"I thought you stopped smoking."
"After that amazing sex… want one?" Olivia offered him the box of cigarettes but he denied and took the one out of her mouth putting it out standing out on the balcony of her bedroom.
"So?"
"So? What's 'so'?"
"What are we doing?"
Olivia looked out at the quiet city, being it was four in the morning. "we're standing here."
"You know what I mean, Olivia. Where are we going from here?"
"I've not forgiven you. I don't know if I can forgive you. But I would like to. I want to be able to forgive you. And I want to be able to trust you too. Right now though, I can't trust you."
"You can trust me, Liv. Of course you can trust me. I made a mistake. I screwed up, badly. But that will never happen again. I will never give you another reason not to trust me."
"You've cheated on me before, Fitz."
"Are we keeping a tally? Because if we are I can bring yours out too."
"I didn't sleep with your best friend."
"Jake?"
"So Abby was a payback? Just a stab at me for leaving with Jake ten years ago?"
"Absolutely not! Abby was a mistake. And I will never let anything like that happen again."
"But how do I know that you won't go for someone else?"
"Do you really want to go over all the what if's? We'll be here all night. What if you decide that you can't forgive me and move on to someone else? What if you take my daughters away from me and I never see them again? What if we get a divorce and you don't tell me where you go and I can't find you? I can't make sure that you and the girls are okay? And what if you and the girls get kidnapped and I have no idea about it? What if you die and leave me alone?"
"Is that really what a horrible person you think I am?"
"No but how do I know that I haven't pushed you to that?"
"Fitz, if I was going to take the girls and leave, I would have done that already. And I know that if I did you would have every possible agency in the world looking for me and the girls just so you could take them back."
Fitz sat on the bed, unsure of where this conversation was going to go. He watched Olivia on the balcony for a few minutes until she came back in.
"Do you still want a divorce?"
"I don't know. I haven't thought about it. There was never any question that you were the father of Abby's kid. This changes everything. What do you want, Fitz?"
"The same thing I've wanted all along. I want you to come home and stop all this divorce crap. I want to see you and the girls every day not just when it's my week. Come on, Liv. Move back home, I'll move to another room if that's what you want."
"I don't know what I want right now. I don't know what I want to happen next. The last time this happened I did have two daughters to worry about. Now I have to worry about how it's going to affect them. Last month I wanted absolutely nothing to do with you. I could have taken Mackenzie and Rayna and gone anywhere without telling you anything and not feel guilty."
"And now?"
"Mackenzie would kill me if I ever took her away from you. And now I just don't know how I want this to go."
Olivia laid down in bed next to him and stared at the ceiling.
Fitz fought with himself trying to decide if he should leave or stay with her. When she turned on her side he took that as his invitation to leave. He kissed her cheek and told her he'd see her later and left locking the door behind him.