The mech was turning out to be as big of a headache as Harkin . Thought Palin as he walked into his office. He expected no less from the newest citadel species but this was getting ridiculous. He really hoped that Harkin wasn't an average human specimen because he was more irritating than a krogan.
Li on the other hand was definitely not the average human specimen. She was synthetic. Mostly, synthetic anyways he amended in his mind. Spirits! She was annoying, always asking questions about everything, interrupting conversations, and going places she really shouldn't.
According to Zisal, this was very common amongst late adolescent humans where the brain development resembles that of a toddler.
How sad.
Palin supposed that this meant all of the human diplomats he'd seen were also late adolescents. They whined and protested like green soldiers and constantly planted themselves in everyone's business.
The salarian had also mentioned giving the mech some leeway regarding social conventions as she appeared to be from long before the relay 314 incident predating present times by at least a century, maybe more. Evidence of this included the use of archaic linguistic terms such as movies, internet, and dollars, and being baffled at the existence of various historical events despite them being extremely well known like the relay 314 incident.
She was at least self aware enough to attempt rectifying her ignorance.
How in spirits name did he end up with two people he couldn't dispose of? The human embassy kept intervening whenever he tried to get rid of Harkin and Li's situation had a gag order placed on her.
The talking mech trailed in a few moments after him and looked around the room curiously. Prolate spheroid ear like structures pointed up as she looked around the office. The pupils were constricted to tiny spots as she turned her head towards him.
"Come here." He commanded.
The mech cocked her head as she glanced between him and the spot where she was currently standing. She picked up her leg as if hesitant about something but walked to him and hopped onto his desk.
That was anothing thing in fact.
Her small size made interactions relatively difficult. Standing at the typical accepted space in front of his desk meant that he couldn't see her unless he stood up. Standing at her current position half way across the room would require them both to shout, which would defeat the purpose of a private conference anyway.
He wasn't going to make her stand on her hind legs when she clearly couldn't just to discuss something.
Thus, he was forced to allow her to sit on the corner of his desk despite how unprofessional it was.
Li's pupils were still constricted, an excellent display of nervousness or agitation, very common in organics, turians especially, since their bright eyes tend to stand out against the darker carapace. She was slightly hunched over, tension drifting off her metallic form, another organic trait.
Her creator truly out did themselves making her. It's a shame that her chances of living are relatively slim.
Li, as if reading his mind, spoke first. "If the council has decided to terminate me I would like say something before I die." She took a simulated deep breath and kept talking. "There is no law that forbids the creation of biosynthetics such as myself. If I have been classified as an AI then I would like to retract my previous statement and say that there is no law against BEING an AI. I also have organic parts that play a vital role in my functions, meaning that I am alive. Thus it is unconstitutional to kill me for simply existing and to kill me would be legally and morally wrong."
The mech then stared at him with firm resolution, as if daring him to end her life. He was fairly certain that Li would've tried to liberate some of his fingers from him if he set her off.
Pallin conceded to himself that what she spoke ultimately rang true and that he would be using that argument once the situation called for it.
Nonetheless, that was not why he called her into his office.
"What you say is indeed correct." He began, heading off any potential conflict. "However, the nature of your existence is only one of the reasons I called you in here."
Just like that, the tension drained from the mech, though the pupils remained slightly constricted. One of the ears twitched in curiosity. "Am I in trouble for letting out the dogs then?"
"Not the canine mechs no." He began. "I believe you are aware that running in the halls is prohibited and many people have asked you to stop walking on the walls. I'd like an explanation why you continue to do so."
"Oh that's easy." The pupils dilated back to normal. "I got tired of tripping people whenever I stopped to look at something so I run on the walls." Her eyes began to dilate again. "Plus there's this jerk, Harkin. He got mad when I wouldn't hide his beer for him. He likes to kick me whenever I end up in front of him. I thought it was an accident the first few times. But he follows me around and does other stuff." She shrugged but did not specify. Then her ears folded against her head in irritation. "He tried to make me do his paperwork too but Sepin was nearby and cut in before I could say anything. Normally I'd kick him back but apparently that would get me classified as dangerous to the public."
Pallin nodded as the mech prattled on about how much she wanted to kick Harkin other acts of violent retribution. The turian decided not to voice his agreement with her threat classification. Her desire for violent retribution was rather alarming as was her fascination with watching autopsies and he needed to keep an eye on that.
At least the reasons for her actions were sound. "Why didn't you file a harassment report on Harkin? Or go to a commanding officer?"
The mech looked at him like he was an idiot. "The officers are busy enough without me bothering them for petty issues and harassment reports don't do anything. The embassy is just going to come up with some half baked excuse for him."
"I see." He nodded to show he understood what she said. "The other issue is your cover story."
Li cocked her head curiously "Okay? What about it?"
"While you may not be in the public eye, people will certainly know of you. Several people visiting the station have already seen you. No doubt questions would be coming very soon-"
"-and the council has decreed that my status as a living robot be kept under wraps." She blinked and frowned as if she were surprised at the words that came out of them.
"Now then." he continued after a moment. "We need a cover story for your existence. The other mechs can be explained as a way to replace the canine squad. The timing works out anyway-"
"-But I'm the only one that can talk and that's weird."
Pallin twitched his mandibles in annoyance and stared at the mech.
Li shrank back and rubbed her head sheepishly. "Ehehehe. Sorry."
She really needed to fix this awful habit of interrupting people.
"Anyway. We need an official designation as well as a way to categorize you and the others."
"Well, I'm a biosynthetic. So something like Biosynthetic class: human." The mech frowned and began pacing on the desk. She continued to mutter to herself as she started to process the parameters of the issue. "Biosynthetic is kind of a mouthful to say. Not to mention really vague. It'd be like saying all synthetics are alike but the geth are a thing and avina is also a thing but they aren't the same thing-"
Pallin had never witnessed this himself, but he had received various reports on her problem solving abilities. Many of them had stated that she works with an almost single minded focus, not unlike that of a turian, if the problem piqued her interest. If it didn't she would just get it done as correctly as soon as possible, pass it off to someone else, or get distracted and forget about it completely.
"- plus you can't really stop an idea so sooner or later I'll probably see more biosynthetics like me. But the other terms I can think of are just inaccurate. I'm not a chimera, and the dog mechs aren't homunculi.-"
Apparently the last one was caused by a faulty perception filter. Either everything was filtered out which engaged hyperfocus, or nothing was causing deficits of attention. Palin wasn't sure if he believed it to be a technical problem. Li herself had mentioned having a neurological disorder which caused the same issues.
It sounded like an excuse to shirk work in his opinion but he wasn't about to argue with an expert.
"-So yeah. Just shorten the term to b-synth, add a class and a category. That could work right?" Finished Li.
"That is acceptable." Palin filled out the information and set it aside as a template for future dossiers.
"So what am I going to do in the meantime?"
"According to your cover story. You are a proof of concept and your intelligence and sapience is the result of you accidentally uploading a VI into itself. You will be a part of C-sec forces. As such. You will receive combat and tactical training." He held up a hand to forestall the interruption he knew was coming. "Yes. Your size has been taken into account."
"Okay. How much am I getting paid?"
How typical of a human. Grasping at things they don't deserve even when they have already proven their faults.
"None. You are merely paying for your accommodations in labor."
The mech mimicked raising an eyebrow by altering the shape of her upper eye lid. "I don't like the sound of that. I am not here of my own free will."
"You are paying for your own safety and your life. We could've easily kept you in a cell with the lesser dog mechs."
"Wrong. Citadel law prohibits indentured servitude and work under coercion is not valid and thus frowned upon by the law. Plus danger or not, no scientist worth their salt would willingly ignore something new. If you had kept me down there the curiosity of your mooks would've driven you mad. Besides, I don't have anything to lose by sitting in a cell. I can dance to music all day long and I don't need to move to play Nyan cat. You on the other hand will lose resources in keeping me contained.."
Oh for the love of Spirits, the last thing he needed with a dangerous mech on the loose. Li must listen to reason or she will definitely go into a cell.
That being said he would not be surprised if someone broke her out just to study it. Palin suspected that Zisal would certainly do so, especially on behalf of his dalatrass. "Contributing to C-sec is not considered an unworthy task. Harkin is enough of a dead weight. We do not need another one."
The mech looked as if the mere possibility of being compared to Harkin was an insult. The pupils constricted again."I am not a dead weight. For the past two months I have been filling out the general forms of a number of officers as well sorting and organizing them. Considering how many forms need to be scanned into the database and organized that is definitely pulling me weight. On top of that I've put up with invasive examinations and workplace bullying! Damn Right I deserve to be compensated!" She gave a flick of her tail. "Besides, my biometric scanning capabilities on its own are worth quite quite a bit. No one can hide from me so long as I can use it."
"Now see here-"
Ultimately it took two hours of intense discussion, threats of suicide, and fact checking to hammer out the details of my new job and salary.
It was mentally and emotionally exhausting and I'm going to stop thinking about it for a while.
I think the debate would've gone on for longer if I hadn't tried to swear at him.
Keyword tried.
Who ever made me must've meant for me to be around kids or something because I can't swear. I mean, I usually don't anyway but I highly doubt many people can keep a straight face when the person talking to him is yelling a bunch of animal sounds.
On an almost unrelated note, I have to call bullshit by mooing.
I probably shouldn't have lost my temper, but I can't stand being compared to Harkin. I don't drink while I'm working, own porn magazines, or strangle people. I also don't shove paperwork off on interns and make other people throw out my own trash. While I suck at dealing with people I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to sexually harass girls that are victims of domestic violence.
I still feel bad for not doing anything about that aside from stomping on his foot but I couldn't think of anything else. Also what can you say that won't embarrass the victim? Stop grabbing her tits?
I ended up with a pretty big dent in my ribs for that. Ugh.
He is an asshole of the highest degree and just thinking about him pisses me off.
Which is exactly why I don't.
I'm getting paid ten chits an hour for an 8 hours a day seven days a week. I argued that my pay should be higher since I'm more or less forced to live here but the boss insisted that that was the salary for the bottom ranked ones. I guess it works out since I don't have to pay rent and I eat the leftovers from the other officers.
So long as they didn't have peanuts in it of course. I'm deathly allergic to those and the just smell of them makes me nauseous. Thinking of them does that too actually.
Anyways, after the whole discussion I stepped out of the office to find that a bunch of other people had been listening at the door.
Before I could say anything I was rushed away from the office and into the break room where I more or less had the whole thing recounted to me.
Apparently my voice is still pretty loud even if I didn't have- Yeah I'm not going to think about that.
Also nobody expected me to get all philosophical during a salary debate. I don't know why they were so surprised. I am definitely willing to pull out the big guns to protect my rights.
After all, sentience is the ability to feel emotions, which I definitely do and sapience is the ability to act on judgements, which I also do, even if I get into trouble.
I have no intentions of spending my entire life in one place and I said as much.
Then he called me a soulless mech, saying I was just like Harkin and the rest of humanity in demanding things without earning them.
I pointed out that his statement was contradictory since humanity was clearly had art, and thus, a soul. After all, you couldn't have create things that invoked emotions without being able to feel them.
Then I shouted at him for comparing me to that asshole it all kind of went downhill from there.
Dammit.
Now I'm all worked up again.
I politely excused myself from the crowd and shuffled off into my interrogation room.
The room was a barren as ever, empty save for the table, the chair, and the foot stool on top of the table that served as my bed. Sort of. The chair and the table were made of metal, but the stool was plastic. For the last two months I had more or less crammed myself under the stool to sleep and today I was going to do it again. It was surprisingly cozy and the plastic trapped the heat from my body, so it was almost like having a blanket. A pillow would've been nice though.
Oh well.
I hopped onto the table from the ground and squeezed under the stool. I wasn't going to be sleeping for a while but it was nice to be in my own space relatively speaking. I started playing some music in my head and I could feel myself slowly relax.
I always did like listening to video games. Portal especially. Somehow being dark, light hearted, and funny at the same time without ever losing its creep factor.
Aperture science.
We do what we must because we can
For the good of all of us
except the ones who are dead
It's kind of weird being able to tense and relax despite being made of metal.
Scratch that, it's really weird.
I don't really remember seeing muscles when I ripped up my leg either.
My eyes drifted over to the slightly dinged up leg. It still had bite marks from when I last tore into it.
It also had some marks on the end of my hoof. My nail chewing habit carried over it seemed.
I felt the familiar urge to fix the dents by putting my hoof in my mouth. It would only take a few strategic bites after all. But I resisted.
Soon I would either get moved into official housing or I would have money to buy decorations for here. I'm pretty sure it was going to be the former though. I wonder if I'll get an actual bed or if I'm just going to get shuffled into a closet.
Didn't matter right now.
You just keep on trying
till you run out of cake
Might as well do some more cleaning.
And the science gets done
And you make a neat gun
The world falls away and I'm in darkness once more.
For the people who are still alive.
…..
My headspace is the same as it always was. Mostly empty save for the figure of me, a stat sheet under it and faint circuit lines marking the boundaries. Some weird stuff floating around and fogging things up.
I wonder what that says about me. I'm not that dumb am I?
Well, I've spent a good chunk of time cleaning out the dark fog. While I'd love to say that I had found some new abilities that would make people take me seriously. I haven't.
Most of the stuff I cleared just made it easier for me to not zone out during conversations and to get on with less sleep.
I could also mentally go on the internet and project various things, and use my head lens as a flashlight, but since everyone can do that it doesn't mean anything.
Besides, why do they call it the extranet anyway? The internet is called the internet because it's short for the internetwork. It's purpose is to allow people to interconnect with each other and the world around them. Why would the term change to extranet? And also why is every video being called a vid? A vid is practically catch all term for every video. A thirty second cat video is a vid. A 18 hour elcor film is also a vid. I'd love to know what to expect when I look things up. Goddammit I wanted to watch funny dog movies without needing to sort through a bajillion funny dog videos.
Ugh!
I love being able to pirate my old games though. They were usually free since no one cared much for century old video games. The portal series and the world of goo were apparently popular since they were puzzle based and parents would encourage their kids to play it.
I could probably hack the rom codes and play in the real world but I like using my thumbs.
Seriously.
I know I shouldn't complain about having fingers to hold stuff with but it's driving me nuts. No matter what I do, I can only have fingers when I'm holding something. I can adjust the grip for all sorts of things, but I can't point, snap, flip off assholes, or push buttons.
It's nuts!
Okay. That's enough for now.
I walk over to my stat sheet as I have so many times before. It has changed between visits, a by product of scrubbing and Sepin's poking I'm sure.
Current Designation: Lucia Li
Name: Lydia
Gender: FEMALE
Height: 16 inches/ 40.6 centimeters.
Weight: 10kg
Species; B-synth
Class: Human
Type: Guardian
Date of activation: 4/13/2180 [CORRUPTED]
Armaments: NONE
Current Utilities: Biometric scanner, Music player, projector, extranet connection, internal storage[CORRUPTED]
Strength: 3/10 medium-low
Vision: 5/10 Night vision inactive
Auditory sensor: 5/10 Average
Olfactory sensor: 3/10 medium-low
Synchronicity: 100%
The fact that the strength, smell, and vision settings are number based meant that they could be adjusted. I actually tried to up my smell sensitivity a few days ago because I thought it would be cool. I nearly puked, which again, is really weird when you don't have a stomach.
See, a couple of people keep peanut butter inside their desks and eat it throughout the day. I don't really know who it is and I don't care to find out.
I wasn't about to mess with my vision, hearing or my strength settings. The last thing I need is to accidentally kill someone and not notice it because I was blind and deaf. Then again, maybe the opposite was worse, dying horribly because I was too busy staring and listening at everything doesn't sound that appealing either.
That last one always puzzled me.
Synchronicity for what? Was there someone else that I was linked to?
Was it to make sure that all my bodyparts worked?
Thats…. Yeah. Not going to think about it.
The idea of losing all my limbs… Nope.
Great, now I feel somewhat sick and I've got the chills. Today has not been my day.
Oh well. I'm just going to watch llamas with hats. Carl's antics are always funny to watch.
…..
I woke up some time later to the smell of cookies.
Mmmmm…. Chocolate ship.
It'd been forever since I had any and the smell was making me hungry.
I moved the stool off me and hopped down from the table.
It was about three a.m.
Headquarters was never closed but it got pretty quiet this time of day. Or was it night? There wasn't any really obvious sun to track. As such the halls and cubicles were empty save for a few lab techs, and Garrus. He looked kind of annoyed about something. Probably best not to ask.
I took a moment to enjoy the smell before I followed it into the break room. It was clean and empty. A pot of coffee was sitting on the counter next to a pot of its dextro equivalent, klah. Both of them were kept warm by the heating coils underneath. I drank them both once and they tasted almost exactly the same.
The first time I drank klah it tasted something like worcestershire sauce mixed with cough syrup. Then it became more like regular coffee.
Of course, switching back to the regular stuff I got the same awful taste until everything readjusted itself.
I can't complain. The same thing happens when I ate chocolate cake and drank soda at the same time. The stuff tastes horrible until my tongue gets used to it.
I don't really know why biochemistry was such a big deal with everyone here. I can eat stuff just fine. Plus it's not like it can kill you or anything. The worst thing that could happen is a bad case of indigestion and some lost calories. They could just sprinkle just vitamins or something to make it more worthwhile.
Plus a whole lot of foods had both kinds of amino acids. Heck, I'm pretty sure there's at least one neurotransmitter that was dextro-amino. Meh. Not my problem, or anyone else's for that matter.
I never thought that pharmaceutical organic chemistry would be more than just a wasted course requirement. Funny how things work out.
If I start making money through art commissions I am going to cry. Thousands of dollars wasted and I won't even graduate.
… Okay. Moving on.
Anyways, I spied the plate of cookies on the table and I hopped up there to grab one.
Holy crap, these cookies are huge and they're still warm. I took a bite without thinking and Immediately felt bad.
What if these cookies were for someone? What if they were meant to be a present?
After staring at the cookie for a minute I popped the rest of it in my mouth. Frankly, if it was meant to be someone's lunch, they would've left their name on it or at least kept it in their own locker.
Plus, it's a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies! This is heaven on a plate. All I need now is a nice tall glass of milk. Unfortunately I still haven't figure out how to walk and hold a glass at the same time without sloshing everything everywhere. Hobbling along on three limbs definitely leaves a wet trail and my snout isn't pointy enough for me to bite and carry the rim.
Ugh, I have really weird problems.
I glanced back at the cookies whispering my name and I thought to myself, why not? They're good.
So I grabbed a few more, shoved it in my gut, and left the rest for everyone else and went back to my room to draw.
"Sepin? Don't you have anything better to do?" Sighed Garrus. "You're starting to look like a Volus who found a bargain."
"No. This is much too fascinating. Lucia seems perfectly at ease with eating foods of the wrong chirality. It's only took the smell of some boxed cookie mix to invoke the food response." Replied the salarian as he alternated between watching the mech draw in the interrogation room and charting numbers. "I'm observing her eating process. I wonder how she processes the things she eats without a digestive system."
"Wouldn't it be the same way she expels the water she drinks?"
"No. The water is directed into her nervous system and drive core before being expelled as water vapor through the nostrils. Foods are solid and don't work that way. Current brain waves suggest that eating may fulfil a psychological need at the very least. They are much calmer than they were before."
"So you're saying that the shouting match in the executor's office was because she was hungry?"
"Yes. And slightly sleep deprived." Bobbed Sepin as he typed something into his omnitool. "Yes. Of course. It makes sense. The brain is organic and still needs rest and nutrients. Though, having a miniature drive core offsets some of the needs." A few clicks later he begins to ramble, not even caring if Garrus was still listening. "The need for rest seems to stem from overstimulation rather than fatigue. Cognitive dissonance may also be a possibility since no healthy organic would forget to eat for such a long period of time. Or maybe it's another effect of the faulty perception filter."
"Okay well since she's probably going to be moving in with me soon do you have a care sheet?"
"Yes. Yes. I'm about to send it to you." Sepin stopped watching just long enough to hit send before turning back to the screen. "I must admit I'm rather jealous. How did you get Palin to allow this?"
"A combination of my charming personality and my aim." Snarked Garrus. "And the fact that as a detective I'm in the best position to hone her skills outside of Basic."
The expression on Sepin's face suddenly changed from curiosity to alarm.
"What's wrong?" Demanded Garrus. Because if something was wrong with his future roommate, he'd rather learn about it now rather than later.
"She's biting her leg again."
AN:/
Edit: I accidentally left out a segment when I copied this over from google docs. Read it again and enjoy it
Hi again. I got bored waiting for my other story to get edited so I cranked out another chapter for this one!
Portal is the greatest thing ever and the credits song from the fist game was hilarious.
Also the amino acid thing makes no sense in the game. We eat lots of things with dextro amino acids in it, like mint.
If I get around to it, it will pop again as a relevant Plot point. It's has to do with Lucia's mysterious origins.
Reviews are love~
And now for responses:
TheRangerBoy: Thank you! I'm glad you think so! But I must credit my inspiration to Pelinal-Whitestrake for his story A Woman and Her Wolf.
Blaze1992: It's actually a language thing. The dog mechs have an easier time understanding her as opposed to all the other aliens that they'd never seen or heard before.
Eurodox54: Thank you! As soon as I figure out how to get links working I'll post an actual picture of her.