Chapter 5: Iunctio
The next few days passed as though nothing had happened. Leta acted completely normal, knowing she needed to give the girl some space.
On the outside, Hermione did her best to appear unmoved as well, but inside she was constantly worrying and analysing what had happened. She was still confused: why had she let the woman kiss her? Had she fallen for her?
And what about Bellatrix? Were they seriously involved – despite Bellatrix' marital status; Leta being her mistress, strictly speaking – but if so, why had the woman kissed her?
The more she thought about it, the more she had to admit: Hermione was definitely interested in Leta. She was intelligent, fun to have discussions and debates with, a surprisingly nice person, considering the circumstances, and, if Hermione was really honest with herself, Leta was very attractive. Other than the way Leta had forced her to read the books, she had been nothing but pleasant. And really, that spell had not been that bad, considering what another Death Eater would have done to her if she hadn't acquiesced – just as Leta had said: it had been uncomfortable, and yes, probably maddening if she had not given in, but she only had to read books; that wasn't so bad, it wasn't as though she had had to kill someone.
It worried her that the only arguments against Leta she had, were dissipating when she thought about them with more attention.
And, independent of any romantic feelings, it worried her even more that she was starting to see things from a new perspective; she no longer was entirely on the Light side. She could see now how people on the side of the so-called good could be just as bad as those on the Dark side, and the other way around: someone like Leta was the perfect example of someone who didn't seem to be all bad either, as Hermione had been told all these years. What the Order wanted her to believe wasn't true: the world wasn't as black and white as they painted it; there were many shades of grey, and hardly anyone was entirely Light or entirely Dark.
Was she being manipulated, or was she finally seeing the truth? A nagging feeling in the back of her head was telling her it was the latter.
The fifth day after their night out, Hermione decided she would talk to Leta. She needed someone to talk to about her worries, and despite Leta not being a neutral party, she couldn't help but feel that the woman would understand and help her.
Evening came and the two women sat at the table, eating. All this time, Leta had been acting very normally, but it seemed as though tonight she had noticed Hermione had something to get off her chest:
"Is there something you wanted to tell me?" she asked simply, in a tone that suggested a negative answer would be fine too.
Hermione put down the fork with which she had been dabbling in her plate. "Yes," she looked up to see Leta calmly continuing eating, not making her nervous by focussing on her instead. "But before I say anything, I would like for you to try and be as neutral as possible."
Leta looked at the girl for a moment, then nodded, "Of course."
Hermione took a deep breath, "So, I've been thinking, and I have come to the conclusion that the world is different than what I have been taught for all these years: the world isn't black and white, almost no one is truly entirely Dark or entirely Light. Most everything and everyone is grey."
Leta smiled, pleased. "That is true."
"And it's just so strange. I mean, my Professors at Hogwarts, the Headmaster, the Order, all my friends and their families, they have always been telling me that Death Eaters are bad, and evil, and dark, and wicked. But you—" she looked up, "You aren't like that. You are nice, and—well, you're not evil or anything like that. And I've seen Mr Malfoy: he also seems to just want to protect his family, but he's wrecked by all that's been happening, though at the same time he can be cruel. And I'm sure there are so many more Death Eaters like you. Then, on the other side there's Professor Dumbledore: he was best friends with Grindelwald, once. I mean—I just don't know what to think anymore."
Leta had remained silent to let the girl express her thoughts, and was very pleased with this progress. "This grey world you described, that is the truth. I'm sorry you have been told otherwise, that those closest to you have hidden the truth from you for so long."
"But how could I not have seen this! It's so logical, but until now, it never even occurred to me that not all is black and white."
"Because, as a child, you were taught about good and bad, like any young child. Then, when you entered the magical world, this illusion was kept up, everything and everyone was either good or bad, there were good guys – most of those in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff – and bad guys – the Slytherins. Books were either good and accessible, or bad and in the restricted section. Spells were good and you were allowed to use them, or bad and you would be punished for using those. In you formative years, you were brought up with a worldview of good versus bad, with no nuances. It's very understandable you weren't able to see through all that."
Hermione nodded in understanding, and slowly started to smile. "Thank you for letting me see the truth."
Leta returned the smile, "You're welcome. So now that we're over that part: what did bring you to that conclusion, exactly?"
A blush started to appear on Hermione's cheeks again, and she looked down at her plate once more. "Well, I—um, I was thinking of—" Hermione shook her head as if rethinking her words, "No. I first want to know about—well, about Bellatrix, and..."
Now Leta was entirely focussed on her. Guessing the question, she finished, "...and what's between me and her?"
Hermione nodded.
"We sometimes fuck," Leta replied honestly, not caring about crude wording, "when we feel like it. No strings attached."
This explanation seemed to please Hermione, who nodded her understanding, and she continued her interrupted answer to the previous question, "Well, I came to that conclusion, because I was thinking of that—that kiss, and I was kind of weighing the positive against the negative..."
"The positive and the negative of what?"
The girl looked up again, still clearly shy, "The positive and the negative of a relationship with you," she replied with honesty, her voice softer than before.
Her elbows on the table, she leaned forward, towards Hermione. "And what decision have you come to?" Leta asked, lowering her voice as well.
For a few moments, Hermione seemed to be searching for words, but then she blurted out: "I'd like to kiss you again."
Leta smiled. She stood and held out her hand. Hermione took it and stood as well. Leta led her to the couch in the living room, where they both sat down facing each other. She framed Hermione's face and leaned in to press her lips to hers in a soft kiss. This time, Hermione reciprocated.
They did not go further than kissing and some light touching that evening, but both were very satisfied with how the night had turned out.
From then on, Leta began to allow Hermione much more: they often went out in Muggle London to go visit culture and libraries, to go dancing, shopping, drinking, eating. They regularly cuddled and were affectionate in general.
Leta had also let Bella know that she wouldn't be available for a fuck for some time, which clearly pleased Hermione immensely when she told her. Bellatrix knew that this was part of Leta's manipulation of Hermione and would aid in the girl's indoctrination, but she still made clear to Leta that she wasn't too happy about it, upon which Leta replied they would reconcile as soon as she would have sent Hermione into the field, back to the Order, to truly commence her spy career, which had placated the woman somewhat.
More and more, Hermione acclimatised to this new life, this new relationship, and she was truly happy. She avoided thinking about home and her friends, since that only made her feel guilty. She couldn't exactly do anything about her situation, could she? So why not enjoy it, enjoy Leta? Whether her friends would have this opinion about her behaviour, was debatable.