Author's Note: Okay, so I have chapter 12 ready for you now, but due to being busy with work and getting over jetlag, I haven't had much time to write since I got back from vacation. So, I hope to have chapter 13 finished and posted next week, but I apologise in advance if it takes a bit longer to post than normal.
Chapter Twelve
Logan is having the absolute worst day. From the moment he woke up this morning—with a crick in his neck and an aching back from sleeping on that damned air mattress until yesterday morning—right through to now: seven-fifteen p.m. on Tuesday night, nothing has gone right. And it's not just any Tuesday either; it's Valentine's Day. The first Valentine's Day he and Veronica have celebrated together, both in the same place at the same time… and he's going to be so late.
He wasn't released from duty until almost six-forty-five this evening, due to a last-minute, unscheduled flight test that ran on longer than expected, and by the time he gets in the car, it's almost seven-fifteen… and he was supposed to meet Veronica at Mama Leone's in Neptune at seven.
As he drives out of the base, he calls Veronica through the car's Bluetooth connection.
"Logan?" she answers.
"Veronica, I'm so sorry," he says quickly. "I got caught up at work. I'm going to be late."
"Where are you now?"
"Just leaving the base."
"Seriously?" she says, voice filled with dismay. "But I'm already at the restaurant."
"I'm sorry," he says again, as he merges onto the 75. "If I could've gotten away any earlier, I would have."
"Yeah, I know you would." She sighs. "Okay, well I can't sit here for an hour waiting for you. The waiter already thinks I've been stood up and it's only been fifteen minutes."
"Look, why don't you order to go and we can eat when I get back?" he suggests. "Or I can swing by Mama Leone's and pick up the food on the way?"
"Okay, sure," she agrees. "I'll order now and ask for it to be ready in an hour. You want the usual?"
"Of course." He nods, though he knows she can't see him. "I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"
"See you soon, Logan."
By the time Logan arrives home, having collected the food from the restaurant, it's almost eight-thirty. Veronica is curled up on their new sofa, Pony's head in her lap as she flicks through channels on the TV.
"Hey, I'm home," he announces, closing the front door behind him.
Pony lets out a soft bark, clambering off the sofa and bounding over to him, jumping up and pawing at his legs in greeting.
"Hey, girl." Logan places the take-out bags down on the table by the door and leans down to pet her. "You have a good day, sweetheart?"
"She did," says Veronica, walking over to him. "She spent it running in circles around the office and getting in everyone's way."
"You did, huh?" Logan grins, ruffling Pony's fur. "That's my girl."
"Nice to see you encouraging her delinquent behaviour." Veronica smirks as she leans in, giving him a kiss.
"Gotta do my part." He shrugs, shooting her a grin. "Sorry again for being late."
"Couldn't be helped." She dismisses the apology with a shake of her head. "Besides, you're here now."
"And I have food."
"Excellent," she drawls, wiggling her eyebrows.
Kissing him again, she picks up the bags and carries them into the kitchen area.
As she roots around in the cupboards for plates, she asks, "Good day at work?"
Logan makes a face. "Not really."
She frowns. "What happened?"
"Just one of those days where everything seemed to go wrong." He shrugs. "You?"
Opening the take-out bags, she starts dishing out the food. "Eh, same old."
Logan joins her at island, pulling out the rest of the boxes and lining them up on the counter, then fixing a couple of drinks. With a soft smile, he approaches Veronica from behind, sliding his arms around her waist and kissing the side of her neck.
"Happy Valentine's Day."
She smiles, tilting her head in invitation. "Happy Valentine's."
They eat dinner at the dining room table, in an attempt to recreate the semi-formal atmosphere of the restaurant meal they should have had, then curl up together on the sofa, snuggling under a blanket, sipping from steaming mugs of hot chocolate.
"This was just what I needed after the day I've had," says Logan, running his fingers along Veronica's arm under the blanket.
She sighs softly, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Me, too."
He shifts, placing his mug down on the coffee table, and she winces. He frowns in concern.
"Still sore from the mattress?"
The delivery of their new bed had been delayed by several days and it didn't arrive until yesterday afternoon, which meant that they ended up spending nine nights sleeping on the crappy air mattress instead of just four.
"Yeah."
"Come here."
He urges her to sit up, then slides his hands up to the back of her neck, kneading gently.
"That feels good," she murmurs as his fingers seek out the knots of the tight muscles there.
Logan smiles, increasing the pressure, his hands sliding down to her shoulders as well.
"Hmm, you're pretty good at this, you know?"
"So, I've been told."
She glances over her shoulder, looking amused. "Oh, really?"
He ignores her, not going near that line of questioning, and leans forward, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "You wanna go lie down, do this properly?"
"Yes, please."
"Come on, then." He slides off the couch, holding his hand out to her.
Veronica lets Logan lead her into the bedroom, toward their brand new California King—which has the most comfortable mattress she's ever slept on. Unfortunately, so far, only one night on it hasn't been enough to counteract the effects that nine nights on the air bed have had on her back and shoulders.
Logan closes the bedroom door behind them with a soft click, then gestures for her to lie down. Veronica peels off her top, leaving her in her bra and comfortable sweatpants, and settles on her stomach on the bed. The mattress dips as Logan joins her and then his large, warm hands start sliding over her bare skin.
Veronica relaxes beneath his soothing touch, a soft groan escaping her lips when he starts working out the sore kinks in the back of her neck. All too soon, his hands leave her skin and she makes a noise of discontentment.
"Hey, don't stop."
"I'm not," he says gently. "I'll be right back."
"You'd better."
True to his word, he's only gone for about twenty seconds, and when he returns, the scent of lavender permeates the room.
"What—?" she mumbles in question.
"Massage oil," he clarifies. "Saw it in the bathroom the other day."
His hands slide over her skin again, this time warm and slick with the oil. It feels amazing.
"Yeah, it was a Christmas present," she responds softly.
Logan's hands work in firm circular strokes across her back, leaving tingles in their wake. He gently unclasps her bra, sliding the straps down over her shoulders, and then his hands move further down, palms flattening as they slide over her lower back, the tips of his fingers brushing along her sides.
"God…" she murmurs. "So good."
"Yeah?" His voice is soft, almost seductive.
"Uh, huh."
His hands move back up to her shoulders, thumbs pressing insistently, easing the remaining knots there. He stops and she almost grumbles in protest, but then she feels him shift, moving to straddle her legs, and a moment later his lips brush across the back of her neck. She shudders in response, heat pooling low in her stomach as tingles shoot along her nerves. Logan leaves a trail of kisses along her spine as his fingers move in gentle circles across her skin.
The sensation is incredible and she shifts restlessly on the bed, her hips rocking gently as arousal starts to build. Logan's hands move to her hips, fingers dipping beneath the elastic of her pants as his lips suckle gently at her lower back. Veronica lifts her lower body, allowing him to ease the material down over her hips, bringing her underwear with them. The clothing hits the floor and Logan breaks contact, sitting up. She hears him squeeze more oil into his hands, and then he's massaging her calves, stroking gently upwards, hands easing higher and higher until his fingers brush her inner thighs.
She's tingling all over, breath coming in short pants, as Logan gently parts her legs, his fingers slipping between her folds.
"Oh…"
He moves again, stroking her clit as his mouth brushes along her spine, kissing and licking until she's trembling beneath him, the heat building in her belly, tension escalating until it spills over into orgasm. She clutches the pillows, hips bucking as the climax flows through her.
When she recovers, Logan tenderly kisses the base of her spine, and says, "Feel better?"
"God, yeah." Her voice comes out breathy. "You're so good at that."
"Turn over," he requests gently.
Summoning just enough energy to move, her limbs feeling like Jell-O, she rolls over just in time to see Logan pulling his Henley over his head, revealing a tantalising display of muscle. Veronica starts to sit up, to help, but he bats her hand away with a lopsided smile.
"You just relax. I got this."
Kneeling between her legs, he leans forward, reaching out a hand and brushing the hair from her face as his palm slides along her cheek. His eyes lock with hers and Veronica feels herself being drawn into his intense gaze. She shivers.
"I love you," he murmurs softly, lowering his mouth to hers before she can respond in kind.
He kisses her, deep and overwhelming, as his hands drift down over her collarbone, fingers gently manipulating the tight muscle just below her shoulders, then walking their way down to her chest. He palms her breasts, kneading gently as he kisses a path over her jaw line and down her neck, and heat pools in her belly again.
Veronica sighs beneath his touch. "You should be late more often, if this is the treatment I get."
He smiles against her skin, but doesn't reply as his hands skim down over her stomach, stroking the skin softly and making her squirm with want. His mouth moves to her breast and her fingers bury in his hair, holding him close. He slides lower, palms flattening on her inner thighs, parting them further as he kisses a trail down her stomach, tongue dipping into her belly button before moving lower still. Her hips buck when his mouth closes over her clit, fingers tightening in his hair as he licks and sucks, his fingers sliding inside her, over and over, until she's crying out for release.
"Oh my God…" she groans, when she finally falls, orgasm crashing over her like a wave. "Yeah...just like that."
Lying boneless on the bed as she tries to catch her breath, she manages a, "Holy fuck, that was amazing…"
Logan's hands rest on her hips as he lifts his head to look at her with a crooked, self-satisfied grin. "Good, huh?"
"You know, I was wrong all those years ago," she muses, her fingers running through his hair as he moves back up her body, looking down at her, expression a mixture of amusement and lust. "You should go totally pro in this... you know, the whole massage package, not just the 'happy ending' part. Your skills are incredible."
"I should, huh?" His nose nudges hers.
"Definitely." She tilts her chin up, bringing their mouths together. When they part, she gazes up at him, looping her arms around his neck. "Make love to me?"
He gives her a tender smile. "With pleasure."
Saturday night finds Logan in the 09er, having drinks with Chaos and Cosmo, who has flown down to SoCal for the weekend.
"Remember when Chavez tried to convince the rookies they had to do 20 laps of the flight deck in the blistering heat and they all fell for it?" says Chaos.
"God, yeah, that's right." Cosmo grins as he brings his beer bottle to his lips and takes a sip.
"I remember he got an earful from the OC afterwards," recalls Logan.
"Aren't you glad we weren't that gullible when we were rookies?"
"Speak for yourself, Chaos," says Cosmo. "I seem to remember Mouth here falling for some stupid shit during OCS."
"I fucking did not," Logan denies quickly, pointing at Cosmo. "You're remembering that wrong."
"Am I?" Cosmo raises an eyebrow. "Does the room inspection incident of 2011 ring any bells?"
Logan cringes. Shit, he'd forgotten about that. "Oh, fuck off."
He lifts his glass, draining the rest of his Coke, then slides off his stool.
"Looks like it's my round," he says. "Same again, guys?"
Chaos and Cosmo both nod, and Logan turns to head for the bar just as someone bumps into him from the side.
"Hey, sorry, man," the guy apologises hastily.
"No worries." Logan turns to face the guy, quickly recognising him. "Wallace. Hey."
"Logan." Wallace nods. "How're you doing?"
"Pretty good," he replies. "Surprised to see you here. Didn't think the 09er was your scene."
Wallace shrugs. "It's not. I'm here for a colleague's birthday celebration; you know how it is."
"Ah." He nods.
"Yeah, it's winding down," says Wallace. "I was just heading out actually."
Logan makes an impulsive decision. "Look, night's still young. Wanna join us for a drink?"
"Oh, uh…" Wallace glances toward Chaos and Cosmo. "Sure, why not?"
"Great. I was just heading to the bar. What're you having?"
"I'll come with you."
They order a round of drinks from the bar—three beers plus a soft drink for Logan—and carry them back to the table.
"Wallace, this is Chaos and Cosmo." Logan makes the introductions. "They're on my squadron. Guys, this is Wallace Fennel. We went to high school—and college—together."
"Nice to meet you, man," says Chaos, smiling warmly as he holds out his hand.
"You, too." Wallace shakes it, then Cosmo's, and slides onto a fourth stool as Logan takes his seat. "So, you guys fly with Logan?"
"Yeah." Chaos nods. "I'm a pilot. Cosmo is Logan's WSO."
"WSO?" Wallace frowns.
"Weapon Systems Officer," clarifies Cosmo. "I'm in the back seat. You know, like Goose in Top Gun."
"Oh, cool," says Wallace with an interested smile.
"So, you went to high school with Mouth, here?" asks Chaos. "Don't think he's mentioned you."
Logan opens his mouth to step in and explain, but Wallace beats him to it.
"We weren't exactly friends in back then." Wallace turns to Logan. "Didn't we only talk, like, that one time in high school? For that science project?"
"Yeah. Pretty much," Logan agrees. "We barely even knew each other."
"Yeah, well, Veronica did like to compartmentalise."
"You know Veronica too?" asks Cosmo.
Wallace grins. "Dude, she's my best friend. Has been since we were 16."
"Wait." Chaos frowns. "You were her best friend, and Mouth here was her boyfriend, but you two didn't know each other?"
"Like he said," Logan cuts in, indicating that the topic should be left alone. "Veronica liked to compartmentalise."
Chaos takes the hint. "So, what do you do, Wallace?"
"JV basketball coach at Neptune High. Teach physics too."
Logan blinks in surprise. "You teach physics? I didn't know that."
"Yeah, well, you never asked," Wallace says pointedly.
"Yeah, guess not." Logan winces.
"Hey, that reminds me, I wanted to pick your brains about planes." Logan tries not to chuckle and Wallace narrows his eyes at him. "And yes, I'm aware that rhymed."
Logan swallows his laughter, giving a nod instead. "Go ahead. You got three qualified Navy pilots right here in front of you."
Wallace smiles, rubbing his hands together in preparation. "Well, okay then. Here goes."
Conversation flows easily as Wallace starts asking questions and the three of them answer eagerly, in their element. There's joking and banter mixed in with the serious responses and Logan actually finds himself enjoying hanging out with Wallace—something he's never really had a chance to do before. The more time he spends with the man, the more he can see why he and Veronica are such good friends.
"Hey, listen," he says to Wallace, after Cosmo gets done explaining the operating system in the jet. "You should come down to the base sometime, see it all first-hand."
"Yeah," adds Chaos. "We can give you the whole tour. And you can even pick the brains of the flight engineers if you want."
"Really?" Wallace grins, his eyes lighting up. "That would be awesome. Spring Break's coming up soon, maybe then?"
"Sure." Logan smiles. "Anytime, man."
Two weekends later, Veronica and Logan drive down to San Diego for dinner with Chaos and Sarah. Veronica hasn't seen Chaos since the funeral up in Seattle, though she met Sarah for coffee one day before Christmas while Logan was deployed. Normally, she would avoid dinner parties such as this, but she likes both Chaos and his wife, and Logan's been enthusiastic about this evening, so she's happy to tag along.
"You okay?" Logan asks, glancing over at her as he turns onto Chaos' street.
"Yeah, I'm good." Veronica nods, shifting the two bottles in her lap: red wine and non-alcoholic grape juice.
"Thanks for coming with me tonight."
"Of course I was gonna come with you." Veronica frowns, bemused. "You think I wouldn't?"
"No, course not," he says. "It's just… I know this kind of thing isn't really your scene."
"What, spending time with one of your best friends and his wife, who is also a friend of mine?" she says incredulously. "Logan, please."
"Yeah, okay." He pulls into Chaos' driveway and cuts the engine. "Good point."
They get out of the car and head up the path. Chaos opens the door with a wide smile just a few seconds after Logan rings the bell.
"Hey, guys, glad you made it," he greets cheerfully. "Come on in."
Logan gestures for Veronica to go ahead, and she smiles as she steps inside.
"Veronica, welcome to our humble abode," says Chaos smoothly. "May I take your coat?"
"Oh, thank you." Veronica hands the bottles over to Logan so she can shrug out of her jacket. "Such a gentleman."
Beside her, Logan snorts in amusement.
"Hey!" Chaos responds with indignation at the same time Veronica turns to Logan with a raised eyebrow.
"You're one to talk, mister," she says with a smirk. "When was the last time you offered to take my coat?"
"Like you'd even let me," he retorts. "I'd probably get a lecture on the importance of being an independent woman who doesn't need a man to take care of her."
"Shut up, I would never," she says, though it's totally not true, and she knows Logan knows that.
"Yeah, you would." There's affection in his tone as he says it, and it makes her feel warm all over. He leans in, murmurs softly, "Why I love you."
Beside them, Chaos clears his throat. Veronica turns to find him watching them with a barely-concealed smile and a raised eyebrow. "Uh, Veronica, can I give you a tour of the place? Mouth doesn't need one. He already knows his way around."
"Sure." She nods with a smile.
"I'll just take these through to Sarah." Logan holds up the bottles in his hands.
"Thanks, man." Chaos nods toward the back of the house. "She's in there."
Logan heads down the hall while Chaos gives her a tour. The house is nice—fairly small, but cosy and warm. Chaos tells her it's off-base military housing, paid for by his accommodation allowances, and she has to admit that it's nicer than she would have expected. The way Logan's talked about military housing, she's had the impression it's little better than living in a college dorm.
"And finally: the kitchen-diner," Chaos announces with a flourish as he shows Veronica into the kitchen, where Logan and Sarah are chatting amiably.
"Veronica," Sarah turns to her with a warm smile. "Great to see you."
She steps forward, giving Veronica a quick hug.
"You, too, Sarah," she says. "Thanks for inviting us."
"Shall we eat?" says Chaos.
They sit around the dining table on the other side of the room and conversation flows freely through the appetiser and main course, both of which Chaos is responsible for—which surprises Veronica until she remembers Logan telling her Chaos went to culinary school before joining the Navy, and is the one who taught him to cook. Logan and Chaos regale Veronica and Sarah with amusing stories from in flight school and their deployments, but then the attention is on Veronica as she is asked about being a private investigator in Neptune and the kinds of cases she deals with. Chaos, of course, wants to know what Logan was really like in high school and tries to get her to spill the dirt, while Sarah attempts to rein him in and insists she doesn't have to answer.
It's all very relaxed—fun, even—and as Chaos clears the plates from the main course, Veronica realises that not a single question they've asked her has even alluded to the sordid details of her past… not a word about Logan's father, or Lilly, or anything. She has to wonder if it's because Logan has already told them all the details, or whether he's asked them to steer clear of the topic completely… or maybe they don't even know what happened—though she very much doubts that, given who Logan is and how high-profile the case was, not to mention how close he seems to be to Chaos.
Chaos serves the dessert—Key Lime Pie—and takes a seat, but before anyone tucks in, he takes a moment to get their attention.
"I just want to say thanks for coming, guys." He raises his glass. "It's been a great evening so far."
"Thanks for inviting us," responds Veronica with a smile.
"That's not all," he says, glancing toward Sarah and taking her hand as his smile widens. "We also have an announcement." He pauses for a moment before saying, "We're pregnant."
"Oh, wow, guys, that's amazing!" Logan says enthusiastically, before Veronica can react. "Congratulations."
"That's wonderful news," adds Veronica, finding her voice. "Congratulations, both of you."
"Thanks." Sarah smiles widely, squeezing Chaos' hand.
Veronica's not really sure how to react to the news; she doesn't have much experience in this area. None of her friends from Stanford or Columbia are at the baby-having stage yet.
"How, uh, how far along are you?" she asks, almost for lack of anything else to say.
"Just over four months."
Logan shoots Chaos a wide grin and a nod, a silent communication passing between them. Veronica eyes them for a moment, before turning her attention to Sarah, sitting next to her.
"You've been pregnant all this time and you didn't say anything?" she asks lightly.
Sarah shrugs sheepishly. "We wanted to get past the first trimester before we announced it. You know, just in case."
"Yeah." Veronica nods. "You guys seem really happy."
Sarah nods, looking over at Chaos with a smile. "We are."
"And how are you doing?" she asks. "All going well? You look great, by the way."
"Yeah, it's been surprisingly easy so far… almost too easy, actually," admits Sarah. "I keep waiting for the terrible morning sickness and exhaustion I've heard so much about, but other than a bit of nausea, it's been smooth sailing so far."
"That's good."
Sarah starts to say something more, but Chaos interrupts, insisting they all get started on the dessert. As Veronica digs in, she glances over at Logan. He's asking Sarah about her due date as his eyes dart towards Chaos with pride; but when he turns his attention to his plate, she sees something else in his expression, something she can't quite put her finger on… wistfulness, maybe? Whatever it is, it causes a twisting sensation in her chest that she struggles to ignore.
They spend the ride back to Neptune making small talk and studiously avoiding the big news. Or at least, Veronica is studiously avoiding it; she's not really sure what Logan's thinking right now. She successfully manages not to broach the subject until they're lying together in bed almost two hours later.
"I had a good time tonight," says Veronica into the darkness, her head resting against his chest.
"Yeah," Logan agrees softly. His fingers stroke along her arm as he speaks.
"Chaos and Sarah seem really happy."
"They do," he says. "But I can't believe he kept this from me for so long."
"Sarah said they wanted to wait, make sure everything was okay."
"Understandable. They've been trying for a while," Logan says in response. "I think he was worried it was never gonna happen."
"Yeah?"
She's surprised Logan knows so much about his friend's personal life. Somehow she can't picture the two of them sitting around the crew room discussing their domestics.
Oh God. She stiffens a little, an awful thought occurring to her. What has he told Chaos about us? About me?
"Yeah, last summer he said they were gonna try when he got home, but in October they hadn't had any luck," he says. "Guess that didn't last long."
"No."
There's a long moment of silence before Logan says the words she knows have been coming, but has been dreading hearing.
"You know, we haven't ever talked about it."
"Talked about what?" She feigns ignorance, though her heart is thumping loudly in her chest.
"About, you know, children." He sounds hesitant. "The future."
And there it is.
The silence stretches between them as she tries to figure out how to respond.
Eventually she just goes with, "No, we haven't."
"Should we?"
"Maybe," she hedges, wishing she could just say, 'oh, hell, no' and be done with it, but knowing she has to face this sometime. Might as well be now.
"So?"
"So… what?"
He sighs.
"Are you really gonna make me say it?" She stays silent, not trusting her voice. "Okay, fine. Veronica, do you want to have kids?"
She opens her mouth, then closes it. Then opens it again. "I—"
"Never mind." He sighs again. "I remember what you said in high school. You've never wanted them. Just thought maybe you had a different opinion now."
She feels slightly stunned, not entirely sure what to think right now.
"Logan, I…" she starts, then changes tack. "Do you want kids? 'Cause I seem to recall us being on a similar page back then."
"I… don't know," he says softly, his fingers stroking along her back. "I didn't used to. Considering my gene pool, I never thought reproduction would be a good thing. But lately, seeing all the guys happily married, starting families… I don't know, maybe I'm changing my mind. Maybe I do want that after all."
"Logan…" Veronica feels a tug in her chest at his raw admission.
She wishes she could comfort him, tell him she does want children and make it all better, but she can't. Because she's spent years telling herself she won't ever have kids, that she won't bring an innocent child into this ugly world of evil and corruption and crappy parenting.
"I—I had a... scare, while you were away," she admits. "You know that last night together before you left? Well, couple weeks later. I was late and I thought I might be pregnant. I kinda panicked."
"Shit, Veronica." The words come out in a stunned exhale. "That's why you were so distracted when we Skyped?"
"Maybe…"
"What were you going to do, if… you know… you were?"
She shakes her head in the dark. "I don't know. I was just happy I got my period and didn't have to worry about it." She sighs heavily, turning her head toward him. "Logan, I didn't want to have to make a decision like that. I was so relieved when it turned out I didn't need to."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Guess that answers my question." His tone is flat.
"I'm sorry," she murmurs softly. "I don't want to hurt or disappoint you, but I can't help how I feel."
"I know you can't."
He sounds so despondent that it makes her chest tighten. She curls her body closer to him.
"Are you upset?"
"No. Yes. I don't know." He shifts a little beneath her cheek. "I never thought I would want to bring a child into the world—not after the shitshow that was my childhood—but sometimes I just think…what if?"
"Yeah."
He gives a shrug, the movement jostling her slightly. Veronica makes an impulsive decision, turning so she can face him, her palm coming up to rest on his cheek.
"Look, Logan…if I ever do feel differently," she says. "There's absolutely no one else in the world I would ever consider having children with."
"Yeah?"
She nods. "Yeah."
"Okay," he whispers, relaxing a little. "Okay."
His arm tightens around her, pulling her closer to his side as he drops a gentle kiss to the top of her head.
"I'll always love you, Veronica," he says. "No matter what happens."
"Me, too, Logan," she tells him earnestly. "Don't ever think I won't."