This is set during the Revolutionary War in 1778. Please excuse me if I cannot write the language of this era perfect
Head canon that Alexander is terrified of storms and if left unchecked will actually start to see the people that died during the hurricane.
Alexander sat at the writing desk in his and Laurens's shared tent, scribbling away with his quill. The report was due by dawn the next day, and Washington had made it clear that it was extremely important that he finish it. He was halfway done when it started to pour. He ignored the rain completely until BANG! Thunder crashed overhead. "I-it's nothing but a storm..." he muttered, trying hard not to let the crashes get to him. The longer he worked, the louder the storm got. BANG! CRASH! He looked up for a moment and saw the silhouettes of his brother and villagers.
"Why did you let us drown, Alexander?' they cried.
"I..could not..reach you..."
Alexander stood up, rubbing his eyes then they were directly before him. They yelled and howled about him letting them drown. "I...I..." He backed away, tears burning in his eyes as the storm raged above. His legs hit the edge of the cot, sending him tumbling onto the bed. "Stop...STOP! Y-you were trapped beneath rubble... I... could not reach you James..." Tears ran down his cheeks, his hair askew.
"YOU LET ME DIE!" James screeched at him.
Across camp, John and Lafayette were exiting the meal tent when thunder rolled overhead, and it began to pour. "The cannons!" John yelled as the wind picked up. Lafayette swore in French and ran towards the men, yelling orders to secure the heavy artillery. The wind drove a chill into John's bones as he rushed to help secure the cannons, his boots finding little purchase on the muddy ground; his hair was cemented to his flesh by the heavy rain. After ten long minutes in the frigid rain, the cannons were secured, so John headed back to his tent to change into dry clothing and curl up with Alexander to read before turning in.
The shorter man would often tuck his head under John's chin as they read, and John would run his fingers through Alexander's fair ginger hair, said man sighing in delight. John smiles, hastening his pace, but he was mindful not to slip on the flooded ground. He nods to the Marquis as he enters his own tent, receiving a nod and tired smile in return. He wonders how Mulligan, their spy disguised as a tailor, is doing. He hears the man is an excellent source of information regarding the actions taken by the British. Personally he'd never met the man.
John enters the tent, expecting to be greeted by the sight of his lover writing; instead he saw a half finished report on the desk. John wondered why Alexander would stop half way through his task. He shook his head, removing his sopping coat and hanging it up before going to change into his warm dry nightclothes. He sighs in relief as he peels his shirt off both pairs of his breeches following suit then his stockings. After pulling on his night shirt and under breeches, he wrung the water from the wet clothing and hung them to dry with the coat.
He picked up the novel he'd started last week, ready to curl up and read while Alexander finished his report the very thought easing his tension. All thoughts of a quiet evening with his lover dissipated when a shrill cry reached his ears. He went to the sleeping area and saw Alex sat in the furthest corner of the cot, his knees drawn to his chest, tears running down his cheeks, his face pale as a sheet and shoulders shaking. John threw his book aside and went to comfort Alexander. He climbed onto the cot and sat before the frightened man. "Alexander, what ails you, dearest?"
Alex felt the bed dip and looked up, his pupils shrinking upon seeing his cousin glaring at him with the others. "Sodomy, Alexander? You're disgusting!" Caspio spat. "It's not like he LOVES you!'" Alex whimpers, more tears falling from his wide, hazel eyes. John took his hand and squeezed it. "Alexander?" He says, a bit of panic making itself known when his lover drew away from his touch, curling further in on himself. CRASH! BOOM! Alexander screamed, clamping his hands over his ears and mumbling things that broke John's heart further. "I...I am n-not good enough am I...not w-worth his... t-time..."
John hugged Alex, feeling tears burning in his eyes. "It is not about worth dearest... I love you for who you are."
"But does he really?" Caspio taunts as water continues to climb the canvas of the tent. "You should have drowned with US!" Alex clutches the sleeves of his uniform coat, nearly tearing the faded fabric, breathing unevenly, his eyes glassy.
"Alexander!" John said, panicking more when Alexander did not respond.
"See now you've gone and irked him." James's voice sounded warped as he mocked his terrified sibling. Alexander watched the walls close in, the voices becoming warbled, the water climbing ever higher. "I deserve this...for my sins...my failures..." He was drowning his eyes slipping shut.
John felt tears slide down his cheeks, hearing Alex being so hard on himself. John took a shaky breath and grabbed his lover by the collar of his clothes and pulling him forward, "I love you to the moon and back. I love you more than all the stars in the night sky. NEVER forget that." John connected their lips, tears sliding faster down his cheeks feeling Alexander shaking.
Alexander's eyes snap open and the world spins for a moment. He presses his lips back against the other set of slightly chapped lips feeling John's tongue wet his lips slightly. The demons of his past vanish, being replaced by, "Laurens..?"
John nearly wept with joy, hearing Alex call to him. "I'm here, Alex." Alexander clung to him, connecting their lips a second time, shaking in his lover's arms. John rubbed his back, disconnecting their lips. John rubs the tears from his eyes murmuring that he should change into his nightclothes. Once changed, he returns to their cot, lying down with John behind him as the big spoon.
Alexander turned to face him and tucked his head beneath John's chin, listening to him read a section of the novel he'd started the week prior. Lightning flashed outside, and Alex jumped, digging his face further into John's chest shaking, his grip on John's nightshirt tightening.
John was drawn from the literary world when he felt tears dampening his nightshirt. He stopped reading and marked his place, setting the book down. He gently brushed his fingers through Alexander's ginger locks, whispering, "Is it the thunder?"
Alex shakes his head. "It is the s-storm in general." John nods, lifting Alex's chin, seeing that he's crying. He brushes away the tears gently and rubs his cheeks, startled when his lover begins to weep again.
"Alexander..." John whispers, his heart sinking. "Why are you weeping?"
Alexander bows his head, "Because I have upset you dear Laurens."
John shakes his head "You have done no such thing, however I was worried, seeing you in such a frantic state."
Alex looks up at him a, soft sob escaping his lips. "My sincerest apologies, d-dear Laurens."
John tips his chin up and gently kisses him. "You have no reason to be. We all have our fears," he whispers once their lips part.
"Why do I own the affections of your heart John? I...I have done little to earn it..." Alexander replied.
"Because you are unique and passionate. You stand by what you believe and prove you have what it takes to survive in this world," John replied, continuing to run his fingers through Alexander's ginger locks.
Alex blushed. "I have no response to that statement..."
John laughed softly, his eyes twinkling in the low candlelight. "Then say nothing and accept my affection."
Alex feels tears run down his face. "I..I am not entirely certain why I am crying now...I cannot place the emotion I am feeling."
John kissed his cheeks "Then do not think, dearest. Just feel." Alex's cheeks darken, and he takes a shaky breath, nodding his head, leaning against his lover's chest as John ran his fingers through his hair, soothed by the familiar gesture.
The storm, which had quieted since John's return to the tent, was picking up again, the rain pelting the tent's sides, and a loud clap of thunder echoes in the trees. John holds Alexander tighter to reassure him that he's safe. "Why do storms upset you dearest?" he asked him.
"When I w-was seventeen, a hurricane hit Nevis, the island where I come from. The town was destroyed and many p-people drowned. I...I lost my brother James to the flood waters. I...I feel like I wrongly cheated death...when I emerged from the shelter I hid under b-bodies which were adrift everywhere. I have been terrified of storms ever s-since..."
John frowns hearing that Alex feels he should have died. "I see. If I survived such a thing I would be frightened of storms as well. However, never say you should have died. You lived for a reason and I am glad you did."
Alex turns a dark shade of red. "I am glad we met as well," he squeaks.
"Perhaps I could distract you from the storm?" John suggested, drawing a darker blush from his companion.
"I want to John, believe me. I..I am just not...in the mood..."
John nods in understanding and tightens his hold, feeling Alexander start to shake again. "I see them...the dead people...they remind me I...do not deserve to be..."
John silenced him with a kiss. "Never say you are unworthy of the happiness you found here." John kisses him again, holding him close once their lips parted, rubbing his back soothingly. "The shadows you see are nothing but the faded echoes of your past. Your past cannot hurt you unless you allow it to do so. The past shall stay in the past."
"I...I wish it were that simple..." Alex whispered, jumping when lightning flashed outside, his eyes closing tightly, a few tears escaping down his cheeks. "It n-never goes away, John. I've t-tried leaving my past behind me... but it always comes back!" John jumped when Alexander suddenly raised his voice. "I want to be rid of my demons, John! I want them to leave me in peace!" Alex was trembling, his eyes bordering on wild.
"Alexander..." John sighed hating seeing his partner so riled up.
"No John! You do not understand! You never will!" Alexander snapped, John drawing back in shock.
"I do understand. Why do you insist that I do not?" John asked warily. He just wants to turn in and cuddle with Alexander.
"You have had it easy! Not in war, but outside it!" Alex was unaware of what line he was coming close to crossing with John, and John looked hurt.
"Because I'm a quaint white boy born into a rich family in the South?" John asked.
"Yes!"
John's eyes filled with tears his upbringing a sore subject.
Alexander saw the tears in his lover's eyes and reached for him only to have his hand slapped away. "Is that all I am to you?! Maybe you're right in saying you do not deserve the affections of my heart!"
John regretted those words the moment they left his mouth; Alexander looked like he'd been shot. "See now look what you've done," the voices hissed. 'He does not love you! He detests you!' John froze hearing Alexander start to sob his body trembling an absolutely heartbroken expression on his face. "Alexander I..." John hates quarreling with him for this reason, they both say things they regret.
"I d-don't know why I try..." Alexander turns and runs from the tent into the rain.
"Alexander!" John yells after him but the man was already gone.
John hugs himself, feeling guilty for playing off Alexander's insecurities to win a petty argument that only started because both of them are tired and stressed. he knew one thing for certain: he cannot leave his lover to brave the storm alone. He pulled on his heavy coat and boots heading to find Alexander.
Outside, Alexander ran, not having any destination in mind, the rain pelting his skin as hot tears flowed down his cheeks. He finally lost his footing, sending him tumbling onto the muddy ground, the sting of landing on his bare knees making itself known. Alex sat up, looking around, and yelped when thunder crashed overhead, reminding him why he should not be outside. He whimpers in fright wanting nothing more than to run back to the tent and jump into John's arms before he remembered what he'd said. You deserve this! Die alone! He does not love you! You deserve to suffer! TO DROWN LIKE US!
Alex drew his knees to his chest, weeping bitterly at how right they were. He ruined everything he touched. Anytime anything good happened, his presence turned it sour. The thunder made his breaths short, the panic returning . He sat beneath the dead tree he'd fallen under, the rain soaking him to the bone, not doing a thing to stop himself from catching hypothermia. He sat there, freezing for ten minutes jumping at every clap of thunder, his heart racing, and he felt he deserves this.
John had been searching for his lover through the storm for the past hour, becoming more and more frantic with each place he searched without success. Finally, right as he was going to tell the general of the incident he spotted a man sitting under an ash tree. He rushed over nearly falling as he reached the man. Alexander! I...I...was scared I had lost you for good..."
Alex looked at him, "You would like that..."
John frowned and picked him up bridal style, draping a dry coat over him to shield him from the rain. "Hush." John walked back to their tent, stepping inside and tying the flaps down before carefully setting Alexander on the spare cot. He removed the heavy coat and boots grabbing a dry rag to warm Alexander before he caught his death.
A half hour later, Alex was in warm dry clothes once again though he is still upset at himself. The silence is heavy with the two sitting across from each other not saying anything, regretting what transpired earlier. Finally John spoke up, looking upset, "Why did you run into the storm?! I was ready to tell the general that you disappeared! I was scared out of my mind!"
Alexander flinched,."I only cause you more stress...I am not worth that..."
John slammed his hands atop the table."I get stressed because I love you! I worry because you matter more than anything in this world to me! I cannot lose you Alex...I love you too much..."
Alex began to cry more, "But I am not worth your affections, worry or stress! I am a worthless..."
"CALL YOURSELF A WORTHLESS WHORE-SON ONE MORE TIME!" John shouted and it was silent spare the howl of the wind.
"I...I crossed the line earlier...I...I understand if you no longer desire my companionship, but I am deeply sorry dear Laurens."
John runs his fingers through his hair, "As am I...can we please not fight any more tonight?" Alexander nods turning to curl up on his cot. "Are you going to leave me by my lonesome tonight?" John asked, saddened by the thought.
"You desire my company after everything that transpired tonight?" Alexander asked.
"You speak as though I am giving you the choice."
Alexander nearly launched himself into his lover's arms kissing every inch of his face. "Kiss me properly Alexander." John purrs.
"As you wish." They shared a kiss and their troubles melted away until BANG! Alexander whimpers pulling away from the tender kiss seeing the angry silhouettes appear with the flash of lightning.
John pulled him close his back against John's chest. "They cannot hurt you, Alexander." John says rubbing circles on his back. Alexander turned to face him tucking his head beneath John's chin. John sits up abruptly and leaves the cot, going to the desk and picking up the candle.
"J-John..." Alexander says.
"I'm here dearest." John replies setting the candle down on the table putting his book away.
He climbed back onto the cot blowing out the candle and wrapping his arms around Alexander. The sheet was tucked around them both, the only sounds being Alex's faint whimpers when thunder sounded. John rubs his back, "Don't cry, dearest. I'll protect you from the storm." Alexander relaxes into his grasp, the angry voices fading into the wind as John runs his fingers through his hair.
"I love you John." He yawns, smiling. John smiles at the man in his arms, pressing a kiss to his temple. "I love you to the moon and back.." Alex smiles back at him in the dark, the storm fading into the background as he slowly falls asleep, lulled by the sound of John's heartbeat.
John holds him tighter for brief moment before closing his eyes and falling asleep himself. Curled up in the safety his lover's embrace, Alexander did not wake until morning.
Needless to say, the report was never finished, but upon seeing the two men asleep when he came to inquire why the report was late, Washington decided a few hours delay would be well worth it.
In the eye of the Hurricane there is silence, for just a moment a yellow sky.