I woke up again to a completely different room from before.
It wasn't my bedroom either. The room was mostly empty save for the table on which I was sitting, a rug on the floor, a poster on the wall that I could somehow read despite it not being any language I recognize, and an unlit light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The blue, gray and white color scheme reminded me of my elementary school halls, though I'm almost certain I'm not in a school. It was too quiet for that.
It also didn't reek of the crappy school lunch. I count that as a blessing. That stuff always grossed me out a little, mostly because a bug crawled out of my salad once.
Okay what the fuck is going on here? I can lucid dream and I've always been able to wake myself before. Why isn't it working?
I stood up to walk and I realized something as I fell off the table and my face hit the floor. I was still a four legged robot and my legs are still in the wrong places for bipedalism. At least I could sit up like a human.
I looked down at my arms and legs. They were long and cylindrical, fingerless, and from what I could see, a very shiny metallic white. That wasn't good, how was I supposed to interact with things if I couldn't hold them?
I shook my head to dismiss the thought.
Do not think about it.
My legs looked like cat legs. Or rather horse legs, due to the lack of phalanges. I bent one out of curiosity, trying to get an idea of how well it moved. Smooth, clean and silent. So far, so good.
My back legs are another story. Rather than the human plantigrade legs, the ones I had were digigrade animal legs. The joints felt wrong, even if they were in the right position to support weight. My knee was much higher than what I am used to and my shin bone much shorter. That's another thing actually, I didn't have toes. It was really weird to not have something you grew up with. I gave it a few flexes to see what I'm working with.
The best way I could describe it, is that it felt like I had to get used to working with my toes. Which was weird because I didn't really have any.
Do Not Think About It. Do Not Ponder It.
I looked around the room to see if I can find some sort of reflective surface so I can at least figure out what my face looked like. It sounds stupid, but I'm not really used to my body being behind my head rather than underneath it. You'd be surprised at how weird it is when your head turns differently than you're used to.
Alright. Alright. Better figure out how to walk on four legs before something bad happens and I end up crippled and in pieces. Wow. That sounds so much more morbid now that I'm a robot.
How do I do this anyway? Was this one of those centipede's dilemmas? It would really suck if it was.
Okay Okay. Enough Dawdling.
Weight on one foreleg. Weight on other. Lean forward and get my rear legs in position.
Okay. I was standing now.
Wow.
That was easy! I feel great! I jumped in excitement and nearly face planted again. Right, quadruped. I have to remember to distribute my weight correctly when I jump as well as when I land.
I looked back at the table I woke on. It looked much bigger from the floor. I'm going to assume that my sense of scale is off too. Stupid dream logic.
I tentatively took a step forward. Then another. And another. Until I got used to walking. I was tempted to stand up straight but I figured that I should get used to the body first before trying that. I'm sure I looked ridiculous marching around like a horse.
It's hard to hell the passage of time without a clock, so I can't say how long I paced in the room in silence. Naturally, with nothing to do but pace, I got bored pretty fast.
Believe it or not, I actually got bored enough to try dancing. Yes, I decided to try dancing despite only getting used to walking. I figured 'Hey! Why the hell not? It's not like I had anything else to do anyway.'
Of course dancing isn't fun without music and considering the ridiculous situation I've found myself in, I figured there was no song that fit the situation better than Nyan Cat.
It totally wasn't because I was daydreaming and the song got stuck in my head and won't go away. Nope. Definitely not.
The sudden blast of music reverberating through C-Sec headquarters caused everyone to jump out of their seats.
Before anyone could start pointing fingers. Terran's voice emanated from the intercomm. "No need to panic. It's just a dancing mech. We are taking care of it now."
Still, the song was as catchy as I remembered it, even more so when the volume was cranked up. I felt myself start bobbing, then dancing to the bouncy beat.
I was about to start jogging again when the door opened and two giants came in. I recognized them as the turian that picked me up and the salarian that woke me up. They look a whole lot taller from the ground.
Oh, they don't look too happy. Uh… Quick do something that won't result in dismemberment!
I stood up straight to the best of my ability. "Hi Welcome to Michael's Arts and Crafts! How may I be of assistance!" I chirped.
Wait what? Why did I say that? I'm not on the register, or at work for that manner. "Uh… I'm not.. Ummm… Please ignore that." I added sheepishly. At least my voice was still the same as always. I probably would've cried if I sounded like a robot. "So where am I?"
The two aliens glances at each other and then turned back to me.
"You are in Citadel Security headquarters." The turian spoke first. His words were completely unfamiliar to me. They sounded a bit like guttural chirping crossed with latin, yet I somehow understood them just the same. "Please turn down the music. It's disturbing my colleagues and shaking the building."
My brow furrowed in confusion at his words. Music? What music? I don't have a music player. Wait… Nyan Cat? My eyes widened. "Has Nyan Cat been playing out loud?"
"Yes." Replied the Salarian. "Several colleagues are now complaining about it being stuck in their head. It's very catchy you see.."
"Oh." What Could I say? That I didn't know that playing the song in my head would mean playing it out loud? That I was dreaming? The truth I guess. "I didn't know I could play music out loud."
"Oh we are aware. Some of your files have indicated repeated failed memory wipes. A large portion of your memory is likely corrupted because of it." Said the salarian at break neck speed. "You have left us in a bit of a bind seeing as no one knows what to do with you. There are no laws regarding Biosynthetics and while it's protocol to contain and destroy rogue AI there is no such thing for an organic victim."
"I am not going to lie. I have no idea what you just said." Seriously, he talks faster than ME on expresso. "But seeing as I'm a robot in the middle of nowhere as opposed to being in my bedroom I'm going to assume that I am either dreaming, or something horrific has happened to me. If it's the latter, I do not want to know as it would probably be hazardous to my health."
I paused for few moments to let it sink in. "Now that that's over with. We should probably introduce ourselves. It's kind of rude to just call you turian and salarian with the orange light in my head."
"Garrus Vakarian. C-sec Detective"
"C-sec?"
"An abbreviation. I am Sepin Zisal. Tech specialist. Now who might you be?" He asked. He seemed really excited for some reason. I wonder why. After all, I'm surrounded by aliens. I can't be that special can I?
"Oh. Hi Mister Vakarian. Mister Zisal. I'm L-" Then I stop.
What was my name?
I know I have one. But What was my name? WHAT WAS MY NAME?
Why didn't I know it?
I felt myself sag into the ground. I didn't like my name much but it was still my name.
I felt a headache beginning to form.
You know what? I'm not going to think about it.
"I- I I-can't remember." I confessed. "I don't. I knew it a minute ago. And now I don't. I don't understand." But I had to go by something. I didn't want to be called something stupid or rude. I just knew that someone would try to name me something dumb like Dickhead or something. "It started with L. I know that. Uh….. Can I get back to you on that? Ummm.. Anyway, Pleased to meet you."
"Likewise. Until you recall your name I will address you as Subject 843 as noted in the file."
At this point I realized that them having a file on me was probably not a good thing.
"Might I ask why you have a file on me?"
"That's classified information." Said Vakarian. "We believe that given your circumstances, it may be best for you to recover before telling you the contents. You have sustained a degree of damage to your memory database."
Database? What database?
Oh, right. I'm a robot and I don't know my name. I can't really deny that I guess. What do I do now?
I'm pretty sure I shouldn't trust what strangers say. Especially since my memory is on the fritz. But I got a good vibe from from Mr. Vakarian. Something told me that he could be trusted. It was the same thing that let me know about turians and salarians and stuff.
I don't want to think about how I know that.
Dream logic can be pretty weird.
"I have a question. C-Sec. Is that the police? Or a private security company?" I asked. Because I've never heard of it. Although it does resonate with something inside me. It took a few moments, but the answer to my own question came to me just like before. "Wait never mind. I know the answer. Somehow." I felt my ears twitch in annoyance. "Dream logic is weird." I muttered under my breath.
The two of them glance at each other and Vakarian spoke again. "What makes you think you are dreaming?" He asked in that 'don't anger the crazy person' tone.
"Well, I'm surrounded by creatures that I've never seen but I somehow know about. Answers keep popping into my head which is disturbing. My legs are in the wrong place and I'm made of metal." I began listing. The more I thought about it, the more I could find holes in the dream. Seriously, normally I would've have woken up by now. Something is definitely up. I could feel myself becoming slightly hysterical as I neared the end of my rant. "Everything feels dull and muted. Plus I'm sparkling pearly white and bald!"
I blinked in dismay and slammed my hand into my face.
Did I seriously just… Complain about being bald? Where did that one come from?
On another note, my face feels funny too.
Forgetting the present company I begin feeling up my face. It's not flat like the face of a human, it's more pointed broad. A little like a cat's head but different. Wow, I really need to find a mirror. I trailed my hand over to where I felt my ears move. They weren't the flat wrinkly things that I had taken for granted. They were long and pointed a little like rabbit ears, but not flat.
Am I seriously a robot space cabbit? Seriously?
Okay Okay. Enough is enough.
Welp. Nothing else has worked, so there's only one thing left. I put my arm into my mouth and began chewing it.
It hurt a little, but not enough. I was still dreaming.
Keep chewing.
I think a part of the metal has actually separated from the rest of my arm. I can feel it sticking up a little in my tongue.
I grip the part that was sticking out and pull the piece off.
My arm felt like it was on fire. It hurt. It stung. A voice from somewhere screamed for me to stop. But I didn't.
Pain.
Now that was more familiar.
I looked down expecting to see blood flowing out of the wound or at the very least, subcutaneous fats sitting atop muscle.
I saw neither.
I saw a mass of lights drifting from section to section via several wires. I saw a several metallic rods arranged in such a manner so as to support the hoof like cylindrical structure that now made up my arm.
But my arm throbbed.
Why wasn't I waking up?
I can't say how long I stared at my self-inflicted injury. But I stared for quite a while as everything else fell away from my mind. Eventually the world turned sideways on me and I fell into darkness.
Garrus watched in shock as Subject 843 went from carrying a bizarre but understandable conversation to suddenly trying to rip up her leg. The transition was so sudden that he couldn't even react until she collapsed.
The mech had been remarkably expressive and life like. Its large round eyes had literally lit up when he entered the room. The pupils displayed in the eyes dilated and constricted throughout the conversation as it processed the information.
The reactions to everything were also organic.
If he listened to the audio file he wouldn't have known she was partially synthetic at all. Her voice has no robotic intonations.
Fortunately for him and Sepin, the damage done to herself was mostly minor and cosmetic. Nothing that couldn't be fixed between himself and the salarian.
Apparently Syntell wasn't kidding when they strove to make them as lifelike as possible. Subject 843 even had teeth and a tongue despite not needing them to speak.
Garrus glanced at the security feeds. Subject 843 was still inert from the outburst earlier. How ever Subject 24 and Subject 13 had reactivated and were currently chewing their restraints and howling. "Spirits." He moaned as he realized just how bad things could get. "I'm in charge of guarding a bunch of deranged mechs and the only sane one just tried to rip off her arm."
"That was unfortunate but not entirely unexpected." Mused Sepin. He tapped a few things into his omnitool before continuing. "It confirms my suspicions regarding the breakdowns. Mental strain of sudden shift in paradigms likely overwhelmed the psyche. It explains the violent and self destructive behavior in the older ones."
"Yeah. The strain of being turned into one of those things must be incredible." Garrus couldn't really help but feel bad for the overall situation. It would be more merciful to end their existence. Unfortunately his hands were tied until the Pallin and the council could decide what to do with them. "Did you manage to record the process at least? Figure out a way to stabilize them so they don't go on a rampage?"
"I have some data recorded. But I suspect that for subject 843 at least, there may be a chance she can self stabilize. She is definitely the most advanced one out of all of them." Sepin bounced in excitement. "I could publish a paper on this and win dozens of awards! Oh this is wonderful! Genuine biosynthetic creatures! Imagine the possibilities!" He continued babbling in excitement before catching himself and calming down. "Ah… That was unbecoming of me. I shouldn't take advantage of a victim's circumstances. I apologize."
"Sure." Garrus glanced at him warily before gesturing for a report. "What did you pick up and just how organic are they?"
The salarian pulled up several charts. "Subject 843 seems be 90 percent synthetic. Only the nervous system is mostly organic with cybernetic enhancements. If you compare my charts with the feeds you will notice that the spikes in brain activity line up with her expressions of disbelief, shock and horror. Patterns in brain waves indicate either a young adult or a late adolescent, which also lines up with her current behavior."
What a mess.
"The lesser subjects vary between 95 and 80 percent. Assuming I am interpreting the journal entries correctly, the majority of them are proof of concepts." Sepin dismisses his charts and returns to his stack of reports. "They cannot do much more than they are already doing."
Which meant that the mechs chained in the cells can definitely be aggressive and noisy but are easily contained.
"I cannot say the same for the greater subjects."
At this point another officer popped into the office. "Vakarian. Zisal. The executor wants to see you."
I can't say I knew how long I was out.
I really can't.
I just knew that when I opened my eyes again, I was in the same room as before.
And I was still a robot.
My eyes trained on my arm which rested in front of me.
It was back to its original state but I could see several scuff marks where I had bitten it. It kind of hurt. Which was good. It meant that I could still feel.
I'm still a robot.
Time is passing.
I'm still me.
Right?
I knew my biology though. I had to take a bunch of courses in college.
I knew a bit of psychology too. I knew how much the biological processes influenced the psyche.
Do not think about it. Do not ponder it.
I tried to shake the thoughts out of my head, but I found I didn't have the energy for it.
I wanted to get up. I wanted to do something. Anything to stop the thoughts running through my head.
Anything to avoid the growing existential problem.
Drawing? I don't have fingers. Only phantom sensations.
Running? I'm a quadruped.
Dancing? My center of balance is different from before. I'd fall on my face.
There wasn't anything for me to do.
So I remained where I was, and pondered the nature of my existence.
Was I really alive? Or Am I dead? I am thinking so I'm definitely alive, even if it's not the scientific definition of alive. Maybe I am alive just in a way that no one else is. I guess maybe that means I'd have to eat soon.
I had a tail too.
Somehow I'd missed that when I was running around the table. My tail.
Suddenly I was acutely aware of it. I felt the end of it twitch when I realized this.
What else could I do? Did I have claws somewhere on me too? I'd feel them right?
I tightened my fist as I normally would and looked down at my han- foreleg. Maybe there was something I could see?
Nothing.
I flexed my fingers and wiggled them. I'm fairly certain I felt something moving.
But I didn't see anything.
Oh. I guess I imagined it then.
Okay, going along that route makes me depressed. I'm just going to assume that I do have phalanges of some sort and that I'll find them later. It makes not being able to draw or crochet a whole lot less painful.
I sighed and wondered if I was actually sighing or if I was just being a robot. I chose to believe it was the latter. At the very least, I can go and explore underwater without worrying about an air supply.
Or maybe not. I'm just as likely to be locked up in a room.
I don't know what to think.
I rolled onto my stomach and slammed my face into the ground. It hurt, and for a moment I almost saw stars. But they faded and I was left with the sensation of falling. It was much like the feeling that you get when you fall asleep.
Honestly, who else has been in this situation?
I'm hoping this is another dream, that the falling feeling meant that I was about to wake up.
But my hopes were dashed when it didn't happen. I suppose I'll try again later.
Still, something told me that I wasn't awake anymore and while I could still feel the room I was in, I kind of agreed.
I could move within my head, as weird as that sounded. Huh.
Was I dreaming inside of a dream?
No.
I wasn't.
A dream would've meant surreal things that made no sense. It would've meant I was somewhere at the very least.
There was nothing.
I only saw a vast expanse of darkness. Somehow despite there not being anything to indicate it, I knew I was in a wide open space that had some stuff in it that I couldn't see.
It honestly felt a bit like a videogame matrix, but that couldn't be right.
Could it?
But right as I thought this something happened. Everything seemed to flicker for a moment and a figure appeared.
It was maybe the size of a large house cat. Pearly white and slightly translucent. It had a broad flattish head and very large eyes with a single lense in between them, four blunt legs that arranged it into a sitting position and a tail the same length as its entire body. It had long rabbit like ears protruding from its head.
It was me. Sort of.
I looked down at myself in this dreamlike world and saw my own human fingers. I was in the same clothes before I woke up here. My black hoodie, my favorite black and white striped shirt, and running shorts.
I paused for a few moments and tried to feel where my physical everything was. My hands and legs were still where I left them. My non existent fingers twitched from somewhere and so did my tail. I wonder if I have toes.
Weird. I guess in my head, I could still be me. That was a comfort to know. Even if it was usually true for people anyway.
I looked at my figure model self thing for a few moments before I noticed something.
Hovering just beneath it was a plaque of sorts.
It was covered in a crap ton of -something-.
I have no clue what it was.
Wait, no. That's a lie.
That's my character sheet, for the lack of a better term. It lines up with what I know about myself and what I can remember. Which really isn't much.
Current Designation:
Name: L-[CORRUPTED]
Gender: FEMALE
Purpose: GUARDIAN
Date of activation: 4/13/2180 [CORRUPTED]
Armaments: NONE
Current Utilities: Biometric scanner, Music player, [CORRUPTED]
I rubbed away at the Utilities section, trying to remove the gunk. If I took Sepin at his word, my guess would be that this was the corruption that he spoke of. A little bit came off after a while revealing the words biometric scanner.
Okay. Sure. That sounds like it would be handy. As soon as I figure out how to use it anyway.
I scrub at the section where my name was covered but nothing happened. That stain looked like it was ground in and it would take more than a few moments worth of cleaning to clear it up.
I felt my shoulders sag in disappointment. I don't know why, since nothing is ever this easy.
Still, I could get back to it later.
In the meantime I think I'll just sit here and enjoy being human for a little while
Yeah.
I think I'll do that.
AN:
I actually meant to post this earlier today but things kind of happened and I forgot about it. I know I have a problem with info dumping early into stories and I'm trying to rectify that.
I still have plot bunnies. But hopefully this isn't too weird or stuff.
Either way, I hope you enjoy it.
leave a comment. ^_^