7. Of Arguments and Advice
Jon was avoiding her.
He knew it was the right thing to do after the basement incident. He had crossed a line that day and he'll be damned if he did it again. He could not allow himself to lose control like that ever again, to allow his selfish desires to overtake his body without any regard for the dangerous consequences. So, for the next week, his mind and logic overpowered his emotions.
He knew Sansa did not like this one bit.
He could feel her piercing gaze burning into the side of his head whenever he walked past her in the school hallways, or deliberately refused to glance in her direction during class. It almost made him want to give up his avoidance of her.
Some days he felt like giving into his feelings. They were mentally exhausting him in keeping up his actions, when all he wanted to do was sink down on to his knees in front of her and ask her to kiss him again.
He felt like a madman, enslaved to her charms no matter what he did to avoid it. He had to get control of his own body back before it was too late and he was too far gone in his feelings to retreat; a notion he feared had already happened.
During the week, he evaded her attempts to talk to him alone by eating his lunch in the staff room instead of the canteen as he normally would. Unfortunately, this meant that he had to deal with Melisandre's less than subtle advances in order to get his attention.
Both, Sansa and Jon had not spoken properly ever since the basement. Even in lessons it was different. They did not speak before the lesson as Jon would arrive later than usual, when all the students were already present. Nor did they speak after the lesson as he was already out of the door before Sansa could even approach him.
Needless to say, it was exhausting and hurting the both of them.
Jon however, did come close to giving up completely by overhearing a certain conversation with Sansa and her friends during the lesson.
Despite trying to avoid her, he still kept the seating plans which meant she was still placed on the front table because it would look suspicious to everyone if he changed the seats a few weeks into school without giving any logical reason.
He was sitting on his desk chair, grading a bunch of essays with a red marker pen, his face frowning as he tried to make out the illegible scrawl written on a scrunched-up piece of paper. He had allowed the rest of the class to chat amongst themselves while doing their work.
Much to his frustration, Jon's ears decided to overhear a conversation in which Sansa's name was mentioned.
"You've changed, Sansa. There's something different about you lately," Jeyne mentions, curiously throwing glances.
"I'm still the same person, Jeyne. I haven't done a personality change," Sansa rolls her eyes without looking up from her work.
"No, but you still look different. It's like you have a lot on your mind. You barely look as if you're paying attention to some of the conversations we have and you're always in a hurry to do something," Jeyne narrows her eyes at her.
Sansa ignores her friend's curiosity, choosing to do her work.
"Wait. You have a crush on someone. Don't you?" Jeyne says, her eyes lighting up in excitement.
Jon's head snaps up, his eyes narrowing in their direction.
"Who is he? Do I know him?" she questions hurriedly.
"Jeyne, stop. There's no one," Sansa snaps, glaring at her.
Jeyne narrows her eyes in thought. "There so is somebody. Otherwise, why are you so defensive? Okay, fine don't tell me who he is. Just tell me if you do have a crush on someone."
Jon could see from his desk that Sansa's cheeks had turned pink from blushing hard. Jeyne took this as a yes.
"Oh my god! You have to tell Margaery. I cannot believe you kept this from your best friends!" Jeyne scowls.
"This is precisely why I don't tell you two. Because you would make a big deal out of it," Sansa rolls her eyes in exasperation.
"Of course, we would. You're our best friend, we're supposed to make a deal out of your crush. So, can I guess who he is seeing as you're not going to tell us out loud?" she asks with a sly smirk.
Jon, meanwhile felt conflicted with himself. There was a battle between fury at the guy who Sansa had a crush on, and sadness on how fast she seemed to move on from him.
It was what he wanted, he firmly establishes to himself. She had to find someone good for her who was not her teacher. Despite this thought, he listened closer to the conversation, wanting to find out who she liked now.
"Is he a student at our school?" Jeyne asks.
Sansa shakes her head.
"Wait, if he's not a student here then he has to be from somewhere else. Unless he's out of school," Jeyne asks thoughtfully.
Sansa's lack of response made Jeyne's mouth drop open, her eyes widening in excitement. "You like an older guy. Don't you?" she demands.
"Jeyne, just drop it. You and Margaery do not even know him," Sansa cuts in.
The bell rang at this moment, snapping Jon out of his emotional war with himself. The sound reminded him of where he was at that moment.
"Sir, are you okay?" Sam inquires worriedly. "You're face has gone all red and you look angry at something."
"I'm fine, Sam. No need to worry," Jon sighs running his hand through his hair.
Sam did not look convinced but let the subject slide, giving him a nod and walking off with an inquisitive glance thrown Jon's way.
A cold voice cuts in, making Jon snap his head up and mentally groan for being too slow to get out of the classroom.
"You've been avoiding me," Sansa states with a hard expression.
"I have been doing no such thing. You've confused me with someone else, Sansa," he sighs.
"Don't treat me as if I am child. I can tell when someone has been avoiding me," she snaps, pursing her lips together in a firm line.
He ignores her, giving her a hard look instead and standing up from his desk chair, placing his clenched fists on the table.
"We have to talk about what happened in the basement. You can't just keep ignoring it forever. Sooner or later we have to face up to what we did."
Jon clenches his fists even tighter. "We're done having this conversation, Sansa. The lesson is over and it is time for you to leave," he grits out through clenched teeth.
"No, we are not done, Jon!" she yells, glaring at him.
"Shush, keep your voice down. Someone could hear you," he says worriedly glancing towards the classroom door.
"Good," she snarls. "I hope they do, maybe then you'll be forced to have this conversation instead."
He lets out a tired sigh, his resolve quickly weakening when it came to her.
"What do you want me to say, Sansa?"
"I want you to own up to your feelings instead of avoiding them. Or at least give me an explanation as to why you kissed me that day," she pleads at him with tearful blue eyes, her voice softening in the process.
"You want me to admit that I have strong feelings for you. That I hate every male who gazes at you with lust and desire in their eyes. That I cannot stand to see you hurt in anyway," he demands angrily.
"I want you to tell me the truth, Jon," she says softly looking up at him.
"Because, I do! Even though I know it is wrong and I could get arrested, I cannot stop what I feel for you and believe me I have tried to stop it in any way that I can," he chuckles darkly.
"You're not going to get arrested, Jon. Not for liking someone, you cannot control your emotions," Sansa argues with him.
"No, I cannot control my emotions, but I can control my actions," Jon says resolutely.
Sansa pauses for a second, dread filling her stomach. "What does that mean?"
"It means that whatever we had before stops. From now on I'm just your teacher and you're just my student. Nothing more, nothing less," he explains stubbornly.
"You cannot keep making decisions on this yourself. I deserve to have some say in this as well. After all I have strong feelings for you myself," Sansa furiously states, crossing her arms and glowering at him.
Jon's expression falters into vulnerability and disbelief. "You have feelings for me," he asks softly.
Sansa nods earnestly. Jon hardens his expression once more, clenching his fists at his side.
"Nonetheless, this cannot continue into something we would both regret in the long run."
"You would never be something I would regret, Jon. Why can't you see that?" she shouts indignantly.
"Because you deserve someone better, Sansa! Someone who is closer to your age and not a member of authority who has taken advantage of you," he cries.
Her mouth drops open in shock.
"Is that what you think you've done? Because if so, then you know absolutely nothing Jon Snow," she argues, her eyes flaring up in rage.
Jon gives out a scoff. "You've clearly moved on anyways. I heard about your crush on the older boy."
"What older boy?" she asks furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.
"Oh, don't play dumb, Sansa. You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"I really have no idea- "
A voice cuts her off before Sansa could question him further.
"Um, am I interrupting something?" asks a meek looking boy standing near the door with sheets of paper in his arms, wearing a confused expression.
"No." Jon replies quickly. "Miss Stark, here was just leaving."
Sansa lets out an angry sigh before walking out, but not before giving Jon a look over the boy's shoulder.
Jon ignores this, focusing his attention on the newcomer. He did the right thing, he reassures himself.
Sansa was infuriated as she slammed her house door shut.
Who did he think he was making decisions like that without consulting her opinion on the matter? Men were so troublesome, she thought darkly to herself. They were so infuriatingly cocky in their belief to have the audacity to do anything as they pleased. And Jon Snow was not any different, she scowled.
He didn't stop to ask her about her feelings in the matter and just did as he pleased.
She stormed into the kitchen, feeling anger pulsating through her body. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself down in order to think properly.
A sadness then took over her. Was this just a game to him? Did he just consider her as a stupid little girl who was unable to think about the consequences?
Because she had thought about it. And even though she knew it was wrong, she couldn't stop her feelings from overtaking her. She knew that after Joffrey she was afraid to trust men again, but Jon had proved that some men could be gentle and kind, something she had never experienced from the male gender unless it was her family.
Her romance novels had taught her that passion and love for someone was always worth in the end despite the consequences. And her feelings for Jon was something she had never experienced with anyone, not even in the beginning stages of her relationship with Joffrey.
Walking over to the kitchen cupboard she opened it, looking for the drink she desperately desired at this moment. Reaching about her arm, she grabbed the bottle of wine in one hand and a glass in the other.
It was time to take her mind of things that were giving her a headache.
"So, are you ever going to tell me why you're moping like a puppy on my leather couch?"
Jon glances up from the said couch he was lying on to blink wearily at the silver haired women. She wore a curious expression on her face as she stared at Jon who was eating ice cream at this very moment.
"You look like a woman who has just being dumped by her boyfriend," the woman states with a smirk.
"Gee, thanks Daenerys," he sighs sitting up straight to look at her in the face.
"So, can I have a reason as to why my nephew decided to barge into my house so suddenly, lie on my couch eating ice cream while watching some documentary?"
Jon shifts uncomfortably. "It's nothing. I just have a lot on my mind."
"So, do a lot of people after work, but you don't see them with puppy dog eyes," Dany rolls her eyes. "Wait, is this a girl problem you have?"
"No," Jon is quick to reply.
Dany narrows her eyes, looking intently into his eyes while he avoided hers. "Really? Then why have I been hearing you give out love-struck sighs every three minutes, which by the way I can hear from the kitchen?"
"Okay, fine I have a girl problem. Are you happy now?" he sighs.
"Wait. Is this your subtle way of asking for advice without directly saying it out loud?" she smirks, crossing her arms.
"I'm glad you noticed," Jon says sarcastically.
"So, who is she? She must be quite a girl to have you this obsessed over her," Dany raises an eyebrow.
Jon keeps quiet, shifting in his seat nervously.
"Okay, fine. Don't tell me who she is. Just tell me what's wrong."
Jon knew his aunt could be persistent and stubborn when she wanted to be. He admired this trait of hers, but sometimes he knew it could be irritating, especially when he wanted to avoid this particular subject.
He had met her when he was eighteen years old, after his mother had told him he had a living relative on his father's side of the family. At first Jon did not want anything to do with her, judging by the type of father he had but after careful persuasion from his mother, he decided to give her a chance.
He certainly did not expect her to be so young, considering that he was expecting a middle-aged woman who looked similar to his father. What he saw though, was a young girl (near his age) with a kind smile and a caring nature. She had a boyfriend at the time, who she was living with now called Drogo.
Personally, his aunt's boyfriend scared him the first time Jon saw him. Drogo was a muscular biker with large arms and an intense stare that scared even the bravest person. However, Jon knew that Drogo loved Dany, just as she loved him and they have been going strong for many years.
"I think I might like this girl," Jon slowly states.
"Okay, what seems to be the problem with that then?" Dany asked confusedly.
"That's exactly the problem. I'm not supposed to like her, there are consequences with this. Especially if other people find out," he explains in frustration.
Dany stared at him with soft, caring eyes. "Jon, if you like this girl then you shouldn't worry about what other people are saying. After all a relationship only has two people, not several."
"It's not that simple," he sighs, running his hands over his face.
"It can be. You're just making it more complicated than it needs to be," she argues.
He opens his mouth to answer, before she cuts him.
"Just think about whether she makes you happy. Because if she does then who cares what other people think. We're all humans who feel intense emotions. You just need to take advantage of it otherwise you're going to be living with regrets for the rest of your life."
He pauses for a moment, contemplating on her words with a thoughtful gaze.
"See, you know I'm right," she says with a twinkle in her eyes.
"I don't appreciate your gloating at my expense," he rolls his eyes.
She gives out a laugh before gazing at Jon with a serious expression. "Seriously though, you should take advantage of it. You'll never know what the outcome is if you don't."
Jon gives an accepting nod before turning to face her.
"Thank you for the advice. Now I think I should be getting home before Drogo arrives. I don't want to think about what you two are going to be doing even with me in the house," he shivers in disgust.
Dany laughs as he walks out of her door.
It was eight o'clock in the evening when he arrived home.
As soon as he went in the house, he went to check on his mother who was sleeping in her own bed. He gave her a quick kiss on the check and walked into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich; his thoughts quickly drifting to his aunt's earlier words.
The ring of the doorbell made him snap his head round, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion on who could be knocking at this time. Most people were in their houses, watching TV or sleeping.
Trudging up to the doorway, he opened the front door, his eyes widening at the familiar girl who he was just thinking about a few minutes ago, standing on his doorstep with a determined expression. Judging by her glazed over eyes, Jon observed that she was quite intoxicated with alcohol.
"Sansa?" he asks worriedly, his eyes narrowing on her figure.