Part I: I Like Where We Are
I'm not nervous, although I feel like I should be.
Ren's plane landed and he's on the way to pick me up for our first official date. It's only been a week since we started dating, but somehow, I feel like I never stopped talking to him. The gap that I once felt between us closed.
Everytime we speak, I feel naked - vulnerable, it scares me in the most delightful way. Given our past, I can be perfectly candid with him and he with me. We make eachother laugh and talk about various subjects at length. I know he's always been a smart kid, but Ren's knowledge never ceases to impress me.
That year he spent traveling the globe opened his eyes and made him more insightful than ever. If I were anyone else, he would annoy the hell out of me with his talks about traversing deserts under the scorching sun or almost getting arrested in small countries. But I just let him talk, imagining myself in those situations, wishing my life were still as exciting as it was when I was a child. I envy him in the most peculiar way; he was able to adjust to his life after the Shaman Fight by going on overseas excursions on his free time. Meanwhile, I stayed in Hokkaidō, mending a broken heart by the worst means possible and longing to be someone with more freedom and control over her life.
I can't wait to be done with school. Having my degree will allow me to live the life I've missed for so long. It seems hard to believe that before I turned fifteen I had lived in tents all over Japan, been to America and a lost continent. It all ended with bang and a whimper, leading me to a mundane existence of traditional schooling and normal people.
Moving to Tokyo gave me a rush I hadn't felt in a while. Though life here can sometimes be stale, the people in my life make it worth every second. I hope Ren can become a permanent part of my new life. I hope he and I can have many adventures together, that we never settle into the boring life of mortgages and insurance payments without a fight. Complacency has never been our friend.
Ren hasn't told me what he has planned for tonight. For all I know, he could just want to stay home with me to build a pillow fort (highly unlikely) or go on a jewel heist (more likely). Either way, I'm stunning in my miniskirt and tall boots - a look reminiscent to when we were kids, only tighter. I take a look at myself in the mirror, turning to see myself from all angles.
Thirteen-year-old me would barely recognize the person I have become. I guess we share similar physical features, our long blue hair and big eyes, but we're different in so many ways. That Pirika was much more spirited and carefree. This Pirika is jaded and cautious. Oh, how I miss youthful naivety.
Awaiting his arrival, I clean my apartment best I can without it looking overdone. With nothing else to clean, I sit on the couch awaiting Ren's arrival like some vapid Jane Austen character. I feel so stupid. Every second seems like years, I'm growing older in wait. By the time he gets here, I presume my hair will be thin and white. Fortunately, a knock on my door snaps me out of my melodrama. Looking through the peephole, I see Ren adjusting his tie. What a dork.
"Hey, you." I flirt as I open the door. I give him a quick kiss before closing the door behind him. "How was work?"
"I spent this entire week dealing with a CEO, who all but started a cult in my honor, so I would absorb his company."
"What's it like to have your ass licked by a wealthy man?" I ask as I take his suitcase, placing it next to the doorframe.
"Be with me long enough and find out." Ren winks at me. He went there.
"Is that a promise?" I flirt back. Ren's face goes deep red. I smile at my victory.
"Before I forget, Men drew you something." Ren reaches into his breast pocket and takes out a folded up paper. He hands it to me, I unfold it carefully.
Drawn on the paper are two lopsided humanoids in crayon. I take the liberty to assume that the Streaky Blue Person is me, while the Streaky Purple Person is Ren. I have never felt the need to hug a child as immensely as I do right this second.
"You better hold on to that," Ren notices my smile, "that's a Tao Men original."
"Grooming him to be the next Michelangelo already?" I take the drawing to my fridge and stick it on with magnets.
"At this point, it looks more like a Van Gogh." Of course Ren knows about art history, why wouldn't he?
"You look like Grimace." I chuckle, not taking my eyes off the new artwork on my fridge. Ren raises his eyebrows at the drawing.
"Grimace?" He asks, not sure what the hell I'm talking about.
"You know, that McDonald's guy. The one who looks like a rotted Chicken McNugget."
"What?"
"Grimace! The red clown's purple friend?"
He squints and turns his head.
"Don't they have McDonald's in China?" I ask, now feeling like I've ruined it.
"They do, but I've never been to one."
"Of course you haven't," I say with zero surprise in my voice. "What's on the agenda for tonight?" I doubt it'll be clubbing and cocaine. Maybe it'll be something vanilla like dinner and a movie.
"Are you hungry?" Oh, great. Dinner and a movie.
"Very." I admit, trying not to sound disappointed.
"Good." He makes his way towards my door. "Let's go." I grab my coat and join Ren, opening the door. "You're not scared of heights, are you?"
"Nope." I assure him, now interested. "What are you planning?"
"Dinner." He replies like the cheeky bastard he is.
Ren's carriage is parked outside my apartment. So much for laying low. We get in and head to our destination about thirty minutes outside of the city. All the while, Ren refuses to answer with specifics of what the evening will entail. I begin to braid his hair in protest. He lets me, kissing my forehead when I least expect it. Damn jerk knows how to win me over.
The carriage finally stops in the middle of a vacant field. We walk for another five minutes downhill before I see it - a giant basket tied to an already-inflated hot air balloon. You have got to be fucking with me. What a show off. I love it.
Atop the balloon we are served fresh seafood - crab, shrimp, caviar, mussels, oysters, and lobster; I am struck with gratitude that I am not allergic to shellfish. We watch the sunset from high above and gaze at the bright stars once it's dark enough to notice them. The views range from grassy fields to the lit up city, twinkling like the stars above it. The night isn't windy nor is it cold out. Our conversations are pleasant, our bodies are never more than five feet away from each other. He holds my hand each chance he gets. Everything is perfect.
Three hours on a hot air balloon makes me wish that there were castles in the clouds, away from humanity. All I need is a little corner of heaven, where I can be at peace.
Our night ends with Ren at my apartment brewing tea after making out on my bed.
I run a bath for us to soak in. I'm not expecting nor trying to make things get sexy. I want to bathe with him in the most innocent way. To wash someone, to clean someone, seems really intimate to me. I wonder what his body looks like after all these years.
Ren walks into my bathroom holding two teacups. I set them on the ledge of the tub before undoing his tie. Windsor knot. Classic. My fingers begin to work on his shirt buttons, taking the time to see how his body reacted to my touch. He doesn't mind when I start to hum. All he does is stare at me with observant eyes as if he's trying to record this moment so he can revisit it whenever he wants.
I take off his shirt and let it fall to the floor. Automatically, my hand heads for his Impressive Chest Scar that he received in the Shaman Fight. I trace the edges of the scar with my fingers, ignoring his well built chest. Finally, I place my palm on the top of the scar and follow it down to his stomach. Although I've done this before, the first time I did it, his scar was new and still very red. Time has made it turn a light pink color and rougher than I remember. Nevertheless, Ren died to get this scar, a thought that fills me with sadness.
He doesn't let me take off his belt. Instead, he begins to undress me, grabbing the bottom edges of my blouse and peeling it off me. He unhooks my bra by pulling me close to him, almost in an embrace. Ren gently removes my bra, then unbuckles his belt.
I undo the button to his pants and unzip his fly.
Ren unzips my skirt and it my skirt falls to my bare feet.
I tug his pants down, so they, too, pool at his feet.
We step out of our clothes, leaving nothing but our underwear on. I put my index finger up to signal the number one. After a second, I put up my middle finger: two. When my hand reads three, we both drop our underwear.
Neither of us look down. Reacting to each other's serious faces, we laugh. Ren pulls me in for a hug. It is so good to feel his bare skin on mine once more.
I sit Ren down on my little stool, slinging his hair over his shoulder so I can wash his back. His massive tattoo gleams under the phosphorescent lighting, the black ink unfaded. Does he retouch it often?
I take the shower wand and spray him with ice cold water. With a yelp, he jumps off the stool, grabs the wand out of my hand, and sprays me back.
I take a small bucket and throw the lukewarm water at him. He retaliates by spraying me back. I try to dodge his attack, using the bucket as a shield. We laugh during our water fight, forgetting that we are Certified Adults for the night.
Drenched and delightfully out of breath, I sit him back on the stool to wash him for real. I shampoo his long hair, taking a moment to style it into a wannabe beehive look from the 1960s.
I continue to wash his body carefully with a washcloth, familiarizing myself with forgotten terrain. There is nothing sexual about the way I handle his body. I feel like I'm an artist running my hands through my finished sculpture looking for imperfections, finding none.
We switch spots after he's squeaky clean. He handles me with as much care and attention as I showed him. I find out it's soothing to have someone else bathe you. At first, it's a bit uncomfortable to bare yourself to someone, allowing them to get into your nooks and crannies with the intention of making them clean again. Ren is gentle when he washes my hair, massaging my scalp tenderly. He constantly asks me if the water temperature is to my liking before spraying me down.
I take Ren's hand, guiding him to the tub to soak. He sits down first, allowing me to take the space between his legs. I lean back, he takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around me. The cooled tea chills on my tub's edge, reminding me that we've yet to drink it. I want to give him the tea, but I don't want to break free from this comfortable position. Instead, I let the tea stay on the ledge, mocking me. We sit in the tub enjoying each other's company, talking about nothing for a good while. Relaxed and ready for bed, we step out of the tub, dry each other off and head to my room.
Both tired after a long week, we barely make it to bed. It takes us less than five minutes to drift to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms. Today was entirely innocent, something new, but welcome.
Ren spends the rest of the weekend with me. I clean out my bottom dresser drawer and a portion of my closet for him to use. We go shopping for Japan Clothes for Ren to wear when he's here, so that he doesn't have to worry about carrying luggage from China. He mentions that it's only fair if I have space for my things in his home, suggesting that he'll take me to China soon. The prospect of being introduced to his parents as his girlfriend makes me weak with a mixture of anxiety and joy. I no longer worry about things happening too fast between us since I feel like we're meant to be in each other's lives. I only hope that we remain good friends if this romance fails.
Our month goes by like this. Ren comes to visit me on Fridays and stays until Sunday evening. Being able to see him every weekend makes it feel like we're not long distance. I manage to avoid making plans with Onii-chan and the rest of my friends on the days Ren comes to see me, opting to hang out during the weekday so they don't get suspicious. The dates we go on are always wonderful and somehow flashy. He does his best to impress me, not knowing that he doesn't need to do that anymore, he's already won me over. I'm content to spend the day with him like we do our Sundays: sitting at home, enjoying each other's company, playing board games, and listening to music while cleaning. We make quite the domestic couple, we come to discover. It makes me uneasy how comfortable I am with his information.
Men accompanies his father on the days Ren has custody of him. During those visits, Ren stays in a hotel so the young boy doesn't accidentally out us in front of anyone. As far as Men is concerned, I'm just a really good friend. He never sees us kiss or hold hands, as we've decided to still keep our relationship a secret. Neither of us know how to tell Horohoro yet, nor do we want to. We want to live in our undisturbed world for as long as possible, not owing anyone any explanations. No questions, no judgement.
I can't believe that a month has passed since we started dating. It's been a fun five weeks getting to know Ren in this context. Turns out, Ren is thoughtful and caring. While he doesn't talk much, he listens and empathizes better than most people I know. It's like he's trying his best to rid himself of the selfish asshole he was when he was much younger.
When our bubble finally has to pop, I'd like to know what he's like when we're with our friends. Honestly, I'd like to know what I'm like around them, too. I've never been in a relationship around them before. I don't yet know how I feel about public displays of affection, much less when involving someone who has let themselves become the Distant, Unfeeling Hardass of the Group.
I want to talk to him about it tonight. I want to ask him when he thinks the best time will be to drop this news on everyone. I can't see it going over smoothly, especially the longer we drag it out. I kind of feel like going over to the onsen tomorrow and getting it over with, accepting whatever response comes our way. We'll handle it like adults.
My doorknob shakes as Ren lets himself into my apartment. I made him a key two weeks ago and he can finally use it. Today, he's early. I was expecting him at a later hour, not quite ready to head out anywhere as we usually do on Friday nights.
"Hey, stranger." I greet him from my bed with half a cookie in my mouth.
"I brought some takeout." Ren holds up a bag of what smells like Mexican food. "What's with the outfit?"
"I met up with a professor of mine to go over a grant proposal." I say, as I get off my bed to help him set the food on the table. "What's in the bag?"
"Six-teen street tacos, four burritos, one order of enchiladas swisas, and two churros." Ren looks me up and down as he speaks. He's never seen me look business formal. It might seem odd to him to see lil' ol' Pirika from rural Hokkaidō be dressed in a pencil skirt and button down blouse. By the time he came home, my hair was already down, but marked by the hair tie and bobby pins that used to hold it up.
"What?" I try to act coy, but I know he's checking me out. Did I mention I can rock everything I wear?
"You look really pretty today." Ren kisses me on the forehead. Aw, that's sweet.
"Thank you." I smile at him, swaying my hips a little. I am tempted to undo the buttons of my shirt to tease him, but I don't want to make the situation awkward in case he's not ready to have sex with me. I turn around to get plates and glasses from the cupboards. Before I can complete my step, I feel Ren's hand grab me, his fingers between my skirt and tucked-in blouse. He holds me in place for a moment before reeling me in.
Ren spins me around, takes me in his arms, and kisses me hungrily. I return his enthusiastic kisses, resisting the urge to rip his clothes off. He begins to kiss my neck as he unbuttons my shirt.
By Jove, I've done it.
I let out soft moans, running my hands down his back and gripping his tight ass. Hello, buns. Ren undoes my final button; eager to see what's underneath, he uses both hands to part the fabric, exposing my chest and abdomen.
I finish taking off my blouse.
Ren licks his lips, subtly. He's staring at my breasts, no doubt noting that they're considerably bigger since the last time he was this close to them. I take one of his hands and place it on my right breast. Ren fondles and kisses me.
I want more.
His shirt is in the way, I've decided. I loosen his tie enough for it to come off over his head.
He reads my mind and undoes all of his dress shirt buttons in a flash. A bare-chested Ren stands before me just as I finish getting his tie out of his hair.
I like what I see.
"I want you." I whisper into his ear. Ren picks me up and carries me to my bed. He drops me onto my mattress, kissing me as soon as my back hits the comforter.
This will be fun.
Part II: Our Lips Can Touch
I have been waiting for this moment for eight years.
"DILF." I say, tracing my hand over his Impressive Chest Scar.
"You did not just call me a DILF." He says, amused.
"Oh, I believe I just did." I wink at him.
"Don't tell me you have a daddy complex." He teases, a smile making its way across his face as he lifts my chin slowly so our eyes meet.
"I might." I run my hands down his still well-defined abs. Hot damn.
"Now I'm curious," he strokes my cheek with his hand, "what has been the largest age gap between you and a partner?"
"Um… ten years." I stop my hands at the top of his pants while licking my lips, itching to undo his button.
"Ten years? How old were you?" He starts to get serious.
"Seventeen." I admit, not making much of it and beginning to undo his pants button. I can't wait to get my hands on him.
"You had sex with a twenty-seven-year old? At seventeen?!" Ren's eyes grow wide in concern. He holds my wrists so I can no longer do as I please. Party pooper.
"Yes! What is the big deal? It was consensual. It's all been consensual. I didn't know he was that much older until after - and it doesn't matter, anyway." I make slow, grasping movements with my fingers. So close, yet frustratingly unattainable.
"I just hate to think that he took advantage of you." His grip loosens around my wrists.
"Well, he didn't." I use this opportunity to reclaim the use of my arms and begin to tug at his waistband.
"You're so eager." Ren leans in to kiss my neck. Chills run down my back.
"I want you." I whisper into his ear. By now, his pants are down to his knees. Ren wiggles out of them completely, leaving nothing behind but his boxers. I can see his erection through the thin fabric. My eyes light up. Hello, I have missed you.
Ren slides his right hand up my abdomen slowly, barely making contact with my skin. What a tease. His fingertips reach the bottom of my right breast and begin to trace the underside. I pull my bra up to expose my breasts. Ren takes my cue and squeezes my right breast, while he makes his way down my neck to my left breast, leaving a trail of kisses behind. He looks up at me as he licks my nipple playfully.
I let out a soft moan.
Soon enough, Ren takes my nipple into his mouth, sucking and licking, all the while playing with my right breast. My hands find their way into his hair, prompting his performance with grasps and tugs. I reward his ability to follow implied instructions with whimpers and moans.
The second he decides to switch his attention to my right breast, I throw my bra off and fling it to where I can see his clothes are. It lands somewhere between his shirt and pants. Not bad.
Again, Ren spends dedicated time licking and sucking my nipple, occasionally biting, making me pull his hair in pleasure. I can't remember if he was this good last time, but I'm enjoying myself immensely. Oh, how I've missed his touch.
My hands wander down his spine and make their way towards his ass. I take both cheeks into my hands and give them a tight squeeze. "Firm." I compliment him.
Ren kisses me in response.
"Undress me." I instruct him. Standing over me, Ren slowly undoes the zipper to my skirt. I lift my hips to help him get them off me.
"Cute." He stares at my underwear. Black lace all the way, homie. I spread my legs, allowing him a preview of what he's seen before. I wonder if he remembers what I look like. Before I could continue teasing him, Ren runs a finger up the crotch of my panties, sending shivers down my spine. "You're wet."
I sit up my grabbing a hold of his boxers' waistband and hoisting myself upwards. This motion causes me to expose his silky, purple pubes and the base of his dick in one swift move. Nice. Once sitting on the edge of my mattress, I slide his boxers off gently, allowing them to fall on the floor around his ankles.
"You're hard." I reply. I take in the sight. Did it look like this eight years ago? I can't remember what it looked like, but I can remember how it felt - a thought that sends blood rushing through me, making me quiver.
I reach out to take his member into my hand, stroking it gently. I look up while slowly pumping his flesh, making sure to brush the tip lightly. I can feel his cock harden in my hands and his knees begin to weaken.
"Undress me." I say again, ready to jump his bones.
Without hesitation, Ren slides his thumbs up my panties and rolls them off me. He steps out of his boxers. We are both completely naked, in the same state we were in that morning eight years ago when he broke me. Another time, another place.
I open my legs and place one of his hands on my wet pussy, all the while still stroking his hardening dick, making him arch his head back and say something under his breath. I smile like an evil scientist.
His fingers begin to part my lips, seeking entrance.
"Lie down." I say in a sultry voice. I take his hand off me, not letting go of his erection. Once his back hits the mattress, I pepper kisses down his chest and stomach, making my way to to his erection in my hand. When I reach his pubes, I breathe in deep and stop stroking. Firmly grasping the base, I look into his eyes and lick the tip of his dick slowly.
Ren's hips shake, he lets out a barely audible moan.
I kiss his dick, making sure my lips linger for as long as possible before putting it into my mouth.
Ren's hands find the back of my head, encouraging me.
Pleased, I begin to suck and stroke his hard cock. I alternate between that and licking up and down his shaft, circling the tip with my tongue. Both his hands now grasp my hair tightly and I can feel his lower muscles constricting. Once more, I envelope his dick with my mouth and suck while stroking. After a few minutes of this, I feel his grip on my hair loosen, as he holds my head in place. His muscles contract as he releases into my mouth. The taste is bitter, but not sour. Then very carefully, I pull myself off him and open my mouth once he sits up, showing him all the cum before I swallow. The warmth coats my throat. I lick my lips.
Ren pulls me down onto his chest and holds me tight. His breathing is rigid, I can feel his heart pounding. He kisses my forehead. "You're amazing," he whispers into my hair.
I know I'm amazing, but it's different coming from someone who is known for being hard to impress. The trick is in the wrists.
I let him regain his composure before sitting up and kissing him deeply. He whispers my name on my lips as we part. Ren grabs my waist and flips me on my back, our long hair dramatically falling to our sides. His hand makes it back down towards my stomach, making small, evanescent circles on my hips with his fingertips. He leaves a trail of kisses down my neck all the way to where my thighs meet. He nuzzles himself between my thighs, using his nose to nudge my legs apart.
I do not give in. I want to play.
Sensing that I won't be spreading my legs because he wants me to, Ren looks up at me and smirks. In an instant my legs are thrown in the air, one of his hands holding me by the ankles. I can see my toes wiggle above me. His free hand glides a finger up my wet slit before he kisses it, his warm tongue gliding over my exposed flesh. I audibly let out a deep breath and grip my comforter beneath me.
Two fingers enter me.
Yes!
I spread my legs, undoing his grip, allowing him to pleasure me to his full potential. Grinding my hips on his face, I can feel his nose play with my clit. The pace of his fingers quicken, reacting to my muscles contracting.
I drape my legs over his shoulders, he elevates my hips and keeps eating me out with fervor. I pull and pinch my nipples as I moan, wanting to cum. Finally, after several intoxicating minutes of having Ren's head buried between my legs, I orgasm. My entire body shakes. I didn't know he could do that.
Satisfied with his work, Ren gives me a deep kiss. He gently traces circles on my stomach and lies down next to me. I want to tell him that I'm impressed by how good he's gotten.
"Fuck me." I look him in the eyes. Ren's face becomes excited and energized. I roll over to my nightstand and take out a condom, swiftly ripping the wrapper open with my teeth. I place the open packet in his hand. He turns from me to put it on. Aw, he's shy. I kiss his back right above his buttcrack to tell him that I think he's a cutie.
He makes his way to the foot of my bed, placing himself in front of my mattress. He grabs me by the hips and slides me towards him, spreading my legs to his sides. He looks up at me for reassurance, positioned for action.
"Fuck me." I say again, tilting my head upwards to watch him. He leans in to kiss me once more before entering me, taking his time to feel my warmth and the movement of my muscles. I receive him easily, moving my hips to accommodate him within me. He's not the biggest that I've been with, but big enough to cause some initial discomfort. He slowly starts to move himself in and out of me, grinding his hips while holding my legs open. His serious face is laughable, but I hold it in to not discourage him.
I motion for him to come closer to me, missing his kisses.
Ren leans in, I cup his face with my hands and kiss him deeply.
I can feel his serious expression melt away. He smiles as his kisses me. Our foreheads meet, he lets out a deep breath of relief. For the life of me, I can't imagine why he's so nervous. You're doing well, buddy.
Ren kisses my neck as he fucks me, I moan in his ear for encouragement. My breathing becomes heavy and jagged. He places his hand on my cheek to ask me how I'm doing, looking at me with the most sincere expression I have ever seen from anyone in my life: a mixture of serenity and concern.
I kiss his hand in response. Ren smiles at me and quickens his pace, emitting soft grunts.
I almost want to giggle at the barely audible noises he's making.
I stretch my leg across his chest and over his shoulder to allow him to get a better angel. This seems to please him, fucking me harder and faster, his balls slapping against my ass rhythmically.
His lips part slightly.
Yes!
I begin to rotate my hips in coordination with his movements, my hands tracing his muscular arms.
His eyes are now downcast, enjoying the view of him fucking me. He brings his hand towards my open mouth, I lick and suck his thumb. His wet thumb finds my clit, making small circles, intensifying my pleasure.
I can feel my body heat rise. My back arches. His cock feels incredible.
Ren slides himself out of me entirely.
Oh, I know what he wants.
I flip over to my knees. My arms are now under me. I stick my ass in the air.
He lowers my hips into the perfect height so he can take me from behind. He enters me once more, this time without the caution that he had shown earlier. His hands remain on my hips as he fucks me harder than he had before.
I try to muffle my loud moans by burying my face into a pillow. Ren crouches over me to grab one of my breasts while he fucks me. His other hand finds my clit and begins to rub it tenderly.
I am overcome by sensations. I scream his name.
He rams into me harder in response.
I can feel myself dripping wetness as he pounds me. I grip my sheets, bracing myself for more.
Once again, he slides out of me.
Ren sits on the edge of my bed, pulling me on his lap. I sit on his dick, wrapping myself around his lasting erection. He's broken a sweat, but isn't panting like I soon will be. I begin to grind myself on his lap. Ren slowly leans back as I ride him. His mouth opens the tiniest sliver and his eyes close.
Success.
Using my thighs, I bounce myself on top of him, his hips follow my lead. I run my hands across his chest, once again admiring his Impressive Chest Scar.
He notices me staring at it and sits up. He hugs me, our sweaty chests rubbing on each other as move up and down.
I'm about to reach my limit. My body begins to tingle. I can barely catch my breath. I bite down on his shoulder as I come for the second time with a loud moan.
He orgasms soon after me. He lays down, taking me with him. Still inside me, he kisses me with sloppy, lust-filled kisses, breathing heavily.
Ren kisses my sweaty forehead in between the wide gaps of my bangs. He pulls out, allowing me to slide off him and to his side.
I instinctively latch onto him, my leg stretched over his legs, my arm across his chest. My head is right under his chin.
He wraps his arm around me.
We don't speak for several minutes, taking in the still ambiance to collect ourselves.
Part III: I Like Where We Are, Here
Our breathing has gotten back to normal. The air smells like hormones and freed repression.
"I love you." Ren confesses nonchalantly.
I want to cry out of shock and joy.
I look up at him, "That's just the sex talking."
"I'm being serious, Pirika." He pauses, looking into my eyes, " After we happened the first time, I found out I can't have sex with people unless I love them. I love you, Pirika."
A giant smile forms on my face. Hearing my name come out of his mouth sends jolts down my body. I've never felt like this before. My heart races once more, "You love me?"
"Yes." Ren begins to blush.
"I love you." I kiss him. "I love you, Ren."
Ren smiles and holds me closer.
"Ren?" I ask, making small circles on his peck with my finger.
"Mm?" Ren breathes into my hair.
"Why were you nervous?"
It takes a while for Ren to talk, "You've been with a lot of guys. I didn't know how I would compare."
I have never heard Tao Ren, the man with the ego the size and the intensity of the sun doubt himself. I never imagined that he would be the kind of guy who was sexually insecure.
"That's silly." I giggle.
"Is it, now?"
"Yep." I pause, not knowing how to word what I have to say without sounding like a Lifetime Movie. "You know, this was better than anytime I have ever had."
"You're just saying that."
"I'm not. You wanna know why?"
"Hm?"
"Because you were different than anyone I've been with."
"How so?"
"I don't really know, but you made me feel … loved. I felt safe and like I could trust you to not hurt me. It felt right." I admit, feeling like a Lifetime Movie.
"To be honest, for a minute there, I felt like I was going too hard."
"When?"
"When I was taking you from behind. I was afraid I'd hurt you."
"Oh." I purse my lips. "That was actually pretty mild." I don't know if he'll take that as an insult.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I've been through a lot worse. You don't have to worry about breaking me." I smile at him reassuringly.
"So… the biting...?." Ren looks at the teeth marks on his shoulder.
"What, have you never had anyone bite you before or something?" I almost roll my eyes.
"Can't say I have." He runs his free hand up and down my thigh that has remained stretched across his legs. "You're something else."
"Ren?"
"Yes?"
"How many people have you been with?" I raise my eyebrow.
"Two." It all makes fucking sense now. Ren has only had sex with Jeanne and me. The first time we had sex while fun, was not spectacular. This time, in comparison, was more lively, but still vanilla. I'm starting to think Little Miss Good and Holy, while a delightful person, was not great in the sack. You would think she'd want to let loose after being repressed all those years.
"Was Jeanne bad in bed?" I ask, trying to not make it sound like gossip.
"Jeanne was… delicate."Ren answers, looking at the ceiling.
Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner, Charlie.
"Oh my god, she was boring!" The expression on my face changed from smug to that of a child that just found out the candy machine dispenses two chocolate bars when you only pay for one.
"She wasn't boring," Ren defends his ex-wife's honor, "just delicate… Stop looking at me like that."
"You've never had fun sex, have you?" I know that "fun" varies from person to person. I'm not saying that Jeanne was bad in bed because she liked a more controlled environment, but it makes sense to me now as to why Ren thought he was going overboard with some of his moves. Poor guy just wanted to express himself.
"Of course I have!" Ren's face is now a bright crimson.
"Ah-huh." I don't believe him. "Ever spank someone?"
"No."
"Bite?"
"No."
"Used toys?"
"No." Ren now sounds irritated.
"Roleplay?"
"We tried… I couldn't… get into it." This confession convinces me that Ren really does love me. Which is good, because I really do love him.
"What was it?"
"I'm not telling." He sounds stern.
I pout.
"You know what this means?" I ask him while getting up and walking towards my table.
"What?" He sits up and watches me open the bag of food.
"We've got a lot to cover." I hand him a burrito. He hesitantly takes it from me.
"You eat in bed?" Ren doesn't take a bite until I nod my head. Oh my, looks like my work here far exceeds that of a bland sex life.
"Eat up, you'll need the energy."
We don't leave my apartment all weekend.
Author's Note:
This chapter is a week late. Also, it is my longest chapter at about 6,500 words. This is my first time writing smut, as I think is evident, so, please forgive me for how terrible this is. As for the parts that porn, I hope you like them. I know the end sounds like I'm dissing people with calm sex lives, but I really don't feel that way. I know that everyone is different and some people just can't deal with anything other than vanilla sex for whatever their reason. There is nothing wrong with it. However, I have written Pirika to be sexually adventurous, so I believe "teaching" would be in character. Furthermore, this wasn't meant to be Jeanne bashing, either. I just can't imagine the girl doing much of anything.
Replies
poketat: Thank you always for your reviews and kind words! Also, good luck in college! Academics are more important than fanfiction, I understand :) Also, thank you for comparing Ren to Jem. When I read that, I was in stitches. Kisses!