don't own the Lost Boys. I only desperately wish I did.
A huge thank you goes out to ShiplessOceans, ZoopBooper, Shrugs, and MurderIsMyPassTime for your reviews. Your encouragement and kind words are what keeps me going!
When I finally felt brave enough to venture out from under my bed, and it became clear I wasn't going to float to the ceiling like a Willy Wonka experiment gone wrong, I dove for my laptop. I didn't know what else to do. It wasn't like I could call anyone anymore, not after Jay had ripped through my apartment. I couldn't leave, either. That left me with the only people I knew in my apartment building. If I told Michael about any of this, he would laugh it off as being too stoned. If I told the Darts...They might actually believe me and then attempt to stone me.
"Floating on the ceiling" I plugged into Google. Even if there wasn't exactly a rational explanation, it would at least point me in the right direction. The only results it retrieved dealt with construction and painting. "Floating on the ceiling paranormal" I corrected, hating that this was something I had to do.? This was ridiculous. Maybe I had just hallucinated The event. Could weed even do that? Was it laced? Now the page was filled with information dealing with out of body experiences, but this had very clearly been real. I didn't leave my body behind anywhere that I was able to see.
I set aside the laptop, massaging my ankle which I had banged off the window frame on my way down. Then it hit me: my tattoo! What if I had ruined it? Wasn't this how you blew out lines, or something? Actually, I noticed that my appendage didn't hurt anywhere near as much as it did a day or two ago. That didn't seem normal. Alarm bells began to clang in my head. I lightly touched around the area to double check, but truly, the area didn't feel any different than any other patch of my skin. Pulling up a legging, I recognized that the artwork was no longer as vibrant as it had been, but there also was no redness, raised skin, or even scabs. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that it had been healing for months. But that wasn't possible…Right? There also appeared to be some sort of extra, skull-like design hidden in the moth's back that I didn't remember asking the artist to place there. I was reminded of how I thought there might have been more to Josh's tattoo when I first saw it. Regardless, I needed a better look this thing and decided to retrieve a mirror from the bathroom to aid in that effort.
I stumbled through the hall as though in a daze and after flipping on the light, I didn't make it much further. The moment I caught sight of myself in the vanity mirror I had to stop. My eyes were hollow, gaunt, and ringed with purple. I looked like I was half alive, but that wasn't even the disturbing part. No. The reason my hands began to shake and my legs now fought to support me was that I hardly showed up in the mirror in the first place. I was transparent, like some sort of ghost.
I looked down at my hands, still solid in front of me. I touched my arms and face, affirming for myself that I was still solid and real. Then I looked back at my ghost of a reflection. I reached out to touch the glass, trying to validate that what I was seeing wasn't a play of the light. I couldn't come up with any trick that would cause me to clearly see the towels through my torso, though. Things were starting to come together. I let the tattoo and reflection go and drifted into my room, snatching the business card from my bedside table where it remained from the last time I tried checking out the Darts' website. I nervously keyed the address into the computer. It was hosted on Angelfire. Their credibility was fading fast.
"Vampires." I read out loud, thinking that maybe hearing it would help. It didn't. I still felt insane. "I might actually owe those two idiots an apology. Fuck..."
I read everything I could, but it seemed like most of the site was just speculation and sounded outlandish: psychic vampires, the embrace, the mundane, sires...What I was able to find seemed to add up that, as moronic as I felt to admit it, I was some sort of half vampire. The fading reflection, floating, constant hunger and thirst that nothing would satisfy...It all fell in line with the descriptions. It listed a few other tests I could try to know for certain. Hopefully, this would just leave me feeling silly, because if not...I would cross that bridge if I came to it.
Pulling the garlic salt from the spice rack, I sprinkled some on my hand before hesitantly licking it off. I immediately had to spit it back out the way that it burned me like I had ingested a ghost pepper. I flipped on the water hoping to get a handful of water to rinse my mouth out with. However, I also, unfortunately, managed to confirm the running water myth at the same time. Despite leaving the temperature on my sink at the coldest temperature, my hand burned under the stream as though it were scalding. I flipped the water off, backing away slowly until I ran into the fridge, rubbing at my hand and still attempting to work the rest of the garlic out of my mouth.
I returned to the website once the pain subsided, clicking onto the next page to see what else I could try. However, the only further information it seemed to provide was how to kill vampires. That almost certainly ruled out talking to the Darts unless I could keep them convinced I was human. It wasn't worth the risk and I didn't feel particularly confident. But how had this happened? When? I pushed the laptop aside, curling myself around my knees.
Goodbye - Mudvayne
"When you start asking questions you can't seem to find answers to, all you have to do is walk out the front door…" Josh's words rang through my mind. It had to be them. This had to be what they were talking about. But how had they done it? My feet moved me back to the bathroom. My reflection was faint, but I was certain I didn't see any bite marks on me. That was when I noticed a discarded, black garment I hadn't seen for a few days in the corner of the room. It would have been the outfit I wore for my birthday. It was odd that I didn't remember seeing it there before, and I always got changed in my room, not in the bathroom. On a hunch, I picked it up and nearly dropped it again. It was damp and muddy. But that would only make sense if...
I had thought my experiences at the waterfall were a dream, but the clothes wouldn't be wet if I hadn't been there. I had fallen off that cliff. So had the boys. I wouldn't have even been walking those paths if it wasn't for that final bottle of wine. No! It couldn't be! I would have realized if...Wouldn't I?
'Brenna…'
I sank to my knees. I could have stopped this.
'Brenna…'
I sat on my bathroom floor for a while, completely shut down. I had absolutely no intentions of moving from the spot. My life was over, and not in the overly dramatic teenage "middle school Brenna" sense. I had really fucked up. I had no hopes of ever having a normal life ever again. I had lived my life with a finite goal in mind: a certain type of house with a car I had always dreamed about. Finally meeting "the one" and getting to walk down the aisle with them. Having a couple of children, maybe. I had always waffled about whether or not I saw kids in my future, but with the choice suddenly torn from me, I felt a hollowness develop in the pit of my soul.
Now, what did I have to look forward to? What purpose did life hold? There wasn't any point in further pursuing a degree - I probably wouldn't be able to hold down a job if I couldn't go out in the sun again. I was beginning to feel not only violated, but very robbed as memories of enjoying warm days at parks and sunsets over lakes flitted before my eyes. Those days had been stolen from me. Any remaining friends or family I thought I had to this point would need to be completely carved out of my life. I acted like Josh's death had driven us so far apart, but in this moment, it was painfully apparent that it all could have been fixed. I could have driven out to see them all and make amends. I could have made things right with my roommates. I could have made an effort. Now I would never see a single one of them again. Ever. For the rest of eternity.
Unless...I remembered the list on the Darts' website detailing ways to kill vampires. I could use them to defend myself and hold out as a half vampire for as long as possible. Or, if it came down to it, I could use them as a way to end myself. Was that something I was capable of? And...What would happen when I did? I was never particularly religious, but...If there was an afterlife, I would almost certainly be punished, wouldn't I? Even though I would be saving others? Suicide was supposed to be a sin. Or, worse...What if there was nothing after for me? If it all just ended?
Time lost its meaning quickly while locked in the darkened bathroom. I didn't have any way to keep track of it and, I realized, I no longer needed to leave for food or drink. I was fairly certain it had been actual days since I last moved from my catatonic state, positioned against the wall. Had I slept? Did anyone notice I was missing? Did anyone miss me? I wondered if the boys were still keeping my boss at bay, or if they had simply convinced her that I didn't exist anymore. Was that something they could do? Could they have wiped me off the face of the Earth if they wanted to by making people forget me? It was frightening that no one had checked in by this point, whether it was for lack of caring or more supernatural reasons.
On what I guessed was the second day, I began to think I heard voices.
'Come outside…' they whispered to me. 'Join us…' I couldn't be sure if it was something real, or just the imaginings of a mind gone too long without sleep and nutrients. Every time I closed my eyes the demands grew louder until I feared I couldn't resist their compulsions. My dreams felt too real, and more than once I woke to find myself with a hand on the handle to the apartment door, then standing in the hallway, then hanging a foot out the main doors to the apartment before I would come to my senses and run back to my bathroom as fast as my legs could carry me.
'It could be so easy...'
I hadn't been home in what felt like forever, and I missed it like crazy. My old friends, the food, just the smell of my home…Mom's birthday was coming up anyway. It was a beautiful night for a ride despite the cold and I thought I would surprise them in the morning by popping out of my room for breakfast. Mom might have claimed she hated it when I did that, but I knew she was actually happy to have me around the house again. I just had to be careful not to disturb anyone on my way in. It was way too late for anyone to be up anyway, aside from maybe Brenna. Our parents were always on her about her late night gaming habits, and I kind of felt bad. Sometimes she got to be a little much, but what sibling wasn't annoying occasionally? Truth be told, I missed the munchkin.
They had given up hope of me being a success a long time ago. Instead, they put all their efforts into getting my sister to turn out right. She didn't get away with half as much as I did, so it became my brotherly duty to teach her the tricks of the trade. She looked at me like I was her idol for the simplest things, like showing her how to switch the TV over to a different screen when she was sneaking R-rated movies so they thought she was only watching the news. I couldn't wait until she was a little older and I could actually introduce her to partying. By junior high I already had a stash of beer hidden in my room. I doubted she had even tried a sip of wine at the dinner table.
I cut my engine and the lights at the road and decided to walk my bike into the driveway to avoid disturbing anyone – mom was a notoriously light sleeper. It made sneaking out next to impossible. However, I was immediately thrown off when I found a car parked there I didn't recognize. Maybe mom and dad had a friend visiting and spending the night? I didn't recall them having many friends, though…I quickly located the key to the house and let myself in as quietly as I could. As it turned out, I shouldn't have been worried. I found mom wide awake, but she hadn't noticed me yet. She was a little distracted by the random guy who was fucking her over the kitchen counter.
There were many ways I could have reacted, and maybe mine wasn't the best, but when she noticed me and tried to stop and explain, I decided to walk out the front door. There were no excuses for what I saw and no making up for it. Standing around and listening just would have made me more upset. Instead, I would get on my bike and return to school as though nothing had happened. I saw nothing, I knew nothing, and I would say nothing despite the 20 missed calls I received from my mother the following day. I had good reasons, in my opinion. Granted, my dad had every right to know. It would break his heart, but at least he could get out of this clearly one-sided relationship. It disgusted me to picture the way they were together, and how madly in love he still was with her, while she ran around behind his back with...Whoever that was. I didn't see his face. It was probably better that way. But my baby sister…That's all I could think about.
This would crush her. While I was at school, she would be living with them during the divorce. With their already high expectations of her and the amount of pressure she felt like she was under to be perfect for them…And she had a really great future ahead of her. She was smart and did so well in school. She wouldn't be stuck going to some local college like me to try and find a job she could squeak by with, she could live whatever dream she had. I felt certain that if she was trapped in the house with mom and dad, she would blame herself and she would be too isolated from outside perspectives to know that wasn't true. Once she was out of the house, I could come clean if mom didn't break things off herself, but I couldn't be the one responsible for ruining the family.
Keeping this secret didn't go well for me either, though. I hated myself for not being able to say anything. I headed straight to the bar that night, and many nights after, downing enough shots and drinks to get myself comfortably numb. It was a lonely time of year to be out. The town was empty if the school wasn't in session, except for the locals. I was about to order another beer when one was slid in front of me.
"Girl problems?" the white-blond man next to me asked. It was strange. I hadn't noticed him there before.
"Something like that." He nodded, seeming to somehow know exactly what I meant.
"I'm guessing that's your bike out there?" He switched topics. I nodded. "It's nice, but sounded like it could use some tuning. We were just about to go for a ride. Why don't you finish your drink and come along. There's some trails we just found out near Antontown I think you'd like. After that, me and the guys could show you some tricks for better performance."
David and the others were exactly what I needed in my life right then. Keeping a secret from my family meant that I tended to avoid them, both because I was afraid of letting something slip but also because looking at my mother made me sick to my stomach. The guys were becoming, more or less, all I had. I hadn't been home for a holiday in ages and even my chats with Brenna were becoming short. Having the guys eased the ache a little. I still thought about my family all the time, though.
Six more years was too long to keep quiet. I couldn't wait until Brenna moved out. Maybe when I graduated, I could just move back to my home town and get a house? Then when I told them the truth, she would have a place to run. Or maybe when she was 16? That way she could drive out here. I snorted, picturing her the first time she would see me with the gang. She was kind of a dweeb, but I thought she'd handle it ok as long as I could get the guys to be cool, and I thought they respected me enough that it wouldn't be an issue. Man, I could only imagine what getting into college parties would have done for my reputation in high school. Unfortunately, I would never get the chance to give you that opportunity...
With a towel wedged in the crack below the door, I didn't feel the exhaustion that usually set in when morning arrived. I would have been safe in the sunlight, having not made a kill, but it made me weak, something I couldn't tolerate any more of. I developed a nosebleed after a while which would act up every once in a while. It only came during the day time, from what I could determine. Apparently, exhaustion was more dangerous than I had thought. Maybe I would just bleed out and make this easy on everyone.
I had figured out some time ago that the whispers were the work of the boys, so this was likely just an evolution from that. I knew that this was how they planned to break me: berating me with requests at all hours of the day, working in shifts. In this case, I imagined it was my brother's doing, allowing me a glimpse into the experience that led him to the boys. It wasn't helping. The hunger, the thirst, the lack of sleep…While these needs couldn't kill me, as far as I was aware, they did make me unstable. I felt myself sliding in and out of sleep, despite willing myself against it. I needed to stay strong.
It didn't take much longer until I felt that she was ready. She would do anything for me if it meant keeping me in her life. Everything EXCEPT abandoning her family, it seemed. And there was one other minor detail left to take care of: her son. In order for this to be a success, Maggie would need to disappear and be presumed dead. I didn't want any prolonged missing persons reports or manhunts. Fortunately, no one knew that I was even part of her life except for one loose end: Joshua. I couldn't be certain if he saw my face or not, or if he had told anyone, but it would just be simpler to eliminate him. Then there would be no birds left to chirp about what might have happened to Maggie.
He happened to be attending school in Young Haven, precisely where we had made our home. So convenient. I asked David to keep an eye out for Joshua but, to my surprise, he had already met him. Michael felt prepared enough to branch off from the family and start his own coven here. Fine by us – he never quite fit in anyway. And, after meeting Joshua, they thought he would be an excellent first recruit. They were just waiting for the right time and motivation to push everything else into motion as Michael, like me, had learned the benefits of taking things slowly. When the time came, he would either accept the offer or die. Either way, my goal would be accomplished.
And then, as if a gift from fate herself, it happened. They were keeping an eye on Josh – he had been tense all day and they couldn't get a good read on him as to why. He was keeping something from them, and exceptionally well. Then came the phone call. It was little sister demanding a conference. Joshua obliged but was distracted – too distracted to not notice a pothole which mysteriously appeared in the road in front of him by hands too fast for his to perceive. You know what came next. After being run over by the 18 wheeler, taking his final gasps of air, they were waiting for him. It's so much easier to accept the gift of immortality when your very mortality hangs in the balance in front of your eyes, regardless of any strings attached
I had to hand it to them – my boys made quick work of the situation, planting the replacement body before anyone else noticed. It didn't take long for the already strained marriage between Maggie and her husband to crumble with under the added stress of the supposed death of their son. She ran straight into my arms and never looked back. I hardly had to convince her to complete the transformation when we made it back to California.
The boys decided to stay in the area and actually finish out the ten years before moving back. They were absolutely fed up with moving and starting over, especially considering the last two locations didn't even last the full ten. Besides, the climate in Young Haven wasn't the worst and it was the second cloudiest area in the US making day walking an occasional and exciting possibility. The fact that it was a college town meant that people rarely stuck around long enough to notice that they weren't aging or moving on, but those who began asking questions, well…There was always an easy way of dealing with those.
The only concern was that Joshua would be recognized. Fortunately, the change took care of some of that. He only had to lay low for a little while before the friends he knew had graduated and moved on to greener pastures. The father killed himself within a few years, which removed him from the picture. The rest of his relations lived hours away, likely to never visit the town. But left the daughter...
The trauma caused to her by her mother was certainly regrettable, and I couldn't help but feel partially responsible. She was truly the most innocent of the group and had the most to lose. I didn't wish any harm on her, and Joshua certainly didn't either, but I also wasn't looking for another project and this would most certainly be a touchy situation. I advised him to dose her, or to let one of his brothers do it for him. With a few drops of vampire blood in her system, should she have the misfortune to happen across any, no creature that went bump in the night would dare lay a hand on her. She would also be a little healthier, stronger, and more resistant to any sort of mind games played on her. She would remain human, but with a bit of an edge. I was personally curious to know how the call of blood would work if the dosed individual was unaware of whose blood was in them. And what fun it would be if she showed up down the line! What were the chances of that happening?
Ah, Brenna. If you had just made it another month and they would have been long gone. You almost made it…
I had been…Dosed? That's how they did it? That's why I was drawn to them?
"Brenna?" was it another whisper, or a real voice this time? Someone pounded on my door. "Brenna? Are you in there?