Turns out Deedee went to hang out with her friends at Leelee's house, so PD and Ben had to get a lift from Dexter's mom, sit in the back seat and listen to her go on about... Mom things? Of course, neither of them really payed her rambles much mind but - typically - PD payed enough attention to politely fake rapt attention, nodding and mumbling affirmatives where appropriate and nudging Ben to do the same when he was addressed. Fifteen minutes later and they've pulled up to the girl's house, greeted her parents and gotten shooed out the back door in as nice a manner as possible, only to find that what was supposed to be a few teens 'hanging out' was actually Leelee's birthday party that she had evidently invited her entire grade to.
"...Maybe we should just wait until Deedee come home to talk to her?It seems horribly rude to pop in on someone's birthday uninvited..." PD suggested, looking for all intents and purposes like he'd rather swallow broken glass and spontaneously burst into flames than move a single inch off the back porch to start searching through the heard of adolescents that took up the entire back yard.
"I'm pretty sure Leelee won't even notice we're here." Ben reasoned before taking a step and immediately being swallowed whole as he moved into the crowd. Despite knowing it would be a futile effort for someone of his stature, PD stood on his toes to try and get a look over sea of heads.
"Ben?" he called, only to realize that even he could barely hear himself over the sheer combined volume of pop music and teenagers. Seeing few alternatives PD took a quick but deep breath, resolutely squared his shoulders and made his way forward. Moving through a large group of people as a short person is an absolute nightmare; no-one sees you and you're constantly being shoved, walked into or tripped over and it takes forever to get where you're going. By the time he caught up with Ben, PD was covered in sore spots form being elbowed, sweat from other people and felt even more uncomfortable than he initially predicted he would. Ben, by the looks of things, did not share his sentiments and was completely unruffled.
"I think I see her over there" the older boy pointed somewhere that was defiantly out of PD's line of vision before grabbing him by the wrist and somehow effortlessly gliding his way past everyone in the general direction Deedee seemed to be.
'Oh, why didn't we just think to use a phone to speak with Deedee instead!' PD lamented. But they were there already despite the glaringly obvious and preferable solution so they may as well get it over and done with.
Deedee, Leelee and Meemee were currently making use of the only little square of land not packed with other people by preforming an expertly choreographed synchronized dance routine. It was clear they'd put in a lot of practice. "I don't think I've seen my sister dance in ages! I've forgotten how happy she always looks when she does!"
"But don't you two see each other every day?"
"Mostly at breakfast and dinner if I'm being honest. We're usually off doing our own things and since she's gotten more serious about dance she doesn't really come down to the lab very often anymore." PD confessed. He smiled at her happily through out the entire number.
"Hi Dexter!" Deedee greeted when she caught up with the duo. "Hey you brought Ben, too! Hi Ben!"
"Oh, Deedee that was a marvelous performance! How long have you three been working on it? It looked like you've practiced quite a bit!" PD praised. Deedee - bright eyed and grinning from ear to ear - had opened her mouth with a reply at the ready when RD seemed to just apparate out of thin air next to her. "You're kidding right? I've seen better dance performances from new-born giraffes! I bet you three just half-assedly threw it together two minutes before you started." he commented scathingly.
Deedee frowned at him. "I see you went splitsies again, huh?"
"Oh, you can see? And here I thought you were born blind! I suppose that means you're just a klutz after all! Fuck, my bad." RD retorted and theatrically face-palmed.
"How'd you know where we were?" Ben asked.
"Deedee's diary, duh."
"You read my diary?" said girl seethed.
"Not my fault if you can't hide your shit adequately."
"Before this escalates any further," PD interrupted "would you kindly tell us where you hid the blueprints? I'd really rather get back to normal as soon as possible. Pretty, pretty please sister dear?" and oh, the face he pulled was just too sweet to say no to, and it was obvious PD knew it, too.
The ballerina made a show of thinking it over, head tilted and index finger tapping her chin, but the smile she was obviously trying to bite back made it clear she was already convinced. "Hmmmm okay! But you gotta play a game with me first!"
"But I thought we were already playing a game!" Ben wined.
"Aw, c'mon Ben! I finished setting that up a week ago! I'm bored with it now, just let me have some fun with this!" Deedee pouted.
"Oh for the love of god, let's just get it over with." RD conceded.
Deedee let out a 'whoop!' and motioned for the trio to follow her to a separated group of teens who'd started to sit in a circle. Clearly everyone had suddenly decided to revert back to the age of ten if that was anything to go by. "We're playing truth or dare. Play for the whole game and I'll tell you where I hid the 'prints!" the girl explained with vigorous enthusiasm.
"Really? That's what you wanna play?" RD moaned with a hard eye roll.
"Hey, it's an oldie but a goldie!" his sister teased.
"It's a juvenile excuse to ask inappropriate personal questions in order fuel the gossip circle and make each other do stupid crap!" Ruder McRuderuderson snapped.
To stop the impending argument, Ben clapped his hand onto RD's shoulder. "We're in!" he agreed. And that, is how the trio ended up sitting knee-to-knee in a cramped circle on the dirt, while the birthday girl spun an empty soda-pop bottle in the center to force chance into choosing her victim for her.
The game started out insufferably boring. Dares were pathetically tame ('touch your nose with your toes.', 'do a funny dance!') and truths were dry and dull at best ('what class do you hate the most?', 'what's your biggest fear?') but eventually as everyone got more comfortable they started taking bigger risks ('I dare you to lick the lid of that dumpster!', 'what's the worst thing you've ever thought of someone and who?'). When Meemee's turn came chance decided it was none other than RD's turn to participate in the folly of mere mortals.
"Dare." he decided without hesitation, ensuring that he interrupted the girl as soon as she made to ask. Deedee waved her over frantically to whisper something at her friend. They both turned to him after nodding at each other and the malicious glint in their eyes made RD immediately regret his entire life.
"I dare you and PD to act like each other for the rest of the game!" Meemee blurted like she couldn't hold it in anymore, then she, Deedee and Leelee all burst into girlish giggles.
"Ha! Stupid girl! You can't dare two people at once!" RD retorted.
"You can if their the same person!" The three girls exclaimed in unison before falling back into their annoying titters. Next to him, Ben let out a snort and PD 'oooh'-ed in excitement. "Sounds like a fun exercise in creativity!" he agreed. RD was having none of it.
"Pass." He growled and leveled the girls with a hardened glare.
"Nu-uh! We all agreed at the start, no one gets to pass!" Deedee challenged. Around the group, random teens murmured their agreements. He may have been the rude alter ego, but - as he said before - he was still Dexter and he had agreed to all conditions when they were made. Grinding his teeth RD forced out a strained 'fine' before sort of just standing there like a lost puppy.
"...Well now what?" he demanded.
"Do something politely!" Meemee urged. Trying to keep his face from twitching RD took a long, deep, calming breath. "Then what would you suggest?" he asked, over enunciating each word as if he were speaking to an particularly slow toddler.
Deedee gave a heavily emoted gasp as if she'd just had the greatest idea in the history of the world's greatest brain-farts. "Ask Ben to kiss you!"
There came a chorus of 'oooh's and a choice few teens let out wolf whistles. RD did his best impression of of Rudolf The Red-nosed Reindeer's nose and the glare he sent Deedee's way promised nothing less than a Mortal Kombat worthy death. Before he could blow his lid however...
"Don't we need Ben's consent for that?" PD quietly piped up. He, too, was concerningly red in the face but seemed no less enthusiastic about going through with it. He was just being his usual polite self.
"Nah, he's not being dared to do anything, he can just say no." Leelee assured.
"Wouldn't we sort of be putting him on the spot, though?" he continued.
"Well then, why not let Ben decide?" Meemee asked, exasperated, and gave a lazy gesture in in said boy's direction. Ben, who'd sort of been a daze throughout the whole argument, shrugged. "I'm down."
"Alright! There you have it, then!" Meemee decided "I dare you both to ask Ben to kiss you the exact opposite way of how you'd do it in any other situation. Go!"
"This is redundant! Why on Earth would you think we're even capable of acting our opposites? We're alter-egos based on specific mannerisms, you useless, empty-headed cu-!"
"Have you tried?" Ben questioned.
"Of fucking course not!"
"Then we wouldn't really know, would we? We're a scientist we really should know better than to just assume something to be true without putting it to the test, don't you think?" PD reasoned. RD leveled him with a look and from there they seemed to fall into some sort of alter-ego telepathy and if the respective and reactionary face journeys they went on were anything to go by it was the debate of an age. This went on for a full five minutes until some random dude yelled out "just do the dare already!" and RD seemed to concede defeat. Polite Dexter 2, Rude Dexter 0.
RD turned to face Ben, tried to relax his face and smile the nicest he could, although it looked more like he was just baring his teeth and would start growling at the brunette like an aggressive attack dog any second. "Ben," he squeaked, cleared his throat, and tried to make the next attempt sound less like he was in actual physical pain. "Benjamin. Would you," he lost his composure for a split second and grimaced before pulling himself back together "oh. So. Kindly," was ground out between clenched teeth in a mouth still clearly trying to smile, but failing gravely "mind. Kissing me?" he finally forced out, then added a clearly displeasured and hastened "please?" as an after thought. The relief was immediate and clearly visible. He'd done it. At some point some irrational part of him fully believed the sheer effort it took to utter that sentience and not do so as a fantastic display of exceptional sarcasm would kill him but so help him, unnamed force of the universe, he'd done it!
He was also so busy congratulating himself that he'd nearly missed the good natured "sure!" Ben threw his way and was caught completely by surprise when Ben did, in fact, kiss him. It was chaste, over almost as soon as it started, and RD was present for exactly none of it. Nonetheless, the saying goes 'fake it 'till you make it!' and RD flawlessly pretended to have his wits about him as he went back to sitting like he had before and acting like it had no effect on him whatsoever while he tried to slow his heart rate down to something that didn't spell cardiac arrest in his near future.
While all of that was going down PD wracked his brain for the rudest possible way you could ask someone to kiss you. Do you insult them? Passive-aggressively challenge them? Order them? Everything he thought of either seemed like it wasn't enough or something he just wouldn't be able to do. It was all in the name of fun and a game with per-determined rules and permissions, yes, but he should still be reasonable about it, right? Right! He still shouldn't do something that he himself would be uncomfortable with. That being said, exactly what would he consider not-uncomfortable, but still relatively rude? He certainly wouldn't want to kiss someone after they've insulted him or arrogantly manipulated him into doing it. If they'd ordered him? He supposed it depended on the context. A game of truth or dare certainly qualified in that regard! It just felt so predictable though, and he didn't want to be boring about it. That left one option. 'Well Ben did say he was up for it...' PD reckoned.
When it was finally his turn to go through with the dare PD completely forwent any questions, demands, challenges and chances, grabbed Ben by the collar of his t-shirt, faked the cocky confidence his alter carried himself with and crashed their lips together before anyone knew what was happening. That, of course, lasted all of 0.2 seconds before the cat calling that followed the previous kiss came back twofold. He gave Ben absolutely no control and when he was done, gently but firmly pushed him away.
-The Opposite Effect-
"Okay! So! The blueprints, yeah?" Deedee started after everyone had collectively decided it was time for cake and presents, and after that the party was over so the four of them decided to walk home. "What's the second last place you'd think to look?"
"Oh, because last place you'd look is usually the first place," Ben deduced like it should have been obvious all along.
"It's in the lab somewhere isn't it? Of course you'd hide it in the lab. It's such a god awful idea only you'd think of it." RD groaned.
"Where in the lab though? It is big enough that we have an abandoned section after all." PD pointed out.
A beat of silence, and then: "I'd probably hide it in the computer if it was me. It's something you use every day, you know? S'funnier." Ben confessed.
"And bingo was his name-o! Mighty good a-sleuthing there, Mr. Detective-defender-of-the-universe!" Deedee congratulated. "This was nice! I missed messing with your stuff," she teased and ruffled both Dexters' hair before dancing her way up to the front door of their house.
"That's why you did all this? Nostalgia? What the fuck, Deedee, get back here!" RD hollered after her in disbelief. She winked and blew a raspberry at them before dissapearing into the house.
AN: *throws chapter out of open car window* See you again in another 8 months, motherfuckers! I'm really sorry it took so fuckin long have some kissies.