What Albus Did - 2015
All was calm and quiet in the staff room apart from the gentle crackling of the fire and the whining of the wind outside. Oh, and there was also a distant banging sound that could be heard from down in the dungeons which was the herald of another screaming match between Peeves and Severus when he would come back to find half of his equipment wrecked.
"We should probably go down and stop him," said Charity, looking up from her only half completed timetable and lazily stretching.
"Mmmhmmm." Septima's response in no way signified her agreement as she pored over a map of the stars and muttered about trying to find a place to hide them where Trelawney couldn't get a hold of them. Honestly, ever since the woman's prophecy of deaths of Harry Potter, Severus and Albus hadn't come true, the woman had made it her hobby to predict the deaths of their children or, since Dumbledore and Minerva hadn't had any, Fawkes.
"We should," Auriga agreed from where she was sprawled across the floor, face buried in a book.
"But none of them are going to," Neville murmured to his colleague, Professor Arbrit Macy, who had taken over from Professor Flitwick.
"Not a chance," Arbrit agreed with a shake of his head.
"Hey!" exclaimed Auriga, shooting the two a glare. "We're old and tired. Give us a break."
"Come on!" Arbrit shot back with a good-natured grin. "You're barely fifty-three Auriga. And look at Professor Gondolin. She can still run up all the stairs of the Astronomy Tower in one go."
"Only because she's got three bundles of energy to chase after," murmured Septima from behind her hair.
"Auriga, what are you reading?" Charity asked, trying to distract her bristling friend.
"Twilight," said Auriga, holding up the book for Charity to see.
"Interesting," Charity said. "Is it about … well … twilight?"
"No, it's a Muggle book," said Auriga. "About vampires."
"Why would you want to read a Muggle book about vampires when you can read a factual one from the library?" Septima asked, finally looking up.
"This book's different," said Auriga with her signature mischievous grin. "They sparkle. And they're pretty sexy."
"Ew," said Charity, though whether it was at 'sparkly' or 'sexy' no one could be sure.
Septima raised an eyebrow at her younger friend. "I've known one or two vampires in my time, Auriga and I can firmly attest that they are most definitely not sexy and have never sparkled in their lives."
"They are if they look like Cedric Diggory," Auriga insisted, grinning even more broadly.
Charity groaned and muttered something about, "Obnoxious old flirt!" to which Auriga responded by pointing out that she had been in her thirties then.
"I would remind you, Auriga, that student teacher relationships are strictly frowned upon," the Headmaster said from his corner of the staff room, eyes twinkling.
"Shut up you old hypocrite!" exclaimed Septima, in exactly the same way Minerva did.
"As you wish, my dear," Albus said, readjusting his glasses and continuing his reading of Lord of the Rings. Eowyn had been right, it was well worth a read. So far Pippin was his favourite. And the idea of having six meals a day didn't sound too bad either.
The staff room settled into silence for just long enough for Charity's handwriting to start to turn into an ugly scrawl on her timetable and for Auriga to fall asleep with her face buried in Twilight. All were started out of a sleepy stupor when the door was suddenly flung open and Minerva McGonagall shouted, "ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?"
Everyone instantly jumped a foot in the air and Charity woke with such force that she ripped her timetable in two. The only one not affected by his wife's ear-splitting accusation was Dumbledore himself who calmly closed his book and said, "What did I do now, Minerva?"
"Listen to this!" exclaimed Minerva, striding to the front of the room and pulling a sheet of paper from the pocket of her dressing gown. "'I am writing to tell you that we will be able to move back into Hogwarts at the start of the new term. If you could clear Professor Sander's old room we would be most grateful since it has everything we need. Once more, give our thanks to Dumbledore – I mean Albus (I'll never get used to using his first name) for his support in the matter. See you soon. Yours, Eowyn & Severus. '"
"What's so special about Professor Sander's room?" Neville asked, curious.
"It has lots of bookshelves," said Septima, with the knowledge of someone who has spent decades sneaking around a castle and knows it back to front.
"And a lovely view onto the lake," said Charity, picking up the ripped shreds of her timetable.
"And a nice, large, comfy bed," said Auriga gleefully.
"Auriga!" exclaimed Charity, Septima and Minerva at once.
"I don't see what the problem is, my dear," said Albus. "Severus and Eowyn wish to move back into their home. Who are we to deny them? After all, little Minnie – I mean Minerva – will be entering first year. They no longer need to take turns not teaching so that they can take care of their children."
"Albus," said Minerva, using the same tone that she would to explain something to an errant child, "have you quite forgotten the troubles that we had when Eowyn and Severus were living here together?"
"They were, and still are, wonderful teachers, Minerva," Albus reminded her.
"I am in no way trying to insinuate that they are not good at their job," Minerva grated, "what I am trying to say is that the half of my grey hairs that are not due to the Marauders, the twins, you and Harry Potter himself have been brought on by trying to comfort some shell-shocked first years who caught their professors in flagrante delicto!"
"What does that mean?" Neville asked Arbit.
"One word," said Professor Macy with something between a shudder and a grin, "2000 celebrations."
"That's three words," said Neville. Then, thinking back to the celebrations mentioned, "Yes. I definitely remember."
"Hey!" exclaimed Auriga, offended. "I would like to think that we, the Quartet of Chaos, contributed to some of your grey hairs, Minerva!"
"Oh, don't you worry, I've got a whole strip dedicated to you lot and Eowyn!" Minerva drawled, hand on her hip.
"I would hardly say that they were caught 'in flagrante delicto', as you so eloquently put it, Minnie," said Albus coolly, "they were ... just ..."
"Missing several vital pieces of clothing," Charity offered, face going red at the memory.
"You can never unsee that," Septima groaned.
"You mean the rest of you weren't smart enough to get Mad-Eye to Obliviate you?" Auriga asked. "Wow, I really do live with a bunch of cavemen!"
"The day I trust Alastor Moody with a wand and remain within five hundred metre radius you'll know that I'm a couple of feathers short of a phoenix," Septima reprimanded. "You saw what he did to Winnie's feet when she was studying under him! She couldn't walk straight for a week!"
"He's not all bad," said Charity, Hufflepuff tendencies kicking in to defend their friend's ex-mentor, "remember the time he taught us how to jinx Lockhart's mirror so that whenever he looked in it he saw a skeleton head!"
"And all the veins and tissue!" Auriga guffawed.
"CHILDREN!" Minerva snarled. Instantly everyone sat bolt upright, all the way from the six-year-old House Elf who had been trying to steal some of Charity's cookies to the fifty-something female professors as they turned to look at their once teacher. "First of all," Minerva grated, "if we are going to let those two back into this school, I will not take responsibility for the number of scarred children. You," - she pointed an accusatory finger at her husband - "can add it to your list of duties."
"But I know nothing about - "
Albus wisely shut up when his wife took another step closer to him and glared in that way of hers, eyes burning like green fire. "You feed them chocolate," she said coldly. "And secondly, we will be putting a soundproof spell on their door. I have no desires to hear what goes on in there even if you do, Auriga so stop making that face. Neville, start growing some Lichimen plants - Snape's going to need them for calming droughts if we want these children to survive without permanent brain damage. And most importantly, Albus, DO NOT DARE CALL ME MINNIE IN PUBLIC AGAIN!"
There was a brief silence as everyone looked on in awe at the Deputy Headmistress, who was slightly out of breath from her rant. Finally, Albus said, "Did I ever tell you you're very beautiful when you're angry?"
Minerva rolled her eyes, a sure acknowledgement that he had before but that she wasn't going to say so and said, "Alright you old flatterer. You're forgiven. But I meant what I said about you dealing with the scarred children."
Charity could have been mistaken but she was sure that Albus had muttered something like, "Drat! I'm too old for this!"
Finally, I got the second chapter up. Thank you, Faithful Warrior for actually making me get up off my bum and stop browsing random Tumblr posts to write this. Hope you enjoy this senseless waffling on my part. But hey, if you're actually reading this, you know the risks! :)